- Some women get offended if a man insists on paying for everything.
- Some women like it when a man pays for everything on a date.
- Some women like it when a man only pays for the first date and then gets her to pay for the second date.
- Some women like it when a man pays for some dates and accepts her offer to pay from time to time.
- Some women want to pay 50/50 for the first date.
In other words, women are crazy!
No, I’m just kidding.
In other words, all women are different, so the answer to the question of, “Should a man pay for everything?” is that it depends on you and the woman.
Another answer to the question is that it really doesn’t matter.
If you want to be successful with women, you should worry so much about what they might think.
For example: If you happen to “offend” a woman for insisting on paying for the first date, then simply laugh at the situation rather than seeing it a huge mistake has now screwed up your chances with her.
It’s no big deal.
Just get the bill paid for and get on with kissing, having sex and enjoying a relationship together. Everything else is just details that don’t really matter.
Back When Men Had to Pay For Everything…
In the past, a man usually had to court a woman (with the permission of her father or guardian) and if they happened to go out together, a family member would come along to make sure that they didn’t touch or kiss.
In those days, it was taken for granted that the man should pay for everything and the woman simply went along looking pretty.
Even if a woman wanted to pay, she usually didn’t have any money of her own because women generally didn’t have jobs and were taken care of by their family until they got married.
Today’s women are a lot more confident and independent. They can have job and make their own money, so they don’t need a man to pay for everything during the dating process.
Yet, people aren’t all the same.
Some women still hold onto the idea that a man should pay for everything, while other women don’t care and just want to get on with kissing, having sex and enjoying a relationship.
When You Trigger Her Feelings of Sexual Attraction For You, it Won’t Matter Who Pays
When a woman agrees to go out on a date with a guy, it usually means there are qualities about him (such as his confidence, masculinity, social intelligence, sense of humor, etc.), which are more attractive to her than just his looks or financial and social status.
Yes, there are some women who will only go out with a guy because he’s rich, good looking or has high social status and she will then expect him to pay for everything.
Yet, most women just aren’t like that at all these days.
So, when a woman is out on a date with you, it’s mainly because she is already attracted to you, and she will be excited about being with you, so the minor details of who pays aren’t really going to be that important.
If you’re on a date with a woman and aren’t sure about whether you should pay or not, you can use it as an opportunity to create even more attraction between you and her. How?
Let’s assume that you and her are in a restaurant and the waiter has just brought you the bill. Rather than feel awkward about it and get into a serious, “I’ll pay… No, I’ll pay,” discussion with her, be confident and use some humor to get her feeling attracted to you.
For example: The conversation may go something like this…
You: I’ve got this one.
Her: [Possibly looking shy and a little nervous]: No, let me pay for at least half.
You: [Smile and say in a joking manner]: Hmmm…actually, maybe you should pay for all of it because you were such a chatterbox over dinner. I had to sit here listening to you for like an hour. So, you pay for it.
Her: [Most likely laughing and blushing]: Um, okay…really?
You: [Smile and say] No, I’m just kidding. I love talking to you…you’re beautiful and interesting, so I’ll get the check this time. We can split the bill next time.
Her: [Giggling and blushing some more] Okay.
Of course, saying that she was a chatterbox is just a JOKE. You are not seriously complaining about having to listen to her talk so much.
It’s just silly chitchat where you are making fun of her in a playful way. As long as you understand that, she will see that you are just saying something silly for a laugh.
Talking to her like that will make her feel attracted to you because you’re being confident, masculine (i.e. slightly dominating her for fun) and are making her laugh.
Another example of what to say is:
You: I’ve got this one.
Her: Oh, okay.
You: [Smile and say] Actually, I’ve changed my mind. You pay for it.
Her: [Smiling, shocked, etc] Huh?
You: [Smile and say in a joking manner]: Yeah…and buy me an extra dessert to take home. I’m hungry.
Her: [Smiling, confused, etc]
You: [Smile and say]: Just kidding. I’ll get the check, but you have to give me a tip for taking you on such a great date. Tip me like $100 or something.
What’s happening here is that you are being confident and funny, which is going to make her feel attracted to you.
You are also making fun of the big “issue” about paying the bill. You’re showing her that she doesn’t have to be so formal around you and that she can just relax and be real.
Most of the awkwardness that comes with dating happens when one or both of the people is putting on an act of being nicer, more polite and more formal than they would normally be.
If you want to the date to go smoothly, drop the act and just be your normal cool, confident and charming self. When she sees that you’re being real and not putting on an act, she will then relax and enjoy herself more with you.
Where Guys Go Wrong
As you can see from the examples above, deciding on who pays can be turned into an opportunity to make her feel more attracted to you.
Yet, not all guys understand how to do that.
Here are some common mistakes that guys make when it comes to deciding who should pay…
1. He insists on paying for everything because his mother told him that’s what a “gentleman” will do.
Growing up, most guys get their first bit of “dating advice” from their mother, who will usually say something like, “If you want to get yourself a nice girl, you have to be a gentleman. Treat her like a princess.”
According to most well-meaning mothers, a woman will only be impressed by a man if he buys her flowers before a date, opens the car door for her every time, pulls out her chair at the table, and most importantly, pays for everything.
As great as this advice might have been back in the early 1900s, it doesn’t impress the women of today. Why?
When a guy puts on an act of being much nicer than he normally is, a woman can sense it and it makes her guard go up. She’s not interacting with the real version of him, so she feels like she needs to be cautious about letting him get to a kiss or sex with her.
So, what should a guy do instead?
Make her feel attracted to him by displaying the personality traits and behaviors that naturally attract women (e.g. confidence, charisma, humor, masculinity, etc).
Once the woman feels a lot of attraction for him, she will then appreciate the fact that he also happens to be a gentleman and has good intentions with her.
She will feel excited the guy who turns her on, is also a good guy. It’s like hitting the dating jackpot.
However, if a guy is just nice and is putting on an act of being a caring gentleman, the women isn’t going to be feeling turned on by him and will be wondering why he is acting like that.
It’s strange how a woman’s attraction works, but that’s life – things are strange sometimes.
A similar example is how guys who are too nice to women when they meet them, usually end up getting rejected when they try to make a move.
Watch this video to understand why…
As you will discover by watching the video above, there is nothing wrong with being nice to a woman.
However, if you haven’t first made the woman feel sexually attracted to you, she’s not going to fall madly in love with you because you’re being nice to her.
You have to begin by making a woman feel sexually attracted and turned on by you and then everything else flows on naturally and effortlessly after that.
2. He thinks that paying for everything will buy her attraction or love.
Some guys assume that if they pay for everything, (e.g. expensive dinners, drinks at a club or bar, movie tickets and snacks, etc.) a woman will automatically like him more.
While there are some women who only want money, gifts and to be treated like a princess, the majority of women don’t see paying for things as the step before kissing and sex.
Most women will kiss you and have sex with you for free, without you having to buy ANYTHING.
The most important thing to most women is that they respect you (i.e. you’re not a wimp, you’re confident, etc), feel attracted to you and enjoy interacting with you.
I’ve slept with many women who paid for their own drinks at a bar, came over to my place for a first date and even brought wine or ingredients to cook up some food.
So, don’t think that the secret to success with women is to pay for everything.
The most important thing is that you make her feel respect and attraction for you and that she actually enjoys interacting with you.
If she’s feeling turned on, falling in love and feeling good, she’s not going to anything else other than a kiss to want to have sex with you and begin a relationship.
3. He always lets her pay for everything, without ever offering to chip in or take care of some of the checks.
Some guys hear that they shouldn’t pay for everything when dating a woman and they end up taking it too far by not paying for ANYTHING at all.
Although it’s perfectly fine to let a woman pay for things sometimes, if a guy doesn’t even offer to pay once in a while, he simply comes across as being arrogant and disrespectful, which isn’t impressive to women.
Yes, some do women like rude, arrogant, selfish guys, but the majority of women do not.
If you want to be successful with women, don’t put on an act of being anything other than yourself.
If you are a good guy, then be a good guy. You will then attract women who are compatible with who you really are.
If you are being real, the love and connection between you and her will be more real as well.
So, if you want to pay 50/50, pay for most dates or take turns to pay, just go ahead and do that.
Do what feels right for you, as long as you’re not putting on an act of being a more generous guy than you actually are in the hope that it will impress her.
Just be your real self.
If you are being your real self and you then realize that you’ve been too generous or too much of a cheapskate with women, then you can decide to make some changes to who you are.
You who are is always changing, improving and growing. You’re not a fixed point of consciousness that will never change.
You are learning, becoming wiser and becoming more effective at living an awesome life.
What Really Matters to Her
So, should a man pay for everything or not? The answer is: It doesn’t really matter to most women.
What really matters to most women is whether or not they feel enough respect and attraction for you to kiss you, have sex with you and give a relationship a chance.
So, don’t worry about the details and simply focus on making her feel sexually attracted to you and then getting to a first kiss.
Everything prior to the kiss is just details that don’t really matter much at all.
As long as you are being authentic, being respectful and making her feel attracted to you, everything will work out just fine.