Sometimes it is fine to date your friend’s ex, but it really depends on the type of relationship they had and the kind of friendship that you have with him. Here are some examples:
1. A woman that your friend was having casual sex with: These guys, many guys date and have sex with multiple women at once. So, if you’re hanging around with friends who do that regularly, you will usually end up sleeping with a few of the same girls at times.
Personally speaking, one of my close friends slept with a woman we had nicknamed “tits” (because her breasts were so amazing.
Her tits were so unreal, they were like something out of an anime cartoon). We were fine about him sleeping with her when I got bored of it, because we both noticed her at the same time, but I had sex with her first because I am better with women that he is. See: What is Your Skill Level With Women?
2. Your friend’s girlfriend from high school: Relationships that you had in high school may have felt like they would lead to marriage and “happily ever after,” but they usually don’t. If you want to date your friend’s ex from high school who he no longer cares about or barely remembers, he should be totally fine about it.
However, if she is his “high school sweetheart” and has recently dumped him, then he’s probably not going to continue thinking of you as a true friend. A true friend cares about his friend and puts “bros before hos.”
If you want to hook up with his ex-girlfriend because you are too afraid to approach and meet new women, your friend will realize that and see you as an untrustworthy person who can’t be relied on. Trust is the backbone of a great friendship or relationship and if you break it, the relationship comes crashing down.
3. Your friend’s girlfriend who dumped him and broke his heart: As the old saying goes, “Time heals all wounds” and that is fairly true when it comes to being dumped by a woman you love and having your heart broken, but it really depends on the person.
For example: In my case, I got cheated on and then dumped by the love of my life because I became clingy in the relationship and wasn’t enough of a man for her. It ruined me for years, but I eventually picked myself off the floor and transformed myself into the man I am today.
If one of my friends wanted to date, have sex or even marry my ex-girlfriend, I would now be able to say, “Go ahead!” and would be genuinely happy for him, because I’ve enjoyed my choice with women for many years and am now in a relationship with my perfect woman.
However, if a friend wanted her shortly after she dumped me, I would no longer consider him a true friend. His actions would suggest that he didn’t care about me at all and simply went after her because he was afraid to get out there and approach and meet new women.
4. Your friend’s girlfriend who he happily dumped: If she’s a girl who he has happily dumped, then he will be fine about it in most cases.
5. Your friend’s wife who left him: This one is a big one. I mean, marriage – come on – it’s a big deal. If your friend married a woman, then he most-likely really loved her. So, if you really love your friend, you will try hard to steer clear of his wife and hook up with other women.
However, if your friend got lucky when he scored his ex-wife and they were never really a compatible match, then it is okay for you to begin seeing her (if you and her are a perfect match). If you’re only sleeping with his ex-wife because you’re too afraid to approach and meet new women, then you already know what you’re doing is “wrong.”
Either way, when it comes to telling your friend that you’re sleeping with his ex-wife, the news will rarely be happily received. If you feel as though your friend needs help meeting new women, feel free to suggest that he visit my site and learn from me.
6. Your friend’s wife that he happily left: If he happily left his wife and is glad to be hooking up with new women now, it shouldn’t be too much of a problem. The best way to tell him is to just be straight about it.
Say something like, “Peter…just letting you know – I’ve been sleeping with your ex-wife Rebecca lately” and then explain what your intentions are with her. Just be matter of fact about it. Don’t try to sugar coat it or hint at it. Just be real, honest and relaxed about it.
Why Do You Want Her Instead of the Billions of Other Women on Planet Earth?
What you really need to do in this situation is be completely honest with yourself about why you want to be with her. Is it because you and her are a perfect match, or is it because you fear putting yourself out there to meet a new woman like most guys do?
Sure, it’s comfortable and easy to date a woman you are familiar with because you know what to expect and won’t have to risk getting reject by new women you approach. Yet, how much of man will that make you feel like in the end?
Won’t you feel like a snake for taking your friend’s ex-girl instead of being man enough to confidently approach and pick up new women?
The truth is, with very little effort you could be dating and having sex with many new women, without ruining the relationship with your friend. Doesn’t that sound like a much better plan? When you meet new women (who haven’t already been sexed by your friends) there isn’t any awkwardness in any of your relationships.
Your friends are also much more impressed that you’ve managed to pick up new women outside of the safety of your “social circle.”
Value Contrast: A Potential Problem
Picture this scenario…
You decide to go ahead and date your friend’s ex-girlfriend, regardless of the problems it might cause in your friendship. Then one night, you go out to dinner or drinks with your friend and his ex-girlfriend (who is now your girl).
How are you going to feel when they bring up conversations that start with, “Remember the time when we…”? This is where something that I call “Value Contrast” kicks in.
If the relationship that you are having with her is not as good as the one they had, or if he behaves in a more attractive way than you (i.e. more confident, funny, masculine), then she will naturally compare you to him and may reconsider her feelings for you.
You will suddenly seem less valuable and attractive to her. However, if your relationship with her is better and you’re a more confident guy than he is, then she will see you as more valuable and it will help deepen her attraction for you.
Finally, what will you do if you break up? Not only might you have to deal with the pain of losing her, but you may have also lost one of your good friends. Now that you understand some of the potential problems of dating a friend’s ex-girl, what do you think when you ask yourself, “Should I date my friend’s ex-girlfriend?”
If you don’t want to risk ruining your friendship, then do what millions of brave men from around the world are now doing: Learning how to have their choice of women, instead of hoping to get lucky or take a friend’s ex. Don’t settle for scraps, don’t sit around waiting to get lucky and don’t hide from being the powerful man you dream of being.
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