If you want to get a woman in bed on the first night or first date, the first thing you need to accomplish is to get to get a first kiss.
I’ve slept with more than 250 women and of the women who I had a one night stand with or had sex on the first date with, it was always the first kiss that changed everything and immediately opened the doors to sex.
Some women can be pulled back for sex after talking to them for 1-10 minutes, whereas others need a couple of hours of hanging out, building up the attraction, getting to know each other and getting to a kiss before they are ready to leave the party or venue and go home with you.
Sometimes, a woman will be shy to leave with a guy in front of her friends, whereas other times she will be excited to show off to her friends that she’s met a cool guy who turns her on and that she’s happy go home and have sex with.
In terms of first dates, the same rule of getting to a first kiss applies, but it can’t be just any kind of kiss. To increase the odds to almost 100% that she will want to have sex (or at least give you a BJ) on the first date, you need to kiss her in a way that turns her on.
So, here’s how to get a woman in bed on the first night or first date…
How to Get a Woman in Bed on the First Night You Meet Her
First off all, you will want to go to a place where women are willing to sleep with guys on the first night that they meet them.
- Weekend festivals where people stay in tents or campervans.
- House parties.
- Singles events where you can leave the venue together.
- Wine or beer tasting events.
I’ve pulled women back for sex on the first night from many different places over the years, but almost all of my one night stands have come from bars, clubs and house parties.
I’ve also gotten sex on the first day by meeting women in a bookstore and at a shopping mall, where I invite women back to my place on a Sunday afternoon to “hang out.” As long as you know how to attract women and you have the confidence to move the interaction forward, you can get women in bed very easily these days.
When you’re at a bar or nightclub for example, you need to talk to women in a way that turns them on and makes them feel aroused by you, rather than just talking to them in a nice guy way all night.
Watch this video to understand some of the classic conversation mistakes that guys make, which turn women off the idea of having sex or going on a date…
When talking to a woman that you want to have sex with on the first night, it’s better to be direct and honest about your sexual interest, rather than pretending as though you just want to be her friend or are simply a nice, innocent guy who wants to talk to her for a while.
One of the best ways to be direct is to say something like, “You’re sexy…I like you” after you’ve built up some attraction between you and her.
So, at a point in the conversation where you and her are attracted to each other and you’ve just made her laugh, simply pause for two seconds and look at her up and down and then say, “You’re sexy…I like you.”
From that point onwards, she knows that you find her sexy, so she doesn’t have to play hard to get to make you show her how much you like her. It’s already clear that you find her sexually attractive, so she can then relax and just be herself around you.
It’s important to give women that direct confirmation of your attraction because most women are much more insecure, depressed and anxious than guys are.
- Most women are insecure about their physical appearance. According to a global study conducted by Dove cosmetics, 96% of women don’t consider themselves to be beautiful.
- Women are reported to experience depression at twice the rate of men in the USA.
- In the UK, 40% of women will require treatment for depression at some point in their life compared to only 10% of men. In other words, women are more depressed than men.
- Women are twice as likely to experience anxiety compared to men.
- 60% of the people who have OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorders) and phobias are women.
As you can see from the statistics above, women are generally emotionally weaker and more sensitive than men.
So, rather than looking at women and assuming that they are superhuman beings who never get nervous or anxious, understand that women usually need your confirmation and assurance that you find them attractive and appealing.
If you don’t give an insecure woman (i.e. most women) that confirmation, she will usually play hard to get and make you really try to impress her first, so she can see for sure that you really do find her attractive and aren’t just trying to score with another random girl.
So, after you’ve given a woman the confirmation of, “You’re sexy…I like you” what you then need to do is get to a first kiss.
With some women, the first kiss will happen in front of her friends, while other women will prefer to get alone first (e.g. sit down on a couch together, go to the bar to order some drinks together, go outside the party, sit in a dark or quiet corner of the room, get in a car, etc).
How the first kiss happens usually depends on how the woman perceives public displays of affection.
Some women are completely fine to kiss a guy in front of friends, coworkers or some family members, whereas other women are worried about looking slutty or easy, so they prefer to do it away from prying eyes.
Everyone has different opinions about kissing in front of other people, so how you can know if a woman is okay with kissing you in public?
Generally speaking, if you have made her feel a lot of attraction for you (i.e. you haven’t just been talking to her like a friendly, nice guy and instead have been turning her on by the way you behave, talk and interact) and she is talking to you face to face (i.e. eye to eye) while smiling, looking in your eyes, looking down at your lips and remaining really close to your face, then it’s almost 100% certain that she wants you to kiss her.
To test whether or not she wants to kiss, simply lean in to kiss her slightly. As long as you do it in a confident, relaxed manner, the kiss will almost always happen and it will feel amazing for both of you.
However, if you begin to lean in and you’re looking up at her and using your body language to basically ask, “Is it okay to kiss you??” most women will reject you at that point. You’ve got to just relax and trust in the fact that she is attracted to you and simply lean in to see what happens.
One time, I had a girl pull back and not want to kiss, so I simply smiled and said, “Oh, I didn’t know that you were so shy” and she then apologized and I said, “Come here…let’s just hug instead.”
We hugged for a few seconds, pulled back and started kissing.
I could have ruined that moment though by thinking that I’d been rejected when she originally pulled back. Instead, I believed in my attractiveness to her and from that belief in myself, I was able to say, “Oh, I didn’t know that you were so shy.”
After you’ve gotten to the first kiss, what usually needs to happen is a bit more partying and hanging out and you then suggest leaving together.
For example: In a moment where you are her are feeling intimate (e.g. hugging, holding each other, kissing, etc), simply say something like:
- We should get out of here.
- You ready to get out of here?
- Let’s get out of here and go somewhere else, just you and me.
- Do you want to get out of here and go hang out somewhere private, just you and me?
- Are you ready to get started with the after party at my place?
- Wanna get out of here?
As long as you have built up the woman’s attraction for you, created a unique connection with her and gotten to a first kiss, most women will then be willing to leave the venue with you.
Despite the fact that sex happens very often these days, a lot of guys make the mistake of assuming that a woman would never sleep with a guy on the first night.
Here are some statistics to put it in perspective:
A study in the USA found that 55% of couples had sex on their first date and a study in Europe found that 70% of women admitted to having experienced a one night stand before.
In other words, sex happens very quickly these days, so don’t be afraid to make a move after you’ve put in all the effort to get her attracted, turned on and kissing you.
How to Get a Woman in Bed on the First Date
When I first started dating lots of women, I would usually take them out to a restaurant, café or lounge bar to eat, drink and hang out for hours.
After a while, that dating process became very time consuming and usually didn’t result in sex on the first date.
So, rather than waste my time and money wining and dining women who weren’t going to get it on with me, I decided to only allow women to date me if they would come over to my place for a first date or if I went to their place for a first date.
Quite simply, the first date is about coming over and hanging out while I cook up a dinner and we drink a glass of wine together (I would say a glass, but the bottle would always get finished).
If I was cooking, then I would ask the woman to bring over the wine and if she was cooking, then I would bring the booze.
BTW: I’m speaking in past tense, because I am now in a committed relationship with a hottie, so I don’t need to go on dates anymore.
Sometimes, women didn’t want to cook dinner at my apartment, so the alternative strategy would simply be to say, “Okay cool, let’s meet at my apartment and we will then go for a walk to the nearby cafes and chill out for a hour or so to get to know each other. If we hate each other, you have an easy way to exit and say that you never, ever want to see me again.”
That would always get a laugh and after enjoying a funny, interesting, sexually arousing date at a coffeeshop, the woman would almost always be eager to come back and “hang out” at my place, which then lead to sex on the first night.
Essentially, to get a woman in bed on the first date, what you need to do is build up her sexual attraction for you, create some sexual tension and then when you do kiss her, make sure that you get her feeling aroused and turned on.
For example: Having a slower, passionate kiss rather than attacking her mouth with an overly-enthusiastic kiss.
When a woman sees that you can go from laughing and having a good time with her in your apartment or house, to calming your emotions down and giving her a slow, passionate kiss; it signals to her that sex with you would be interesting, which then turns her on.
Don’t Expect Her to Lead You
A very small percentage of women will be the aggressor and kiss you first and then essentially tell you that they want to have sex right now.
However, for the most part, a woman will want be lead by you and seduced into having sex, rather than actively asking for it or leading the way to make it happen.
The main reasons why most women wait to be sexually seduced by men, rather than making all the moves themselves:
1. They want to see how confident a guy really is.
The most important trait that women look for in a man is confidence. A great way to test a guy’s confidence is to see how he handles himself around an attractive woman.
From a woman’s perspective, if a man doesn’t have the confidence to make a move and go after what he wants with a woman who likes him, then she will naturally doubt his ability to go after what he wants in the world in general.
Her instincts will tell her that he is potentially the type of guy that will get pushed aside and won’t really achieve much in life, because he doesn’t have the social confidence to stand up for himself and go after what he wants.
So, even if a woman really likes you and wants to have sex with you, she will usually still wait for you to kiss her first and then suggest leaving together, rather than give you a “free pass” and guide you through the sexual seduction process herself.
She wants to see that you have the confidence to seduce her on your own and that you don’t need her to be gentle with you and guide you through the process.
2. They don’t want to look too easy.
From a woman’s perspective, if she doesn’t show any resistance to the idea of having sex with you, then she’s in danger of looking too easy and therefore a less appealing option for a committed relationship.
She will have most-likely been brought up to believe that nice girls don’t have one night stands or sex on a first date, so no matter how much she wants to have sex with you, she knows that she has to show resistance to demonstrate that she’s a good girl.
Here’s the thing…
A woman saying “No” at certain points doesn’t always mean, “No, I don’t want to have sex with you at all.”
Instead, it can often mean, “No, I don’t want to be seen as easy, so I’m going to have to resist you for a little while longer.”
So, if you are talking to a woman who is clearly attracted to you and is resisting the idea of kissing you or having sex, it often just means that she’s trying to maintain a certain image in your eyes.
If you sleep with a lot of women on the first night, you will find that almost all of them say things like, “I’ve never done this before” or “Wow, I’m never like this” just before you have sex.
This is simply a woman’s way to trying to assure you that if you get into a relationship with her, you will be able to trust her to control herself and not be seduced by other guys.
Personally speaking, about 80% of the women I’ve slept with on the first night or first date said that kind of thing.
Initially, I would say, “Yeah, that’s what every girl says” but after a few times, I realized that it was better to smile and say, “Well, you’re like this with me, aren’t you? I bring out the naughty side in you and I like it.”
The Importance of Attraction
I haven’t really talked a lot about attraction in this post, but I want to point something out here…
A woman will only want to kiss you if she feels enough attraction for you first. The most important skill that you will ever develop to successful with women is your ability to trigger feelings of sexual attraction inside of a woman.
Watch this video to understand how it works…