There’s a fair bit of advice online about “texting your ex back” where you just have to send her some sort of magical text message and she will come running back to you.
Yet, it isn’t true.
One of the reasons why it isn’t true is that according to many scientific and psychological studies, body language and tonality makes up anywhere from 70-90% of communication between two human beings. One study concluded that words only make up 7% of communication, with body language being 55% and tonality contributing 38% to the communication.
So, when you send a text message to your ex girlfriend, fiance or wife, she actually has to guess the state of mind that you’re in. She has to try to interpret what sort of vibe you’d be giving off if you were saying that to her in person. She can’t hear your tonality and she can’t see your body language, so she has to guess.
In most cases, when it comes to getting an ex back, the woman is going to thinking about the guy in a negative light. She will be thinking about him as being needy, insecure or desperate, rather than happy, confident and independent. Based on her current negative perception of her ex, the woman will almost always feel negative emotions towards her ex when he texts.
So, most of the time that she gets a text it will turn her off because she will have an automatic assumption that you are coming from a place of emotional weakness. Women are attracted to the strength in men and turned off by the weakness, so if she gets the sense that you’re feeling insecure, desperate or needy in any way, it actually pushes her further away from you.
The Texting Rule
What I teach is a proven way of getting an ex back that I have developed by helping hundreds of phone coaching clients over the years. When it comes to texting, I have one simple rule that you must follow:
You should only text your ex if the purpose of the text is to get her on the phone to talk to you.
You actually have to get her on a phone call with you so that she can hear your emotional strength via your tonality and how you are talking to her. Women are attracted to the strength in men and turned off by the weakness, so when you get her on the phone, she has to hear and feel your confidence coming through the phone. She has to feel and experience your emotional strength.
On the other hand, if she is picking up insecurity, neediness, desperation or any other emotional weakness that is going to turn her off and push her away from you. So, the process of getting an ex back is really about fixing your issues (e.g. neediness, insecurity, fear of commitment, fear of true love, etc) and improving yourself first before you actually get in contact with her.
Fixing your issues enough to impress her and get her respect and attraction back doesn’t take long at all. On the Internet, you will find a lot of amateur advice suggesting that you shouldn’t contact her for 30 days or 60 days and during that time, try to recover. It’s really crappy advice because that gives her plenty of time to move on, start having sex with other guys and fall in love.
If she’s already got a new guy, it simply allows her time to get deeper into that relationship and move on without you. What I advise you to do is go through my 10 hour video program (that you can watch online or download after purchase) called Get Your Ex Back: Super System . During the 10 hours of video, I will help you fix your issues and improve yourself right away.
When you finish watching my system, you should be ready to contact her and begin the rapid process of getting her back. Not every guy is ready to contact his ex girlfriend (fiance or wife) by the end of the system. Some guys are extremely needy, extremely desperate and extremely insecure and they may need a couple of days or a bit more time before they are ready to contact her. However, the majority of guys that I’ve helped have been able to contact their ex right away.
The advice that I will provide you with includes text messages that have the sole purpose of getting her on a phone call. It doesn’t matter if she’s currently not answering your text or phone calls. The text message examples that I provide have been tested to ensure that whatever the problem is being you and your ex, no matter how much she hates you or even if she has said to you, “Don’t ever contact me again!” – she will get on that phone call that I suggest you and her have.
Then, on the phone call, you can get her respect and attraction back by using my techniques and conversation examples. There are certain things that you need to say to get her to begin lowering her guard and opening herself up to you and being in love with you again. Then what you need to do is meet up with her in person and get her to feel even more respect and attraction for you (don’t worry – it’s easy).
At the meet up, you also need to make her feel sexually attracted to you again by the way you use your body language, the way you behave and the way you talk to her and look at her. Don’t worry – it’s easy and I will show you exactly how to do it. Without sexual attraction, there is no reason for a woman to want to be in a romantic relationship with a guy. Sexual attraction must be at the foundation of your relationship with her and you really can spark that up again.
Get Your Ex Back: Super System
If you are looking to use a proven process to get your ex back for real, I welcome you to try my program, Get Your Ex Back: Super System
I help new guys to successfully get their ex back every day and I hope to helping you today also.
No matter what time or day of night it is for you, simply purchase my program now and you will have instant access to watch it online or download it to your computer, tablet or phone.
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Hey Dan,
Thanks for the post, as usual you’re on point. It’s pretty relevant to my situation. Here’s the brief summary.
Was with the girl for about three years, she went on a trip abroad and cheated(made out with some dude, allegedly). Girl’s pretty insecure/immature and back then I didn’t realize how I got away from my natural confidence and ability with women. A very painful lesson obviously, but I’ll be way better off for it.
I slept with a good amount of really high quality women after we broke up, and then I moved to another city—where we were originally planning to move after she graduated college. I figured if it’s meant to be between us, it’ll work out. But obviously wasn’t going to put my life on hold to find out.
We didn’t talk much before I moved, texted and met up here and there—I tried to keep things civil, somehow. She was very emotional every time. When I left she texted me a couple days later, saying how sad she was, etc. Since then it’s been a strange back and forth. One day we’ll talk as if we’re still together, the next it’s all serious business and fighting, the next it’s sexting, and so on. She still “needs to be single” and I said go for it, because I’m doing to same damn thing—but what the hell does this girl want/mean when she’s texting me all the while in the process? She said she’s afraid to let go of me, and I told her the same thing because it’s true. But with the recent history, the current set up, and with her still being in school/going out (I did hear she slept with some other dude), I have a hard time figuring out why I shouldn’t.
I’ll be back in a month for the holidays where we’ve floated the idea of meeting up. As far as I can tell I’ve got three moves—sleep with her for old times sake then cut it, sleep with her and try to make something work, or just meet up with her and tell her to just forget about the whole thing because it’s exhausting. Would appreciate any advice.
Cheers
Hey T
Thanks for your positive feedback and question.
Based on your description, it sounds like a case of her wanting time to get over you, but stringing you along in the meantime. She will be actively looking for a replacement guy so she can be final when she says, “It’s over.”
You can get a girl like her back, but it takes you to figure out the REAL reasons why she is breaking up with you or has lost attraction and respect for you. In my program, I explain the 71 reasons why a woman will want to break up with a guy. I obviously can’t sit here and list all those out and explain them in a comment! 🙂 If you go through the program, you will be able identify the real reasons why she is wanting to break up with you. Then, with that knowledge, you can actually fix the right things and make her feel understood and willing to give it another go.
However, if you try to fix things that YOU think are important, but SHE doesn’t, it just won’t work. She will feel as though you don’t understand her or don’t understand how to fix the things about yourself that have been turning her off. Women don’t want to be a guy’s teacher in life. They want a guy who knows how to be a man without her instruction.
If you are serious about getting my help, I welcome you to try my program: http://store.themodernman.com/get_your_ex_back_super_system.html You will learn what you need to fix and you will learn what to say and do when you meet her to get her back for real this time.
Cheers
Dan