My New 'Secret Weapon' For First Dates

Allow your date to lead to love, sex and a relationship...not loneliness, rejection and frustration

The traditional 1-on-1 date is often the best method for most first date situations. However, sometimes it can COMPLETELY RUIN your chances with a woman. To find out why, we'll look at a question I received from Will about getting to the first date.

Question from a reader "Hi Dan I have watched Dating Power several times in full now and I'm currently revising certain bits that I need to work on, and applying them in real life situations. The question I have for you is about the place where I go for coffee, there is a new chick who started there.

And there is a fair bit of flirting, teasing going on and I can tell I have sparked attraction by her signals of interest (Thanks Stu). I always tease her about forgetting how I like my coffee and even when she gets it right I say "Hmmm are you shore?". Her name is Shelly and me and my friend who works with her have given her the name of The Shelminator.

Anyway what I want to know is in The Flow you talk about woman trying to impress you . Now if you have achieved that sort of dynamic will she say she is trying to impress you? To put that in a situation, I went in there today and she got my coffee right. I said "Spot on, wow...well you're doing well...your starting to grow on me" to which she replied "Are you impressed?" Will, AUS"

Response from Dan Hi Will... The Shelminator - I love it! Giving a woman a nickname is one of the best flirting tips for guys around. It almost NEVER fails at getting a laugh and creating some 'private sexual tension' between you and a woman.

I also love the way you've been teasing her about not getting your coffee order correct. Just make sure you don't wear the joke too thin (as long as she's still laughing at it and enjoys the joke, then it probably hasn't worn thin).

Onto your question...

You're wondering if a woman will ever SAY if she's trying to impress you. The short answer is: Almost never. The longer answer is: Although women LOVE being in a position where they have to impress a guy to date him (or stay in a relationship with him), they will usually never SAY it.

Some women will say those kinds of things as a relationship progresses. However, you shouldn't be waiting for women to tell you that they like you initially...as it will rarely happen. (See: How to tell if a woman likes you here) Your comment of "...you're starting to grow on me" is a PERFECT EXAMPLE of the Dating Power mindset.

You're flipping the situation, so it is her who is chasing you and hoping you like her. But, there's just one problem... By the sound of it, you really do like this woman and she has already 'grown on you', but you are too afraid to take it to the next level. While you're approaching it correctly by not eagerly trying to pick her up, if you actually like this woman and want to date her, then you need to MOVE IT FORWARD.

If you don't move it forward, 99% of the time the woman won't either, because she KNOWS it's the man's role to do so...and she also PREFERS it that way. It sounds to me like you're waiting for her to make it REALLY obvious that she likes you. In fact, as per your message, you're actually hoping that she SAYS it.

After watching Dating Power, you now know how to read a woman's signals of interest. One of the signals in your case is that she is playing along with your little teasing game. If she didn't like you, she'd just ignore it or give you an unimpressed look when you attempted the joke again. It sounds like this woman likes you. The next step is to MOVE IT FORWARD.

If you're worried about stuffing things up because your friend works there and you enjoy going to that coffee shop for coffee, then organize what I call a HALF DATE. I've used it many times as it's my new 'secret weapon' for first dates. After having continued success with it, I've decided to reveal it right here and now.

A HALF DATE is where you invite a woman out to a bar or party where you and some friends (or even one other friend) will be at ANYWAY. The Half Date gets rid of the traditional pressure that comes along with a 'first date' and turns it from being a 'formal' or 'serious' event where it's just you and her into something more easy going and relaxed.

This is particularly effective if you think a woman may say no to your offer, is not fully interested yet, or when you haven't spent that much time around each other before the date. On another note...

The Half Date is perfect for your situation Will, because it sounds like you don't have much of an 'exclusive vibe' going on between you and this woman. If you 'ask her out' on a traditional date and don't really have much going on between you first, you may be rejected. I say this about your situation because you said, "...Her name is Shelly and me and my friend who works with her have given her the name of The Shelminator."

To me, that could actually mean that your friend came up with the nickname and you're joining in on the fun. I could say more about that, but I won't. The most important thing is this: If you're reading signals of interest from this woman, then move it forward.

Don't be one of those guys who wastes his life WAITING TO START going after what he wants. Take action and enjoy the great life you deserve with women right now. Otherwise, you'll wake up one day and realize that most of your life was spent WAITING TO START living.

You'll realize that, amongst all the tedious tasks of everyday life - you never did get around to being who you really want to be. Don't let that happen to you.

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	Article by Dan Bacon. Founder and lead dating coach for TheModernMan.com
	Dan Bacon's Google profile. Photos and useful links.