There are many different things that women need from men in a relationship, but some of the most important things are:
- To be able to look up to him and respect him as her man.
- To feel loved and appreciated.
- To feel accepted for who she is deep down inside.
- To feel supported.
- To feel like she’s beautiful in his eyes.
- To feel that the love between her and her man is growing stronger and deeper over time.
- To feel safe knowing that her man is guiding them both to a better future.
- To grow together as a couple, rather than one person improving and getting better while the other one stays the same.
- To be going in the same direction (e.g. having the same dreams, goals, plans for the future).
- To be able to trust him (and him to trust her).
- To be able to relax into her feminine self knowing that he’s the man and he is the one wearing the pants in the relationship.
- To have open communication without needing to hide things from each other.
- To be able to laugh and have fun together.
- To be made to feel special once on a while (e.g. by being treated to a special dinner, going away on a vacation together)
- To feel heard and valued.
As you can see from the list above, what she really needs is for you be someone that she can rely on, look up to and remain happy to be in love with.
The main thing to remember is that, as long as you are guiding both you and her into deeper feelings of respect, attraction and love over time, everything else on the list above will happen naturally.
Essentially, what women need from men in a relationship is to feel that she can respect him and look up to him. When a woman feels respect for her man, attraction will follow and will then grow into love.
The more he maintains and grows her respect and attraction for him over time, the more intense the love she will feel, and the stronger and more long-lasting their relationship will be.
Are You Giving Your Woman What She Needs in Your Relationship?
There is no greater feeling in the world than the thrill that you experience at the beginning of a relationship.
Everything feels exciting and new, and in your eyes your woman can do no wrong, and she thinks you’re perfect.
However, once the dust has settled, it’s up to you as the man to take the relationship from the fantasy, everything-is-so-perfect stage, and lead both of you to a deeper, more enduring love and attraction.
To do that you need to make sure that you’re not making any of these mistakes…
1. Not making her feel important enough to you
Life happens, and one of the first things to suffer when the pressure of work, bills, family, etc., gets too much, is a couple’s relationship.
For example: If paying the bills is a financial strain in a relationship, it’s only normal for a guy to want to work harder to provide for his woman.
This might involve him taking on extra work, working longer hours, or even bringing work home.
In his eyes he is making sure that he is taking care of his woman and family, so that they will have a better future together.
However, from the woman’s point of view, she feels that he’s putting work before her, and she begins to feel neglected, unloved and like everything else is more important to him than she is.
It’s perfectly okay to want to provide for your woman so that you will have a better future together, but if you fail to notice that she is feeling unhappy, there will be no future together.
No matter how busy you get, or how important other things are in your life, if you want to have a long and happy relationship, you have to make sure that you put your woman’s needs first in your life.
That doesn’t mean you sacrifice yourself to please her. It simply means that you take her feelings into consideration and do what is necessary to make her feel the way she wants to feel in the relationship with you (i.e. loved, appreciated, heard).
2. Losing your identity in the relationship
Being happy in a relationship is mostly about balance.
For example: While being together and doing things together is of paramount importance and can make the relationship stronger, living in each other’s pockets will have the opposite effect.
Quite often, when a guy who has little experience with women and relationships gets himself a girlfriend, he feels so lucky to have her that he’s prepared to do anything to keep her happy. This is when he makes the mistake of thinking, “If a little is good, then more must be better.”
For example: A guy like this will start thinking, if spending a little time together is so great, then spending all their time together will be even better.
However, that’s not the case at all.
Although women love it when you give them genuine affection, attention and love, most women (not all), don’t like it when their guy makes her his sole focus in life to the point where she feels smothered rather than happy.
A guy who makes this mistake may stop hanging out with his friends, or may give up his hobbies, so that he can spend a lot more time with her.
He may also run all her errands for her, help her out with work or homework assignments, spoil her with gifts and expensive dinners, and will often tell her things like, “I love you so much. You’re the most important person in my life. Without you my life would be meaningless,” or, “You make me so happy. I just can’t get enough of you. I want to be with you night and day.”
Sounds romantic, right? Not really.
Naturally, there are some women in the world who love the idea of being with a man who puts her on a pedestal and spends his life catering to her every whim, but that’s not the kind of relationship dynamic that will make for a lasting relationship.
Eventually, either she will get tired of being with a guy whom she can dominate, or, he will realize that he’s always giving but she’s never giving back and the resentment between them will begin to grow.
Most women know this and they want to be in a relationship with a man who loves her as much as she loves him. She wants to know that although he gives her the love, time and emotional support that she needs, he also:
- Has more going on in his life than just her.
- Is someone she can look up to, respect and trust to be the man all the time.
- Is striving to reach his true potential as a man.
- Has his own purpose, direction and goals in life.
- Is someone she can depend on to help guide them both to a better life together.
- Loves, respects, values and supports both her and her goals and ambitions in life.
So, contrary to what you might have heard growing up, or seen on TV and at the movies, real women don’t want a man to give everything up for her.
Quite the opposite in fact. When a woman truly loves her man, she wants him to strive through the levels of life and reach for his true potential.
3. Not making her feel attracted in your presence
Before your woman even met you, she spent a lot of time making herself look attractive (e.g. by dressing in sexy, revealing clothes, wearing makeup, doing her hair) to attract the type of man who would not only appreciate her efforts, but would also take the time to make her feel even more attractive and sexy in his eyes.
That man is you.
Essentially, even though a woman might be very beautiful, deep down, most women feel insecure about their attractiveness to men.
So, it’s up to the man, to continue making her feel as though she’s as sexy as the day he first met her (even if she’s put on a bit of weight, is dressing in frumpy clothes, is getting wrinkles).
If he, as her man, cannot see her as being beautiful and sexy, and stops doing all the things that made her feel attracted at the beginning of their relationship (e.g. flirting with her, having sex often, showing her affection by touching and kissing her in passing), she will begin to feel unattractive and unloved.
When this happens, she will naturally begin to pull away from him and the relationship, and eventually they will be living in a sad, unhappy, sexless relationship; or she will break up with him.
However, when you really love your woman and she loves you, no matter how you both change over time physically (e.g. get older, get grey hair, put on weight), the deep love and attraction you feel for each other will only grow stronger with the passing of time.
For example: When you look at your woman’s grey hair, instead of seeing a woman who is getting older, you can choose to see the woman who has been with you through the good times and the bad times.
The more you can do this, the more loved and attractive she will feel and she will do whatever it takes to please you.
A long as you continue to guide both you and her into deeper feelings of love, respect and attraction over time, the more she will feel that her needs are being met, and the better your relationship will be.
She Needs You to Lead
No, that doesn’t mean that what women need from men in a relationship is for a man to boss them around.
It also doesn’t mean that you have to do all the work.
It simply means that a woman wants to know that she can relax into her feminine self, knowing that her man has things handled and is leading the way for them both to a better future.
Leading the way includes getting her to do a lot of things for you too.
For example: In my case, my wife has quit her job and stays home to cook and clean for me. She also takes care of all the bills and runs errands for me.
She does a lot of work, even though I am leading.
So, don’t confuse “being the leader” with, “Damn…now I have work harder, do everything, boss her around” and so on.
If your woman respects you and looks up to you as her man, she will be happy to be a good woman for you. Often, that includes doing a lot of things for you.
Of course, I treat my wife well too. It’s not just one-sided.
As long as you keep maintaining the respect, love and attraction you and your woman feel for each other, you will both feel fulfilled, and you will experience that deep, enduring love that you hear about from couples who have been married for 50 years or more.