If you have a chance to talk to your ex girlfriend, make sure you do it in a way that attracts her.
If she feels attracted, she will naturally want you back.
If she feels turned off or doesn’t feel much for you at all, then she’ll want to continue on with the breakup.
So, to ensure that you attract her the next time you talk, be sure to avoid the following mistakes:
1. Talking to her in a neutral way because you assume it would be wrong to flirt with her
A mistake that a lot of guys make, is assuming that if they flirt with their ex girlfriend, she will get upset and refuse to talk to him or agree to hang out with him again.
Yet, here’s what guys like that don’t realize…
If you pretend that you’re not interested in your ex in a sexual and romantic way anymore and just talk to her in a neutral, non-sexual way, she will likely start thinking things like, “Clearly the spark we once had has died and all we can do is pretend we want to be around each other, even though we don’t. Yet, that’s just a waste of my time. I don’t need to stick around with an ex just because we used to be a couple once.”
She will then close herself off and possibly even refuse to interact with you anymore, because from her point of view it’s pointless to do so, seeing as there’s no chance of you and her getting back together again.
She will then almost certainly open herself up to meeting new guys, having sex and falling in love again with someone else.
So, if you don’t want that to happen, make sure you don’t talk to your ex girlfriend in a neutral way and expect her to feel attracted and interested in you again in a sexual and romantic way.
For her to feel that way about you again (i.e. attracted), you need to flirt with her and re-spark her feelings of respect and sexual attraction for you.
Only then will she be open to talking to you over the phone, meeting up with you in person and working on the relationship so that you and her can get back together again.
2. Trying too hard to seem cool, which ends up making you seem a bit desperate
Sometimes a guy might try to sound like he’s really cool when talking to his ex woman.
For example: He might call his ex on the phone and say something along the lines of, “Hey pretty lady. How have you been? I thought I’d give you a call and make your day.”
Essentially, he’s hoping that she’ll think something like, “Wow, he sounds so cool and confident all of a sudden. It’s just so sexy. I’m so glad he called me. I hope he’s going to ask me to meet up with him.”
Yet, in most cases, because a woman can’t see a guy’s body language, or gauge his state of mind over the phone, she will usually be rolling her eyes and thinking, “Oh boy! That sounds so lame! I can’t believe he’s acting like Mr. Cool with me. How desperate is he anyway?”
She will then respond by laughing at him mockingly, leaving him feeling dejected because his seemingly cool conversation starter didn’t give him the results he was hoping for (i.e. for his ex to be impressed with him and want to see him in person).
Here’s the thing…
If your ex gets the sense that you’re trying hard to seem cool and confident to hopefully get her back, she will feel turned off by what she interprets as your insecurity and desperation.
So, if you want to ensure your chances of getting your ex back, don’t put on an act with her.
The most effective way to make her feel drawn to you again in a good way and want to talk to you over the phone and see you in person, is to show her via the way you act, think, behave and interact with her that you’re a new and improved man now (e.g. confident, emotionally masculine, more of a challenge).
When she experiences the new you for herself, she will automatically perceive you as being cooler than ever before.
She then wants to be around you more and you can then build on her feelings of respect and attraction for you and get her back.
The next conversation mistake to avoid making if you want to get your ex girlfriend back is…
3. Losing confidence if she doesn’t initially seem impressed by your conversation starter or anything else you try
For a woman to want to give her ex guy another chance, she needs to feel that she is going to be gaining something (i.e. getting back with a man that she can now look up to, respect, feel proud of and love) rather than like she’s settling for him and doing him a favor.
So, to test her ex man, a woman will sometimes pretend that she’s not very impressed with what he says or does.
Essentially, she wants to see if he will remain confident and self-assured or become insecure and unsure of himself around her.
Will he give up and walk away, or will he continue to pursue her until he gets her back?
If a guy loses confidence in himself and starts thinking that he doesn’t have a chance with her anymore, it will begin to show in the way that he talks, thinks and behaves around his ex and other women (e.g. he doesn’t maintain eye contact, he says negative things about himself, he seems nervous and unsure of himself).
He then naturally becomes unattractive to her, because he’s failed her confidence test.
Then, rather than open back up to him and the idea of being his girl again, she instead feels that she made the right decision by breaking up with him.
She then rejects him again, which only makes him feel even less confident in himself and in his value and attractiveness to her (and to other women).
Don’t put yourself through that.
Believe in yourself and in your attractiveness to her.
Even if she doesn’t initially show it, believe that it’s there.
When you do that, she will naturally respond to you with feelings of respect and attraction.
Her guard will come down and she will start to feel open to getting back together with you.
4. Only trying to talk to her via text and then losing her
Texting is very popular in today’s world and is one of the most preferred methods of communication between people.
Yet, even though texting is fine to open the lines of communication with your ex, sticking to text only and not getting to a call and then a meetup is a mistake that can cause you to lose her.
Here’s the thing…
If a woman gets the impression that her ex doesn’t have the courage or motivation to call or meet up with her and instead he just wants to hide behind the safety of text messages, she will almost certainly start to lose interest in interacting with him.
Initially, she may continue to text back and forth with him for a little while.
However, in the background, she will likely be looking to find herself a new man as quickly as possible (e.g. by going out to clubs, bars and parties with her single friends, accepting dates from guys who have been interested in her all along, joining a dating site or going on an app like Tinder).
Then, when she finds a new man, she will either start responding to her ex less and less until she fades out of his life completely, or she might text him and say something like, “Look, there’s something I need to tell you. I’ve met someone else and we’re in a relationship together, so I don’t think it’s appropriate for me to text you anymore. I hope you understand. Bye.”
He’s then left feeling devastated and wondering what went wrong.
The answer is: He didn’t get her on a phone call and then to a meetup so that he could fully reactivate her sexual and romantic feelings for him.
As a result, she lost interest.
So, if you don’t want that to happen to you, make sure that after an initial couple of texts, you quickly progress to a call and then a meetup so that you can get your ex girlfriend back.
The next conversation mistake to avoid making if you want to get your ex girlfriend back is…
5. Starting the conversation off well, but then turning her off by getting into an exhausting conversation about the relationship
No matter how great the conversation starter you use on your ex girlfriend is, if you start talking about getting her back before you fully reactivate her feelings for you, she’s almost certainly going to close herself off from you.
Then, getting her to open back up and give you another chance becomes so much more difficult for you.
Remember: The time will definitely come when you and your ex girlfriend will get into a deep, meaningful conversation about the relationship.
However, the first time you interact with her, be it via text, on a phone call, or at a meetup, usually isn’t the right time.
That comes later when she’s feeling re-attracted and open to being your girl again, so she wants to talk about the relationship to see how you and her can make it work.
So, if you don’t want your ex girlfriend to instantly close herself off to you, don’t bring up the relationship with her.
Instead, focus on making her smile, laugh and feel good to be around you again.
The more relaxed and happy she’s around you, the less negative her perception of you becomes.
She then naturally begins to open back up to you and the possibility of being in a relationship again.
6. Assuming that you need to give her a lot of time to warm back up to you
If you truly believe that your ex is the right woman for you, then one of the best decisions you will ever make is to focus on getting her back right away.
When you adjust your approach to attraction with her and she starts to feel a renewed sense of respect, attraction and love for you, she will naturally open herself up to the possibility of you and her being a couple again.
However, if you waste a lot of time taking things slow, she may eventually lose interest and look to find herself a new man instead.
Remember: The important thing is that you use every opportunity to create feelings of sexual and romantic attraction inside of her so she wants to get back right away.
So, take control of the situation in a confident, manly and emotionally mature way and get her back.
Don’t wait for one day.
Instead, make it happen today.
Get her back and enjoy the good times ahead.
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