Here are 8 things that you can do to change the way your ex currently feels about you…

1. Make Her Laugh and Smile, Especially When She’s Being Cold Towards You

Sometimes a woman will make it difficult for her ex to interact with her after a break up, by being cold and distant towards him.

For example: A guy calls his ex on the phone and she says something like, “What do you want?” or “Why are you calling me? Have you forgotten that we’ve broken up? We have nothing to talk about.”

Naturally, a guy might feel upset and even a little bit dejected if his ex is treating him in that, so he may think, “This is it. There’s no hope of getting her to change her mind about me now. I’ll never get her back.”

The good news is that you can change how she feels.

One of the best ways to do that is to focus on making her laugh and smile every time you interact with her.

Watch this video for some examples…

When you make a woman laugh and smile, you are helping her to get over the pain, anger and resentment that she feels towards you.

Even if she tries to fight it, she can’t help but relax, open up and want to interact with you more.

The more she interacts with you, the more she likes how things feel between you and her now and she becomes open to getting back with you again.

So, rather than spending a lot of time trying to convince her to give you another chance and feeling put off by her coldness, just use every interaction you have with her (e.g. on a phone call, in person) to replace her negative perception of you with new, happy memories, by making her laugh and smile.

She then drops her guard and becomes open to seeing you in a more positive light again.

2. Become Emotionally Stronger

Become emotionally stronger

In a relationship, a woman wants to know that her man is emotionally strong enough to handle whatever life throws at him.

Regardless of whether he has lost his job, is going through a tough time with family, or has been broken up with, she wants to know that he will remain confident, emotionally strong and calm under pressure.

If he can do that, she will naturally feel a profound respect and attraction for him as a man.

By the way…

This is why women will always test your confidence in a relationship by randomly throwing a tantrum, saying “No” to your requests or being demanding.

A woman wants to see that you don’t crumble under her pressure and are one of the rare guys who can always remain confident, calm and in control no matter what life throws at you.

So, when a guy becomes insecure, anxious, loses his confidence and gives up hope if he is facing a tough situation or challenge, she will perceive him as being emotionally weak and her respect and attraction for him will begin to fade.

She may then begin to wonder if she’s gotten herself involved with a wimpy guy who isn’t ever going to be emotionally strong enough for a woman like her.

Deep down, she feels the need to be with a guy who will remain emotionally strong and in control because she doesn’t want to have to be the strong one in the relationship.

She wants to be a man’s girl, even though she might not ever openly admit that or even fully realize it herself until it happens.

Yet, if a guy is emotionally weak, she will know that something just doesn’t feel right to her and she will want out.

So, when you’re interacting with your ex, you can show her that you are emotionally stronger than her now.

That doesn’t mean you treat her badly and act tough or tell her that you’re emotionally strong now.

It simply means that you remain confident, calm and in control no matter what she says or does, or how much she tries to throw you off.

When you can do that, she will feel attracted to you whether she likes it or not.

She may act like it’s not having an affect on her initially, but she won’t be able to hide her change in feelings for you for too long.

All of a sudden, she will text you, call you or just be much more open to reply to your texts, answering your calls and meeting up with you in person.

Another way that you can make your ex see you in a more positive light is to…

3. Make Progress in Areas of Your Life That Have Been Lacking

A real man is clear on his purpose in life

Sometimes, a guy might get so involved in his relationship with a woman, that he will begin neglecting other areas in his life.

He stops caring about the world and what he always wanted to be and do, just so he can spend more and more time with her.

Eventually, he becomes a very typical guy who from his dreams behind the safety and comfort of a relationship with a woman.

Does this sound like you?

Don’t worry about it if you made that mistake – most guys do.

Besides, that was the old you.

The new you can start making your big goals and dreams become a reality.

You can start making progress and becoming the man you know you can and really should be in life.

You know that you’re better than you who you are right now.

You know that there are things that you’ve been putting off because of your relationship with her, or because of a fear of failure…

For example: Ask yourself…

What is my purpose in life?

Every man needs a big, long-term purpose (or ambition) that he’s working towards achieving in life.

If you’ve neglected your purpose or still don’t have one, now is the time to start.

You don’t have to achieve all your goals to make your ex begin to see you in a more positive light.

Instead, you just have to make some progress so that she can see that the changes in you are for real.

Another question to ask yourself is…

What are the things I’ve always wanted to do, but have been putting off because of my focus on her?

Now is the time to do all things you have been putting off because you didn’t want to leave your ex behind (e.g. go back to university and improve your education, start your own business, join up a martial arts class, develop a new skill, learn something new, go on an adventure, make some new friends, follow through on a goal you set a long time ago, but forgot all about).

Have I been holding myself back from becoming a better man?

Every man can always improve himself in some way.

In many cases, a man who has been dumped by a woman will usually need to improve his ability to attract women, keep a relationship together and maintain a more balance lifestyle.

How about you?

What are some things that you could really improve about yourself to become an even better man than you are today?

Have I allowed myself to become a lonely guy?

Did you neglect your friends because of your relationship with your ex?

You now have the opportunity to renew your old friendships or pursue new ones.

You could join in on some group activities in your area (e.g. group exercise, martial arts, hobby groups, meet ups) and instantly make a bunch of new friends.

By answering the above questions, you will likely realize that breaking up with your woman is actually a great opportunity for you to quickly become a better man before you get her back.

When you do that, not only will you be happy and fulfilled (regardless of whether you’re in a relationship or not), but you will actually also become more attractive to your ex.

Women are naturally attracted to a man who is emotionally independent, mature and knows what he wants in his life.

Women love it when a man enjoys life with or without the reassurance, support or encouragement of his existing or ex woman.

It allows a woman to “go along for the ride” so to speak, rather than having to be the stronger one who is always leading the way and keeping their spirits up when in a relationship.

Important: Don’t spend any more than a week making improvements to yourself before you get her back.


Watch this video…

If you give her too much time away from you, a woman will usually just move on if she doesn’t have strong feelings for you.

So, make some improvements and get ready to interact with her.

When you interact with her and she experiences the new you, she will begin thinking, “He has really changed. He’s become a mover and shaker in life. He’s so confident, driven and emotionally strong now. I like the new him,” and she then opens herself up to the idea of getting back together again.

Another way to change how your ex sees you is to…

4. Get Her to Forgive You, So She No Longer Looks at You as Being the Old Version of You

To make your ex begin to see you in a more positive light, you have to get her to forgive you for real.

For example: You might say something like, “I now understand why you broke up with me. I made some mistakes and I’m truly sorry for hurting you in the process. It was silly and immature of me to behave like that. I’m definitely not that guy anymore. I don’t expect you to believe me right away, but I know that if you can forgive me, you’ll actually feel better about yourself. You’ll have less baggage to carry around with you in the future if you honestly forgive me. If you don’t, you will probably end up not fully trusting other guys in future, which won’t be good for you. So, can you forgive me? Can you let the past go, so we can both move forward in a mature, positive way, rather than holding onto old negativity and grudges from the past? I’m not asking you to take me back, I just want you to forgive me so that we be friends and leave what happened behind us.”

If you can get her to the point where she really does forgive you, it makes her drop her guard and allows her to see you in a more positive light.

She stops seeing the old version of you and starts to look at you as being the new version of you.

When that happens, she allows herself to look at your positive qualities and feel respect, attraction and love for that, rather than just focusing on the things about you that caused her to break up with you.

This allows her to open back up to the idea of being with you, because you’re no longer the same guy she broke up with.

Another way to change how your ex feels is to…

5. Allow Her to Look Up to You and Respect You, Rather Than Trying to Make Her Pity You

Sometimes, a guy might try to make his ex feel pity for him based on the pain he is going through as a result of being dumped.

He hopes that she will feel sorry for him and then agree to give him another chance to get rid of the guilt she is feeling.

Yet, in most cases, a tactic like that usually just turns a woman off even more.

She will think, “I can’t believe that he’s trying to blackmail me with a guilt trip. Does he really think I’m going to get back with him just because I feel sorry for him?”

She will then look at her ex as being emotionally weak, insecure and lost without her, which are all traits that turn women off about men.

All of a sudden, she will find other guys more attractive even if they are just a slightly more confident than her ex.

She will then usually hook up with a guy who is really confident and sure of himself, to experience the complete contrast of attraction compared to what she had with her ex.

If her ex isn’t able to snap out of his “pity me” approach, she just won’t be able to feel enough attraction for him to be motivated to want to give him another chance.


A woman wants to be with a man because it feels right, not because she’s doing him a favor.

So, if you want to make your ex begin to see you in a more positive light, avoid playing the pity card and focus instead on making her look up to you and respect you as a man.

Another way to change how your ex feels is to…

6. Stop Trying to Convince Her to Give You Another Chance and Start Making Her Feel Like She Wants to

One of the most common reactions that guys have when they get broken up with is to try to convince their ex to give them another chance.

Watch this video to understand why it doesn’t work on most women…

For example: A guy might say things like, “After everything we shared, the least we can do now is try to work things out between us. Don’t just throw away what we had. Please…just give me one more chance.”

A guy might also say something like, “Babe…you are my whole world. I’m prepared to do anything to make you happy. Do you really think you will be able to find another guy who feel the same way about you as I do? I love you more than anything. Please forgive me. I promise that I will make it up to you.”

Yet, a woman rarely becomes convinced to change her mind based on explanations, especially when the guy is being desperate and panicking as he tries to get her back.

So, what should he do instead?

Starts making her feel the way she wants to feel when she’s with him (e.g. respectful, excited, attracted, like a real woman).

It has to be about how she feels, not about how much you want her or need her.

If she has broken up with you, then she cares about her feelings right now and isn’t going to be too worried about how you’re feeling.

So, if you want to make your ex begin to see you in a more positive light, don’t waste time trying to convince her with mere words.

Instead, focus on rebuilding her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you by showing her (via the way you think, talk, behave and interact with her) that you are a new man now.

The more respect and attraction she feels for you, the more she will be convinced that giving you another chance is actually a good idea and will be fun, interesting and enjoyable for her.

Another way to change how she feels is to…

7. Improve Your Ability to Attract Her During Interactions

Improve your ability to attract her during interactions

To make your ex see you in a more positive light, you need to improve your ability to attract her during interactions (i.e. whether it’s via text, on social media, e-mail, on a phone call, or in person) and show her that you really have changed.

A mistake that guys often make is to use low success rate ex back tricks like the No Contact Rule (i.e. ignoring a woman for 30 to 60 days after a break up) as a way of attracting her back.

A guy might think, “If I ignore her, she might start missing me. Then, when we interact again, she will feel attracted to me because she will have realized how much she loves me and how bad she felt without me.”

Yet, it rarely plays out that way with ex back cases where a woman has little to no feelings for her guy anymore.

If a woman is still in love with her ex and wants him back, then yes, ignoring her might make her feel more attracted to him when he finally gets in touch with her after a long silence.

However, in most cases, when a woman just doesn’t have enough feelings for her ex to care that he is ignoring her and she simply moves on.

Another mistake that a lot of guys make when attempting to re-attract their ex woman is to focus on their physical appearance.

A guy will spend a lot of time and effort trying to impress his ex with superficial things like new clothes, change in body shape (e.g. lose or add on some weight, build some muscles) or a new hair style.

However, a woman’s attraction to a man’s physical appearance isn’t as powerful as her emotional attraction to him (i.e. the way she feels when she is around him, based on how he thinks, talks, feels, behaves and reacts to her).

How a guy makes a woman feel when he interacts with her is what matters the most to her levels of attraction.

For example, when they are talking on the phone or in person:

  • Is she feeling turned on, or is she feeling turned off?
  • Is she feeling happy, or anxious, bored or annoyed?
  • Is she feeling like she can look up to him and respect him, or does she look down on him?
  • Is she feeling feminine and girly, or does she feel neutral, or worse, like a big sister around him?

That’s what really matters to a woman.

So, if you’re serious about getting your ex back, make some attractive changes and improvements to the way that you interact with her, rather than wasting time trying to re-attract her with superficial changes to your physical appearance.

Finally, another way to change how your ex feels is to…

8. Let Her See That You Love Her and Want Her Back, But Don’t Desperately Need Her Back For Your Emotional Security and Stability

Show her that you want her back, but don't need her back

To make your ex begin to see you in a more positive light, you need to let her see that even though you do still love her and want her back, you don’t actually need her back to feel emotionally secure and happy again.

Essentially, you have to get to the point in your life where you honestly feel that you will be happy and fulfilled with, or without her.

Yes, you want her back but you don’t need her back.

Then, when you interact with your ex again (e.g. on a phone call, or in person) and she senses that you are confident and happy and getting on with your life without her, she begins to see you in a more positive light.

She begins to feel respect for the man you have become and she starts to think, “I never imagined that he could be so mature and emotionally strong. I thought he’d become a wreck without me, but he’s actually better than he was before. I really respect the way he’s made an effort to improve himself as a man. That takes balls. I can see myself falling in love with him again.”

She then stops thinking about you in a negative way and opens herself up to the possibility of finding true love in your arms once again.

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