Here 8 common reasons why a woman will change her behavior, attitude or treatment of her ex boyfriend, once she meets a new guy:
1. She was only being nice to make you continue being nice to her, long enough to allow her to move on before you did
Although some women have no problem ending a relationship on a bad note and never speaking to their boyfriend again, a lot of women find it difficult to be mean to their boyfriend after a break up (e.g. because she’s a nice person, she doesn’t want to hurt his feelings, she doesn’t want him hating her, she doesn’t want to make him angry, she tries to avoid confrontations as much as possible, she still loves him, but knows that they need to break up).
So, rather than just telling her ex that it’s over and saying that she never wants to speak to him again, she might be sweet, nice and friendly towards him after the break up.
This can give her ex boyfriend the impression that things are still cool between them and he might still have a chance with her.
Yet, there’s often a darker side to her niceness that will end up causing him a lot of pain in the end.
For example: Sometimes, a woman will be nice to her ex boyfriend after a break up to buy herself some time.
She wants to move on before he does, so she can feel better about herself knowing that he still wants her, but she’s got a new guy.
That way, she won’t have to be the one being left behind, feeling rejected and abandoned.
Then, when she meets a new guy and starts dating him, she can stop being so nice to her ex boyfriend because she doesn’t need him anymore.
She’s won the game she was playing on him.
It’s pretty nasty, but as they say, “All is fair in love and war.”
In other words, “Do what you have to do to get the love you want, or to survive a break up and come out better on the other side.”
As they also say, “Love hurts.”
It does and I’m sure you know that by now.
She hurt you.
Yet, here’s the thing…
It’s not over between you and her.
Just because she has met a new guy, it doesn’t mean that you have no play now, or can’t make any moves.
You can re-attract her, so she begins to miss you and want you back.
I’ll explain how to do that throughout this article.
For now, another reason why your ex girlfriend might have changed when she met a new guy, is…
2. She has been feeling more attracted to him and as a result, feels less motivation to be good to you now
If a woman starts dating a new guy who causes her to have strong feelings for him, versus the milder feelings she has for her ex, she will quickly make up her mind about which man she wants to be with.
After all, women tend to just go with how they feel, so if a woman feels more for another guy and doesn’t feel obligated to remain loyal to another guy (i.e. because she has officially broken up with him), then she will follow her feelings.
As a result, she will look at her ex as really being her ex now and the new guy as potentially being her new boyfriend.
If they start dating, hooking up and she begins to fall in love with him, then she might stop treating her ex as well as she did after the break up.
In some cases, she does that out of respect to her ex because she doesn’t want to lead him on, but other times she does it out of spite (i.e. to intentionally hurt him).
Whatever your ex’s reasons for changing when she met the new guy, the main thing you need to do is maintain your confidence in your attractiveness to her and build up your confidence in your ability to re-attract her.
You then need to interact with her, ideally on a phone call, video call or in person if possible and make her feel attracted to the new and improved you.
When you reactivate her feelings of attraction and make her feel attracted in new and interesting ways (e.g. if you were too nice before, you’re more of a challenge now. If you were too neutral before like a friend, or if you suppressed your masculinity to be more like her, you are now more masculine in your energy, behavior, vibe, conversation style and actions), she will begin to feel confused about her feelings for the new guy.
She will wonder why she is suddenly feeling drawn to you and worrying about you moving on, falling in love with a new woman and potentially losing interest in getting her back.
Another reason why your ex may have changed is that…
3. She’s trying to get you to hate her, so you give up and move on
To avoid having to explain herself (i.e. why she doesn’t want to be friendly anymore now that she’s met a new guy), a woman will usually start behaving weirdly, being cold or even disrespectful in some ways, so her ex boyfriend will hate her and hopefully lose interest in getting her back.
If her ex reacts by getting angry at her, calling her names, insulting her or threatening her in any way, she can make him out to be the problem and say that she never wants to hear from him again.
She can then get on with her new relationship, without feeling bad for leaving him behind.
So, whatever you do, don’t react in an angry way to how she has been treating you lately.
Maintain your cool and maintain your composure.
When you interact with her, simply be the confident, manly, funny, charming guy that she initially fell in love with, so she naturally feels attracted to you, drawn to you and begins to miss you.
Don’t talk to her as though you’re a rejected guy, or an unwanted ex.
Instead, talk to her as though she is a new woman that you’re attracting and picking up and you know that she likes you.
You are a confident, charming, cool and magnetically attractive guy that she wants to be with, but needs a little warming up before she fully opens up to it.
You can achieve that during a 2-5 minute conversation with her on a phone call, video call or in person, as long as you are interacting with her in a way that makes her feel attracted (i.e. being confident rather than self-doubting, being charming rather than tense, being flirtatious at times rather than always being neutral like a friend).
When you cause her to experience new feelings for you, she will realize that you and her aren’t over.
There is still something there and if she doesn’t open up to it, she will probably end up regretting it for the rest of her life.
4. The new guy has made her feel as though he will leave her, if she is still open to you
Some guys feel insecure if the woman they are dating is still good friends with an ex guy, or potentially still flirting with him.
That isn’t going to be attractive to her (i.e. his insecurity), but a woman will usually still want to protect the new relationship she has, especially if she is experiencing strong feelings for the new guy.
So, your ex girlfriend might be willing to give up her friendship with you, rather than losing a chance at a long term relationship with him.
5. She suddenly realized that she doesn’t need you and is now behaving in a self-centered way
Some women don’t like the feeling of being single and alone.
So after a break up, a woman like that will continue being nice to her ex to make him feel like he has a chance with her.
If her ex boyfriend feels like he has a chance, he will usually be nice to a her and make her feel loved and wanted.
She can use that interest from him to stop herself from feeling as lonely or depressed, as she tries to heal and get ready to move on without him.
Then, if she begins to get used to being by herself, realizes that she’s actually doing okay and is even having fun being single, she will stop needing her ex’s support.
Likewise, if she happens to meet a new guy and is feeling loved and wanted by him, she will suddenly stop needing her ex.
As a result, she might be selfish about the whole thing and begin behaving in a self-centered way (e.g. only caring about herself and what she wants, no longer showing an interest in her ex’s life).
6. She worries that if she gives you positive signals, you will step up your efforts to get her back
Many women know that they are easy to seduce and get back into a relationship, or at least hook up with again.
They don’t act easy, but know that they are easy, if a guy plays his cards right.
So, if a woman is trying to avoid getting back into a relationship that will essentially be the same as before (i.e. because her ex hasn’t changed), she will try to discourage him by being cold and distant.
Essentially, she doesn’t want to give him hope that he can get her back, because she knows that it will build his confidence and cause him to behave in ways that will re-attract her.
In some cases, the woman will even go as far as trying to meet new men as quickly as possible, so she has a reason to push her ex away, or a weapon to use to cause him to lose confidence (i.e. that she’s happy with a new guy she has met).
7. She doesn’t want you interfering with her new relationship
If she really does like the new guy, she might want to see where the relationship goes (i.e. Could it lead to her falling in love? Will they become a great couple that eventually gets engaged or married?), rather than continuing to be open to you.
So, she gives you the cold shoulder in the hope that you’ll leave her alone.
Yet, if you leave her alone and don’t re-attract her, weeks, months and then years can go by without you having an opportunity to get her back.
That is why, if your ex girlfriend has met a new guy, you need to interrupt the relationship while you still can.
Interrupting the relationship means that you interact with her and attract her in new, exciting and unexpected ways, so she suddenly becomes confused about who she really likes.
When that happens, she opens up to you and you can guide her through the rest of the ex back process.
8. She’s doing what you would probably do, if you broke up with her and met a new woman that you found attractive
Think about it this way…
If you didn’t want your ex girlfriend back at all, had recently met another high quality woman and begun dating her, would you want to maintain a relationship with your ex?
You might feel as though you’d continue to be nice to her, because you’re a good man who respects her and cares about her.
Yet, what if your new girlfriend kept seeing you messaging her and had a problem with it.
Would you simply not care about your new girlfriend and continue to text with your ex while around her, or would you start to be less chatty via text or no longer want to answer some of her calls?
Essentially, would you change as a result of meeting a new, high quality woman that you were dating, or would you be exactly the same?
The reality is that you’d probably focus on moving on and making a fresh start with your new woman, without the inconvenience of holding on to an ex girl who you no longer have strong feelings for you.
That’s likely what your ex is doing too.
Currently, she doesn’t have strong feelings for you because you haven’t re-attracted her yet.
Avoid These 2 Mistakes if You Want Her Back
1. Assuming that she will come back to you one day, even though she’s no longer attracted to you
Even if things don’t work out with her new guy, she is more likely to move on and find another guy after him, rather than come running back to you.
After all, they could be together for months, or even a year or more and by that time, she might have changed as a person, or you might not even want her back.
Additionally, even if she does feel open to getting back with you after they break up, she might not make that obvious to you.
A lot of women fear that their ex boyfriend will no longer be interested and will reject them, which will cause her to feel like the rejected one.
Alternatively, the ex boyfriend might show some initial interest, hook up with her and then dump her, to get revenge and leave her behind as the rejected one.
So, if a woman does reach out after becoming single again, it will usually only be in a neutral, friendly way, rather than making it obvious that she is open to something happening.
Yet, not all women reach out.
What I’ve found, after helping new men get women back for many years now, is that if a woman didn’t feel enough respect, attraction and love to remain in a relationship with a guy, then she won’t reach out to him and will simply continue to move on, unless he changes how she feels.
He can change how she feels by having the courage to interact with her and attract her in new and interesting ways (e.g. he is more confident now, more of a playful challenge, make her feel the need to impress him, but is still a good guy to her, makes her feel girly in comparison to his masculine energy, vibe, conversation style, behavior and actions).
If he doesn’t have the courage to do that and simply waits, then he will usually be disappointed.
What I’ve seen for many years now, is that the men who get ex women back at the highest rate, are those who have the courage to interact with her, re-attract her and make her want him back.
If you’re not willing to do that, you should prepare yourself to move on instead.
Another mistake to avoid is…
2. Putting your dating life on hold for many months, only to find out that she isn’t coming back and you’ve now lost a lot of confidence
Sometimes, a guy thinks that if he remains faithful and waits for his ex, she will be impressed with his loyalty and be more likely to get back with him if she breaks up with the new guy.
Yet, as he waits for her, a guy will usually begin to lose confidence in his attractiveness to his ex and to other women.
Essentially, at times, he might end up feeling like a bit of reject who is desperately waiting for his ex girlfriend and hoping that she takes pity on him and gives him another chances.
Then, if he does happen to interact with his ex and she picks up on his low self-esteem, neediness or lack of confidence, she won’t feel attracted and as a result, will feel happy with her decision to have broken up with him.
So, while it’s fine to re-attract your ex over the course of 1-3 weeks, if you’re not doing it right and as a result, aren’t making progress, then you need to change your strategy (i.e. start dating to make her jealous) or improve your ability to attract an ex woman.