Millions of couples who were high school sweethearts break up when they are young and then get back together later in life.
You can be one of those couples and get her back.
Here are 5 things you should do to ensure the highest chances of getting her back into a new, sexual, romantic relationship with you:
1. Clean up your social media account before re-adding her or re-approaching her
If you haven’t spoken to her in a long time and you try to add her on Facebook, or reach out to her via email or text, then she is going to want to do a little research on you first, to see what kind of man you are today.
In other words, are you lonely, socially insecure and reaching out to her because you don’t have many people in your life, or are you confident, happy and living a life that she would like to be a part of (i.e. you have friends, or get out and do fun things every now and then)?
That isn’t as important to a man when selecting a woman and in most cases, he’s not concerned if a woman doesn’t have any or many friends or seems lonely and left out, but women do care about that because it can suggest a lot of things about the mental and emotional state of a man.
As you probably know at this point in your life, women feel attracted to men for different reasons that men feel attracted to women (i.e. women feel attracted to a man’s confidence and manliness, whereas most men feel attracted to a woman’s sweetness, softness and femininity).
With that in mind, if you want to get your high school sweetheart back, make sure that you approach the reconciliation in a way that attracts her, rather than repels her, or causes her to put her guard up and not want to experience new feelings for you.
The best way to start the reconciliation is to ensure that you will appear attractive to her via social media, when she checks up on you after you contact her.
So, if your high school sweetheart is already a friend of yours on social media, then spend a couple of weeks getting some photos of you enjoying life with friends, doing things outdoors and looking confident and happy, before you send her a message.
If she isn’t currently a friend of yours, make sure that you update your social media profiles (e.g. Facebook, Instagram) to make you look more attractive and appealing before you contact her again.
It will help your chances and make her feel more attracted to you, if there are no posts or photos of you looking sad, lonely, bored nervous (e.g. sad selfies, you alone in a photo at an event looking a little left out or nervous).
Likewise, if you only have photo of your pet, food at a restaurant when eating alone, landscapes, gardens or buildings, then it’s not going to make her see you as a man who is well liked by other people.
Instead, it is possible that she will assume you are lonely, don’t have much going on in your life and are reaching out to her because of that, which will make her put her guard up and potentially even reject your offer, suggestion or request to catch up in person.
So, what you post on your profile from now should show you looking confident, happy and enjoying time with other people (including female friends or acquaintances if possible) to let her see that you in a more attractive and appealing light.
I’ve been helping new men get women back for many years now and I can tell you from experience that improving your social media profiles before contacting an ex woman, is one of the effective ways to ensure she opens up, is interested and curious to meet up with you.
So, once you’ve updated your social media profile(s), reach out to her.
2. Start off with a friendly message that includes a bit of light flirting as well
For example: You might say something like, “Hey ex girlfriend. Long time no speak! How are you? I just thought I’d get in touch to say hi as a friend. Would love to chat.”
Alternatively, if you can add in some private humor to flirt with her, or an old joke that you and her used to say, then all the better, but keep the initial message brief.
Whatever you do though, don’t make the classic mistake of saying that you still have feelings for her, or haven’t been able to find a woman like her again and so on.
Just keep it briefly, friendly, include some flirting and then let her get back to you.
If she hasn’t heard from you in a long time, she will likely think something like, “Wow, this is unexpected. I wonder what he wants to chat with me about after all this time.”
In almost all cases, she will then go and look at your social media profile to see what you’ve been up to lately (i.e. do you seem lonely, or do you have a fun, interesting looking life?).
When she can see that you’re not lonely and in fact, are liked and loved by people around you, then she will almost certainly feel comfortable replying to you.
Then, when she responds to your initial…
3. Ask for her number so you can call to say hi, or go ahead and call her if you already have it
If you’ve misplaced her number, or if she’s changed it since your break up, simply ask for it and then get her on a call.
For example: Reply to her message and add on, “BTW: What’s your number? I’ll give you a call to say hi.”
If you already have her number, you can message her and reply to what she said, while also adding in, “By the way – I’ll give you a call to say hi sometime this week. Will be good to chat and have a laugh I’m sure.”
4. Attract her on the phone, have a laugh together and then suggest catching up in person to say hi
Make sure you start off the call by using some humor (as early on as possible) to ease any awkward tension and get you and her connecting like you used to.
At the same time, make sure that you display attractive traits, rather than just talking to her as a friend, so when you suggest a meet up, she will be more likely to agree.
For example: Some attractive traits are…
- Being relaxed, confident and at ease, rather than seeming tense or losing confidence if she seems a little closed off, guarded or unsure.
- Letting the tonality of your voice and the way you react and respond to her, show her that you’re now at a different level to when you and her broke up (i.e. you are much more confident, manly and sure of yourself, while still being respectful towards her and treating her well).
- Playfully teasing her to create a sexual spark between you again, rather than just being nice (e.g. rather than just saying, “Oh, wow congratulations” when she says that she achieved something big in her life, you can playfully tease her about it first, before congratulating her. So, if she got promoted at work and is now the manager, you can say, “Well, that suits you because you always were kind of bossy” and have a laugh with her, before congratulating her).
Then, when her guard is down and she is relaxed and happy to be talking to you again, say something like, “Hey, we should catch up to say hi. Let’s meet up for a cup of coffee sometime this week. As friends of course. It would be good to catch up and have a laugh. Long time no speak.”
If you have been displaying attractive traits and making her feel attracted a s a result, then she will most likely agree to catch up and you can then arrange a time and place.
5. Re-attract her at the meet up and at least get to a hug
At the meet up, continue building on her sexual and romantic feelings for you by displaying attractive traits.
Show her via your body language, attitude, conversation style, actions and behavior that you’re now a very different man to the one she knew in high school (e.g. you’re so much more confident now, rather than being self-conscious and uncertain like you were in the past, you’re more emotionally masculine and as a result, are able to make her feel like a real woman in your presence).
To ensure that she wants to get to a hug (and even kiss with you), using flirting to build up sexual tension between you and her.
Then, if you think that she is ready for a hug while the meet up is still taking place, you can say something like, “It’s good to see that we still get along so well after all this time. Come here, bring it in for a hug” and then give her a hug.
Alternatively, if you think that it’s not appropriate to hug her during the meeting, then do it at the end.
You can say something like, “Well, it was great catching up with you. I think you’re even more beautiful today than you were back then. Anyway, let’s head off. Bring it in for a goodbye hug” and then give her a hug.
If she doesn’t pull away from the hug and keeps holding onto you, go ahead and lean in for a kiss.
Then, if she’s open and seems to want the catch up to continue, go to your place or hers and hook up with her sexually.
From there, you and her will either get back together right away, or will begin seeing each other and developing the relationship.
4 Mistakes Men Make When Trying to Get a High School Sweetheart Back
1. Being afraid to get to a phone call or meet up, so he hides behind messages and she eventually loses interest
Messages are fine as a first step, but you have to take things to the next level.
When a man reaches out to a woman he used to love, but only texts her for weeks or months, she can end up thinking, “I don’t understand why he bothered to contact me in the first place. Does he want a texting buddy or something? A pen pal? Does he like me or what?”
She will usually then begin to respond less and less, until she eventually stops responding altogether.
In some cases, a woman will continue responding in a case like that, but will also keep moving on with her life without him (e.g. having sex, dating and falling in love with other men).
So, if you want to get your high school sweetheart back, make sure that you’re bold enough to get her on a phone call and then to a meet up with you.
Don’t waste time hiding behind endless messages where you are trying to get to know her again, or build up enough of a connection before you think it’s time to get on a call, or set up a time to meet.
Get things moving along between you and her while you still can.
Another mistake to avoid is…
2. Being too neutral when messaging her or talking to her on the phone
If you don’t actively make your ex feel attracted to you during interactions, she’s probably not going to feel a spark with you.
As a result, she won’t be motivated to stay in touch other than as a friend.
She will see you as an ex that she used to have feelings for, but not anymore.
This is why you need to focus on making her have feelings for who you are now, by displaying attractive traits when you interact with her.
3. Feeling like it would be wrong to flirt with her, even though it’s one of the keys to making her feel a spark again
For example, a guy might think, “I can’t afford to blow my chances by coming on too strong. It’s better if I just act like a friend and then hopefully something will develop.”
Yet, here’s the thing…
If you don’t actively make her feel sexual and romantic attraction for you, then she will probably assume that all you want is to be friends.
As a result, she won’t flirt with you or show much interest, in case you reject her.
Additionally, since you’re only talking to her as a friend, she will likely see you the same way too.
So, don’t be afraid to flirt with your ex when you talk to her again, to create a spark between you and her and make her feel motivated to get to a hug, kiss and sex with you.
Also, remember this: For a woman to want to be in a sexual, romantic relationship with a man, she has to feel sexual attraction for him.
If those feelings aren’t there, it’s a friendship at best, or a waste of her time at worst and as a result, the communication will dry up and she will lose interest.
4. Not being aware that many high school sweethearts end up reuniting and then staying together for life
It’s not something that has been covered in large scale studies, so it’s difficult for men to know how common it is, but I can tell you from personal experience that I’ve heard from countless men over the years who have successfully gotten their high school sweetheart back.
It happens at all ages as well.
Sometimes, the man and woman broke up only a few years ago and then got back together, but in many cases it is 10, 20, 30 and sometimes even 40 years later.
How do they get her back?
By reawakening her feelings of sexual and romantic attraction, so she feels motivated to open up to him and see where things go.
You can have that effect on your high school sweetheart and get her back, but the question is: Are you ready to do it, or you do need some additional help to get yourself ready?
If you are serious about this, you and her could be back together within weeks and you can make her love you even more than she ever did back then.
It can be an amazing, life changing experience for the both of you, but you have to be willing to step up to the plate and do what it takes to get her back.