Here are 5 ways that you can make your ex’s new man look unattractive compared to you…

1. Make him look like the insecure one

If her new man keeps asking questions about you like, “If you’re over him, then why are you still interacting with him?” or “Are you still into him? Am I your rebound guy?” he will seem less attractive to her.


Women are naturally attracted to confidence in men and naturally turned off by emotional weakness (e.g. insecurity, self-doubt, anxiety).

This is why it’s so important that you interact with your ex to interrupt the process of her moving on.

When you interact with your ex and let her realize that you’ve changed the things about you that turned her off before, she will drop her guard and open back up to you slightly.

If she also notices that you now have a lot of the qualities and traits that are missing in her new man (e.g. you’re more confident, emotionally strong, emotionally mature, emotionally masculine, funnier, more interesting, more charismatic), she will stop looking at him as being better than you.

She will then subconsciously begin comparing you to her new man and won’t be able to stop herself from wondering, “Did I make a mistake breaking up with my ex? Is this new guy really that much better than my ex? Maybe my ex and I can work things out between us after all.”

So, make sure that you interact with your ex on a phone call and if possible, in person.

Don’t hide behind text because it feels safer, or because you think she might prefer that.

Texts are the easiest way to stuff up re-attracting your ex because she can read your texts as being insecure, desperate, controlling or needy.

However, when she talks to you on the phone or in person, she can sense the changes in you and feel real attraction for you again.

Then, she will almost certainly begin to change her behavior around her new man, or even mention that she has been speaking to you.

If he seems worried, she might try to reassure him by saying, “It’s fine. We’re just friends now. You have nothing to worry about,” or “Don’t be silly! It’s not like that between us anymore. I’m with you now.”

Why are you talking to your ex? You're supposed to be with me!

Yet, if he continues to jealous and needy (e.g. gets upset when she talks to you on the phone or meets up with you, forbids her to interact with you anymore, asks her who she likes more), she will soon begin to wonder if he’s really the right guy for her after all.

Here’s the thing…

For a man to build on a woman’s feelings of respect, attraction and love over time in a relationship, he needs to continue thinking and behaving in the ways that are naturally attractive to her (e.g. confident, emotionally strong, emotionally independent, masculine, mature).

Instinctively, every woman understands that a guy who is confident, emotionally strong and mature will be more likely to survive during difficult times in life, than a guy who is insecure, weak-minded and self-doubting.

This is why, when a guy is being clingy, jealous, controlling and insecure about his value to his woman, he’s actually triggering her instincts and making her feel turned off at a deep level.

Make her new guy display insecurity

She begins to think, “I didn’t know that he was this insecure. If he can’t cope with my ex and I talking, it must mean that he doesn’t really believe in himself and his attractiveness to me. That makes me miss my ex.”

If his jealousy and insecurity continues and she has to keep reassuring him about her feelings for him, her respect and attraction for him will begin to fade away.

Then, it won’t take long before she dumps him for you.

Another way you can make your ex’s new man look unattractive compared to you is to…

2. Start living a fun life and let her see it via social media

Start living a fun lifestyle and let her see it via social media

Sometimes, when a woman gets into a relationship with a new man, her ex may feel shocked and even betrayed that she has moved on so quickly.

He might say to himself, “How can she do this to me? Did our love mean nothing to her? I’m still feeling the pain of losing her and she’s already off with some other guy. Did she really care about me? Was I the only one who felt love? Was it all just a lie? Was she using me? Will any woman ever truly love me?”

He may then fall into a depression and close himself off from the world (e.g. he doesn’t go out with friends anymore, he refuses to meet new people or try new things).

He’s kind of hoping that when his ex finds out how lost, lonely and incapable of moving on without her he is, she will think, “Ohhhh…the poor guy. What have I done? I had a guy who adored me and I broke his heart. I’ve made such a big mistake! I need to get back with him. It’s the right thing to do!”

Yet, that’s not how it works.

In most cases, rather than be impressed by his emotional dependence on her, a woman will think, “Sure, it’s nice that he really loves and appreciates me, but him not being able to function without me is such a big turn off. Seeing him like this makes me feel like I made a mistake getting into a relationship with him in the first place.”

So, if you want to make your ex’s new man look unattractive compared to you, one of the best ways to do it is by showing her that you’re an emotionally strong and independent man now, with or without her.

For example: You might…

  • Go out with existing friends to have fun and interact with other interesting people.
  • Join a club or group activity to make new friends (e.g. martial arts, outdoor group exercise, hiking, dancing).
  • Go traveling on a group tour (where you will not only be seeing new places, but you will also make new friends).

By focusing on improving yourself and enjoying a happy life without your ex, you become a better man and lead a more balanced life.

As a side bonus, you also become more attractive to her (and to other women).

You can then post photos of yourself on social media (where your ex is sure to see them), doing all these new, exciting things and having fun with many different people.

Note: If she has unfriended you from social media, simply post the photos as “public” so she can see them from the outside.

When she sees that you haven’t been sitting around pining for her and living a lonely, sad life without her, she will naturally begin to feel respect and attraction for you again.

Secretly, she will also consider what it would feel like to join you and be a part of your new, fun life.

She will then begin to wonder whether her new man is the right guy for her, or if he’s just a temporary rebound that she needs to leave so she can get back with you.

A third way you can make your ex’s new man look unattractive compared to you is to:

3. Attract her in ways that he can’t, or that he doesn’t do a very good job of

Most guys have no idea how to be the emotionally masculine man that women hope to find.

So, even though your ex might seem happy in her new relationship, the fact is that she will lose interest in him if he is unable to attract her in the ways that really matter.

Therefore, it’s essential that you focus your attention on attracting her in the ways that he can’t, or that he’s not very good at.

You can do it in some of the following ways:

1. Make her feel girly and feminine when she interacts with her

For example: A man and a woman are always fighting, arguing and disagreeing, which makes her feel stressed out and annoyed.

So, she eventually decides to break up with him.

Then, she might hook up with a guy who is extra nice and sweet and who never disagrees with her about anything, because she wants to be with someone who is the opposite of her ex.

Yet, over time, she may realize that although her new man is a really nice guy (because he never stands up to her and instead lets her get away with anything), she doesn’t like how she always feels so much more emotionally dominant with him.

It’s like she is the man or the boss, which she doesn’t want.

As a result, she can’t relax and allow herself to be a feminine, girly woman around him.

He doesn’t have the kind of emotional masculinity that naturally makes her want to be submissive and girly around him.

It’s like he is the girl.

So, she has gone from being in a relationship with a guy who was too aggressive and argumentative, to being in a relationship with a wimp.

Neither of those options is what she really wants.

What she really wants is a man who is confident and loving, but also assertive and manly.

She wants the right balance of a good guy with balls, rather than an arrogant asshole or a wimpy nice guy.

So, if you interact with your ex and she can sense that you are no longer on one extreme or the other and can finally offer her a more balanced, attractive experience, she will naturally lean towards you.

Her new guy will stop seeming so appealing and her thoughts will keep wandering back to you.

Another way to attract her…

2. Turn her tantrums and bad moods into moments of laughter, smiling and love

By their very nature, women tend to be a lot more emotional and dramatic than men.

So, in a relationship, a woman might sometimes throw tantrums and start crying over seemingly insignificant things.

In reality, it’s not that serious and what she actually wants is for her man not to get caught up in the drama or become angry, upset or insecure.

She wants him be able to accept that she’s sometimes will become an emotional woman and it’s not something that he needs to worry about.

Instead, he should use it as an opportunity to deepen her respect, attraction and love for him by being strong enough to guide the interaction back to smiling and laughter.

If you can do that with your ex (and he can’t or struggles to), he will gone in no time.

3. Remain emotionally strong whenever she tests your confidence

Whether a woman is meeting a guy for the first time, on a date with him, or in a relationship with him, she will always test him.

She will test to see if he can maintain his confidence and emotional strength around her and handle her pressure.


Most women don’t want to get emotionally invested in a relationship with a guy, only to eventually discover that he actually can’t cope with the pressures of life because he’s unable to stand up for himself in an assertive, but loving and easy-going way.

Rather than remaining confident and in control, he buckles under the pressure and becomes insecure, self-doubting and fearful.

A woman doesn’t want to get stuck with a guy who can’t handle himself in the world and keep him and her safe for life.

Even though she might not openly admit it, or even be able to explain it if asked, it’s what her instincts are hard-wired to find out about a man, which is why she will always test him no matter how long they are in a relationship.

It’s her natural instinct to ensure that she will continue to be protected and taken care of, in this often scary and uncertain world.

So, if you want to make your ex’s new man look unattractive compared to you, just make sure that you:

  • Make her feel feminine and girly every time you interact with her (e.g. by making her laugh and smile, flirt with her to create sexual tension).
  • Show her your confidence and emotional strength by using humor to get her out of a bad mood when she’s throwing a tantrum.
  • Maintain your confidence around her, no matter what she does to test you (e.g. she is being cold and unfriendly towards you, she tries to make you jealous by talking about her new man, or tries to pick a fight with you).

The more she can see that you don’t feel insecure about yourself in comparison to her new man, the more she will begin to wonder if she made the right choice.

Then, when her guy slips up (e.g. becomes jealous and controlling, fails to make her feel feminine and girly, becomes clingy and needy), she will feel drawn to you like a magnet, because you’re now the better man.

5 Mistakes to Avoid When Re-Attracting Your Ex

Mistakes to avoid when re-attracting your ex

Getting an ex woman back from her new man is easy in most cases.

However, if you make one or more of the following mistakes, you will just make it more difficult to get her back.

1. Pointing out the new guy’s flaws

Even if what you say about him is true (e.g. he is a jerk, he’s only interested in her for the sex), it’s not a good idea.


Rather than believe you and come running back to you, she will assume that you’re just being immature about her moving on with another guy.

She will assume that you feel inferior, are jealous and are trying to convince her to that he’s no good for her.

Doing that actually makes him seem more attractive than you if he’s not asking about you or worrying about you.

So, it’s always best to just not worry about pointing out any of his faults and instead, focus on re-attracting her when you interact with her.

Another mistake to avoid…

2. Asking her if he is a rebound

A rebound relationship is the relationship that a person quickly or immediately gets into after breaking off their previous relationship.

Statistically speaking, about 65% of rebound relationships end within 6 months according to most studies.

Yet, if you try to explain to her that most rebound relationships break up and therefore, she should just leave him now, she will assume that you’re trying to get in the way of her new relationship because you’re insecure, which will then make her lose even more respect and attraction for you.

There’s no benefit in bring that kind of thing up with her, so make sure to avoid it.
Another mistake to avoid…

3. Improving your physical attractiveness, rather than your emotional attractiveness

Although there’s nothing wrong with looking good (e.g. you might want to lose some weight, add some muscle, change your clothes or hairstyle because it’s what you want to do for yourself), improving your physical appearance won’t necessarily make her see you as being more attractive than her new man.


What matters the most to a woman is how a man makes her feel (based on his behavior, attitude, conversational style, vibe) when he interacts with her.

In other words, do you slip into an insecure, self-doubting or needy way of thinking and behaving around her, or are you confident, emotionally strong and self-assured?

That is what really counts.

Another mistake to avoid…

4. Hiding behind texts rather than meeting up with her in person to allow her to experience the new and improved you

Sometimes, a guy will “play it safe” by sticking to texting his ex and never actually getting on a phone call with her (e.g. because he’s afraid she might reject him, he doesn’t want to scare her off).

However, when a woman has a real-life man in her life who is talking to her, making her laugh, making her smile and doing whatever he can to make her feel attracted to him, is almost impossible for a mere text from her ex to make her think, “Hmmm, my new man is taking me out to a romantic dinner tonight and he makes me feel so attracted, but this text from my ex saying “hi” is so awesome! My new guy now looks so unattractive compared to my ex. I have to get back with my ex! What a text!”

This is why I always recommend that a guy just call.

…even if she has a new boyfriend or is dating someone new.

You have to get in the way of her moving on and make her feel attracted to you again.

If a guy doesn’t do anything to actively spark a woman’s feelings for him on a phone call and in person, she will usually just randomly reply to his texts and continue moving on and having a good time with her new man.

The final mistake to avoid is…

5. Feeling unwelcome to flirt with her and create a sexual spark

Some guys make the mistake of thinking that flirting with an ex is wrong.

It’s not wrong.

It’s essential that you do it!

You’ve got to create a sexual spark between you and her if you want her back.

If a guy isn’t actively sparking his ex’s feelings of respect and attraction for him, there will be nothing to convince her that he’s a better option compared to her her new man.

So, if you want to make your ex’s new man look unattractive compared to you, it’s essential that you begin to make her have sexual and romantic feelings for you again.

You need to believe in yourself and in your value to her, no matter what.

When she can see for herself that you are now the kind of man that she can look up to, respect and feel attracted to (i.e. because you’re now more confident and emotionally strong, you’re a man of purpose, you make her laugh, smile and feel good to be around you), her new man will begin to pale in comparison to you.

She will then become open to breaking up with him and falling back into your arms once again.

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