Here are 5 things you can do to behave and act in a mature way after a break up, so your ex woman feels respect, attraction and even love for you:
1. Accept the break up and agree to be friends
Not only is accepting a break up a sign of maturity, but it also ensures that the lines of communication between you and her remain open, so you can then re-attract her and get her back if you want to.
You can start off by saying something like, “If breaking up is what you really want, then I’m not going to try to change your mind. Of course, that doesn’t mean I don’t still care about you, but I accept your decision to break up. At least we can mature enough to remain friends though, right? Friends?”
She might accept right away, or be a little hesitant and say something like, “Well, I don’t know if I can be friends with you now that we’re broken up,” or “I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” or even, “Why keep holding on? We’re broken up for a reason and the longer we stay in each other’s lives, the more difficult it will be for us to move on.”
Regardless of what your ex says, don’t get upset or think, “Oh well, I tried to be mature about the break up, but she’s not interested so that’s that I guess.”
Instead, simply maintain your confidence and in an easy-going, relaxed tone of voice say, “Hey, there’s no need to be so dramatic about all of this. We’re mature enough to be friends. Being friends doesn’t mean that we want to get back together. We are simply being mature enough to say hi and have a chat if we want to, while we move on without each other. So, we’re friends right?”
At that point, she probably won’t want to come across as the immature one and will then likely say something like, “Okay, sure. We can be friends.”
That then allows you to be able to text her, call her and even meet up with her in person, without it coming across as though you’re trying to get her back.
Of course, when you do text her, talk to her over the phone or interact with her face-to-face, don’t make the mistake only behaving like a nice, platonic friend.
If you do that, she will most likely only experience friendly, neutral feelings for you and will feel drawn to other men who actually make her feel sparks of sexual and romantic attraction.
If you don’t want her back, then use that approach. No problem.
Yet, if you do want her back, then make sure that you flirt with her to make her feel sexually attracted to you.
By the way…
There’s nothing wrong with flirting with your ex.
Don’t make the mistake of feeling like it’s not your place anymore to flirt with her, or that it wouldn’t be mature.
You can always flirt with a woman, just like a woman can always flirt with you.
Flirting is an innocent, discreet way to make a woman feel sexually attracted to you, even if you don’t intend on getting with her sexually.
Women understand how to flirt, they love it and when you use it, they automatically feel attracted to you.
So, by all means do the mature thing and stay friends with your ex, but if you want her back, make sure you’re not just behaving like a neutral, platonic friend who doesn’t have any desire to make her feel sexually attracted.
Remember: Sexual attraction is what brings men and women together into a romantic relationship, or at least just to have sex.
Without sexual attraction, it can only ever be a friendship and nothing else.
An agreed upon “friendship” is a good place to start with an ex and a great way to keep the channels of communication open between you and her, but don’t act like just a friend to her.
Use the friendship to make her feel sparks of sexual attraction for you and she will naturally begin to have romantic feelings for you again, or at the very least, become curious about what it would be like to hook up with you again sexually.
After hooking up, both you and her will be mature enough to decide whether or not to stay together, or just remain “friends.”
Another way that you can behave and act in a mature way after a break up, is to…
2. Only speak positively about her to mutual friends, so they don’t feel like you want them to take sides and turn against her
One thing that can make a guy seem immature is when he goes around saying bad things about his ex to mutual friends, colleagues, or family after a break up.
In some cases, a guy will do that in the hope that everyone sees him as the good guy or victim and her as the villain.
In other cases, a guy isn’t trying to make people see him in a certain way and instead, just doesn’t know how to deal with the situation.
As a result, he will bad mouth his ex to let off some steam and hopefully make himself feel better.
Sometimes it can make a guy feel a bit better, if he is going to bad mouth his ex, he should only do it with a close, trusted friend who is going to understand that he’s just letting off some steam.
Bad mouthing her to other people just adds the risk of them telling her about it at some point, or looking at him as being immature, unreasonable and incapable of handling a break up.
So, rather than siding with him and saying things like, “You’re right. She was a real bitch and you’re better off without her,” many people will think things like, “Wow. No wonder she broke up with him. If this is how he’s behaving now that they’re broken up, he must have been very immature in the relationship with her behind closed doors. I wonder if this is how he talks about me behind my back when we have a disagreement. Did he go and bad mouth about me to her? Is that the kind of guy he is? Maybe he isn’t who I thought he was. Maybe I can’t trust him as much as I thought I could. Maybe I shouldn’t be as close with him as a friend.”
If someone does tell her about what he said, or even hints at what he might have said, his ex can then use that against him if he tries to get her back.
For example: If he calms down and decides he wants her back, she might then say, “Are you kidding me? You tried to turn all of our friends against me and now you want me back. No thanks.”
On the other hand, when a guy remains calm and only says things like, “We just weren’t compatible, but she was an amazing woman and any guy would be lucky to have her as his girl,” when talking about his ex to friends and family, their perception of him will be completely different.
They will see that he is mature enough to maintain control of his emotions and treat her like someone he loves.
This shows loyalty and unconditional love, which is a trait of real maturity and a sign of emotional strength.
His friends and family will sense that and also feel relieved that he’s not putting them in the difficult position of choosing sides (i.e. him vs. her).
He’s just accepting the situation, being a good, loving man and not turning into a sore loser who turns against people who once loved him.
Then, if his ex finds out that he’s been saying good things about her, she will respect him for that.
When she respects him, she will naturally become open to feeling some attraction for him if they happen to interact on the phone or in person.
As a result, he can more easily reactivate her feelings and get her back.
So, try to only speak positively when talking about your ex.
That is the mature, classy thing to do and if your ex finds out about it, she will respect you for it.
Another way you can act mature after a break up is to…
3. Suggest being mature enough to remain social media friends
For example: You might say something along the lines of, “Many couples who break up are so bitter and angry that they end up behaving immaturely and unfriending each other on social media. Surely, we are more mature than that, right? We can remain friends, even if it’s just on social media. So, let’s at least stay friends on social media and feel free to say hi as a friend if we want to.”
In most cases, a woman will likely agree, even if she doesn’t really want to, because she won’t want to come across as being the immature one.
What she might not realize at the time, is that by staying connected to you, even if it is via social media, she’s giving you the opportunity to re-attract her and get her back.
If you re-attract her and she really wants to get back with you, then she will be thankful that you stayed in contact as a “friend” initially.
On the other hand, if you don’t know how to re-attract her and end up turning her off as a friend, then she might feel annoyed that you are staying in contact with her.
The difference is attraction.
When you make a woman feel sexually and romantically attracted to you, she is open and wants to interact with you.
When you don’t, she closes up.
By the way…
Another important reason to remain friends on social media, is so that she can see that you are confident, happy and enjoying life without her.
This makes a woman feel respect and attraction for her ex guy, even if she doesn’t openly admit it.
Women know that it takes a lot of emotional strength for a man to immediately get back on his own two feet and start enjoying life without her, after a break up.
More importantly, women are attracted to the emotional strength of men (e.g. confidence, self-assurance, self-esteem, determination) and turned off by emotional weaknesses (e.g. insecure, neediness, low self-esteem, lack of drive and determination).
So, don’t be afraid to show her your emotional strength.
She might not admit it to you, but she will be looking to see how you handle yourself after the break up (i.e. do you crumble and go into hiding, or do you rise up and become stronger than ever before?).
An ex woman doesn’t necessarily do that just because she wants her ex back though.
In some cases, a woman does still have feelings for her guy, so she checks on social media to see if he’s moved on without her.
In other cases, a woman just wants to check on her ex to see if he’s feeling sad and lonely without her, so she can then get an ego boost.
In other cases, a woman will check her ex’s social media to see if he is moving on faster than she is.
If he is (i.e. he has new friends around him and possibly even some women hanging around), then she can feel like the reject and the one who is being left behind.
That’s an emotionally painful experience for a woman, especially if she thought that she had power over her.
In many cases, it leads to a woman contacting her ex and trying to get him back, so she can feel better about herself.
In some cases though, a woman will pretend to be angry and insulted that he has been enjoying himself since the break up.
She will see if she can regain control over him and get him to admit that he still wants her back and has been missing her, so she can then stop feeling like the reject.
So, be prepared for all of those possibilities, but don’t be afraid of them.
For example: Some guys are afraid to post photos of themselves looking happy on social media.
They wonder, “Won’t her seeing me have fun without her just make her assume that I’ve moved on and am not interested in her anymore? If she thinks that, she might find another guy and then I’ll never be able to get her back.”
Yet, what guys like that don’t realize is that even though a woman usually won’t admit it, she will definitely feel more attraction for a guy who gets on with enjoying his life, compared to a guy who sits around feeling sad, lonely and left out.
Remember: Women are attracted to confidence, self-assuredness and self-reliance, not insecurity and neediness.
So, don’t be afraid to get on with your life and let her see that you are happy, confident and enjoying life without her.
Of course, doing that doesn’t mean that you don’t want her back.
Instead, it just means you don’t need her back and that is attractive to women.
Additionally, it’s not immature to enjoy your life without her.
Imagine if she start posting up photos of herself looking happy, confident and enjoying life with other people.
Would you think she was immature?
You would most likely miss her even more.
That’s what you need to make her feel.
You have to make her miss you and make her feel attracted to your emotional strength.
Part of being a mature man is not being reliant on a woman for your confidence.
It’s about having what I call, Independent Confidence.
This means that you are confident regardless of what people say or do around you, what happens in your life and whether or not a certain woman is in your life.
On the flip side, Dependent Confidence is where you can only feel truly confident when people are nice to you, when things are going well in your life and when a certain woman is in your life.
Independent Confidence is irresistibly attractive to women all over the world and is one of the hardest traits for them to find in a man.
When you have it, you literally become significantly more attractive to women than you ever have been before.
So, don’t be afraid to let your ex see that you have matured even further and now have even more Independent Confidence than you ever had before.
Another way you can act mature after a break up is to…
4. Tell her that it’s totally fine if she wants to ever catch up to say hi as friends
Saying that is a great way to keep the door open, so she feels welcome to contact you when she misses you.
When she agrees to that, it also allows you the freedom to contact her and say hi as a friend as well.
When you have that agreement in place, don’t be afraid to call her on the phone, spark some of her sexual and romantic feelings for you (e.g. by making her laugh and smile and feel good to be talking to you) and then get her to agree to meet up with you in person.
Another extremely attractive male trait is a man who knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to go and get it.
You may have heard women say that before, but if you haven’t, then just know that it’s real.
Additionally, most women lack the courage to face a potential rejection from their ex guy if they reach out and show interest.
So, they take on their traditional feminine role of waiting for a man to approach, interact and make something happen.
If you take on the same role as her and just wait and wait for her to hopefully contact you one day, then you might end up feeling very disappointed if you find out that she has moved on with another guy in the meantime.
So, if she doesn’t contact you, make sure that take action like a man and make something happen.
For example: You can contact her say something along the lines of, “Hey, we should meet up for a quick cup of coffee and say hello as friends. It will be good to catch up. I will have some free time on Tuesday and Thursday. Which of those day suits you best?”
Initially, she might feel a bit hesitant and say something like, “I’m not sure if we should do that,” or, “Maybe that’s not a very good idea.”
If so, you can simply add, “Hey, it’s no big deal. It’s just a cup of coffee between friends. We’re mature enough to do that. Mature people can meet up with an ex, rather than suddenly feeling like they can never say hello to each other as friends. It’s not like we’re getting back together again just because we say hi as friends. It’s just a coffee. Anyway, so let’s do it. Let’s catch up and have an innocent coffee. We’ll say hi as friends. Which day suits you best, Tuesday or Thursday?”
She will then be much more likely to agree (even if it’s because she doesn’t want to come across as being the immature one) and you can go ahead and arrange a suitable day and time.
Then, when you meet up, you can let her experience the new and improved you (i.e. more confident, more able to create sparks of attraction inside of her, more mature) and get her back.
Another way you can act mature after a break up is…
5. Don’t be embarrassed about the break up
The mature way to handle a break up is to admit to yourself that you made some mistakes, while also acknowledging all the things you did well.
You weren’t a complete failure.
Yes, you made some mistakes, but many couples experience problems in relationships and it’s not always all the man’s fault of course.
Additionally, you’re not the only man has gone through a break up recently.
For example: According to the Social Science Data Collection department of Stanford University in California, 60% of unmarried relationships break up within 2 months and 70% end within 1 year.
Break ups are very common these days and most people are used to hearing about friends or family members experiencing a break up, separation or divorce.
Of course, it hasn’t always been that way.
In recent centuries, it was seen as embarrassing and in some cases, even shameful to break up a relationship (which was almost always a marriage).
Back then, a man and a woman were expected to stay together for life even if they were miserable together.
Today’s world is very different.
Couples no longer have to stay in a relationship with each other if they don’t want to.
They are free to leave.
In fact, if a man or a woman wants to end a relationship, most people around them (including most family and friends) will be encouraging and supportive of the decision.
As a result of this change in culture, many relationships experience a break up (or several break ups) when one or both of the people aren’t happy.
Yet, despite the fact that so many couples break up these days, a lot of guys feel embarrassed or ashamed when their relationship ends, because they feel as though it’s only them who is going through a break up.
You are not alone.
A break up sucks and it hurts, but it’s completely normal and is nothing to be ashamed of.
Additionally, if you want to get her back, you also need to understand that getting an ex back is also completely normal and common these days.
Men all over the world get ex women back.
It’s completely normal and common.
Of course, it’s not reported on the news, or spoken about by many people.
Instead, it’s just something that men do and are doing in increasing numbers around the world, in response to the high number of break ups that happen in modern relationships.
By the way…
If you think that your case is too different and you just can’t get her back because you made this mistake, or that mistake, then think again.
Men all over the world get women back after bad break ups, stressful break ups and complicated break ups.
They re-attract the woman.
Attraction is what draws men and women together into a sexual, romantic relationship.
3 Immature, Post-Break Up Mistakes to Avoid
Now that you have a better idea of how to act mature after a break up, here are 3 mistakes to avoid making with your ex, if you don’t want to come across as being immature:
1. Writing her a long letter or email to express your feelings, thank her and wish her the best, when you secretly hope it will get her back
Here’s the thing…
If a woman dumped a guy and he immediately accepted it, behaved in a mature way and then didn’t beg or plead for another chance, then she will be more inclined to believe a letter or email from him where he wishes her all the best.
Yet, if a guy was clearly devastated by the break up, begged and pleaded for another chance and tried hard to convince her to change her mind, she will be suspicious of a letter or email where he is now wishing her all the best.
She will wonder if he really feels that way, or is just trying to act mature in the hope that it makes her feel respect for him.
If her intuition tells her that he’s just saying that to score some points with her, then she will be more inclined to close herself off even more (e.g. she stops replying to him, blocks his number on her phone, unfriends him on social media).
So, rather than writing your ex a letter or sending her a long email, just get to a phone call and in person interaction.
Let her see that you are a new and improved man and allow her to experience a new, more exciting type of attraction for you.
That is what works to get a woman back right away, whereas writing to her to express your feelings, thank her and wish her the best, will usually just result in her feeling suspicious of you and closing herself off even more.
The next mistake is…
2. Thinking that being mature and seeming to be handling the break up well, is the key to getting her back
Being mature is great and it does help, but it’s not the #1 key to getting her back.
Reawakening her sexual feelings for you.
Remember: Sexual attraction is what draws men and women together into a romantic relationship.
You can make her feel some respect and sexual attraction for you based on being mature, but it’s not the only way to do it.
There are so many ways that you can make a woman feel sparks of sexual attraction for you as you interact with her.
So, don’t rely on being Mr. Mature and hoping that she will think, “He’s being so mature, so I should get back with him. Maturity is everything.”
Instead, focus on being Mr. Sexually Appealing, so she has sexual feelings and can think, “I just want to kiss him again. I want to hug him. I want to have sex with him.”
Those feelings are what draw a woman back to a man, regardless of what problems they were experiencing in the past.
In fact, attraction is such a powerful force that both men and women will often totally ignore relationship problems, just to be able to get to the point of kissing, having sex and feeling the love that comes with it.
Of course, it’s not all about sex, but without sexual attraction, it’s just a friendship.
If you’re just a friend to her, then another guy will step in and have a sexual relationship with her by making her feel sexually attracted.
The next mistake is…
3. Assuming that cutting off contact and never reaching out will show her how mature you are and it will make her miss you
Unfortunately, if your ex has disconnected from her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you (highly likely if she has broken up with you), then cutting off contact probably won’t make her think something along the lines of, “Wow, he’s being so mature about out break up by not contacting me! It makes me miss him so much and want him back.”
Instead, because she didn’t have enough feelings to want to be in a relationship with you anymore, she will most likely feel relieved that you’re staying out of the way, so she can move on without you.
If you wait long enough, she will move on without you.
If you want her back, then don’t let that happen to you.
Use the straightforward, manly and practical approach of interacting with her, reactivating her feelings and then guiding her back into a relationship with you.