Do you feel anxious, nervous or self-conscious when on you’re on in a social environment? Are you the type of guy who worries what other people are thinking of you? If so, watch the video above for some quick tips that will help you feel more relaxed and confident when you’re alone in a social environment.
What Causes Anxiety and Nervousness in Social Environments?
Anxiety and nervousness are triggered by the way you think. In other words, by your mindsets. To stop feeling nervous, anxious or self-conscious, you have to get used to thinking in a more confident way. In other words, you have to get rid of your insecure mindsets that are causing you to feel nervous, self-conscious or anxious when in a social environment.
Mindset (noun): The ideas and attitudes with which a person approaches a situation. A habitual way of thinking about something.
Confidence (noun): The feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something. a feeling of self-assurance arising from the belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities.
Insecurity (noun): Uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence.
Building More Confidence
Confidence is essentially about your belief in yourself and your abilities. So, building more confidence is about building more belief in yourself. If you don’t feel relaxed or confident when you’re on your own in a social environment, it means that you are using insecure mindsets. If you want to feel confident and relaxed in social environments, you have to focus on getting rid of your insecurities and replacing those ineffective mindsets with confident ones.
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Your impressions of yourself in social situations really do instill how men should act. It really speeds up progress. Reading is great but the examples you give i.e of cutting the steak. (even though they are not meant to be a serious basis for behaviour) are actually really helpful. I copy your style and use the mindsets and i am so much more comfortable socially; I still have a long way to go though. Without this site I would be one miserable individual. Thanks Dan your work has given new meaning to the phrase “Knowledge is Power.”
Thanks for your positive feedback.
I’m glad you appreciate those little extras that I include in the videos. I know that they important because I’ve coached so many guys in person and those are the things that guys won’t openly admit that they need help with, but appreciate when it is explained for them. Those are the little extras that make all the difference in how people perceive/judge you in social environments.
BTW: If you have any requests for video topics, let me know and I will put it on my list of videos to make. I have a new Youtube channel here http://www.youtube.com/user/DanBaconTheModernMan and will be making a lot of videos this year.
Dan mate how do you push your fears and CONTINUALLY? Not just with women but in everything in life how do you just DO the things you want to do?
I’m one of the guys with that ‘disease of the mind’ that just never pulls the trigger constantly delaying, making excuses, drinking taking drugs, I get in constant trouble at work for not making phone calls I need to make completing tasks, approaching women, going after my interests (I missed out on college because I simply was too much of a pussy to go for the interview) it all stems from fear. It honestly baffles me when I see people who can just be confident and not have any whittling going on in their mind.
Please don’t say positive thinking I will literally punch the next person who gives that advice lol
Thanks for your question.
Lol @ positive thinking. Yes, you will hear that a lot because most people are not experts at helping people succeed and are simply repeating random things they’ve heard and applying it as “advice” to everything.
As for what you should do. I posted a Tweet about that years ago and the advice still stands:
Yo Dan cheers for getting back! I get what you’re saying with that man but with approaching women there is no ‘one step’ or baby step lol you are either approaching women and improving your skills or you’re not. The ‘one step’ is the only thing I need to get over for now sure you know what I’m getting at I can’t work my way up to talking to my first woman. You could create some contrived scenario to talk to women but its dishonest.
Here’s a new video I created to help guys like you: http://www.themodernman.com/blog/3-beginner-tips-for-building-up-the-confidence-to-approach-women.html
About having to create a “contrived scenario” or come up with an excuse to approach women: You don’t need that. They WANT you to approach them and hit on them. Watch this: http://www.themodernman.com/blog/what-to-say-to-make-a-beautiful-woman-feel-attracted-to-you.html
Also how does being good with women and being confident in that area of life allow guys to ‘master’ their entire life what’s is the correlation why is that or is that the only route to complete self improvement? Basically how does getting laid give you the confidence to think you can do so many other things I don’t get it.
Thanks for your additional question.
Essentially, when you can handle the tests and challenging behavior of women, you can more easily handle most of the other challenges of life. Women are complicated and will challenge men by playing hard to get, not contributing much to a conversation, etc to see how he reacts. If he becomes nervous and unsure of himself, the woman knows that he isn’t very strong, mentally and emotionally.
When you are confident around women no matter how much they test you, that confidence also then spills over into other areas of your life.
However, being good with women doesn’t automatically mean you can “master life” or anything else for that matter. Instead, it makes you a stronger man, mentally and emotionally, which then allows you to handle other challenging things in life more easily.
For example: It’s no coincidence that I often hear from customers who’ve used my techniques to get laid or get a girlfriend, but have also landed a promotion at work. Why? When a guy develops the skills required to succeed with women (e.g. understanding of social dynamics, confidence under pressure, etc), those skills are also very useful in other areas of life. He begins to think, behave and take action like an alpha male, which makes people respect and admire him. He talks to people with respect and love, but also demands the same in return, which people give to him.
In life, you only know what you know. If you don’t know the sorts of things that we teach here about women and about being a man, then you are basically going through life with the brakes on. The knowledge that we provide you with allows you to take your foot off the brake and start cruising through life in top gear. You get things done faster, easier and with much more enjoyment because you’re not insecure around women or worried about being rejected. You are attractive to women and you are also the sort of man who other men respect.
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