These days, a lot of guys are fairly introverted and are finding it difficult to succeed with women. They don’t enjoy socialising that much or having to go to parties and try to be the center of attention to attract women. They would rather be able to simply meet a nice girl and have a relationship, without having to go out nightclubbing every weekend or having a huge group of friends that they see every week.

A lot of introverted guys are often deep thinkers and prefer to think about life and focus on other things, rather than just socializing and hanging out with people for no reason. However, these guys (maybe you), still want to be successful with women. You still want to be able to get laid, get a girlfriend and enjoy yourself. You don’t want to have to miss out on it because you’re not an extroverted guy.

So, is it possible? Can you still have your choice of women, get laid and get a girlfriend (or find a wife), without having to be a wild extrovert who is addicted to being around loads of people? Definitely. Before we go any further though, let’s just get clear on the whole “introverted” and “extroverted” thing, so it is nice and clear for everyone.

Introvert: A shy person. A person characterized by concern primarily with his or her own thoughts and feelings.

Extrovert: An outgoing, gregarious person. A person characterized by extroversion; a person concerned primarily with the physical and social environment.

Gregarious: Fond of the company of others; sociable.

Do You Have to Be an Extrovert to Be Successful With Women?

No.

If you’re an introverted guy and want to be successful with women, you do not have to become an extrovert and be really “gregarious” as the dictionary definition explains, or be really “fond” of being in the company of others. However, you do have to become more confident because a guy who lacks confidence isn’t attractive to women. When you’re not attractive to women, they’re not going to like you and you’re going to have hardly any opportunities with women.

If you’re only a little bit introverted (i.e. you have an average level of confidence), then you’re going be at an average level of attractiveness to women, which means that about 30% of the women you meet with like you and feel an average level of attraction for you. There are many traits that attract women to men, but the three main traits are your confidence, your masculinity (i.e. how you think, behave and take action in life) and your social intelligence (i.e. whether or not you’re a cool guy, whether you can get along well with her and others, etc).

The #1 trait is confidence, so if you’re a guy who lacks confidence and is also introverted then you will not only avoid socializing and meeting women, but when you do meet women, they will rarely feel much attraction for you. You don’t have to change your personality and become an extrovert who wants to be around people all the time, but if you want women to feel strong attraction for you when they meet you, then you must improve your confidence (the most important), masculinity and social intelligence. If you are weak in those areas, then women’s attraction for you will be weak and inconsistent.

What Happened to Me

When I first started out, trying to become more successful with women, I was a fairly introverted guy who wanted to have more friends, but also didn’t want to have more friends at the same time, if you know what I mean. Going out and talking to people in social environments wasn’t on the top of my priority list. I wasn’t thinking, “Oh wow! I can’t wait to go out and talk to people in social environments!” because when I did go out to social environments, I wouldn’t that feel that good about myself.

I would be doubting myself around the “cool crowd,” worrying about what everyone else was thinking, wondering if I was fitting in and doubting that girls would me. However, now that I’m a confident alpha male and have great social skills, does that now mean that I now love going out and socializing and need to do that all day, everyday to feel good about myself (like an extrovert would)? No. I don’t want to socialize all day, every day because I’m a thinker and like to have more of a balance in my life.

The big difference between how I was before and how I am now is that when I am in a social environment, I am confident and really do enjoy socializing with people. Unlike in the past, where I would feel negative emotions in social environments, I now feel positive emotions because most people like me, respect me and want to be my friend. In the case of women, most women feel intense attraction for me and wish they could be my girlfriend or at least be sexed by me.

When I am not in a social environment, I rarely need it or crave it like an extrovert does. Instead, I have more of a balanced life with my work (The Modern Man), my girlfriend, my friends, family, exercise, time to relax and think and other important parts of my life. Sometimes I enjoy going out socializing and catching up with friends and other times, I just want time to chill out and think about life in the universe.

These days, I would be considered more of an extrovert by most people who meet me (because most people aren’t as confident as me), but the truth is that I’m neither an introvert or extrovert. I prefer to have a balance of both sides of that state of being. I don’t need to be alone and I don’t need to be around people; I just do whatever I want, day in, day out because I have the confidence and emotional security to be happy, forward-moving and driven in either situation. I like being around people when I’m around them, but it’s not as if I need to be around loads of people all the time like an extrovert would.

Nervous - Dan

Not all introverted guys are nervous, but I was. Here is me as a nervous introvert trying to meet women. This girl actually liked me and even gave me her phone number, but I screwed up the date because I was too nervous around her and doubted that she liked me. I felt as though she was out of my league. Women like this forced me to become stronger by building more confidence and becoming more of a man.

Dan - confident

This is what happened when I became more confident, masculine and socially intelligent. I didn’t have to become an extrovert who needed to be around people all the time, but I did have to become more confident, masculine and socially intelligent so that when I did meet women, they liked me and wanted to have sex and a relationship with me.

Chance Encounters With Women

If you’re an introverted guy, you do not have to change your core personality and become a full on extrovert to be successful with women, but you do need to become more confident, more masculine and improve your social skills and social intelligence. Why? Doing so makes you a very attractive option to women, so when you do have a chance encounter with a woman (i.e. assuming that you’re an introvert who rarely goes out socializing and only meets women by chance), at least you will be ready to seize the moment and go from a conversation to a phone number and then set up a date, or from a conversation to a kiss and then sex that day/night.

Are You a Confident Introvert?

You may be one of the rare guys who are very confident, but also an introvert. If that is the case, then you are either a thinker who prefers to be focused on what you’re working on in life rather than just hanging out with people all the time, or you are the type of guy who wants to be around other people more, but avoids it because you don’t feel your best when around other people.

If you’re an introvert who wants to be around people more often, but you avoid it because you tend to feel bad (i.e. uncomfortable, excluded, etc) when hanging out with other people, that doesn’t mean you are an introvert. What it means is that you lack the type of social intelligence and skills that will allow you to naturally get along with people in any environment.

If you want to improve your social skills and intelligence so you become even more confident and charismatic than you are right now, then I recommend that you keep learning from us here at The Modern Man. All of our programs improve a guy’s confidence, masculinity (how he thinks, behaves and takes action in life) and social intelligence, as well as making him incredibly successful with women.

So, if you’re one of the many guys who need help with women, stick around and keep learning. If you want to get results quickly, consider our advanced programs that provide solutions to all of the problems that you’ve been experiencing with women.

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