If someone has it, they usually worry about losing it. If someone doesn’t have it, they usually want to know how to get it.
What am I talking about? I’m talking about being popular.
According to the dictionary, popular is defined as:
Popular (adjective): Liked, admired or enjoyed by many people, a particular person or a group. Being regarded with favor, approval or affection by people.
Essentially, it’s about being someone who people like and if you’re not currently that person, you can be.
A Simple Popularity Technique That Always Works
Whether you are starting out at a new job, have moved to a new city and are making friends or you’re about to attend your first day of university, the secret is to know that you’re good enough to be liked by others.
One of the biggest mistakes that guys make (it’s different for women), is to act shy, vulnerable, unassuming or really nice and hope that people like them because of it.
If a woman acts like that, guys will usually love it because she is more approachable and girls will try to take her under their wing and include her in things.
However, as a man, you are always going to be much more respected, liked and admired by people if you are confident.
You have to believe and know that you are good enough to be liked by the cool crowd or cool people, in whatever environment you’re in.
Insecurity (noun): Lack of confidence or assurance; self-doubt.
Confidence (noun): Belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance.
As you can see from the dictionary definitions above, having belief in yourself is what confidence is all about.
If you truly stick to a confident way of thinking all the time (in an easy-going way, not in an arrogant way), it will come through in your body language (e.g. your smile, eye contact, relaxed movements), vibe, conversation style and actions.
People will respect you because you’re a cool guy who believes in himself, rather than another insecure actor who is hoping that people be gentle with him because he doesn’t yet know if he fits in or not.
You’ve got to make yourself fit in by deciding that you’re already good enough.
When you do that, you will naturally come across as a much cooler, likeable guy and you will automatically become more popular.
However, if you go around feeling like you’re not good enough for the cool crowd or acting like you are way better than everyone else, the majority of people won’t like you and therefore, you won’t be popular.
Why Do You Really Want to Become Popular?
Are you looking into how to become popular because you want to become popular with people in general, or because you hope that it will get you laid or get you a girlfriend.
Being popular definitely does make it a lot easier for a guy to get laid or get a girlfriend, because women are naturally attracted to guys who are liked by others.
However, being popular is not the only way a guy can attract women.
For example: If a guy is introverted and doesn’t want to be the most popular guy at work, university or wherever else, he can attract women in other ways.
When interacting with women, he can attract women with his confidence, masculine vibe, humor and charm.
Watch this video to understand how a woman’s attraction for a man works and how you can be successful with women whether you are popular or not…
As you will discover from the video above, a guy can be popular with women without having to be popular with loads of other people first.
Likewise, a guy who is attractive to women will find it much easier to become popular with people, than a guy who isn’t attractive to women (e.g. a nervous, shy, insecure guy).
How to Become Popular: Where Guys Go Wrong
Becoming more popular with people and women essentially comes back to your belief in yourself as being good enough.
When you know that you’re good enough, you think, feel, behave and act in ways that people respect, like and admire much more than the thoughts, feelings, behaviors and actions of an insecure guy.
For example: An insecure guy who is trying to become more popular, might make some of the following mistakes:
1. Doing everything that other people want him to do.
Some guys become social conformists and people pleasers in the hope that if they just do whatever people want them to do, they will be liked because they are so agreeable.
Guys like that will do anything that popular people ask them to do, so that they can hopefully fit in with the cool crowd. Unfortunately, no matter how much they try to fit in and no matter how much they do to suck up to the popular people, it never seems to be enough and they always find themselves on the outside looking in.
2. Being reluctant to disagree with people or stand up for themselves.
In an attempt to be liked, insecure guys often allow themselves to be teased, harassed or ridiculed by popular people. They avoid disagreeing or standing up for themselves when they are being put down.
The insecure guy hopes that by taking the hits, the popular people will let him hang around as a conversational punching bag.
Yet, because he isn’t respected and admired by people, he never gets to become popular like they are. He’s always the guy on the outside, the extra, the third wheel or the butt of people’s jokes.
3. Investing his money in clothes, technology and other material objects to hopefully look like a popular person.
Sometimes, an insecure guy will by all the kinds of things that he believes will make him look like a popular person.
He will get the latest cologne, drive the most expensive car he can afford, wear fashions that popular people wear and present himself as someone who looks the part.
However, material things are not what make a guy popular; as he soon finds out.
The real secret of how to become popular starts from within you. That being, your belief in yourself that you are already good enough.
If you don’t think that you’re good enough for the popular people, they aren’t going to say, “Awww…come here insecure guy. Join us…we’ll take care of you.”
That’s not how it works.
You’ve got to believe that you are good enough and then let that come through in your body language, behavior, vibe, actions and conversation style.
4. Hanging out in all the “coolest” places in town.
In an attempt to become more popular, an insecure guy will often go to all the coolest places in his town, city or surrounding area.
He will then try to bring that up when talking to popular people, (e.g. “Hey, have you ever been to Silk Bar on William Street?”) and then tell the popular people that he went and what he did there.
Yet, no matter how often he talks about the cool places he’s gone to, he never quite comes across as being a cool guy because the popular people can sense that he’s trying to be liked for things other than himself.
In other words, he doesn’t believe that he is good enough and is trying to make people tell him that he’s good enough because of all the places he’s been going.
That’s not how it works though.
Cool, popular people usually don’t want to be adding lots of insecure people into their group of friends. The insecure guy might get to hang around the popular people at times, but they’re not going to get close with him.
They will sense his insecurity and either ignore him, pick on him or give him as little attention as possible to keep him happy.
5. Acting as the “go to guy” for anything that the popular people need.
Since an insecure guy never feels like he’s good enough, he will often take on the role as being the “go to guy” for anything that popular people need.
Whether it’s getting cheap tires for your car, the best study guides for a science exam or tickets for a concert – the go to guy will try to sort it out.
He will try to include himself in as many things as possible, so people are forced to talk to him or interact with him to get it done.
Yet, because he never has the confidence of a truly cool guy, he never becomes any more popular than simply being a part of something that everyone else is doing.
6. Pretending to be very confident.
An insecure guy will sometimes pretend to be surer of himself than he really is.
He hopes that if he can just act like a really confident guy, people will be impressed and want to be his friend.
Yet, acting confident is not the same as actually being confident.
The type of confidence that will make the most popular with people is relaxed, easy-going confidence…and that’s not something that can be faked forever.
7. Acting like a really nice, innocent friend to women, even though he wants to have sex with them.
In a desperate attempt to become popular with the ladies, some insecure guys act like a super nice friend to women and hope that they will eventually be liked enough as a person to get laid or get a girlfriend.
Acting as a nice friend is the worst strategy that guys can use when trying to be successful with women.
As you will discover from the video above, there’s nothing wrong with being nice to a woman, but it’s not the thing that turns women on sexually.
If you want to be successful with women, you’ve got to be able to make them feel sexually attracted to you.
When a woman feels sexually attracted to you, she will then really appreciate the fact that you’re also a good guy.
However, if a guy is simply good to a woman and then hopes to be liked enough because of that to be rewarded with sex, love and devotion, then he’s simply doing it wrong.
First and foremost, a woman wants to be with a guy who makes her feel sexually attracted. If he is also a nice guy, that is seen as a bonus to her.
Yet, as you may have noticed, women will often go without the niceness and simply be with a guy who makes her feel sexually attracted, even if he doesn’t treat her very well.
Sexual attraction has to come first. Once you’ve established a woman’s attraction for you, everything else flows on naturally and easily after that.
Traits That Decrease a Guy’s Popularity With People
If a guy wants to be popular, he really needs to sort out his inner issues first, otherwise the majority of people will want to steer clear of him.
1. Low self esteem.
Self esteem (noun): Confidence in one’s own worth. Self-respect. A favorable impression of oneself.
Suffering from low self-esteem will often make a guy want to become more popular because he wants people to help make him feel better about himself.
Yet, people can sense his emotional neediness and it turns them off on a deep level.
They don’t want to be responsible for making him have enough self-esteem to feel worthy.
A low self-esteem guy will often hope that if he can just become popular enough, people’s admiration will then make him believe in himself.
Yet, if a guy doesn’t believe in himself first, how can he expect others to believe in him?
Your rise in popularity begins when you start to believe in yourself. You can’t expect others to believe in you and convince you that you’re good enough, because they have their own life to worry about and focus on.
2. A lack of genuine confidence.
Confidence is something that comes through via your body language, vibe, actions, attitude, conversation style and behavior.
It naturally makes you more attractive to others.
However, pretending to be confident and putting on an act is easily seen through and recognized as being fake.
The most popular guys are those who have genuine confidence in themselves.
Insecurity is a certain way to repel women and people in general. Beautiful women aren’t attracted to guys who are unsure of themselves and always tries to please and conform with others.
The most popular, well-liked people in the cool crowd are usually those who believe in themselves and don’t feel the need to impress others.
There will always be insecure people who hang around popular people or the cool crowd and while it may seem like the insecure person is popular, they aren’t always well-liked.
For example: An insecure person might hang around popular people and essentially suck up to them or be a go to person for everything so they remain involved, but they aren’t going to be well-liked.
As a guy, if you want to be popular in an effortless way, you’ve got to get rid of your social insecurities.
The more secure in yourself that you become, the more effortless your popularity and likeability will be.
Worrying about what people think of him can make a guy feel nervous and this nervousness then translates itself into everything that he says and does.
The more he tries to act cool and in control, the more nervous he becomes because he’s thinking way too much, rather than just being there in the moment.
Generally speaking, most people don’t want to feel responsible for making another person feel nervous. So, rather than continuing to contribute to making a nervous person guy feel uncomfortable, most people will simply try to ignore him.
Obviously, being ignored by people is pretty much the opposite of being popular.
If you suffer from social nervousness, make sure that you take steps to fix that. You’ve got to fix your inner issues first and when you do that, your popularity with people will automatically improve.
5. Unable to stand up for what he thinks or wants to do.
Insecure guys will often try to go along with what everyone else is thinking or doing, just to fit in. He would rather get to be around the popular people, than be rejected by them, so he just accepts whatever they want to do and hopes that people like him.
If he tries to make a stand and suggest that everyone does something else, people don’t follow along because he hasn’t established his popularity within the group.
6. Afraid to be himself.
An insecure guy will feel as though his real self isn’t cool enough for the popular people.
So, rather than be rejected for being his true self, he pretends to be someone that he’s not just to fit in.
Unfortunately for him, he doesn’t realize that being cool is about being comfortable in his own skin and embracing who you really are.
If you are your true self and you believe that it’s good enough (in an easy-going way, not in an arrogant way), most people will respect and admire than and think you are cool for being yourself.
They will want to be around you more, because you’re not afraid to be yourself, which makes you much more charismatic, appealing and interesting than all the fakers.
Becoming Popular With Women
As a guy, one of the best feelings in life is to be popular with women and have your choice of women, rather than having to take whatever you can get.
If you want to become popular with women and have lots of women interested in you at once, it all starts with you being able to attract women with who you are on the inside.
Watch this video to understand how it works…
As you will discover from the video above, you have a lot of direct control over how much or little attraction that women feel for you.
When you are the guy who is popular with women, you will automatically become popular with guys as well because they’ll want to be your friend to hopefully get some of the women that you don’t have time for.