You can get your ex girlfriend back after she dumped you for being needy by following these 3 steps:
1. Become Emotionally Independent
Right now the idea of living a happy, productive and independent life without your girlfriend might seem impossible.
You might even be thinking, “My girlfriend was my main reason for living and being happy. Without her in my life there’s no point doing anything. Things just don’t seem fun anymore. Why would I even want to do anything without her? What would be the point of living my life without her in it?”
Yet, thinking like that is just going to prevent you from getting her back.
Until you accept that you can live a happy and fulfilling life without your ex, you will stay stuck in a cycle of neediness that will keep turning your ex girlfriend off.
So, if you want her back, you have to become emotionally independent.
In other words, you can’t be relying on her love and desire for you to make you feel happy, whole and worthy in this life.
At this point, some guys will ask, “How can I do that when she means so much to me? I miss my ex girlfriend and I want her back. Do I need to pretend that I don’t care about her to convince her that I want her back? Must I play those mind games with her?”
It’s not about pretending or mind games.
You need to become emotionally independent because if you do, you will become emotionally attractive to her again (i.e. you will be more confident, have higher self-esteem and will be back to your old charismatic, charming, lovable self).
You can’t fake that.
You have to do it for real.
If you don’t get over your neediness for real and instead decide to put on an act of being more confident and emotionally independent without her, she will eventually say or do something that will reveal your insecurities.
For example: She might say something like, “You know… I’ve been thinking. Maybe we should get back together. I miss you, but since you’re not interested in me anymore, I guess I will have to move on.”
If the guy then quickly says, “No! No! Of course I’m interested! It’s what I’ve been hoping for all along. I still love you!” she will realize that he’s only been pretending not to be needy anymore and she will feel more turned off by him for trying to trick her into taking him back.
So, don’t put on an act.
Women are very good at smelling an act of confidence in a guy.
All they have to do is test the guy and if he cracks under pressure (e.g. becomes nervous) or drops his act, the woman knows that it’s an act.
What should you do instead?
You must show her that you now have a lot more going on in your life than just her.
You should have your own dreams, goals and plans that you are working towards, regardless of whether you’re in a relationship or not.
You don’t have to have already achieved those dreams, goals and plans, but you need to be making real progress towards them and because of that, you will be feeling confident, happy and full of self esteem.
She will notice that and she will believe you that you’re no longer the needy guy that she broke up with.
Yes, you still have some neediness deep down, but it’s going away…fast. You’re becoming the man that you know you should have been all along.
The truth is, you have been putting off doing certain things in your life because of your relationship with your ex girlfriend, right?
You have dreams and goals, but you just wanted to spend all of your spare time with her.
You stopped caring about the world and what you always wanted to do and you became a guy who was hiding from his dreams behind the safety and comfort of a relationship with a loving, caring woman.
However, now that you’re single, you can finally begin to make your dreams a reality.
- What is my purpose in life?
What do you dream about doing or becoming? If you’re not sure about what you really want to accomplish in your life, now is a good time to find that out and then take action to make it happen.
For example: What’s something you always wish you could work on or work as? What area of life are you most passionate about, other than you ex girlfriend? What do you wish you could become in this world or change about the world?
What industry, movement or cause do you wish you could be a part of? What do you love to do most, other than be with your girlfriend?
Answer those questions and you may begin to realize that you do have a purpose in life this and if you make progress in that area, you won’t be so reliant on your girlfriend for your sense of identity in this life.
- What are the things I’ve always wanted to do and see?
Have you been putting off some of the things you really want to do because you didn’t want to leave your girlfriend behind? Now is the time to decide what those things are (e.g. go traveling, further your education) and make them happen.
- Have I been holding myself back from becoming a better man?
Have you been avoiding accomplishing certain things in your life (e.g. go to university, learn a new skill such as martial arts, computer programming, flying an airplane)? Now is the time to do those things.
- Have I allowed myself to become a lonely guy?
Have you neglected your friends because of your relationship with her? You now have the opportunity to make amends with old friends and even make new ones.
By answering the above questions, you will likely realize that being dumped by your ex girlfriend is a great opportunity for you to become an even better man than you’ve ever been before.
This is your moment.
You are about to step up to the next level of your destiny.
When you take that step like a mature, emotionally strong man, you will automatically become more attractive to your ex and to women in general because women are attracted to a man who knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to go make it happen or to go ahead and get it.
Then, when you interact with your ex and she experiences the new you (a man who knows what he wants and is taking the steps to make it happen), she will likely be thinking, “My ex has really changed. What happened to that needy, insecure, emotionally weak guy who used to turn me off? He’s now so confident, driven and emotionally strong now. That is sexy. Hang on…why do I think he is so sexy all of a sudden? Why am I feeling this way? I guess it’s a sign that we should be back together.”
That’s what you want her to be thinking, rather than, “Hhhh…here’s another text from my needy ex boyfriend. Let me guess – he’s still stuck at the same level of maturity that he was when I dumped him. He still doesn’t even know how to make me feel a renewed sense of a respect and attraction for him. Well, I’m not giving him another chance because he hasn’t done anything to deserve it.”
If you want to get an ex back after being dumped for being needy, you need to show her that you’ve changed, rather than promising that you will change or asking for another chance based on the fact that you love her so much.
2. Apologize to Her and Tell Her That You Have Now Realized Your Mistake
It’s natural that when a guy gets dumped for being needy, he will most-likely want to apologize to his girlfriend for his mistake.
However, where many guys go wrong is turning an apology into begging and pleading for her forgiveness, as well as making all sorts of promises to change.
That’s not what a woman wants.
She doesn’t want a guy who is willing to say anything or do anything she wants, just so she will take him back.
Instead, she wants to see that he has actually understood the real reasons why she broke up with him (e.g. he was needy, insecure, controlling, jealous, still hadn’t worked out how to be a real man) and that he’s taking steps to quickly change those things about himself.
So, when you apologize to her, don’t feel like you have to beg for forgiveness just because you made the mistake of being a needy boyfriend.
A better way of apologizing that will spark her feelings of respect and attraction for you, is to say something like, “I understand why you dumped me. I was insecure and needy in the relationship with you and I became overbearing. I see that now and I understand how my neediness made you feel like you always had to reassure me of your love. That was silly and immature of me to do that. I wouldn’t have liked it if our roles were reversed and you were always nagging me about going out without you, reassuring you that I loved you or getting upset when I made plans with my friends. It wasn’t fair on you and I see that now. However, I’m not that guy anymore. I don’t expect you to believe me right away, but I just want to say that I’m sorry for everything that I put you though. I still care about you, but I accept your decision about us breaking up. I also want you to know that everyone makes mistakes in a relationship sometimes. I’m not perfect, but then no one else is either. I’m not asking you to take me back, I just want you to forgive me so that we can start over with a clean slate and be friends again.”
By calmly apologizing to your ex girlfriend, while being confident and mature enough to admit your mistake, you’re showing her that you’re no longer the confused, needy guy she broke up with.
You have learned from the experience and are taking positive steps to become a better, more confident and emotionally strong man than before.
This is attractive to her.
It automatically re-sparks some of her feelings of respect and attraction for you and she then allows herself to forgive you for being needy in the past.
She believes you that you have realized your mistake and have already begun to change and improve as a man, which makes it easier for her to truly forgive you.
Forgiveness is a powerful thing because it makes a woman drop her guard and open back up to you, even if she didn’t intend to.
All of a sudden, she stops looking at you in a negative light and starts seeing the new, improved version of you.
She accepts that you have changed, forgives you and lets go of the old version of you that she has forgiven.
That’s when you can quickly and easily guide her back into a relationship.
3. Let Her Experience Respect and Attraction For the New You
Right now, you may, or may not be able to have lots of interactions with your ex girlfriend.
She may have blocked you, stopped answering your texts or told you to leave her alone, or she may be still open to hearing from you.
Whatever the case is for you, the most important thing that you need to do is use every interaction that you have with her as a way of actively sparking her feelings of respect and attraction for you again.
If she has fully blocked you, there are ways to get her to unblock you, which I explain in my program, Get Your Ex Back Super System
To get her back, you need to actively make her feel something for you again, so her guard comes down and she opens herself up to talking to you in person again.
This means that you can’t ignore her for weeks or months, and hope that she will suddenly start thinking, “I haven’t heard from my ex in such a long time. Why isn’t he calling me, texting me or clicking like on my social media posts? I miss him. I’m going to call him up and tell him I want to get back together again.”
Ignoring an ex only works in about 20% of ex back cases if the woman still has strong feelings for her ex, or is struggling to find someone new to replace him.
In a case where a woman has stopped feeling respect and attraction for her ex because he was very needy, then not hearing from him for a long time won’t really matter that much to her and she will likely just move on.
Also, even if you do manage to get your ex girlfriend to contact you after giving her a few weeks or months of space, if she interacts with you and discovers that you haven’t really changed and are still the needy guy she broke up with, she’s likely just going to think, “Well nothing much has changed with my ex. It’s time for me to fully move on and forget all about him.”
So, to get her back, the most important thing that you need to do is to interact with you ex via text, social media, e-mail and especially over the phone and in person, so you can let her experience respect and attraction for the new you.
How can you do that?
Imagine that right now, you’re talking to your ex girlfriend over the phone and she tries to test you to see if you’re still needy.
She might say, “How have you been? I was out shopping the other day and I happened to go past that little Italian restaurant we used to love. It got me thinking about all the good times we had and made me miss you.”
If you quickly jump at that and respond with something like, “You have no idea how miserable I’ve been without you! Of course I remember our special restaurant! I keep seeing all the things that remind me of you and I haven’t been able to eat or sleep properly since the break up. I miss you too!” she will see that nothing has really changed.
She is still in the position of power and you are still waiting around, feeling horrible and lonely without her in your life.
On the other hand, if you remain confident and easy-going and say in a joking way, “Oh yeah, I was at that restaurant just the other day. I was also thinking about you… I was recalling that time you got spaghetti sauce all over your face. You looked so goofy!” she will most likely laugh and feel a bit self-conscious.
She will then think something like, “What’s going on here? That’s not the response I was expecting from him. He’s changed. He’s confident now. In the past, he would just be telling me how much he misses me, but now he’s so relaxed and confident…and I like it.”
When that happens, she just won’t be able to stop herself from automatically feeling some respect and attraction for you again.
That’s what you want.
When she experiences respect and attraction for the new you, her guard comes down and she starts to reconnect with her original feelings of love for you.
She becomes open to meeting up with you in person.
From there, you just need to continue showing her that you’ve changed (e.g. by remaining confident and relaxed no matter what she says or does to test you, by being charming and easy-going), and then guide her back into a relationship with you.
You Can Get Her Back, But You Need to Avoid Making These Mistakes
Being dumped by your woman for being needy doesn’t mean that your relationship is unfixable.
You can get your ex girlfriend back, but you first have to make her feel respect and attraction for you again.
When you make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you, the ex back process is easy and straightforward.
However, if you make any of these mistakes, you will cause her to continue feeling turned off by you, which will make the ex back process difficult and challenging:
1. Not getting to the source of your neediness
If you don’t understand what is causing you to be needy, you will most likely just keep experiencing it.
This means that whether you get back together with your ex girlfriend or find a new girlfriend, you will keep getting dumped until you figure out where your neediness really stems from and then take action to fix it.
For example: Some of the reasons why a guy might be needy are:
- He lacks purpose in life.
A guy who lacks purpose has no big long term goals or dreams.
He’s simply drifting through his life and using his relationship with his girlfriend as an excuse to hide from his true potential as a man.
To change, he needs to find something that he feels truly passionate about and take steps to make his dreams a reality.
He doesn’t have to achieve everything to get her back, but he just needs to show her that he’s making progress towards achieving something big in his life that is independent of her.
If she is his purpose, she will feel deeply turned off by him.
Women don’t want to be a man’s reason for living, even though they may say that they want that in pop songs or romantic movies.
In real life, women want a man who has purpose and will follow through on that with or without her.
Being like that causes a woman to feel a deep, ongoing respect and attraction for you.
- He thinks that a woman should feel flattered by the fact that he needs her so much.
Initially, a woman might like the idea that her guy is so devoted to her and even seems to need her, but she will become turned off if she realizes that he needs her because he’s emotionally insecure.
She will test him by losing interest in him and sex or by pretending to be interested in other guys and if he falls to pieces, she will know that he’s only confident and happy because when she loves him.
She will know that he needs her love to be strong and without it, he becomes a weak, insecure, needy guy.
She will then begin to order him around, treat him badly and be cold towards him and if he puts up with it because he needs her, she will lose a tremendous amount of respect and attraction for him.
In his mind, he thinks that being so needy of her will show her how much he loves her, but in her mind, it will show her how much he needs her.
A woman wants a man who wants her, not needs her.
A woman wants to loved, cherished, respected and appreciated, but she doesn’t want to be desperately needed by a guy who can’t function without her.
2. Keep turning her off and hope that she will just give you another chance because you care about her so much
To successfully convince your ex girlfriend to give you another chance, you must begin to make her experience the type of feelings that she wants to experience when she’s with you (e.g. respect, attraction, love).
If you keep saying and doing the types of things that were turning her off before she dumped you (e.g. being needy and insecure when you interact with her, telling her how terrible your life is without her, telling her how much you still love her) she just will keep saying things like, “It’s over,” or “Sorry, I don’t have feelings for you anymore.”
If a woman has lost respect and attraction for her guy, she won’t really care that he still cares about her.
It doesn’t matter that you and her were in love before.
What matters is how she feels now.
You need to focus on changing the way that she feels now, not trying to remind her of how she used to feel or how good things used to be.
You have to show her (by the way you think, act, behave, interact with her, and react to what she says and does) that you are now a confident and easy-going man.
You’re not the tense, needy guy that she dumped.
You’re confident, relaxed and you have high self-esteem now, with or without her.
Don’t tell her that that you’re happy without her, because that would be rude and she will try to use it against you.
Instead, show her that you are confident, happy and full of self-esteem without her by how you think, talk, feel, behave and interact with her.
Once you do that and you see her positive reactions, the idea of getting back together again won’t seem that impossible to you or her anymore.
You can do this.
You can get her back.
Yes, you made a mistake by being needy, but you’re not that guy anymore, right?
You’re confident now.