Relationship break ups are never easy and someone is always going to get hurt in the process.
When guys get hurt after being dumped by a girlfriend they love, it can be a real blow to their confidence. Feeling down and out, a guy may end up thinking that he’ll never manage to attract another quality woman into his life or that no other woman will ever be able to take the place of his ex-girlfriend.
Feeling that their confidence is at rock bottom is what leads many guys to contact The Modern Man for advice by saying, “I need my ex-girlfriend back,” and asking, “How can I make her want me back?”
As Dan Bacon (founder of The Modern Man and creator of Get Your Ex Back: Super System) explains in the video below, it won’t matter to her that you want her back or need her back. She will only begin to care when you make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you…
Why Do You Need Her Back?
If you were in the type of relationship where your entire world revolved around your girlfriend and you had no important interests outside of the relationship, it’s understandable that not having her in your life anymore will make you feel that you need her back.
However, your neediness may well be the reason why your girlfriend chose to end the relationship in the first place. Women are naturally attracted to confident men who have purpose in life, meaning they have lots going on other than their relationship and they pursue their own interests as well as doing things together as a couple.
If a guy makes his girlfriend his main purpose in life, she will almost always eventually say things like, “I need time to find myself” or “I need space and time to think about what I want,” because he has put her into the position of leader.
She senses that she is responsible for his emotional security and sense of identity, rather than him being a real man who has big goals in life and is going after them with passion, confidence and determination, rather than hiding behind her and the relationship.
When a girlfriend begins to pull back her interest in a boyfriend who has no real purpose in life, he will usually react by feeling needy, insecure or getting to the point where he is unable to control his jealousy.
Acting in a needy, jealous or overly-protective manner is a complete turn off for women. Some guys make the mistake of thinking that if they show their girlfriend how concerned they are about losing her, it will get her to realize how strong his love is for her.
Yet, that’s not how it works.
Women don’t want to get caught up in a relationship that is based on needy, insecure love. They want a guy who loves them and wants them, but who doesn’t need them for his emotional security.
If you’re saying, “I need my ex-girlfriend back,” you may be one of the guys who have made the mistake of making your girlfriend your purpose in life. A woman wants to be an important part of a man’s life, but she doesn’t want to be his “everything.”
What Have You Tried So Far?
Saying, “I need my ex-girlfriend back” is one thing, but doing something about it to get her back is another. So what have you tried?
Neediness very often results in desperate acts, but desperation is another trait that is not attractive in a man. For example, a guy who is feeling insecure and desperate to get his ex-girlfriend back might try the following:
1. Begging and Pleading
It’s not unusual for a guy who is desperate to get an ex to change her mind to resort to begging and pleading with her to be given a second chance. Begging and pleading is not attractive and will only convince her that her decision to dump him was the right one.
Women don’t think, “He’s really desperate; he must really love me so maybe I should give him another chance.” Instead, they usually think, “He’s really desperate; what a loser, I need to move on and not look back.”
2. Leaning On Her Friends
Another mistake guys make is thinking that they can recruit the help of her friends to get her to change her mind.
They try to accidently-on-purpose bump into their ex’s friends and then they make sure the message gets across about how devastated he is by the break up and how desperate he is to be given a second chance … if she would only just talk to him … if she would just reconsider, etc.
Yet, that is an approach that will usually backfire. Not only is it embarrassing for her and for her friends, it shows you to be a guy who doesn’t have what it takes to stand on his own two feet and work things out for himself.
If you really “need” your ex-girlfriend back, you need to show her through your thinking and actions that you’ve taken steps to become a better man than the man she dumped. Looking for the sympathy of her friends does not show you to be that man.
3. Threatening Self-Harm
When some guys feel that their life is not worth living without their ex-girlfriend in it, they’ll very often choose to hide away from the world and wallow in self-pity for a while. They’ll stop going out or meeting up with friends and they’ll sit alone at home licking their wounds, and probably not taking very good care of themselves in general.
This can lead to losing weight or becoming ill in some way and any attempt made by friends to improve things will be shunned with comments such as, “There’s no point to anything without her in my life,” or, “I’ll never be happy again” or, “If I can’t get my ex back, I will commit suicide.”
If any of this resonates with you, you need to ask yourself, “Which part of wallowing in self-pity and threatening self-harm is showing my ex-girlfriend that I’m a guy she should want to have back in her life?” The answer is none of it – exactly!
If you’re making or have already made any of the above mistakes, you’re making it extremely unlikely that your ex-girlfriend will even consider the idea of taking you back. If you need your ex-girlfriend back, you need to make her feel that she needs you back.
You need to show her that you’ve figured out the mistakes you made that led to her losing attraction for you and falling out of love with you and you’ve learned from them.
You need to show her through your attitude and behavior that you’ve taken action to make improvements and you’ve become a better, much more sexually attractive man as a result – a man she feels she needs to have back in her life.
Making Her Feel Like She Needs You Back
Only when you make your ex-girlfriend feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you, will she then become interested in you again. If you also approach things correctly and cause her to feel jealous that you’re so happy and confident without her, she will then begin to feel like she is losing you.
From there, you need to make sure that you make her feel like her life would be so much better off with you in it. How do you do that? It’s all explained in Dan Bacon’s Get Your Ex Back: Super System program, which has already helped 100s of guys to successfully get a girlfriend, fiancé or wife back.
Are you ready to begin making her feel like she needs to have you back?