Here are 8 common reasons why a guy will get broken up with for pushing his girlfriend too far and what he can do to get her back.
Which one of these applies to your situation?
1. He threatened to break up with her one too many times, so she eventually decided to break up with him
If a man threatens to break up with his girlfriend near the beginning of a relationship (i.e. during the first couple of months) because she isn’t treating him well enough, it will usually cause the woman to improve her behavior and treatment of him.
So, it’s a good technique to use early on.
However, if a man continues to threaten his girlfriend with a break up after being with her for a long time, then she will start to feel as though she can’t trust him.
She will feel as though if she gets more committed to him (i.e. falls more in love, opens up to getting engaged to him, does more for him), he could just turn around one day and say that it’s over.
This can cause her to begin to want to change his behavior and make him more committed to her.
As a result, she will then decide to break up with him to hopefully teach him a lesson.
To get her back, he needs to avoid being desperate (i.e. begging for another chance, crying to her again and again, pestering her with endless texts) and simply remain calm, knowing that he will be able to re-attract her.
One of the ways he can re-attract her is by showing her that he is now more in control of his emotions (e.g. rather than getting upset over her cold, distant treatment of him, he now uses humor to get her laughing, smiling and feeling close to him again. Additionally, rather than losing confidence when she isn’t showing him love or interest, he maintains his confidence and knows that she will find that attractive, which she does. Women always find it attractive when a man is able to remain confident, composed and in control under pressure).
When his girlfriend feels a renewed sense of respect and attraction for him, she then naturally opens back up to giving him another chance, regardless of the mistakes he made in the relationship.
She knows that if she doesn’t give him another chance, she will most likely regret it and feel like the rejected one if he moves on with another woman.
So, to avoid that emotional pain, she opens up to giving him another chance, or at least hooking up with him again to assess how she feels afterwards.
Another reason why a woman will break up with a boyfriend who pushed her too far is…
2. He took her love and devotion for granted
- He spent way too much time playing video games and just expected her to wait around in the background. There’s nothing wrong with playing video games when you have a girlfriend (or wife), but you have to maintain a balanced lifestyle (i.e. work, sex life, social life or getting out and doing things with her, giving her enough attention and then gaming, rather than gaming and then everything else after that).
- He assumed that he could treated her any way he wanted and she’d always put up with it because of how much she loved him.
- He rarely put in the effort to continue getting to know her family and usually avoided accompanying her on family visits, if possible.
- He eventually stopped noticing her efforts to look attractive for him (e.g. when she wore a sexy outfit, changed her hairstyle) and started looking at her as though she didn’t wow him anymore. He may of even gone to the extreme of regularly criticizing her appearance, rather than praising any of her her efforts to look good and therefore, making her feel motivated to put in more effort.
- He barely pulled his weight around the house (e.g. didn’t fix things that were broken or get someone to fix them, didn’t take out the trash even though she did all of the other housework) and when she complained about it, he accused her of being a nag.
- He regularly got angry at her and treated her badly for hours or days, based on little misunderstandings, rather than being mature and loving about it by maintaining control of his emotions and focusing on using misunderstandings to bring them closer together and more in love (i.e. by clearing up the misunderstanding in a relaxed, loving way, rather than acting like her enemy or a person who wants to see her fail or hurt her emotionally).
When a woman finds herself in a relationship like that, she will usually put up with it for a while and give her boyfriend a number of warnings.
Yet, if he continues and even gets worse, then a woman will usually decide that it would be better for her to break up with him and try to find a new guy.
In some cases though, she will hope that by breaking up with him, it will be a wake up call for him and cause him to change.
As long as he isn’t desperate about it (i.e. doesn’t keep crying to her, begging for another chance) and is manly about it (i.e. owns his mistakes, apologizes briefly and sincerely, maintains belief in his attractiveness to her, guides her back into a relationship), then she will be open to seeing where things go.
3. He treated her more like his annoying girlfriend than a woman that he was in love with
When a man is in love with a woman and wants to be with her (and if he understands how to behave in a relationship to make it last for life), he will treat his woman with respect and care.
He will know that she is important to him and it would be silly to ruin the relationship and lose her, so he will avoid treating her like she is an annoying pest in his life.
On the other hand, when a guy doesn’t know how to treat his girlfriend right, or slips into a habit of treating her like an annoying pest, she will start to look at him differently.
Rather than seeing him as the man who will love her, protect her and care about her for life, she begins to see him as a guy who wants her to hurt, feel rejected and steer clear of him as much as possible.
It won’t really make sense to her why he is doing it, especially since she does love him and wants to be with him.
For example: Even though she is sticking around and trying to make the relationship work, he might continue to:
- Criticize or belittle her behind closed doors and sometimes, even in front of others.
- Get irritated if she asks him to do something for her (e.g. take out the garbage, put gas in her car, pick her up from work), but then expect her to do things for him and not complain about it.
- Sulk or become very difficult to be around, if she asks him to spend time with her doing some of the things she really likes (e.g. watch a romantic movie or TV show together, go out to dinner at a restaurant sometimes rather than always ordering takeout, hang out with her friends once in a while).
If he keeps treating her that way, or gets worse, a woman will usually decide to just break up with him and try to find someone new who will give her a more balanced, loving relationship that can last for life.
Of course, her ex can still get her back, but he needs to understand where he went wrong and prepare himself to interact with her and let her see that he is now a completely different man.
He shouldn’t try to sell himself to her (i.e. “I’ve changed. I’m no longer like that, so please give me another chance”), but instead, should let her pick up on the changes he has made based on how he now talks to her, reacts to her, treats her and behaves.
Women prefer to pick up on details in that way, rather than having a guy trying to sell himself to her.
Remember that and use it to re-attract her and get her back.
4. He became aggressive with her on one too many occasions
Sometimes a guy will fall into the habit of getting angry with his girl over little things.
At times, he might even push her, shake her, choke her or grab her arm and shake it aggressively while arguing with her.
If that happens once, a woman will usually be able to overlook it.
Yet, if it happens over and over again, she will naturally begin to worry that he might eventually go from just being aggressive to being seriously violent (e.g. punching her, beating her or worse).
So, rather than sticking around and becoming one of those women who are stuck in abusive relationships and can’t get away, she decides to break up with him now, while she still can.
If a guy wants to get his girlfriend back in a situation like that, he has to honestly make a decision to never become physically aggressive or violent with his girlfriend ever again.
If he can honestly decide that and know that he won’t do it again, then he will be able to sincerely tell her that.
If she is still in love with him and is open to being with him, then there is a chance she might forgive him and give him another chance.
5. He never really committed to her, even though she treated him well, gave her heart to him and was patient for a long time
For a relationship to last past the initial phase of lust, a couple needs to connect on more than just a superficial level.
In other words, they need to ultimately want the same things in life and be heading towards that together, rather than one person wanting to settle down, get married and start a family, while the other one wants to stay boyfriend and girlfriend and avoid a serious commitment.
So, if a woman notices that she’s the one investing more into the relationship and is maturing faster than her guy, she may begin to worry that she’s wasting her time with him.
The reason why is that a woman’s natural instinct is to find a guy, get him to fall in love with her and then stick with him for life.
It’s not what women go around admitting these days, as they like to act independent and as though they don’t care about men.
However, deep down, it’s what almost every woman really wants when it comes to men.
So, if a woman isn’t getting that from her boyfriend, she will usually hint at her unhappiness (i.e. seem distant, throw tantrums, subtly complain about his treatment of her) in the hope that he will pick up on it.
If he doesn’t change, she might then directly say that she isn’t happy with him and doesn’t know how long she can put up with it.
Alternatively, she might go directly to a break up by saying something like, “I need time to be by myself to figure out what I want.”
In those types of cases, a man needs to become more open to committing to her and making her feel loved and wanted, but he has to avoid being desperate about it (i.e. rushing to buy her a ring, promising the world to her if she gives him another chance, crying).
If a man has already made those mistakes, then he needs to let her know that he behaved like that because he loves her so much, but now realizes that he would have looked silly.
He should then laugh at himself, rather than taking his behavior so seriously, so she can laugh at how he behaved as well, therefore making her become open to forgiving him because she sees that he now understands and isn’t going to continue being desperate.
6. He was used to being a player and being able to push girls away, only to see them coming back for more
That is a technique that works early on in a relationship, but if a guy continues to do it years into the relationship, a woman will usually change her approach to gain some power.
For example: She will stop being as affectionate, start spending more time away from him and being more independent, no longer fall for his player tricks and seem distant, unimpressed and as though she is ready to break up with him for real.
If he is a real player (i.e. knows how to make women fall deeply in love with him to the point where she sees him as being better than any other guy, no matter how he treats her), then she will struggle to find a new guy who makes her feel as much love as he did.
As a result, a woman like that will pretty much always be ready to go back to her ex if he is ready to give her what she wants (i.e. commitment) without losing touch with what actually attracts her about him (i.e. that he is a player and she feels the need to impress him and maintain his interest).
7. He continued to flirt with other women, or sleep with other women even though he was supposed to be exclusive with his girlfriend at that point in the relationship
Some women will put up with being one of a number of a man’s girls near the start of a relationship, but if he continues on with that approach for too long, she will eventually grow tired of it.
Essentially, the best approach to use with women is to let them see that you could have other women easily, but you are committed to them.
Women pick up on this based on how women react to you, without you having to explain it.
Unfortunately, some guys go too far with it and flirt with other women too obviously and too much in front of their girlfriend, or they even go as far as exchanging numbers, texting back and forth or even hooking up with other women when the relationship is supposed to be committed and exclusive.
Women will usually take a man like that back, but he has to let her see that he isn’t like that anymore, without being desperate about it.
8. He tends to only really appreciate women who have the guts to break up with him
Sometimes a guy is very attractive to women and can easily get himself a girlfriend, which can cause him to see women who like him as being a dime a dozen (i.e. women like that are everywhere, it’s too easy for him).
Yet, when a woman adores him and does everything she can to make him happy, he ends up taking her for granted (i.e. not making her feel appreciated, treating her however he wants and knowing that she’ll likely just keep putting up with it to be with him, ignoring what she wants from the relationship).
On the other hand, if a woman that he likes has the guts to break up with him, she suddenly appears more valuable in his eyes.
He finally gets to experience the pain of not being able to have the woman he really wants, because women are usually throwing themselves at him in a relationship.
Suddenly, he feels heartbreak, panic, loneliness, loss and regret, which makes him want her back.
…and she knows that.
Some women simply use that as a technique to get guys to commit.
So, to get her back, he needs to ensure that he remains a challenge to her (that’s what attracted her to a guy like him), but also makes her feel appreciated, loved and wanted without being desperate about it.