Here are 3 tips to get your ex back, even though she now has a boyfriend:
1. Prepare ready to make the new guy appear less attractive compared to you
If you can make her feel more attracted to you than the new guy, she will consider breaking up with him and getting back with you.
- He is too nice and allows her to get away with bad behavior (e.g. breaking her promises to him, throwing tantrums, being disrespectful towards him), whereas you are a more confident and ballsy man who she can naturally respect and look up to.
- He has become too emotionally dependent on her and doesn’t focus on his own goals, dreams and interests in life anymore (i.e. he’s become too clingy and needy), whereas you are a man who is following through on his biggest dreams, goals and ambitions in life.
- He displays unmanly behavior too often (e.g. he cries to her when things get tough or he’s faced with a challenging situation), whereas you are an emotionally strong man.
- He has turned the relationship into a friendship and she has stopped feeling like an attractive, desirable woman around him, whereas with you, she feels the spark and wants to hook up with you again.
- He has become insecure in the relationship with her, because he lacks confidence in himself and his value to her, whereas you believe in yourself and your value to her.
If your ex notices that, she will begin to lose so much respect and attraction for him that it won’t make sense to stay with him anymore.
Of course, many guys in your position are worried that they can’t make their ex woman feel attracted anymore, because she seems happy with the new guy.
Here’s the thing though…
When a woman hooks up with a new man, he will usually be very different to her ex, because she will be looking for someone who can fill in the gaps that were missing in her previous relationship.
So, she will seem excited, happy and relieved to have a man like him.
For example: If her ex was too nice, she will likely look for a bad boy who is more emotionally dominant than her and doesn’t put up with her bad behavior.
If her ex treated her more like a friend, her new relationship will usually be based on animal attraction and lots of sex (i.e. so she can feel like a desirable, sexy woman again).
If her ex was too wimpy or weak-minded, her new man will probably be more assertive and strong-willed.
So, it will often seem like she is super happy with the new guy.
Yet, don’t judge a book by its cover.
Understand that a woman can easily put on an act of seeming happy to impress her friends, family or coworkers, or to hopefully make her ex jealous.
What you need to understand is that even if she is fairly happy with him right now, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s perfect for her and doesn’t actually turn her off in subtle or obvious ways.
For example: Her new boyfriend might be more assertive than you used to be, but he takes her for granted and doesn’t treat her with the respect she feels she deserves.
He might make her feel like a sexy woman, but he doesn’t value her ideas or opinions, so she begins to feel like it’s a relationship with an expiry date that will be over when they get bored of each other sexually.
He may be more emotionally dominant than her, but he’s too irresponsible and doesn’t have direction and focus in his life, so she ends up feeling like more of a mother figure for him.
There are many ways that he could be turning her off.
So, don’t lose hope.
Believe in yourself and get her back.
Before you do though…
Make sure that you improve on the things about yourself that turned her off before (e.g. become more emotionally independent, build up your confidence and start believing in your value to her, stand up to her in a lovingly dominant way when she is being disrespectful or childish), so she has a reason to leave him and get back with you.
When you interact with her and she discovers that not only have you changed and improved the things that caused her to lose respect and attraction for you, but you’re also a better man in areas that her new boyfriend is lacking, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling drawn to you again.
She’ll go from seeing him in a positive light, to thinking things like, “Hmmm…I’m no longer sure if my new boyfriend is the right guy for me. Maybe I did make a mistake by breaking up with my ex. I don’t know why, but my new guy suddenly seems so much less attractive to me than my ex. I feel so confused. Why do I want to see my ex all of a sudden?”
She then becomes open to you and you can guide her back into a relationship.
Another tip is to…
2. Make her feel sparks of sexual and romantic attraction on a phone call
One of the best ways to get the ball rolling with your ex is by calling her on the phone and making her feel sparks of sexual attraction for the new and improved you.
Texting is okay, but you shouldn’t use it as your main approach to getting her back.
You’ve got to get to the point where you and her are talking on the phone or in person, so you can really make her feel a lot of attraction for you.
Don’t worry about her new guy.
He is with your girl.
Take her back.
Don’t waste anymore time sitting around thinking things like, “I think my ex wants me back but she has a boyfriend, so I can’t make a move on her. If I do try to make a move, she might get angry with me and cut off all communication and then I’ll never be able to get her back. So, it’s probably better if I just remain in the background and hopefully she will eventually realize that I’m the guy she loves. She will then give me a clear sign that she wants me back and I’ll make a move.”
You can do that if you want, but after helping guys with this area of life for many years now, I can tell you that it’s not the best idea to just sit back and wait.
What often happens to guys who sit back and wait is that the girl breaks up with her new guy and gets into a relationship with another guy.
She is never really available to get back with her ex, who is just waiting in the background.
Alternatively, rather than getting into another relationship after the first one ends, she goes out to party, hook up with new guys and enjoy the single life.
After a while, her ex becomes a distant memory and she doesn’t really feel the need to go back to him.
Of course, he can still get her back at that point, but why wait that long if he wants her back right away?
If you want your ex back now or very soon, then get the job done.
Interact with her and make her feel attracted to the new and improved you on a phone call, or in person.
Mess with her feelings for the new guy, so she is feeling more attracted to you and wanting to see you again.
When you approach it that way, you can get her back right away or very quickly and then decide if you want to keep her after enjoying a new relationship with her for a while.
On the other hand, if you wait, you stand the risk of losing her forever (e.g. she decides to get married to her new boyfriend, becomes pregnant to him, or meets another guy and gets really serious with him).
So, give her a call.
When talking to her on the phone (or in person by the way), don’t waste time pretending you just want to be her innocent, non-sexual friend.
You’ve got to actively create a sexual vibe between you and her, not a friendly, neutral vibe.
How can you do that?
By flirting with her.
Flirt (verb): Behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, but for amusement rather than with serious intentions.
For example: She arrives at the catch up and is looking sex.
What do you say?
Do you tell her that she looks “nice”?
You flirt with her by telling her that she looks, “sexy.”
Say something like, “Wow, look at you. Someone is looking sexy today. How am I going to be able to concentrate on what we’re talking about when you’re looking this sexy?” and then have a laugh with her.
Another example is if she asks, “So, are you seeing anyone at the moment?” and you answer with something like, “Of course I am. She’s sitting at that table over there, keeping an eye on you.”
When she then looks at the table, you can say, “Just kidding. I wouldn’t allow her do that…but, anyway, yes, I am seeing someone.”
How is that flirting?
Flirting is where you are trying to attract someone, but not with serious intentions.
You’re just messing around.
You have just attracted your ex by displaying confidence and humor, both of which are highly attractive to women.
So, you are attracting her just for fun.
You’re being playful in how you approach the interaction, rather than taking it all so seriously.
By the way…
Not only is flirting fun for both men and women (it’s not fun for men who don’t know how to do it. They hate it and see it as unnecessary because they don’t know how powerful it is), but it’s also one of the quickest ways to break down the walls of anger and mistrust between you and your ex.
Flirting with her also allows her to feel attracted, without worrying that it means she’s doing anything wrong (e.g. cheating on her boyfriend).
Remember: Flirting can be played with for amusement, rather than serious intentions.
What’s interesting though is that when your ex is feeling attracted due to the flirting, she then starts to have doubts about her feelings for her new boyfriend.
She starts to wonder, “Why am I feeling this way about my ex? I thought I was over him, but now I’m not so sure anymore. What about my new boyfriend? I’m not sure how I feel about him right now. Maybe I should just go with how I feel. I want to hug my ex…I want to kiss him.”
That’s what you want her thinking and feeling.
So, don’t be afraid to flirt with her and make her feel romantically and sexually attracted to you again.
Don’t make the mistake of just acting like a nice, neutral, polite friend to her.
Another tip is to…
3. Hook up with her sexually, or at least get to a kiss
Imagine that meet up with your ex to have a quick coffee and say hello in person.
You reawaken her feelings of respect and attraction (e.g. by making her laugh and smile, flirting with her, making her feel like a feminine woman around you), so she naturally begins to view you in a more positive light.
She may even begin to think things like, “He’s so different now. I really like the new him. It’s so much fun to be around him now. If I wasn’t seeing another guy right now, I would definitely consider getting back together again for real. Maybe I should just kiss him to see how I feel.”
Even though she might be feeling that way, if she’s like most women, she won’t necessarily make the first move to make the kiss happen.
So, if you get a sense that she’s feeling very attracted to you (e.g. she keeps touching you on the hand or leg, she keeps licking her lips while looking at you, she touches you often), go ahead and try to hook up with her sexually.
Don’t say something like, “Let’s go to my place” if you think she will freak out and worry that it would mean she is cheating on the new guy.
Instead, build up the desire by first getting a hug.
Once you’ve done that, get to another hug and follow through with a kiss.
Then, depending on how she responds, go to your place or her place to hook up sexually.
By the way…
If she doesn’t want to hook up with you sexually, don’t worry or stress out about it.
Just make sure that you continue to use every interaction you have with her from now on (e.g. via text or e-mail, on social media, and especially over the phone and in person) to build on her feelings of respect and sexual attraction for you.
The more you do that, the more doubts she will have about her new relationship and the more drawn to you she will become.
You can then hook up with her the next time you catch up with her.
However, don’t chicken out during the first catch up if she is giving you signals.
Be a man about it and reclaim your woman.
Where Guys Go Wrong. 4 Mistakes to Avoid Making if You Want Your Ex Back
If you think your ex wants you back (even though she has a boyfriend), then you should be able to get her back quite easily and quickly.
To ensure that happens, avoid making one or more of the following mistakes…
1. Waiting and hoping that she will eventually break up with him one day
A guy will sometimes wait for months and possibly even years for his ex’s relationship to end, so he can hopefully get another chance with her.
During that time, he won’t really be interested in other women because he doesn’t want to get caught up in a relationship and miss out on getting his ex back.
So, he will try to distract himself with hobbies, work and other interests to kill time and be available for his ex, should she become single again.
Yet, while he is doing that, he is slowly losing confidence in himself and his ability to attract other women.
After many months, he may start thinking things like, “Well, I guess she didn’t want me back after all. She might have realized that her new boyfriend was a much better catch than me. I’m such a loser. I’m never going to find a quality woman like her again. I just want her back. I don’t want any other woman. Maybe I should call her to see if she’s still open to me. Maybe it’s not too late.”
Then, when he interacts with her (i.e. calls her out of the blue after months and months of silence), he just doesn’t have that edge or special something anymore (e.g. high level of confidence, the balls to joke around with her in a manly way and make her feel girly and feminine) to properly re-attract her.
As a result, she doesn’t feel enough attraction and respect for him and she places him in the friend zone.
Alternatively, she says that it’s been nice to hear from him, but she is happy now and doesn’t see him and her ever getting back together.
Don’t let that happen to you.
Your best chance of getting your ex back is to take action now, rather than sitting around and waiting for something to hopefully happen.
What should you do if you take action now?
Actively reawaken her feelings of respect, attraction, and love for you when you interact with her via text, e-mail, on social media, on a phone call and in person.
The more present and active you are in her life in an attractive way (not just as a friend, or in an unattractive way), the more confused she will become about her new relationship and the faster you and her can get back together.
On the other hand, if you ignore her, there’s nothing to stop her from falling deeply in love with her new boyfriend and getting engaged, married or having a baby with him.
Is that what you want?
If you are cool with that, then you should focus on getting a new woman.
If you don’t want that to happen to her and you want her back, then you should focus on getting her back asap.
Get the job done, get her back, enjoy a new relationship with her and then decide what you want to do from there.
Another mistake to avoid making is…
2. Being too neutral via text
Some guys mistakenly hope that by staying on a woman’s mind as a friend, she will eventually come back to him.
For example: He might send her regular texts like, “Hey, how was your day?” or “Hope you had a nice weekend,” or “On my way to work and I just wanted to say hello. Have a great day!”
What he doesn’t realize is that just because she hasn’t blocked him and seems to be receiving his texts (or is sometimes replying to tem), it doesn’t mean that she’s feeling anything more than friendly, neutral feelings.
In reality, she might actually be feeling sorry for him for not being able to move on, laughing at his texts and showing them to her boyfriend or girlfriends, or just rolling her eyes and ignoring him as much as possible.
She might reply with a, “Good thanks”, or a, “You too! ☺“ but that doesn’t mean she is actually feel attracted to him and missing him.
She might just be willing to be nice to him because she’s a good woman, or because she fears that he might become angry and seek to hurt her or the new guy.
So, make sure that when you text your ex, you flirt with her and make her feel attracted, rather than sending her neutral texts and hoping things will somehow change.
Another mistake to avoid making is…
3. Hesitating to push for a meet up
Sometimes a guy will get to the point where he’s just too afraid to push for a meet up with his ex, in case she says “No,” or stops talking to him completely.
He might also be worried that the new guy will get angry, or demand that she stop talking to him.
Not knowing how else to approach the situation, he then spend weeks or even months texting back and forth with his ex, in the hopes that one day she will say, “Hey, let’s meet up! I want to see you in person.”
Yet, rather than saying that, she either stops replying, blocks him or eventually asks him to stop.
Here’s the thing…
In most cases, if a woman is already in a new relationship, she is usually going to stick with it unless her ex can make her feel enough attraction to justify leaving the new guy and coming back to him.
To make her feel enough attraction, you have to get past just text or phone interactions.
You’ve got to meet up with her in person, so she can feel attracted to your body language, vibe, attitude and how you now react and respond to her.
In other words, feel attracted to the new and improved version of you.
So, don’t be afraid to push for an in person meet up.
Make it happen.
Another mistake to avoid is…
4. Over analyzing her signs of interest
Sometimes a guy might hang on to his ex’s every word and gesture in an attempt to understand her feelings for him.
For example: If she says, “We used to have fun. I miss those days,” he may then wonder, “Does that mean she wants me back? Does it mean she’s unhappy with her new boyfriend?”
He then drives himself crazy trying to determine where he stands with her.
Yet, here’s the thing…
Maybe your ex wants you back and maybe she doesn’t.
The truth is, it doesn’t matter what she is currently thinking because her thinking can be changed when you interact with her and re-attract her.
So don’t waste any more time over-analyzing what she has been saying and doing.
Instead, focus instead on actively making her feel respect and attraction for you again.
That’s what really matters.
If you’re not doing anything to actively get her back and are simply hoping that she gives you a clear sign, you may be waiting for a long time and possibly forever.
However, if you meet up with her and fully reawaken her feelings of respect and sexual attraction for you again, you will almost certainly get what you want.
She will dump her boyfriend and be your girl once again.