Here are 8 of the most common reasons why a guy will long for an ex girlfriend who dumped him:
1. She shattered his optimistic view of relationships when she dumped him
Sometimes, a guy assumes that his girlfriend will be his woman for life because…
- She loved him so much initially when the relationship began.
- She knows how much she means to him, so she wouldn’t just leave him and risk never finding another guy who loves her so much.
- They’ve been through a lot as a couple (e.g. falling in love, becoming close and connected, opening up and sharing childhood issues or struggles, supporting each other through difficult times, possibly moving in together).
- He would never think about dumping her and only wants to be with her.
- She once said that she’d never leave him.
- He doesn’t realize that she was an individual before meeting him, is an individual in the relationship and will be an individual if she leaves him. In other words, he never really ‘owns’ her or ‘has’ her. She is simply deciding to be with him as an individual and can decide otherwise at any moment.
In cases like those, a guy will often be so sure about her commitment to him and the strength of the relationship that he’ll miss the subtle signs suggesting she isn’t in love with him anymore, or is getting ready to leave him.
For example: She gradually becomes more closed off and distant, but rather than him thinking that there is a problem he needs to fix, he just writes it off to her being an emotional woman, assumes she’s going through a phase, or is stressed because of her work/studies.
Alternatively, she begins to increasingly nag him about certain things (e.g. not pulling his weight around the house, not focusing enough on his work or studies, not being manly enough in his behavior, being too insecure or jealous), which he either ignores or assumes she’ll get over.
He doesn’t realize she could decide to leave him at any moment, despite all they’ve been through as a couple, so he doesn’t really do anything to change or improve.
As a result, she eventually dumps him.
Some guys become bitter after being dumped like that (i.e. because they feel betrayed), or become closed up in future relationships (e.g. because they don’t want to risk opening up and being heartbroken again).
Yet, feeling and acting that way only leads to further breakups and heartbreaks in the future, because women don’t like it when a man is too emotionally closed up, or isn’t able to give his full trust due to being heartbroken in the past.
So, he experiences breakup after breakup and naturally ends up longing for his ex girlfriend.
Alternatively, he doesn’t date new women, remains single and longs for his ex girlfriend because he assumes life would have been perfect if she didn’t dump him.
It wouldn’t have been.
The reality is that a woman won’t stick with a guy if he doesn’t understand how to maintain her attraction, love and respect and keep a relationship together.
It doesn’t matter how well things started off, or how in love she seemed at one point.
All that matters is how you make her feel now and what she imagines about a future with you.
If she continually feels turned off in the now and imagines a miserable, unhappy future, she will simply want to leave the relationship and start again.
2. He hasn’t been able to attract women of her quality since the breakup
In some cases, a guy will ‘get lucky’ and attract a high quality woman as his girlfriend.
Basically, women like her don’t usually show interest in him, let alone want to be with him.
Yet, with her, she did show interest and he managed to get her to become his girlfriend because she made it easy and went along with it, rather than being difficult, rejecting him or overlooking him like quality women usually do.
That’s called getting lucky and for most guys, it rarely happens with a high quality woman such as your girlfriend.
When it does happen, a guy usually stuffs up the relationship because he doesn’t actually know how to attract women to him in the first place, or how to maintain a woman’s love, respect and attraction in a long term relationship (e.g. he becomes insecure, clingy, needy or overly protective).
So, the woman almost always dumps him within a few months or years, or she marries him and then divorces him, or cheats on him and then divorces him.
It’s a horrible experience for a man and in the end, it doesn’t feel like he got lucky at all.
Instead, he feels like he got screwed over, big time.
In terms of a guy getting dumped by a girlfriend that he got lucky with, he will often find that after the breakup, he is unable to attract women like her at all.
As a result, he naturally longs for his ex girlfriend.
3. Other women don’t make him feel the same way she did
For example: His ex girlfriend made him feel safe to relax and be his true self with her.
She accepted all his unique, quirky or weird characteristics and personality traits and even seemed to love those things about him (initially anyway).
Now that he’s single again, he has noticed that other women don’t understand those things about him and possibly even make him feel uncomfortable about it, or like he has to hide that side of himself around them.
Alternatively, a guy’s ex girlfriend made him feel confident and self-assured when around her, whereas other women make him feel awkward, insecure, odd or strange.
As a result, he can’t stop himself from longing for his ex girlfriend and wanting her back and in many cases, he will feel that way for decades of his life, regardless of whether he eventually settles down and marries another woman.
In the back of his mind, he will always wish he could have just gotten one more chance with his ex girlfriend.
So, if you want your ex girlfriend back, do something about it while you still can.
Go through the steps of how to get an ex back and give yourself one more chance to be with her.
If you don’t want to get her back, then understand this…
You will have a unique experience with each woman you meet, date or have a relationship with throughout your life.
No woman will ever make you feel the same way your ex girlfriend did.
You can still experience love and be happy, but it won’t be the same.
If you’re okay with that, then focus on finding a new, quality girlfriend.
If you’re not, then get her back while you still can.
Another reason why a guy will long for his ex girlfriend is…
4. He felt proud to be her boyfriend
Being with an attractive woman can boost a man’s confidence and make him feel like a success.
It can also boost his ego and make him believe that he is good enough for attractive women.
As a result, it can then make him feel as though he has a girlfriend that he deserves.
He’s not like other guys.
He gets hot girls and his particular hot girl loves him and he’s happy with her.
In most cases, a guy will also feel confident and proud when introducing her to friends or family, or when out in public (e.g. at a restaurant, cinema, out shopping, etc).
He notices that other guys look at his girlfriend and want her, which then makes him feel like ‘the man’ because he’s got her.
Yet, when she dumps him, she takes all those enjoyable feelings away from him in an instant.
As a result, not only does he have to deal with the stinging pain of being dumped by a woman he loves, but also ends up feeling embarrassed, ashamed or disappointed about how his friends and family will now look at him.
He might even wonder if they’ll secretly pity him for losing her, or think less of him now because he wasn’t able to keep the relationship together.
Naturally, thinking in those ways leads to him missing his ex girlfriend, longing for her and wishing that she’d come back to him.
5. He still feels betrayed by her
At some point in most boyfriend-girlfriend relationships, the woman will tell her boyfriend that she wants to be with him for life, grow old with him, have a family with him, or be by his side for life.
Essentially, she’ll give him the impression that he has her and that will never change.
Unfortunately, a lot of guys don’t realize that when a woman makes an emotional promise, it’s not guaranteed.
She will only stick to the promise if her feelings don’t change.
If a guy doesn’t realize that, he will often believe that she’ll be his for life and never go back on her word.
Yet, when she falls out of love with him, or loses too much respect or attraction for him to want to stick with the relationship, she will then break up with him.
He will then feel betrayed, shocked and in some cases, very angry at her for doing that to him.
He might also wonder if her love for him was ever actually real, or just a big lie and a fake act by her for a while.
In most cases, she wasn’t lying though.
It felt right when she said it (i.e. that she loved him and wanted to be with him forever), but eventually, her feelings changed and she then wanted out of the relationship.
That can really hurt a guy and make him feel betrayed because he has kept his promise to her (i.e. he promised to always love her and never leave her).
Yet, she just walked away and didn’t really look back.
As a result, he ends up longing for the love they shared, wanting her back and struggling to move on.
6. He still hasn’t been able to accept the rejection
By not accepting her rejection, he remains in a lonely limbo (i.e. hanging out at home, feeling sorry for himself, not making progress in his dating life).
He also prevents himself from becoming clear-headed enough to accept the rejection, figure out how to reverse the breakup and then get her back.
Here’s the thing…
The more time you spend longing for her and not doing anything about it, the more time she has to date new guys and fully get over you.
Is that what you really want?
Do you want her to be done with you forever?
Do you really want to just ignore your last chance with her?
If your answer is “No,” then the most important step right now is to stop dwelling on how much you’re longing for her and start looking at the solution.
What is the solution?
Prepare yourself to interact with her and reactivate her feelings of love, respect and attraction.
Then, do that and reconcile the relationship while you still can.
Don’t wait longer than you need to.
7. He still doesn’t believe he deserved to be dumped like that
For example: A guy believes that he was the perfect boyfriend to her (e.g. he was nice, supportive, attentive, let her get her way most of the time, was very sweet and understanding), only to be dumped by her anyway.
Naturally, he won’t feel as though he deserves that type of treatment from her.
It will seem unfair.
Yet, although he truly believes he didn’t deserve what happened, what a guy like that usually doesn’t realize, is that being nice to a woman and letting her have her way all the time or most of the time, isn’t what makes her feel happy and want to stick with a relationship for life.
A woman might appreciate that her boyfriend is a good guy, but to feel motivated to stick with him, she wants him to make her feel as though she needs to do her best to keep him happy and interested in her as well.
It can’t be one-sided.
In other words, she wants him to be more of a challenge, so she actually feels the need to put in some effort to maintain his interest and impress him.
If he can’t offer her that, she will naturally feel bored and want to find a man who understands what women really want in a relationship.
Important: Women will rarely admit this, but all you have to do is look at women who are the happiest and most in love in relationships with men.
What you’ll find is that the guy brings out the best in her, by making her feel the need to be attractive to him, impress him and treat him well.
On the other hand, women who are unhappy in relationships are with a guy who eventually brings out the worst in her (i.e. she becomes selfish, cold, mean, unattractive in her behavior and doesn’t show him the respect he wants).
So, if a guy is very nice to a woman and assumes he is being the perfect boyfriend, only to then be dumped by her, it can result in him feeling as though he doesn’t deserve to be treated in that way.
Yet, the reality is that it will happen to him again and again in the future with other women, which can lead him to yearn for his ex girlfriend and wish he could just go back in time and be with her again.
Alternatively, if he tries to get his ex girlfriend back right now, but she senses that he still doesn’t get it, then she will reject him and continue moving on without him.
He might then never figure out why she doesn’t feel the same way he does and always wish he could just get her to love him the way he loves her.
He can, but he has to change his approach with her.
He has to become the challenge she needs, rather than giving her everything and expecting love, devotion and respect in return.
That’s not how women work.
Women give you love, devotion and respect when you make them feel the way they want to feel.
8. He knows that he could be a better boyfriend if she just gave him another chance
Sometimes, the shock of getting dumped is exactly what a guy needs, in order to face up to the mistakes he made in the relationship and become a better, more emotionally mature man.
He suddenly realizes that the relationship would have worked if he had been the man that he has now become (or is becoming), which naturally results in him longing for another chance with her.
If only she would give him another chance, he could show her that things would be different (i.e. better) now.
Do you feel that way about your ex girlfriend?
Do you wish she’d just give you a chance to prove yourself? To prove that you’ve changed and things really will be different now?
If you do feel that way, then don’t sit around longing for her and not doing anything about it.
Get her back, while you still have a chance (i.e. before she gets married and starts a family).
She won’t be available forever, so take action now.
Get her back.
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