Here are 4 possible reasons why your said that she will now find happiness with another guy…
1. She can see that you haven’t changed
In most relationships, a woman doesn’t just decide to break up with her guy the first time he makes a mistake.
Instead, she will usually give her man multiple chances to change and improve himself before she decides to finally go through with the break up.
Unfortunately, many guys end up ignoring the warning signs from their woman until it’s too late.
For example: Sometimes, a guy will think, “She’s mad at me right now, but she loves me, so she will get over it. She knows that we are a good couple and there’s no reason to break up. She always forgives me and knows that I love her, so everything is fine.”
Yet, when he doesn’t change, she starts to lose respect for him and thinks something like, “No matter what I say or do, it never seems to get through to him. If he does change, he only changes for a little while and then once things have calmed down between us, he reverts back to his old behavior again. He’s taking me and my love for granted. I shouldn’t be putting up with this. I think I have to break up with him.”
Then, before he knows it, she breaks up with him and he realizes that she wasn’t bluffing after all.
She was serious and it had gotten so bad that she eventually decided to just end the relationship.
Naturally, when a guy gets broken up with for this reason, his first instinct is to usually rush into saying and doing whatever he thinks will convince his ex to give him another chance (e.g. he promises her that he really has changed this time, tells her how much he loves her, breaks down and cries to her).
Initially, she might feel sorry for him and decide to at least meet up with him one more time to see if he’s improved since the break up, or if he now understands how to make a woman feel happy and in love in a relationship.
Yet, if she meets up with him and realizes that he hasn’t changed (e.g. he appears insecure and self-doubting when he’s around her, he still reacts in the same way as he did before when she says or does something to press his buttons), then she will close off from him and do her best to move on as quickly as possible.
She may then think something like, “I was hoping that this time would be different, but once again, nothing about him has really changed. I’m not going to fall for his empty promises anymore. I don’t believe that he can change, or even that he wants to change. He’s a lost cause and I will simply have to find happiness with another guy. It sucks, but that is life. I have to try to move on.”
The guy is then devastated and can’t understand why she won’t give him another chance.
Here’s the thing though…
If you want your ex to give you another chance, the first step is to make some changes to yourself to attract her in the ways that are important to her (e.g. you’re are so much more confident and emotionally strong now, you’re more supportive of her dreams and ambitions, you’re more emotionally masculine and as a result, she feels like an attractive woman around you rather than a neutral friend).
When she experiences the changes in you first hand (i.e. on a phone call or in person), she naturally drops her guard and opens up to giving the relationship another chance, rather than looking to find happiness with another guy.
On the other hand, if you keep trying to get her back without changing the things that matter to her, she will just keep pushing you away and saying things like, “I’m sorry, but it’s over. We had our chance and it didn’t work. You need to accept that and move on.”
Another possible reason why your may have said that she will find happiness with another guy, is…
2. You were trying to get her back by ignoring her and it has backfired
Sometimes a guy might think to himself, “She’s being so unreasonable at the moment that she won’t even give me a chance to explain to her what went wrong. Maybe if I ignore her for a few weeks or a month or two, she will start missing me and then when her defenses come down, we can discuss out relationship and how we can work things out again.”
He then cuts off all contact with his ex and ignores her for 30 or 60 days, in the hopes that this will convince her to give him another chance.
Yet that rarely, if ever works.
In almost all cases, if a woman has disconnected from her feelings for a guy, him ignoring her for a month will only add more negative feelings (e.g. anger, annoyance, resentment) to her already volatile emotions.
Rather than making her think, “OMG! I miss him so much! Why is he ignoring me? I can’t deal with this! Is it possible that he’s over me? Now that he’s not in my life anymore, I’ve realized how much I still care for him. I don’t want to lose him! I must contact him right away and get him back before it’s too late,” she will instead be thinking something like, “So, now he’s ignoring me? How childish and immature. By not contacting me, he’s showing me how little he cares about my feelings. He might not realize it, but he’s actually doing me a favor by giving me the time and space to get over him and move on. He’s not the right man for me, so I need to focus on moving on and finding happiness with another guy.”
As a result, by the time he contacts her again (after 30 or 60 days), she’s usually built up so many walls to protect herself that she doesn’t even want to talk to him over the phone anymore.
A guy might then ask himself, “Why has this happened? What did I do wrong? Why isn’t she running back to me? I thought she would miss me like crazy if I didn’t contact her. Did I mean anything to her? How could she just stop caring?”
The reason why is that he didn’t do anything to reawaken her feelings of sexual and romantic attraction for the new and improved him, so she didn’t have anything to miss.
She was turned off by him and wanted out of the relationship leading up to the break up and was also turned off by his reaction to her breaking up with him, so she no longer thought of him in a positive way.
She was easily able to remember the bad times and the reasons why she broke up with him and it stuck with her.
He didn’t do anything to change it either.
He simply ignored her and hoped that her negative feelings for him fade away enough over time, to the point where should eventually want him back.
Yet, here’s the thing…
For a man to get a woman back after the break up of a serious relationship, he almost always needs to be active, rather than passive about it.
Sometimes a guy can get his ex woman by just waiting (about 5% of cases), but pretty much every guy loses his ex girlfriend or wife forever by cutting off contact and waiting.
This is why I always recommend that a guy be active about the ex back process, rather than being passive (i.e. at least interact with her on the phone or in person and actively make her feel strong surges of respect, attraction and love for the man he has become since the break up).
If he just ignores her for a month or two and then tries to get her back, she will either have moved on already, or she will be over it and won’t want to reopen old wounds.
Another possible reason why your ex said that she will find happiness with another guy, is…
3. You took her for granted and now she wants to hurt you by moving on and being happy
Sometimes a guy makes the mistake of believing that the love between him and his woman will last for life because it was so good at the start of their relationship.
Yet, that’s not how a relationship between a man and a woman works.
For a woman’s feelings of respect, attraction and love to grow, develop and strengthen over time, she needs to know that she is loved and appreciated all the time, not just at the beginning of the relationship.
For example: At the start of a relationship, a guy might have been very loving and attentive towards his woman.
He may have told her that he loved her, told her that she’s beautiful and that he appreciates the efforts she puts in to look attractive for him.
She will have felt appreciated, loved and wanted.
Yet, over time, he began to take her efforts for granted and just expected that she look good, treat him well and remain in his life because things used to great between them.
A guy like that may think, “She already knows how I feel about her, so why do I have to remind her about it? She’ll probably get tired of me repeating myself like that all the time and she may even think I’m being needy and insecure.”
However, in most relationships, a woman rarely gets tired of hearing her man tell her that he loves and appreciates her, or how beautiful he thinks she is.
Of course, there are some guys who can go overboard with compliments to the point where they come across as being needy and insecure.
Yet, that doesn’t mean a guy should avoid complimenting or appreciating his woman.
The fact is that if a guy shows genuine affection and appreciation towards his woman when appropriate (e.g. she’s dressed up to go out, she’s cooked a special meal for him), it will make her feelings of respect, attraction and love for him grow stronger over time.
On the other hand, if a woman starts feeling taken for granted by her guy, she will begin to feel resentful and gradually disconnect from her feelings of love for him.
Initially, she might drop hints about his lack of emotional support, in the hopes that he will pick up on her unhappiness and make some changes.
However, if he doesn’t change, she will eventually break up with him and look for another guy who can give her the love that she needs to feel happy, loved and appreciated in a relationship.
Another possible reason why your ex might have said that she will find happiness with another guy, is…
4. She wasn’t able to be happy in the relationship with you
Sometimes a woman might get into a relationship with a guy because the sex between them is really great and he’s fun to hang out with.
Then, over time, she comes to realize that the only thing that was holding them together was the initial spark of a new romance and that deep down, they’re actually not compatible in the things that matter to her.
For example: A woman might want to pursue her career and then once she’s established herself professionally, settle down and start a family, but her boyfriend (husband) might be the kind of guy who likes to go with the flow and doesn’t believe in being tied down, either professionally or emotionally.
Alternatively, a woman might be very close to her friends and family and likes to spend time interacting with them on a regular basis.
Her boyfriend (or husband) on the other hand is a loner and resents it when she takes time away from hanging out as a couple to hang out with her friends, or visit her family.
As a result of these differences, the love between them doesn’t develop over time and instead starts to fade away.
When a woman realizes that even though she felt attracted to her man initially, she now feels as though she can’t fully relax and be herself with him and that she doesn’t feel happy anymore, she will begin to doubt her ability to stick with him for life.
Here’s the thing…
Most women know that being compatible with each other is essential for a relationship to last for life.
It’s not enough for them to feel attracted sexually or have fun when together, but then disagree on the more fundamental issues that keep a relationship together for life.
4 Mistakes to Avoid Making if Your Ex Said She Will Find Happiness With Another Guy
Hearing your ex say that she will find happiness with another guy definitely will hurt.
You might end up imagining her having sex with the new guy, being in love and enjoying herself so much that she will never want to come back to you.
As a result, you might feel a bit desperate to convince her to give you another chance, before it’s too late.
Yet, approaching the ex back process in a desperate way just doesn’t work when it comes to women.
You’ve got to gain control of your emotions and do this properly.
So, to ensure that you successfully get your ex back, first make sure that you avoid making one or more of the following mistakes…
1. Telling her that no guy will ever love her as much as you do
In the hope of changing her mind, a guy will sometimes say something like, “You can try to find happiness with another guy, but I promise you, no man will ever love you the way I do. Right now, you might be angry with me, but the truth is that I love you more than anything and it kills me that you don’t seem to care. Yes, I made mistakes, but I’m willing to do anything to make it up to you and be the man you want me to be. Do you think another guy will love you like that? I doubt it! No one will ever love you as much as I do. I love you more than I love myself.”
Essentially, he’s hoping by saying that to her, she will fear that she won’t ever be able to find a man who loves her as much as he does and is as dedicated to her as he is.
Yet, rather than making her come running back to him, it just makes her more determined to move on and prove him wrong.
The next mistake to avoid is…
2. Asking her to remember the good times and forget about the recent bad times
Although it would be nice if you could make your ex feel attracted to you again simply by bringing up all the good times that you and her shared together, it just doesn’t work that way.
When a woman has disconnected from her feelings of respect, attraction and love for a guy, being reminded of how good things used to be just highlights to her how bad things are right now, or how bad things became near the end.
If you want to convince your ex that she can be happy with you again and get her back, you have to actively make her have feelings for you based on who you are now.
What happened between you in the past doesn’t count anymore.
How you make her feel right now and from now on is what really counts.
So, don’t bother wasting time rehashing all the good times from the past and focus on building new, happy memories now.
The next mistake to avoid is…
3. Not actively making her feel sparks of sexual and romantic attraction
No matter how much you try to convince your ex that you can make her happy again, she’s not going to believe you unless you re-spark her feelings for you first.
Where a lot of guys go wrong is by thinking that if they hang around their ex long enough and pretend to be her nice, platonic friend (i.e. he’s not interested in getting her back), she will eventually think something alike, “Wow, I never realized what a great guy he really is. All this time, he’s been here for me and he’s never once pushed me to get back together again. That makes me want to be his girl again. He deserves it!” and rush back into his arms.
It just doesn’t work that way.
If a woman has lost touch with her feelings of respect and attraction for a guy, she’s not going to change her mind just because he’s being nice to her and isn’t pushing her to get back together again.
Instead, she’ll usually accept his friendship and all the perks that come with that (e.g. he’s available to help her run errands, she has a shoulder to cry on when she feels down, she has an emergency date when she needs one), while in the background, she will continue to move on by finding herself another guy that she can have a happy and fulfilling relationship with.
So, if you want to get your ex back, it’s essential that you actively make her feel sparks of sexual and romantic attraction for you whenever you interact with her.
If you don’t reawaken her feelings, she will almost certainly move on and find happiness with another guy and you’ll end up thinking, “How did this happen? I thought she was changing her mind about us! We were getting along so well. What happened?”
What happened is that her ex guy just made her feel friendly feelings, which isn’t enough to make most women come back into a sexual, romantic relationship.
In almost all ex back cases, a guy needs to actively spark and reawaken her sexual and romantic feelings based on the way he now talks to her, behaves around her and gets her to behave around him.
The next mistake to avoid is…
4. Becoming clingy and needy
When a woman says that she will find happiness with another guy, her ex might start feeling a bit insecure about himself as a man.
He may begin to wonder, “Why is she saying that? Was I not man enough for her? What will I do without her? Will I ever be able to get another woman like her? Maybe I won’t. I have to get her back. I’ll never find someone like her again. I have to try to convince her not to move on. I have to get her to understand how much I love her and want her back.”
However, the big problem with thinking in an insecure way like that, is that it automatically begins to change a man’s behavior and actions.
For example: He will find that, all of a sudden, he can’t stop himself from becoming clingy or needy (e.g. he bombards her with texts to stay on her mind, he keeps asking, “Are you seeing anyone else yet?” or he keeps coming up with excuses to call her or even see her).
Although he may tell himself that he has good reasons for texting, calling or showing up at her place uninvited, the fact is this type of behavior makes a woman pull away even more.
Insecurity, clinginess and neediness are not qualities that women find attractive in men.
Rather than make a woman think, “He’s really taking our break up badly. This just proves to me that he must really love me. Maybe I should give him one more chance because he clearly needs it,” she will usually just think something like, “I thought he was emotionally stronger than this when I first started dating him. What happened to him? Why did he change into an insecure, needy guy who can’t accept that it’s over between us? If he thinks this kind of behavior is going to make me change my mind about being broken up though, he’s sadly mistaken. If anything else, he’s just convinced me that I really do need to move on and find happiness with another guy. He’s just not the type of man I can look up to, respect and love for life. He doesn’t know how to be the kind of man I need. I don’t want to wait any longer for him to hopefully learn that and be it. He’s just going to have to deal with losing me. I’m going to have to find a guy who knows how to make me happy.”
Here’s the thing…
If you want your ex to see you as a better option to any other guy, you need to show her via the way you now talk, act, think, behave and interact with her that you are now the kind of man she always wanted you to be.
Don’t say, “Look, I’ve changed! Please give me another chance.”
That doesn’t work because it comes across as desperate and gives her too much power over you, which she doesn’t want.
Instead, you have to let her experience it for herself when she talks to you on a phone call, or in person.
When she realizes that she can respect you, feel attracted to you and love you again, her desire to find a new guy will fade away.
You will be her number one option and she will feel compelled to explore that option and see how it goes.
Then, as long as you know how to keep the relationship together, she is going to be yours once again.
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