If your girlfriend is changing and is no longer treating you the way she did at the beginning of the relationship, it could mean that:
- You have stopped making her feel enough attraction for you, so she is losing interest in being in a relationship with you.
- She’s starting to want to be single (e.g. her girlfriends have recently become single and have been having a lot of fun partying and meeting new guys).
- You have been behaving in a way that has caused her to lose respect for you, so she is beginning to change her attitude towards you and her perception of you.
- You and her are simply transitioning to a new stage of the relationship and are past the initial puppy love stage.
- She is growing up and doesn’t want to think, feel, behave and act like she did when you and her first got together.
- She is just pulling back her interest to test your confidence and emotional security. If you become insecure, she will lose respect and attraction for you.
What you need to understand is that you have a lot of direct control over how much or little attraction your girlfriend feels for you.
For example: If a guy is being insecure and clingy around his girlfriend, then she is naturally going to feel turned off by him because women are attracted to the emotional strength in men (e.g. confidence, high self-esteem, determination to succeed) and turned off by the weakness (e.g. insecure, low self-esteem, defeatist attitude, etc).
So, if you’re currently not making your girlfriend feel enough attraction for you and have slipped into thinking, behaving or acting in an unattractive way, make sure that you fix that immediately.
There’s only so long that a modern woman will put up with being with a guy whom she doesn’t respect, feel attracted to or love.
If she’s currently losing touch with her feelings for you, then it’s only a matter of time before she potentially breaks up with you.
Is Your Girlfriend Behaving in Any Of These Ways?
Although changes in a relationship are normal over time, if your girlfriend is behaving in any of the following ways, it’s a pretty certain sign that she’s losing interest in being in a relationship with you.
1. She doesn’t return your text messages or calls.
When a woman is in love, she will take any opportunity to stay in close contact with her man.
Short of being really busy with a huge project at work, or having a really heavy exam schedule, it is very rare for a woman to not reply to a message from her boyfriend.
If your girlfriend is not texting or calling you back and when you ask her about it she always makes lame excuses like, “Oops, sorry. I forgot” or “Don’t be so needy! I had things to do” or “My phone died,” then it is clear that she’s no longer feeling the same way about you a she did in the beginning.
If she is falling out of love with you, it’s important that you fix the problem now. Otherwise, it will eventually lead to either cheating or a break up.
2. She makes excuses not to see you.
Another clear sign that your girlfriend is losing interest in being in a relationship with you is when she makes excuses not to see you.
A woman in love will go out of her way to spend even a few minutes with her man. So, if your girlfriend is suddenly too busy to see you, she’s clearly losing interest in the relationship.
3. She makes excuses not to touch, kiss or have sex.
Physical attraction and expression is one of the key elements to a healthy and happy relationship.
If your girlfriend pulls away when you try to touch or kiss her, or she makes excuses not to have sex, like, “I’m really tired right now” “Now is not a good time” “You’re going to mess my hair” or “Is sex all you ever think about?” then she’s definitely no longer feeling the same level of attraction for you as she did in the beginning of your relationship.
However, be warned: Don’t start whining or sulking to her about her behavior. If you do, it will just turn her off even more.
You’ve got to focus on saying and doing the types of things that will make her feel respect, attraction and love for you.
She will become a better girlfriend to you if you can get a handle on that.
Another girlfriend behavior that can be a strong warning sign of a pending break up is…
4. She avoids making future plans with you.
In a relationship, it’s natural for a couple to want to make plans for the future together.
This doesn’t always have to be major plans like moving in together, getting married or having children, but when a woman is in love with a man, she likes the idea of knowing that they are moving forward in the same direction and are planning to be together in the long term.
If you find that your girlfriend won’t even commit to short term plans, like going with you to your brother’s wedding, or to your best friend’s birthday party that’s only a few months away; she is clearly not seeing herself sticking with the relationship for the long term.
Most Women Take a While to Make a Break Up Decision
A woman’s feelings for her boyfriend don’t change overnight.
It usually takes a while for a woman to lose enough respect and attraction that she eventually begins to fall out of love and believe that he isn’t capable of being the man that she wants and in needs in the long term.
So, if your girlfriend is losing interest in being with you and you want to turn things around and regain her respect, attraction and love, you must first understand what caused her feelings for you to change, and then take the appropriate action to fix those things.
Here are some questions to help you pinpoint where you might be going wrong with her:
- Have you been taking her for granted?
- Have you been neglecting her?
- Do you notice the efforts she makes to look nice for you?
- Do you take her into consideration when you make, or cancel, plans?
- Have you been clingy and insecure?
- Do you feel lucky to have her and fear losing her?
- Do you believe that if she breaks up with you, you won’t be able to get another quality girlfriend?
- Are you moving up through the levels of life like a real man, or are you using her and your relationship to hide from your true potential?
- Do you lead in the relationship, or are you letting your girlfriend wear the pants and make all the everyday decisions for you both?
When you offer your girlfriend what she really wants (not what you think she wants), she will feel understood and then open herself up again to feeling love for you again.
When You Give Her What She Wants Her Feelings Will Change Again
It’s easy to sit around moping and saying, “My girlfriend is changing” and worrying that you’re about to get dumped or go through a long, messy break up process.
Yet, it’s a waste of time to just focus on worrying.
The best way to approach this situation is to look at it as an opportunity to become an even better man than you are right now.
Start to improve the things that have been holding you back so far in life (e.g. a lack of self confidence, a fear of not being good enough, a lack of purpose in life, etc) and become an even better version of who you are.
When you do that, you will not only feel better about yourself, but your improved confidence, drive and determination to succeed in life will make your girlfriend feel more respect, attraction and love for you.
She will naturally begin to change and be a better, more loving and affectionate girlfriend to you.
That’s just how women are.