Some of the reasons why a wife might come to hate her husband are that:
- He lets her wear the pants in the marriage, so she no longer feels like a feminine woman around him.
- He has turned her off the idea of having sex with him.
- He doesn’t spend enough quality time with her.
- He has slowly destroyed the love that she once felt for him, rather than deepening her love for him over time.
- He hasn’t stuck to the promises he made when they first got married.
- He lacks purpose and direction in life, so she feels as though she needs to carry him rather than be supported by him.
- He has become annoying and insecure about her lack of affection for him, which is making her feel even less interested in being around him.
- He has become selfish in the way he approaches the relationship, compared to how sweet, caring and considerate he was when they first met.
- He isn’t making any effort to get the spark back in the marriage and expects her to just put up with it.
- He doesn’t know how to make her feel happy and excited to be in love with him anymore.
So, if you’ve been asking yourself, “Why does my wife hate me? and you can relate to any of the problems listed above, don’t worry – they are all fixable.
I know that those problems are fixable because I help new men everyday via my phone coaching service to either fix a problematic relationship before it gets to a break up, or to get a woman back after she has left.
So, if you want my help to fix your marriage before it falls apart, here are…
7 Ways to Turn Things Around and Get the Love Back on Track
If your wife currently hates you and you want to change that hatred into love, happiness and a renewed feeling of passion for each other, the following 7 tips should really help you…
1. Laugh and smile more, especially during times when you usually feel angry, stressed or frustrated.
Life can be very challenging at times.
It’s not always easy and success usually isn’t handed to us on silver platter.
We often have to work our butts off to get anywhere in life and even if you do a really good job, we can still encounter all sorts of obstacles and roadblocks along the way.
The same applies to a marriage between a man and a woman.
Regardless of how intelligent, wise or kind-hearted a couple are, they can still fall into the trap of taking life way too seriously to the point where they forget that it’s better to try to smile, laugh and be more light-hearted about things.
So, if your wife has gotten into the habit of getting angry, irritated, annoyed and stressed over little things, then as the man, you need to take on the role of leading the way to a better state of being.
When you interact with her about something that would normally cause you to get irritated, angry or frustrated, you need to force yourself to not follow that emotional path.
Instead, try to smile, relax and be more light-hearted about it. If possible, turn it into something to laugh about together.
For example: If a couple are on a tight budget and their car gets a flat tire and it will cost money to be replaced, they might want to get angry and feel stressed about it when they consider how the cost of fixing the tire will impact their lifestyle that month or for the next couple of months.
However, it’s not impossible in that moment to have the emotional strength to relax, smile and try to have a laugh and feel good about life anyway.
A husband might sarcastically say, “Oh well, this means that I won’t be able to buy beer this month, so I will lose a few pounds/kilos and get my six pack abs back. I’ll be beach body ready for the summer!”
Alternatively, he might say something like, “Okay, we’ll get this tire fixed and hopefully our luck will be good from now on. If so, we can put a little money away each month and go on a holiday near the end of the year. In the meantime, we will drive around on 3 wheels and have it scraping around and spitting out sparks…and we’ll create fires wherever we go” and then have a laugh about that together as a couple.
Essentially, just try to get into the habit of being able to smile, laugh and be light-hearted about things that would normally stress you and her out.
Lead the way to a better way of thinking, feeling and being from now on and she will love you and appreciate you for it.
2. Be a man that she can look up to and respect in every way.
Regardless of how intelligent, successful and independent a woman in, she still wants to be able to look up to her man and respect him.
She wants to be able to feel safe in the knowledge that her man is someone that she can rely on to be emotionally strong no matter life gets and he rely on him to follow through on his promises.
A woman’s respect is something that a man needs to earn and maintain over time. A man might be someone that she can look up to and respect for the first 5-10 of a marriage, but if he stops being that man and is no longer someone that she can look up to and rely on anymore, her respect for him will naturally begin to fade away.
For example: He might have initially been a confident guy for the first few years of the marriage, but he then becomes insecure, jealous, clingy or needy.
Alternatively, he might have said that he wants to be successful in life and work his butt off until he gets there, but a few years into the marriage, he gives up on his dreams, says that life is too hard and then settles for a mediocre life.
He might have said that he wants to have a close relationship with his family and her family, but over time, he continually talks badly about her family or creates problems in the family relationships.
So, if you want your wife to stop hating you and start loving you again, you need to make sure that you don’t lose focus of being a man that she can look up to and respect in every way.
The benefit of doing that is not only that you will then have a wife who respects you, loves you and appreciates you, but you also become a much more effective man in life.
It carries over into the workplace and into your relationships with friends and family, where people can look up to you, respect you and rely on you to be a strong, consistent man all the way.
3. Show her that you’re making improvements on the things that have been annoying her.
If your currently hates 5 different things about you (for example), it’s not going to be possible for you to completely fix all those things about yourself within 24 hours.
Just like her, you are also a human being and human beings usually take 1-2 months to fully develop a new habit or to overcome and replace a bad habit.
So, if a husband is in the habit of being irritable around his wife, then it’s usually going to take him 1-2 months to fully change that habit.
However, during those 30-60 days, he needs to show her that he is making some improvements on the things that he is trying to fix, overcome or replace.
For example: In times where he would usually get annoyed or irritable 100% of the time, he’s now only doing that 50% of the time or 30% of the time, which is a big improvement on the way to completely changing the bad habit.
A wife can then see that he is changing and improving and if her husband also explains to her that it can take 1-2 months to completely change a habit, she can then relax and allow that to happen rather than expecting him to change overnight.
4. Get back into the masculine, dominant position in your marriage.
Almost all women want to be with a man who is more masculine and dominant than they are.
There are some unusual women out there who like a pussy-whipped guy that they can control, but in most cases, such a dynamic leads to a lack of sexual in a relationship and a lack of respect shown to the man.
An example of this is a British woman named Kate Thompson, who only has sex with her husband once every 10 years…
In Kate’s own words:
“My husband is the kindest, most considerate man in the world. During the seven years we’ve been married, Ben has done most of the cooking, cleaning and ironing without ever being asked. And yes, he works full-time. And if you think I reward his sterling domestic efforts with treats in the bedroom, I’m afraid I fail in that department, too. Intimacy is reserved only for his birthdays – and then just the ones with a zero.
I am shamefully neglectful of my wifely duties. In fact, I am the anti-wife. The truth is that I’m just too busy and involved in my career as a writer to be a traditional, caring wife. The truth is that I’m in awe of the way he looks after me, our sons and our home. He makes my life easier.
Does that make me a selfish, slovenly, neglectful wife?” Probably – but it also makes me a happier one.” Kate Thompson
Regardless of what outspoken feminist women say on TV and in pop songs, almost all women want a man who is more confident, masculine and dominant than they are. If a woman does get stuck with a man who allows her to dominate him, she will simply lose respect for him and withhold sex.
I’ve heard of this happening time and time again when I’ve helped men via my phone coaching service. When you make a woman feel like the man, she loses her interest in having sex with you.
So, if you want your wife to stop hating you and start loving you, appreciating you and respecting you more, you need to put the pants back on your legs and let her relax into being a feminine woman.
Being a feminine woman essentially means that she is free to be emotional (e.g. be sad one minute and happy the next, throw an occasional tantrum, be irrational, be girly, etc), rather than having to think, behave, feel and act like you do (i.e. like a man).
To make your wife feel feminine around you, it’s absolutely essential that you think, feel, behave and take action in masculine way around her in life.
If you are just being neutral around your wife like a friend, then there’s no real space for her to be a very feminine woman around you. If she giggles like a girl for example, she will feel awkward because you’re not even that masculine, so her behavior will feel out of place or uncalled for.
It’s very important that you get the masculine/feminine dynamic right in your relationship, otherwise it will cause all sorts of fundamental problems between you that destroy your sexual desire for each other.
For example: If a man is very feminine around his woman (e.g. he is emotionally sensitive, acts a bit girly at times, is afraid of things that women are usually afraid of, etc), then she will naturally begin to slip into a more masculine energy and way of being around him.
So, if you want your wife to feel happy in her natural feminine state, you need take on the role of being the dominant, masculine one in your marriage.
Being dominant and masculine doesn’t mean that you boss her around, treat her like she’s a slave or like she’s a naïve young woman who needs a daddy figure in her life.
Instead, you simply take on the role of being the one who remains strong no matter how challenging life gets or how challenging she gets.
You don’t have to make all the decisions for both of you, but ultimately, a woman wants you to be present enough to make decisions that will lead to a better life for you and her.
For example: It doesn’t matter so much if you decide what to eat to dinner on Monday and she decides what to eat for the rest of the week, or if you choose a restaurant to eat at this week and she chooses next week.
That stuff really doesn’t matter.
Overall, all that a woman really wants to see is that her man cares enough to lead the way rather than being lazy, taking her for granted and expecting her to take on the role of a traditional man in the relationship.
5. Make her feel sexy in your eyes.
Have you ever seen those couples who are still madly in love and attracted to each other even after 30-40 years of a relationship or marriage?
This is only possible when a man is able to deepen his woman’s feelings of love, respect and attraction for him over time, while also making her feel like she’s the most sexiest woman on Earth in his eyes.
If he makes the mistake of taking her for granted and ruining her respect, attraction and love for him, then she’s not going to really care that he finds her sexy because she doesn’t find him appealing.
Likewise, if a man deepens his wife’s feelings of love, respect and attraction and then doesn’t really look at her as being sexy (i.e. he focuses on the negative aspects of her physical appearance, rather than basing his attraction for her on his love for her), then he’s not going to feel very attracted to her and their sex life will dry up.
However, if the man deepens her love, respect and attraction and then maintains the mindset of seeing his wife as the most beautiful, sexiest woman on Earth in his eyes, then both of them will feel good about having sex.
He will naturally flirt with her (e.g. spank her on the butt in the kitchen, complimenting her on how sexy she looks, trying to get an extra kiss, etc), which will make her laugh, giggle and feel more sexually confident around him.
She will be happy and excited that she is still able to make her husband (who she respects, feels attracted to and loves) feel turned on and attracted, even though she doesn’t look the way she did when they first met.
6. Stop being insecure.
As a man, one of the most important things that you can ever give a woman in a relationship is the gift of your continued emotional strength.
Women are naturally attracted to the emotional strength of men (e.g. confidence, high self-esteem, determination to succeed, etc) and turned off by the emotional weakness (e.g. insecurity, low self-esteem, defeatist attitude, etc).
In the past, a woman would put up with a man and stick with him for life no matter what because it was shameful to get divorced.
In today’s world, women are free to leave if they aren’t happy or if they find themselves stuck with a man who is either unwilling to change or incapable of changing.
So, if you’ve found yourself being insecure around your wife, you need to realize that we’re no longer living in the old days where a woman would put up with that for life. You’ve got to fix your insecurities as a man and become an emotionally strong man that she can rely on.
When in a relationship, a woman will always test her man’s level of emotional strength by teasing him, throwing a tantrum when he’s feeling emotionally vulnerable, picking on him and saying mean things to see how he reacts.
It sounds like a horrible thing for women to do, but it’s actually a very important part of what has made the human race so strong and resilient. Women push men to become emotionally stronger, rather than rewarding emotional weakness with love, respect, sex and devotion.
An emotionally weak man will explode with anger and feel betrayed by her for being so insensitive and disrespectful towards him, whereas a wiser, more emotionally strong man will simply laugh at her and her attempts to piss him off.
When she sees that he remains emotionally strong and secure no matter how much she tries to push his buttons, her respect, attraction and love for him deepens.
However, if he crumbles under pressure, she instinctively loses respect and attraction or him because women are hard-wired to ensure that they are coupled up with a man who can survive, thrive and prosper no matter how challenging life gets.
7. Get her feeling excited about new, mutual life goals.
After a couple achieves their initial life goals (e.g. get married, start a family, buy a house, raise the children, etc), they might find themselves feeling happy and content or confused and restless about what they should do with the rest of their life together.
If your wife is the sort of woman who wants to achieve more in life in addition to what you’ve already done together, then you need to be aware of that and begin to develop new, exciting, mutual life goals together.
If you sit down and discuss it together in a “dream big” type of conversation, you will no doubt come to a mutual goal that both of you are excited to work on achieving.
If only one of you are excited about it, then it will eventually lead to boredom, fights and potentially make you grow apart over time, so make sure that it’s something that both of you will feel excited, happy and proud to achieve over time.
If you continue on in an unhappy marriage and there isn’t much to aim for anymore, it’s highly likely that your wife will begin to create arguments and build up resentment towards you.
As a man, it’s your role to steer the ship and guide the way to a better, happier life for the both of you.
Don’t leave that in her hands because she will probably go around in circles (i.e. change her mind all the time, start and stop projects, want to move house and then regret it, etc) and will end up resenting you for not allowing her to relax into her masculine direction.
Okay, I hope this article has helped you gain more insight into how you can turn your wife’s hatred around and get your marriage back on track.
If you need more help, please have a click around my site to learn more.