So, what actually brings a woman to the point where she tells her boyfriend to leave her alone?
In most cases, it’s because the guy has gradually destroyed her feelings of respect and attraction for him (e.g. by being insecure, treating her badly, being needy).
If your girlfriend told you to leave her alone, it’s most likely her way of letting you down easy.
In other words, she is preparing to fully break up with you, so now is the time to fix things between you and her before it’s too late…
You can change how she feels from now on.
Just make sure that you focus on making her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you whenever you interact with her, otherwise she will break up with you.
When She Wants to Leave the Relationship, But You Don’t
Relationships rarely fall apart all of a sudden without any prior problems or issues.
Most women take a while before they start to give up on their boyfriend and say something like, “Leave me alone” or “I need some time away from you for a while.”
Even though to you it might seem totally unexpected that your girlfriend has told you to leave her alone, she most likely gave you plenty of warning signs beforehand.
For example: She may have warned you…
By saying things like, “I need you to stop doing that,” or “If you keep doing that, I’m going to break up with you,” or “This just isn’t working for me. You have to change or else you and me won’t last.”
2. With her behavior
By being angry, cold or aloof or by sulking or crying a lot.
3. With her body language
By pulling away from you physically, rejecting your attempts to hug or kiss her, avoiding sex, etc.
4. Through her actions
By arguing or fighting with you about the same things over and over again. She might have also stopped answering your texts or calls for a while, in the hope that you would get the message and change.
Unfortunately, in most cases, guys completely miss these signs, or simply write them off as her just being a moody woman.
Other guys (I used to make this mistake) take their girlfriend for granted and expect that she will stick around because things were so good at the start.
Yet, today’s women are like the women from 100 years ago who were completely dependent on a man and were not allowed to have pre-marital sex.
Today’s women can break up with a guy whenever they want and if they want to sleep with 5 or 10 more guys before settling down, no one has a problem with it anymore.
When a guy overlooks the warning signs that his girlfriend is giving him, he is usually surprised when she says, “Leave me alone” and doesn’t care about losing him.
The fact is, a woman will rarely tell her boyfriend what is REALLY bothering her about his behavior.
A woman doesn’t want to become a guy’s teacher in life about how to be a man, because that will then create a teacher/student or mother/son or big sister/little brother dynamic between them.
For a woman to remain respectful of and sexually attracted to a man in a relationship, she has to be able to look up to him and respect him as her man.
So, rather than teaching a guy how to be a man, a girlfriend will usually continue dropping hints and if he fails to pay attention and make the changes she needs, she will cut him out of her life by saying something like, “Leave me alone” or “I need space.”
3 Things You Can Do Right Now to Make Her Change Her Mind
Right now, you’re probably wondering, “Even though my girlfriend told me to leave her alone, I still love her! So, is there anything I can do to make her change her mind?”
Here’s what you need to do…
1. Understand what she really wants you to change about yourself.
As I mentioned above, most women will avoid giving you the real reasons why they are breaking up with you.
A woman does this because she doesn’t want…
1. To have to teach him how to be the man she needs him to be. She wants him to know how to be a man without her having to lead him and take on the role of his mother, or teacher who has to educate him about what it takes to be a real man.
2. To have to deal with his emotional reaction to her feedback. Depending on what has caused her to lose respect, attraction and love for him (e.g. he is too insecure, he acts feminine at times, etc), she will know that he could react badly to what she has to tell him and he may even become aggressive or violent if she doesn’t give him another chance.
3. To give him the opportunity to try and talk her out of her decision, or worse, have to put up with an emotional break down, or listen to him making promises to change.
For these reasons, you may not know exactly WHY your girlfriend has told you to leave her alone, which is why your first step to getting her back is to figure out what REALLY caused her to lose respect, attraction and love for you and make her want out of the relationship.
If you don’t find the REAL reasons, you will be promising to change things that she secretly doesn’t even care about.
For example: She might have felt that you were being needy and clingy and that you were using the relationship with her to hide from your true potential in life.
If that’s the case, she wants to see you get clear on your biggest ambitions and goals in life and then begin making progress in that direction, rather than clinging onto her as being your one and only reason for living.
So, if you start buying her flowers and gifts, and you text or call her incessantly (basically making her feel even more smothered by you and grateful that she broke up with you), she’s going to feel pissed off that you don’t understand what she really wants from you.
However, don’t expect her to spell it out for you. She doesn’t want to be your teacher.
If you really want to get your girlfriend back (or keep the relationship together if you’re not broken up yet), you’ve got to be offering her what she really wants, not what you think she might want.
If you are trying to get her back with the wrong offers, she will continue to feel misunderstood and she’ll see no reason to stay with you.
2. Fix your emotional issues and show her that you’ve really changed.
Some guys get annoyed when they hear that they’ll need to fix their issues (e.g. insecurity, neediness, clingy behavior, etc) to get a woman back.
A guy might ask, “Why do I have to change for her? Why can’t she accept me for who I am?”
The fact is, right now your current behavior and thinking is not making your girlfriend feel enough respect, love and attraction for you.
To quote Henry Ford:
“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.”
In other words, if you are so set on staying the same and not making an effort to fix negative thinking, behaviors or insecurities, you will continue to present your girlfriend with the same things that caused her to tell you to leave her alone.
If you don’t make any changes, your girlfriend will continue to behave coldly towards you and continue telling you to go away because there is no reason for her to change her mind.
Rather then get caught up feeling defensive about her rejection, try to realize that changing limiting behaviors and attitudes benefits you too.
It’s not about becoming a “perfect man” for her, but about becoming a better version of who you already are.
When you do that, you will not only get your girlfriend back in your arms again, but you will also find that the new, improved version of you is more successful in social situations, at work and in life.
Isn’t that worth changing for?
When your girlfriend sees that you have begun to fix your issues and improve yourself emotionally as a man, she will naturally be able to feel attracted to you again.
After all, love doesn’t die.
If you and your girlfriend did experience love together, it is still there in the background and she will naturally become open to reconnecting with that love when she sees the new you.
As you will discover from the video above, it is possible to change the way that your girlfriend currently feels about you.
Her emotions are not set in stone.
When you present her with a more attractive version of yourself (e.g. you’re more confident, more able to make her feel girly in response to your masculinity, you’re emotionally stronger, etc), she will naturally become open to feeling attracted to you again.
3. Make her see you as a better option compared to other guys.
At this point, your girlfriend is probably going to be doing whatever it takes for her to get over you (e.g. going out partying with her friends and maybe even dating other guys).
The biggest mistake that you can make at this point is to become jealous, insecure or even start begging her to give you another chance. This type of behavior is totally unattractive to a woman because women are naturally attracted to the emotional strength in men and turned off by the weakness.
If you are being emotional weak and needy towards her, she will naturally find herself feeling attracted to guys who are emotionally stronger than you are…even just a little bit stronger.
Pretty much any guy who is emotionally stronger than you are at this point will seem like a better option.
So, make sure that you don’t beg or force her to experience your emotional insecurity or weakness. It will only make things worse.
Your girlfriend won’t want to feel like she is doing you a favor by getting back with you. She wants to feel like you are the best guy for her, rather than feeling like she is settling for second best.
Getting her to see you as a better option to other guys is easier than you think. There are things that you can say to her right now on the phone, and there are also many things that you can say and do when you meet up with her that will make her see you in a different light.
Your Situation is Fixable
If you’re saying, “My girlfriend told me to leave her alone,” you might be thinking that your situation is hopeless because she seems determined not to have anything more to do with you anymore.
Yet, as you can see by what you’ve read so far; there are many things that you can do right now to change how she feels and get her respect, attraction and love for you back again.
You actually have a lot of direct control over how much attraction your girlfriend feels for you.
For example: If a guy is confident, charismatic, funny, masculine and charming around his girlfriend, she is going to feel much more attracted to him than if he were insecure, needy and emotionally sensitive.
When you change your behavior and the way you interact with your girlfriend, she will automatically begin to see you in a new light and she will feel drawn to you again.