Here are 5 possible reactions that you might get from her if you knock on her door:
1. She is happy that you had the confidence to go and see her and try to work things out
Sometimes a woman will break up with a guy, but secretly be hoping that they’ll be able to work things out and get back together.
So, if her then has the confidence to knock on her front door and work things out, it will be exactly what she’s been hoping for.
Of course, even though your ex may still have feelings for you and want you back, if you go ahead and knock on her door, don’t expect her to throw herself into your arms and say something along the lines of, “I’m so glad you came! I’ve been hoping that’d you come over so we can sort things out and get back together.”
Instead, if she’s like most women, she will act surprised and say something like, “What are you doing here?”
If she reacts in that way, don’t panic.
Just remain confident, relaxed and easy-going and say something like, “I thought I’d drop by for a minute to say hi as a friend and see how you are.”
She might then invite you in for a coffee, drink or a chat.
Once you are inside her house, focus on maintaining your confidence with her (especially if she starts getting nervous about you being there and begins to act cold or aloof) and continue to break down her walls by sparking her feelings for you.
The best way to do that is to be relaxed and easy-going and use some humor to lighten the mood and get her smiling and laughing.
If she was hoping that you’d drop by, she will be happy to see that you and her can still chat, have a laugh and feel good around each other.
The more you continue to show her via your behavior and conversation style that you’ve transformed into the kind of man that she can now look up to, respect and feel attracted to (e.g. confident, self-assured, emotionally masculine) the more her defenses will come down.
She will naturally begin to open up and you can then give her a kiss and possibly even hook up with her sexually.
Note: She might not be ready to have sex with you the first time you knock on her door, so don’t worry about it if she isn’t.
Instead, just continue to interact with her (over the phone and especially in person) and build on her initial feelings of respect and sexual attraction for you until she falls back in love with you, or at least opens up to having sex with you to see how she feels afterwards.
Another possible reaction your ex might have if you knock on her front door is…
2. She is angry that you turned up at her home uninvited
In some cases, a woman won’t enjoy being caught off guard by her ex and will react in an angry way, “How dare you show up at my house uninvited! We’ve broken up and you have no right to be here unless I say that it’s okay! So, go away. Don’t ever do that again. Get out here. We have broken up. Leave!”
Some of her possible reasons for reacting in that way might be…
- She’s worried that you’re going to create drama and drag her into a long, drawn out and stressful conversation about the relationship.
- She’s still feeling bitter about the break up and isn’t ready to see you yet.
- She’s worried that you might be stalking her.
- She’s worried that you might hurt her physically if she lets you in. Many women watch a lot of crime TV shows and often think the worst when an ex guy shows up their door.
- She feels self-conscious and insecure about you seeing her without her make up on/her hair in a mess/wearing sloppy clothes.
- She’s expecting one of her friends to arrive soon and doesn’t want you to be there when she arrives (e.g. because her friend disapproves of you and wants her to forget about you).
- She has made other plans and you are now delaying her.
- She doesn’t want to make it easy for you to get her back.
- She doesn’t want you thinking that you can just arrive at her home anytime you want, without being invited.
So, if you go and knock on your ex’s door to say hi as a friend and she gets angry, don’t let it put you off.
If you can remain calm, relaxed and confidently focus on reawakening her feelings of respect and attraction for you as you talk to her (e.g. by using humor to diffuse the situation), she won’t be able to stay mad at you for long.
So, if you think that your ex might react in an angry way, you need to be prepared to face potentially 1-2 minutes of her being annoyed, before she calms down, relaxes and begins to open up and talk more freely with you.
When you focus on making her smile, laugh and feel good as you talk to her, her guard will start to come down.
You can then build on her feelings and get her to open up to the idea of hanging out to see where things go.
On the other hand, if you crumble at the first sign of resistance from her, she will perceive you as being emotionally weak and unable to cope with the challenges that life throws at you, which will turn her off.
She will then think something along the lines of, “If he can’t even handle a little resistance from me, how will he be able to get through the more difficult things in life? Is he the kind of man who feels afraid when confronted by a challenging situation? Is he the sort to just give up and run away? I don’t want a man who is too insecure and cowardly to be able to face the challenges of life. I want a man who has the courage and determination to remain confident, calm and in control no matter what life throws at him. By going into his shell and seeming like he is intimidated by me, he has highlighted to me that I made the right decision by breaking up with him. I now need to focus on forgetting about him and moving on.”
Another possible reaction your ex might have if you knock on her front door is…
3. She has her guard up and doesn’t want to talk to you about the relationship
When a woman breaks up with a guy, she will usually try to avoid seeing him as much as possible to allow herself to move on, rather than having to deal with him wanting to talk about the relationship with her (and trying to get her back).
So, if her ex suddenly knocks on her front door, rather than be happy to see him, she will feel like she needs to get him to leave so she doesn’t get seduced back into a relationship.
She will then begin to think something like, “I know why he’s here. He wants to talk about the relationship and convince me to give him another chance. He’s probably going to start going over all of his mistakes and ask me what he needs to do to make me happy in a relationship. I don’t want to talk about the relationship and I definitely don’t want to teach him how to be the man I want him to be. If he really wants me back, he needs to figure that out by himself and change and improve without my help. If he can do that, then I would be okay about talking to him and seeing if I am willing to open back up to a relationship. Yet, I bet that nothing has really changed about him, so I’ve got to get him to leave.”
She will then try her best to get you to leave, so she can continue trying to get over you and move on.
If you don’t want her to react in that way, you need make sure that if you do knock on her door, you keep the interaction fun, easy-going and lighthearted, rather than trying to get into deep, stressful conversations about the relationship.
For example: You might say to her, “Hey, I get it that you’re probably surprised to see me here right now, but I just want to make it clear that I’m not here to talk about the relationship or about getting back together. I just wanted to come by and say hello as a friend for a few minutes, cool? If you don’t want to talk any longer than that, I will leave. No problem at all. Anyway, so how are you?”
By saying something like that to her, not only are you taking the pressure off her from having to talk about what she doesn’t want to talk about (i.e. the relationship and getting back together again), it also makes her see you in a more positive light.
She can see that you’re not there to cause trouble and just want to say hi as a friend.
Of course, she might still be a bit worried or on guard, but that’s only natural.
When she sees that you’re being confident, relaxed and easy-going, she will begin to drop her guard a little without feeling as though it means she’s agreeing to getting back together with you.
Another possible reaction she might have if you knock on her front door is…
4. She tells you to go away and never come back again
In some cases, a woman will feel shocked to see her ex standing on her front door and because of that, a lot of different things may go through her mind at that moment.
For example: She might…
- Secretly feel pleased that he’s there, but at the same time, not want to make it easy for him to get her back by appearing happy to see him.
- Feel like he hasn’t done anything to re-spark her feelings first, so she doesn’t feel ready or willing to see him.
- Wonder if he’s actually changed anything about himself, or if he’s still the same guy that she broke up with.
As a result, she might react by saying something along the lines of, “Why are you here? This is unacceptable, you know? You can’t just arrive at someone’s door and expect that they will want to talk to you. Go away, I don’t want to talk to you.”
Although what she’s saying might sound as though she is rejecting him and that he no longer has a chance, it can also mean other things.
For example: In some cases, a woman will say that as a test to see if her ex confident enough to stand his ground and talk to her in a calm, rational manner, regardless of how negative she is being towards him.
This usually happens if the woman dumped her ex because of his anger issues, or because he was too wimpy and was easily controlled or bossed around by her.
It can also apply when a woman was taken for granted by her ex, to the point where he treated her badly and expected her to just put up with it because she used to love him so much.
So, if your ex tells you to go away when you knock on her front door, rather than getting upset and taking it as a sign that it’s 100% over between you, just remain calm and use some humor to break down her defenses and remove some of the awkwardness from of the situation.
For example: If she say’s something like, “What are you doing here?” you can say in a joking way, “I was all the way across town in a really important business meeting, when all of a sudden I started smelling lasagna. So I followed the aroma and it led me right up to your front door!” and have a laugh.
Then say, “Anyway, since I’ve come all this way…how about some lasagna for lunch?”
She will probably try to act annoyed and say something like, “You’re crazy! I didn’t cook any lasagna today.”
You can then laugh and say in a joking manner, “Oh, that’s very disappointing. Well, at least make it up to me with a cup of coffee then.”
If you’re on good terms with each other, she will likely laugh and say something along the lines of, “You’re so cheeky! Okay fine, come in, but only for 10 minutes…then you have to leave and promise me that you won’t knock on my front door again without an invitation, okay?”
If you’re not on good terms with each other, she might remain annoyed and say, “No, I’m not making you a coffee. I didn’t invite you over, so you have to leave.”
You can then say, “Hey, I was only kidding. Of course I don’t expect a coffee. I accept that you and I have broken up. No problem at all. I just came by to say hello as a friend. All I’m asking for is a quick chat and then I’ll leave. If don’t ever want to talk to me again after that, I promise to leave and never contact you again. You have my word.”
She will most likely let you in at that point, or have a conversation with you at the door.
Whatever the case, the most important thing is that you maintain your confidence and don’t seem worried, intimidated, angry, insecure or tense.
Just relax, be confident and easy-going and talk to her as though everything is cool between you and her.
Use the conversation to reawaken her feelings for you by adding in some humor and using flirting to make her feel sparks of sexual attraction for you.
When you do that, her guard will come down and she will begin opening back up to you.
Another possible reaction she might have if you knock on her front door is…
5. She threatens to get a restraining order out on you
If a woman threatens her ex with a restraining order, it usually (but not always) means that a guy will have done many other things to cause her to to feel annoyed, or even threatened by him.
For example: He might have…
- Repeatedly called her, texted, e-mailed or sent her messages via social media demanding that she talk to him in person.
- Shown up unexpectedly at her work, university or where she likes to hang out with her friends.
- Begged and pleaded with her for a second chance in person and become very emotional and even a bit angry when she didn’t give him the chance.
- Followed her around to see where she goes going and who she is now hanging out with.
- Intruded on her dates with other guys and caused a scene (e.g. by picking a fight with the other guy).
- Parked outside her home and waited for her to come home, so he could then talk to her.
- Physically hurt her or threatened to hurt her if she didn’t give him another chance.
So, if he then knocks on her front door, she’s probably going to freak out and threaten to take a restraining order out on him to hopefully get him to leave her alone.
If you’ve been behaving in any of the above mentioned ways, it’s probably best if you don’t knock on your ex’s front door, until you’ve re-sparked some of her feelings of respect and attraction for you first (e.g. over the phone).
Then when you do, she will be more open to forgiving you your past behavior if she sees you standing there, than if you just show up without reactivating any of her feelings for you.
4 Mistakes a Guy Might Make When He Wants to Knock On His Ex’s Front Door
Before you show up at your ex’s front door, make sure you’re prepared enough to be able to make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
If you are, then she will most likely drop her guard and open back up to you.
Unfortunately, many guys in your situation are unprepared and end up making one or more of the following mistakes, which causes the woman to feel annoyed and want him to leave…
1. Turning up to her house and trying to discuss the relationship before re-attracting her
When it comes to getting an ex woman back, making her feel respect and sexual attraction for you as you talk to her, is infinitely more effective than trying to discuss the relationship.
If a woman doesn’t feel attracted to you, then she’s not going to feel motivated to want to discuss the relationship and work things out.
So, you have to start with re-attraction first.
When you knock on your ex’s door, use it as an opportunity to build on her feelings for you by having some fun as you talk to her (e.g. using humor to break down her walls).
Let her realize for herself that she really does feel good around you anymore, so there’s still hope for you and her.
If you approach it that way, you have the best chance of getting her to drop her guard, open back up to you and give you another chance.
However, if you knock on her door and want to get into serious discussions about the relationship, or about how much you’ve improved, then she’s probably not going to be interested.
Another mistake that some guys make when they knock on their ex woman’s door is…
2. Appearing desperate or needy as he talks to her
Women are attracted to men who are confident, self-assured and can remain calm and composed under pressure.
As a result, neediness and desperation are not attractive qualities and will simply turn a woman off when displayed.
So, if you knock on your ex’s front door and subtly or obvious begin to plead with her to give you another chance, it’s going to turn her off.
Likewise, if you appear desperate by saying something like, “I just had to see you again. I can’t cope without you,” it’s not going to sweep her off her feet if she is already turned off by you.
So, make sure that you show her (by the way you think, talk and behave) that you are now an emotionally strong and confident man who can remain calm and composed under pressure, while also having the balls to add in some humor to ease the tension between you and her.
As a result, you will naturally begin to make her feel respect, attraction and love for you all over again.
3. Not giving her 3 to 7 days of space before starting the ex back process
Sometimes, a few days of space is exactly what is needed after a break up, to allow for things to calm down and your woman to start missing you.
This is especially true if you had annoyed your ex by begging and pleading for another chance, or have generally been needy and desperate since the break up.
If you don’t give your ex any space after annoying her and then show up at her front door, she probably won’t be very happy to see you.
Causing her to feel annoyed like that makes it more difficult for you to break through her defenses and get her to open back up to you.
So, if you have been annoying her since the break up, give her 3 to 7 days of space and then begin the ex back process.
On the other hand, if you haven’t been annoying her, then go ahead and start the ex back process and get her back.
The next mistake is…
4. Expecting that she will be impressed if he pours his heart out to her, expresses his undying love and promises to do whatever she wants
Some guys hope that their ex woman will be flattered if he knocks on her front door and tells her how much he loves her and how he’s going to do whatever it takes to get her back.
Yet, here’s the thing…
If a woman doesn’t have feelings for her ex anymore, she’s not going to care about his feelings for her.
This is why you need to start the ex back process with re-attraction.
Only when she feels a renewed sense of attraction for you, will she then begin to care and open up to explore her new feelings for you.