Is being shy around women preventing you from living the life you really want?
Do you freeze up every time you find yourself around beautiful women?
When you spot a beautiful woman that you would like to talk to, and possibly have sex with or date, rather than walk up to her and strike up a conversation, do you instead let your mind run away with negative thoughts about what could go wrong?
- What if she rejects me in front of everyone?
- What if she has a boyfriend?
- What if people think I am a weirdo or a creep for approaching her?
- What if she thinks I’m not good looking enough?
- What if she laughs at me or makes fun of me in front of everyone?
- What if she gets annoyed because I’m interrupting her?
- What if she is not attracted to me and tells me to go away?
- What if I freeze up during conversation and run out of things to say?
If you want to approach a woman and you allowing negative questions like those to run through your mind, your confidence automatically begins to fade away and you become filled with anxiety, fear and hesitation.
So, by thinking in that way, you’re only setting yourself up to fail.
You probably know that thinking in that way is silly, right?
When the negative thoughts fill your mind, you probably feel annoyed and wish you could just think in a confident way, but no matter how much you try to convince yourself that it will be okay, you can’t seem to stop the negative thoughts from making you feel nervous, shy and anxious about talking to the woman.
Stop the Shyness By Making Her Feel Good
If you want to stop feeling shy, you need to stop focusing on yourself and how you feel.
The reason you feel shy is that you’re worrying so much about yourself, what might happen to you and how you might feel if things don’t go well.
That is NOT going to stop you from feeling shy.
Do what a confident, charismatic guy would do.
A confident, charismatic guy would approach and talk to the woman and his focus would be on making HER feel good around him, rather than on trying to make himself feel confident enough to talk to her.
He would take the focus away from his emotions and what he wants and instead focus on making her feel good. He is just approaching to give her the gift of interacting with him and feeling good around him.
Think about it…
If he were focused on trying to make himself feel good before approaching her or during the interaction, then he would be spending way too much time in his head.
If you want to stop your shyness, you’ve got to make the approach or interaction about the other person.
The reason for the approach is to make HER feel good, not you. When you switch your focus like that, it forces you to get into a state of being where you are able to give her that experience.
I call this the Shy Stopper technique and here’s how it works…
- Don’t worry about yourself, how you are feeling or how you might feel. Just stop thinking about yourself completely.
- Talk to the woman and focus on making her feel confident, happy and relaxed around you. Give her the gift of feeling good around you.
- You will then automatically feel more confident, happy and relaxed around her and your shyness will go away.
Shyness happens when you think too much about yourself, how you feel and how you might feel if things go wrong.
The point here is to put your focus on someone else, rather than making you the focus of your attention.
When a woman notices that you are present (i.e. you’re not all up in your head like a shy guy) when interacting with her and she is feeling that good around you, she will naturally feel attracted and drawn to you.
If you know that your number one job is to make her feel confident, happy and relaxed around you, it forces you to smile, be more confident and be in a better mood to make HER feel good…not you.
When you do that, you become more present in the interaction and your shyness doesn’t have a chance to exist.
Your presence and ability to make her feel good, causes you to come across as more confident and charismatic and the woman feels attracted to you as a result.
Are You Shy When Talking to Attractive Women?
Some shy guys make the mistake of always trying to say the right thing around attractive women, because they are worried about getting rejected by her and then feel even worse about themselves.
So, rather than taking a risk to be himself, a shy guy will often put on an act of being a nicer, more polite guy than he actually is.
He hopes that the woman will see that he’s a good guy and give him a chance.
Yet, that’s not how it works.
Watch this video to find out why…
As you will discover from the video above, women feel much more attraction to guys who aren’t afraid to be themselves, even if that means saying a few things that she might not agree with or like.
Are You Confident in Other Areas of Your Life?
When a guy is shy around attractive women, it doesn’t mean that he won’t be confident in other areas of life.
For example: A guy who is shy around women might feel totally confident and in control in a business setting. He might be in charge of a huge department and have all his employees and co-workers regard him with respect and admiration.
Why is he shy around women, but confident at work?
In a work situation, he is confident of his abilities to do the job well, so there is no need to feel shy. He believes in himself and feels worthy.
Yet, around women, he isn’t confident in his abilities to attract women, so he feels shy and unsure of himself around them.
Have a look at the dictionary definitions and you will see that your shyness around women is directly linked to your insecurity about your ability to attract them…
Shy (adjective): Being reserved or having or showing nervousness or timidity in the company of other people.
Insecurity (noun): Lack of confidence or assurance; self-doubt.
Confidence (noun): Belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance.
This is why it’s so important to have the skill of being able to attract women.
If you don’t know how to attract women with your personality, you will naturally feel shy and insecure around women you really like.
However, if you feel confident in your ability to attract women, you will feel excited at the opportunity to interact with women you like because you will know that you can get them to want you.
3 Simple Things That Will Help Eliminate Your Shyness Around Women
Getting rid of your shyness around women will happen in stages.
There are different levels of confidence that you can have. For example: A guy can have a little bit of confidence around women, a mild level, a fairly good level, strong and unstoppable level of confidence.
I could literally come up with 20-30 different variations of confidence, but you get the picture.
Confidence is something that you build on and make stronger overtime. The stronger your confidence gets, the more attractive you are to women and the more that men will respect you and look up to you.
So, now that you’re clear on that and are not expecting to be free of shyness for life with one trick, here are 3 simple things that you can do to help eliminate your shyness around women and replace it with confidence…
1. Talk to women in a way that makes them feel attracted.
When you talk to a woman in a way that makes her feel attracted, she will feel drawn to you and will want to help keep the conversation going.
Watch this for examples of how to do that…
This is the first step to overcoming your shyness around women.
You need positive feedback about your abilities to become confident. Look at the dictionary definition…
Confidence (noun): Belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance.
You can’t be truly confident if you don’t have any positive feedback to back up your belief in yourself.
So, if you want to stop feeling shy around women, you have to begin by making women feel attracted to you when you talk to them.
For example: If you talk to women and make them feel attracted to you by displaying confidence, making them laugh, being charming, having a masculine vibe, etc – you will get positive feedback and reactions from women.
When you see that women react positively to you, there is nothing to be shy about anymore.
Instead, you feel excited whenever there is an opportunity to talk to a woman you like because you know that you’re going to be able to make her feel attracted to you.
When you switch a woman’s attraction switch to ON and she’s interested, there’s nothing to be shy about and everything to be excited about.
How can you do that?
Here’s an example of using humor and displaying confidence when talking to a woman…
You: [Smile and ask] Do you like coming here or do you hate this place?
Her: [Most likely laughing at the intensity of your question] No, I like it – it’s okay.
You: It’s my first time here and I like it because of you. I prefer to hang out at a coffee shop a couple blocks away from here called [insert name]. Have you ever been there?
Her: No. Not yet.
You: They make they best lattes. They make the milk real smooth and creamy. You should try it sometime.
Her: Mmm…sounds nice. I love lattes. I might have to try it.
You: Cool, maybe you can take me there and buy me a latte sometime.
Her: [Most likely laughing] Noooo! You have to buy me one.
You: [Smile and say] Okay, it’s a date then. I’ll get the latte, but you have to pay for the napkins.
Her: [Most-likely laughing].
By talking to women in this positive, confident and playful kind of way, it automatically makes you feel confident and relaxed while showing her that you have a sense of humor.
Compare that to a conversation that a shy guy might have where he tries to appear really nice, intelligent and polite:
Shy guy: Do you like coming here?
Woman: Yes, it’s okay.
Shy guy: Oh, that’s good. So, what’s your name?
Shy guy: Nice to meet you Penny. I’m Sam.
Shy guy: So, what do you for a living?
Woman: I’m an accountant.
Shy guy: Oh okay…that’s good. How long have you been doing that?
Woman: 4 years.
Shy guy: Why did you become an accountant?
Woman: Umm…sorry, I have to go and talk to my friends. Nice talking to you. Bye.
Shy guy: [Feels rejected and most-likely assumes she doesn’t like him because he isn’t good looking enough].
In the second example above, the shy guy is not doing ANYTHING to make the woman feel attracted, happy and relaxed around him.
He’s just being a nice, polite guy and is probably hoping that he can impress her by showing how intelligent, nice and well mannered he is.
Yet, here’s the thing…
Women don’t care about all the nice stuff BEFORE they are attracted to you.
If you make a woman feel attracted to you (e.g. by making her laugh, being confident, being charming, having a masculine vibe, etc), she will then become interested in your other qualities (e.g. you’re a good guy, you’re intelligent, etc).
Watch this video to understand why being really nice to a woman doesn’t turn her on and make her want to begin a sexual relationship…
As you will discover from the video above, there’s nothing wrong with being nice to a woman.
However, if you want her to appreciate how nice you are towards her, you have to make her feel sexually attracted to you first.
If you don’t do that, she will just see you as yet another friendly, nice guy that she has little or no romantic interest in.
2. Have purpose and direction in life and follow through on it with passion.
Some guys feel shy around women because they make the mistake of looking at women as the main thing they need to conquer in life.
“If I can just get a woman to like me, then I will be happy and confident.”
No, no, no.
What you need to do is work out what you want to really achieve in this life. I don’t mean things like get a job, buy a house and have a pet dog.
Think about your biggest dreams, ambitions and goals that scare you because you think you might not be good enough to achieve them.
…then begin walking the path towards that success.
If it takes you 5 years or 50 years, it does not matter. The point is that you are a man on a mission; a man of purpose.
Rise through the levels of life and reach for you true potential as a man. Be happy with or without a woman in your life.
When you get to that place mentally and emotionally (it can happen within hours or days of deciding to be like that), you will automatically become more attractive to women.
Women feel turned off by guys who seem them as being their purpose in life.
A woman isn’t your purpose in life.
Women are easy to pick up.
What is challenging is going after your biggest dreams and ambitions in life and never giving up. Becoming a bigger and better man by rising through the levels of life and reaching for your true potential.
When you are living your life in that way, women become attracted to you like flies to honey. They swarm.
However, if you look at women as being way more valuable and important than you and your biggest dreams in life, you will fail.
Women will feel turned off by you on a deep, instinctive level.
Instinctively, women know that guys who are afraid to rise through the levels of life and reach for their true potential will most-likely become needy, clingy, insecure and controlling in a relationship.
When a couple gets past the initial stage of a relationship (i.e. the lust and new romance stage), a woman will usually test the guy’s confidence in himself by playing hard to get or pulling back some of her affection and interest.
If he reacts by becoming insecure, clingy and needy, then she’s obviously not with a man who is rising through the levels of life and reaching for his true potential with or without her.
Instead, she’s with a guy who is afraid of failure and is using the relationship with her to hide from reaching his true potential as a man. He wants to make his life about her and the relationship because he doesn’t have the balls to face reality and be the strong man that she wants and needs.
3. Add to your social intelligence.
Social intelligence is essentially about your ability to get along well with others.
It’s also about your level of awareness and understanding of how to navigate social situations effectively.
For example: A guy who is confident around women has a level of social intelligence that allows him to think, feel and behave in a confident way around women.
On the other hand, a guy who is shy around women is literally going through life with missing pieces to the puzzle.
He might be a very intelligent man academically or at work, but when it comes to his understanding of women and socializing, he is a bit lost.
Why do women care about a guy’s social intelligence?
For all of human history, life has been challenging. It has been a struggle to survive, thrive and prosper in this world.
Today is no different.
We now have smartphones and supermarkets, but that doesn’t mean that life is so easy and safe now.
It’s a competitive world out there and humanity is usually only a hurricane or earthquake away from being forced back into basic survival.
A woman’s natural instinct is to align herself with a guy who has what it takes to survive, thrive and prosper no matter how challenging life gets.
When a guy can socialize and make friends easily, his attractiveness to a woman increases because she can see that he’s not a loner and therefore, in times of trouble, he will have an existing support group to help him out or will be able to quickly form alliances with new people.
Instinctively, this makes a woman feel safe and protected…and more importantly – sexually attracted to you.
Fact: You Are Worthy of Most Women Right Now
Many guys feel shy around women because they believe that they just aren’t good enough for the type of women they really want.
For example: A shy guy might say, “Beautiful women don’t date guys who look like me. If was better looking, then I would be confident and women would like me” or “Women only want guys who are rich and successful; I’m just an average guy. I can’t compete with the rich or popular guys.”
Yet, these guys are wrong.
Yes, of course there are some women who will only date good looking guys, rich guys, or guys who live an amazing lifestyle, but those women are the minority.
The majority of women in this world have an Open Type, which basically means they are open to feeling attracted to all different types of guys, as long as the guy can make them feel enough attraction in other ways (e.g. by displaying confidence, flirting with her, making her laugh, being charismatic and charming, etc).
The next time you’re out at the mall, walking down the street, at a ball game, etc., take a good look around you. You will probably see hundreds of plain, short, bald, ugly or fat men with an attractive girlfriend or wife.
Are all of those guys rich or do they have a huge penis? Is that their secret?
Most people in this world are not rich and most guys have an average sized penis.
Their secret is simple.
Women can be attracted to guys for MANY different reasons other than looks, money, social status or penis size.
A woman can literally be with a guy because he is confident and funny and as a result, she loves being around him and thinks he’s cute, sexy and an amazing boyfriend.
A good guy looking on might think, “What is she doing with him? I’m so much better looking and I make a ton of money. Why don’t I have a girl like that?”
He’s expecting to be wanted, desired and lusted after because of his looks and money.
Yet, while there ARE women who want a guy purely for those reasons, the majority of women are much more interested in how a guy’s personality and confidence makes them feel.
The “ugly” guys that you see with a beautiful girlfriend or wife are attractive to their women for reasons that have nothing to do with their looks, money, penis size or social status.
Yes, those things can and do attract women, but you CAN attract women in OTHER ways.
So, if your shyness around women is based on an excuse about not being “good looking enough” for the women you want; think again.
You are good enough for the majority of women right now. When you realize that and allow yourself to feel confident as a result, you will immediately see the change in how women look at you.
They will see the confidence in you and they will feel attracted to you because of it.
Stop the Shyness and Start the Happiness
Being shy around women sucks.
You go out to a party or a bar and no matter how well you are dressed, how cool your hair looks or how much muscle you’ve built in the gym, you still feel shy.
No matter how intelligent you are, how good your intentions are with women or how much better you think you are compared to other guys, you still feel shy.
…and it sucks.
So, if you want to continue fixing your shyness and becoming a confident guy today, click around my site and keep learning.
The faster you learn what I have to teach you, the quicker you will get rid of your shyness around women and be the confident guy that you know you can be.
Life as a confident guy comes with more beautiful women, better friendships and relationships and more respect from people in your life. You feel happier, more alive and you achieve things quickly and with less effort.
Life as a shy guy…well, you know what that’s like.