Some studies say that 65% of couples get back together, while others suggest anywhere from 10% to 53%.
In other words, they have no idea.
The studies also don’t take into account the fact that men are now getting online to learn how to get an ex back and are succeeding in higher numbers than ever before.
Based on what we see here at The Modern Man by helping men get women back, the majority of guys can at least get another chance with their ex as long as they follow the correct ex back process.
If a guy can’t get a second chance immediately, he can usually do so within weeks and we often get e-mails from guys to thank us for the advice and to say how happy they are after getting their woman back in 10-15 days.
We also sometimes hear of guys getting a second chance a month or two later, as long as he continues to follow the process that we provide here.
Guys who fail to get their ex back are usually those who don’t make the changes needed by the woman.
Instead, they simply continue to turn her off (e.g. by being insecure, letting her have too much power over him, not making her respect him again, not actively re-attracting her, avoiding her in the hopes that she comes running back).
So, if you want to successfully get your ex back, you first need to understand what she needs, and then go about giving her those things.
Here’s what you need to do…
1. Understand what caused her to break up with you
In most relationships, the woman doesn’t just wake up one day and think to herself, “Today is a good day to dump my guy. Yeah! I’ve decided that I want to be single!”
Instead, she usually makes that decision after a long time of trying to get through to her guy to make him see how unhappy she is with him.
For example: A woman might say to her guy, “If you don’t change, I’m going to leave,” or “I’m tired of fighting with you over the same things. You’re just not listening to me. I’m not going to put up with this much longer.”
If the guy simply writes it off as her being a temperamental woman, or if he ignores her because he assumes that his love for her is enough to keep her in the relationship for life, her feelings of respect and attraction for him will begin to fade away.
Over time, if he continues to ignore her feedback and carries on saying and doing the types of things that have been turning her off, she will break up with him.
The guy might then ask, “Huh?! Why are you doing this to me? What have I done wrong? Just tell me what you want me to do and I’ll do it. I promise that I will change. Just tell me exactly what I need to change. I will do it.”
However, by that stage, the woman is likely thinking, “Well, it’s too little, too late. I’ve already told you hundreds of times before and you didn’t care to listen and change.”
Some women do tell their guy exactly what he needs to change about himself, but most women won’t. Why?
A woman doesn’t want to be a guy’s teacher in life and have to teach him how to be the kind of man who thinks, talks, acts and behaves in ways that are attractive to her.
She wants a ready-made man or guy who can quickly figure out how to be a man without her help.
So, rather than hang around and take on the role of his teacher or mother, she will simply say something like, “It’s not you, it’s me. I need some space right now to sort out my life by myself,” and she will then leave him behind.
What she isn’t telling him is, “Look, you’re just not man enough for me. Other guys get how to be a man, but you don’t.”
She doesn’t want to give him clues on what to work on because she doesn’t want him to fake the improvements to get her back.
If he can work it out for himself or get help from a friend, then she will see that has stepped up and is no longer the confused guy that she dumped.
He has become a man now and no matter how turned off she used to feel, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling a renewed sense of respect and attraction for him because of it.
So, how about you?
Do you know the real, more subtle reasons why your ex dumped you and didn’t want you back?
If you want to successfully get her back, you need to first understand her real, more subtle reasons (not the vague excuses or reasons she gave you) for breaking up with you.
If you have no idea how to figure that out by yourself, here are some questions you can ask that will help:
- Did you make her feel loved, respected and appreciated, or did you take her for granted (e.g. by no longer noticing her efforts to look attractive for you, failing to help with chores/errands)?
- Were you the man in the relationship, or did you allow her to wear the pants and make most of the decisions for you and her?
- Did she feel feminine and girly in your presence, or did she feel more like a friend, or big sister?
- Was she able to look up to you and respect you as her man, or did she look down on you?
- We’re you emotionally strong and confident around her, or were you insecure, needy and clingy?
- Did you have a purpose outside of your relationship with her, or did you make her your sole reason for living?
Once you fully understand where you really went wrong with her, you will then be able to make the correct changes to your thinking and behavior.
Then, when you next interact with her again via text, e-mail, on a phone call, or in person, she will be able to see for herself that you’re not stuck repeating the same mistakes over and over again.
When that happens, she automatically starts to feel some respect and attraction for you again.
That’s when her guard comes down, and she opens herself to the idea of getting back together again.
2. Change how she feels
One of the ways to change how your ex feels about you is to show her that you’ve moved beyond the level you were at when she broke up with you.
At this point, some guys will ask, “How can I do that? She isn’t answering my calls or texts. She doesn’t want to see me.”
If you need help to bring down her walls, get her to unblock you from social media, answering your texts and calls and be willing to meet up with you in person, I recommend that you watch, Get Your Ex Back: Super System
If you are sincere about getting her back, it’s absolutely essential that you let her see that you’re no longer stuck at the same level you were at when she broke up with you.
For example: A guy got dumped by his woman because he was too needy and insecure in the relationship.
He may have been too emotionally sensitive, constantly needed her to reassure him of her love, or he may have been clingy, jealous and controlling.
Whatever the case, his insecurity caused her to lose respect and attraction for him as a man and she then broke up with him.
So, to change how she feels about him, he needs to allow her to experience the new and improved, confident and self-assured version of himself whenever he interacts with her from now on.
She will see that he is no longer insecure.
Regardless of what she says, how she reacts, or how she tests him (e.g. acting cold and bitchy towards him), he doesn’t lose confidence and even has the emotional strength and social intelligence to be able to get her smiling and laughing in moments like that.
For example: As a way of testing whether her ex has really changed, or is just putting on an act, a woman might say to him, “I don’t know if there’s a chance for us anymore. I’m having such a great time hanging out with my friends and meeting new guys. I think I like being single.”
If he then reacts by getting upset, sulking and possibly even getting angry with her and saying something like, “How can you do this to me? We’ve only been broken up for a week and you’re already over me just like that. Didn’t our love mean anything to you? Have you already slept with a new guy?” she will see that nothing about him has really changed and his new, confident and emotionally strong persona was only an act.
On the other hand, if he remains relaxed, smiles and says something like, “That’s cool. Being single definitely has its up side, but so does being in a really good relationship. The main thing is that you enjoy yourself no matter where you find yourself; single or in a relationship,” she will see that he’s changed for real and her feelings for him will begin to change too.
If she then tries to test him further by saying, “Yeah, but I wasn’t enjoying myself in our relationship,” he can demonstrate emotional strength and social intelligence by saying in a joking manner, “Yeah, me too. I secretly hated you the whole time” and then laugh with her about that.
She will then see that he’s not the insecure, emotionally sensitive guy that she broke up with.
He has already changed and become a better man.
The more that she experiences his newfound confidence and emotional strength, the more naturally attracted she feels.
So, if you want to have a high success rate chance of getting your ex back, the main thing to remember is that you need to change how she feels about the old you by letting her experience the new you.
When you change and improve on the things that caused your ex to lose respect and attraction for you, her feelings for you will also change.
It happens naturally and automatically, even if she doesn’t want it to or if she tries to fight it or hide it.
If your ex is currently saying, “I’m not interested in getting back together again,” or “I just don’t feel the same way about you anymore,” it’s simply because she is seeing (via the way you talk, act, behave and interact with her), that nothing about you has changed.
On the other hand, when you get her on a phone call, or meet up with her, and she experiences the new and improved version of you, she’ll begin to think, “This isn’t the guy I remember. He’s changed so much. It feels silly for me to keep saying “No” to him now. Maybe I should just give him a chance. Who knows…it might be fun. I want to kiss him and hug him all of a sudden for some reason. I guess it’s a sign.”
When that happens, you are simply a catch up away from getting her back.
You can do this.
3. Contact her and get her to meet up with you in person
One of the best ways to successfully get an ex back is by interacting with her on a phone call and making her laugh, smile and feel good to be talking to you again.
Laughter, smiling and feel good emotions automatically bring her guard down and she naturally begins to feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for who you have become since the break up.
For example: Imagine that you’re talking to your ex and she says something like, “Look, I don’t see the point of getting back together again.”
A boring response that will do nothing to spark her feelings for you would be something along the lines of, “Oh, but I still love you. Please don’t say that. I really think that we can work things out. Can’t you just give us another chance?”
On the other hand, a response that will get her smiling, laughing and feeling some level of attraction for you would be something like, “Me too. If we got back together, things would be better, we’d stay together and then I’d have to put up with eating your crappy cooking again” and then laugh.
Obviously, you’d only say that if her cooking was really good and both you and her knew that, so she’d know that you’re joking.
However, if you are a confident guy, you could say it if her cooking was bad and then say, “Only kidding. You did make that one dish really well. Remember when you made that lasagna? That was awesome. You are a good cook, you’re pretty and I love you…and that’s why I want to get back with you. Also, I need someone to do my laundry” and then laugh with her about that.
By making a joke in response to her statement of, “Look, I don’t see the point of getting back together again,” you instantly take the edge off the seriousness of the situation and bring it back to laughter and love.
She has a laugh with you and then begins to wonder, “Why isn’t he being emotionally sensitive like he used to? Why is he reacting so differently? He’s so much more confident and emotionally mature…and I like it for some reason. What’s going on? Could this mean that we are supposed to get back together? Maybe it will be a good idea to give this a try. I can see it going well.”
By using humor to get her smiling and laughing on a phone call, she will naturally feel attracted to you, whether she wants to or not.
She will begin to reconnect with her positive feelings for you (e.g. respect, attraction, love) and then when you ask her for a meet up, she will feel excited to see you again, even if she acts like she is only half interested or doesn’t care whether the meet up happens or not.
At the meet up, you can then reinforce her reignited feelings of respect and attraction by letting her experience the new you face-to-face.
Then, you simply guide her through the rest of the ex back process.
Success or Failure – It’s Up to You. Which One Do You Choose?
If you’ve bothered to ask, “What is the success rate for getting an ex back?” you will have probably discovered that most people don’t think it’s possible to get a relationship back together, even though there are some statistics that suggest more than 50% of relationships get back together (even if only temporarily) after a break up.
Friends, family and coworkers may have even been told, “Forget about her. It’s over. You need to move on,” or “Just stop calling her for a while. If she doesn’t come back, then it wasn’t meant to be. I’ve heard people say that if you let someone go and they come back, it was meant to be, but if they don’t, you have to move on.”
Yet, they don’t understand what you’re going through right now and they also don’t even know that millions of people get back together every day all over the world.
It is possible to get an ex back, even if she currently hates you or doesn’t have any feelings for you.
I’ve personally heard from 100s of guys who’ve used my program, Get Your Ex Back Super System to get their woman back and most of them start out with a woman who despises them and doesn’t want anything to do with them anymore.
I don’t hear back from every customer though.
Most guys just use the program, get their woman back and get on with their life, so I don’t know the exact success rate.
However, I can tell you one thing for sure: Trying to guess how to get your ex back without following a proven to work, step by step approach will result in you making loads of classic mistakes that turn her off and potentially ruin your chances of getting her back.
For example: Most guys who don’t know how to get an ex woman back will do things like beg, plead, try to convince her or ignore her.
Yet, those approaches have a very low success rate.
I know this because I’ve personally helped 100s of phone coaching clients to get women back and they’ve pretty much all used those techniques before getting in touch with me.
When they use my ex back approach (i.e. actively make her have feelings for you again and then guide her back into a relationship), they get their woman back.
So, if you want to get your woman back using the highest success rate approach, don’t waste any more time thinking about it.
The time is now.
Get her back before it’s too late.