If you’re unsure what to talk about with women in bars, just remember this: Talking with women in bars is no different to talking with women anywhere else (e.g. at a party, at a coffee shop, in the mall).

The main thing you have to remember is that no matter where you are, to get a woman to want you, you need to focus on triggering her feelings of sexual attraction when you interact with her.

Watch this video for some examples…

You can make almost any woman interested when you make her feel attracted to your personality and who you are as a man (e.g. by being confident, charming, funny, masculine).

However, despite how easy it is to attract women in bars, there are some things you should keep in mind:

  1. Bars are generally busy and noisy, so it’s not an ideal place for having a long, serious conversation (e.g. about work, politics, global warming, sports).
  2. Don’t make excuses about not approaching women because it’s loud. They don’t expect to have long, detailed conversations with you. Women are generally in a bar because they want to relax, and have some fun, so add to the fun by being in a good mood, getting her laughing and smiling and just not being so serious about everything.
  3. Most women don’t want to get caught up in a very serious conversation with a guy they’ve just met in a bar, so even if she brings up a serious conversation topic, don’t stick with it for too long (i.e. more than a couple of minutes).
  4. The percentage of single women who are open to hooking up with a guy for a one night stand (or a relationship), is higher in a bar than in other places (e.g. coffee shop, gym, mall), so it’s very easy to get laid or get a girlfriend.
  5. Women very rarely go to a bar alone; they will usually be with a friend, or in a group, so be prepared to talk to her and her friends.

Bearing the above points in mind, here are some mistakes to avoid making when you talk with women in bars…

1. Don’t Wait For a Woman to Make it Completely Obvious That She Wants to Talk to You Before You Approach

Women are instinctively attracted to the emotional strength in men (e.g. confidence, high self-esteem) and they are repelled by emotional weakness (e.g. self-doubt, insecurity, nervousness).

So, when a woman is in a bar, one of the best ways for her to quickly determine a guy’s level of self confidence and emotional strength, is to wait and see if he’ll make the first move and approach her.

She might look at him a couple of times to show some indirect interest and if he doesn’t make a move, she isn’t going to raise up her hand and wave him over.

She wants to see if he has the confidence to make a move, even though she’s not making it very obvious.

Why? Women instinctively know that they will be much better off with a guy who has the balls to take action when he wants something, compared to a guy who is afraid to make a move.

We live in a challenging world and weakness isn’t something that is usually rewarded with respect, financial success and loads of friends.

On the other hand, when a guy has the confidence/balls to go after what he wants with women (e.g. he approaches women he likes, asks a woman out), he will usually be more likely to succeed in life (e.g. he will go for promotions, people will respect him more because of his confidence and alpha male approach to life, etc).

So, when a guy does approach a woman, she will automatically feel some attraction for him because he is displaying the types of behaviors and personality traits that are naturally attractive to women (e.g. confidence, masculinity).

On the other hand, if a woman notices that he’s too afraid to approach to her, even when she’s giving him obvious signals like making frequent eye contact with him or smiling, then she’ll usually just assume that he’s nervous and unsure of himself, which she will find unattractive.

So, if you’re in a bar and a woman catches your eye, it’s up to you to make the first move; even if she’s not making it obvious that she wants you to.

If you don’t usually have the confidence to approach women, watch this video…

As a man, it’s your responsibility to approach a woman, rather than hoping that she starts talking to you first.


Apart from women instinctively trying to find a confident guy, rather than giving an insecure guy a chance, a woman will also wait for a guy to approach so she doesn’t look as easy.

Sometimes, a woman will want to avoid looking too easy to a guy (especially if she’s with colleagues or in a group) because she might feel embarrassed about being picked up in a bar.

In a case like that, you simply have to approach the group in an easy-going, relaxed way, and engage her and a couple of others in the group in conversation, until eventually you and the woman you like end up talking together one on one (i.e. the group accepts you and talks amongst themselves instead of focusing on you and her).

Talking to a group of women in bar

You can then get her phone number, go to the bar alone with her to get a drink (e.g. “Hey, let’s go grab a drink together and come back”), a kiss or leave the group to have sex with her that night.

Make sure you talk to the group first though, especially if she seems close with them.

A common mistake that guys make is to zone-in on the woman they like in a group, and ignore all the other people she’s with.

Even if she’s interested in you, most women will feel uncomfortable if a guy only talks to her when she’s clearly with other people.

Of course, if she hates the people she is with, she will be glad that you came along and saved her, but in most cases, she will at least like a couple of people in the group and won’t appreciate it if you ignore them and just zone in on her.

Make a point of talking to a couple of in the group otherwise you’ll come across as being a creepy, lonely, socially awkward pick-up artist who’s only trying to score with any woman who will give him a chance.

A simple way to approach a woman in a group is by walking up to them and saying something like, “Hey guys. My name’s Dan – I thought I’d come over and say hi. Some friends and I just had a pizza and now we’re here to get some drinks and enjoy the vibe. You look like a happy group. Are you guys having fun here tonight?” and let the conversation flow from there.

If you’re being a cool, confident guy when you say this, most women will be open and willing to chat with you.

2. Don’t Try Too Hard to Impress Her

If a guy approaches a woman in a bar (or anywhere else) and tries to impress her by talking about his money (or goals to make money), status, what car he drives, his job, etc., she will simply assume that he’s only trying to impress her with those things because he doesn’t feel worthy as is.

A woman wants to be able to feel attracted to your normal personality, rather than feeling as though you’re putting on a show or bragging to try and impress her.

If you want to impress a woman without trying hard, just displaying some of the personality traits and behaviors that are naturally attractive to women (e.g. confidence, charisma, masculine vibe, charm, humor).

When you approach your interactions in that way, women will feel attracted to your personality and won’t care about what you do for a living, how much money you make, etc.

Yes, some women are gold diggers and only want a super rich guy, but the majority of women just want a normal, confident guy who makes her feel good and has the potential to do well in life one day.

You don’t have to me Mr. Successful to attract most hot women.

Instead, you’ve just got to make her feel some attraction to your personality and let her see that you have potential (e.g. because you’re confident, charming, assertive, loving).

3. Don’t Be Too Nice

There’s nothing wrong with being nice to a woman, but some guys make the mistake of thinking that he has to make a woman like him as a person first before she will be interested in being with him in a romantic/sexual relationship.

Here’s the thing…

Just because a woman likes a guy as a person, it doesn’t mean she will also be feeling sexually attracted to him.

Watch this video to understand why…

There is a big difference between making a woman feel friendly affection for you compared to making her feel sexually attracted.

If you want to have sex with women and get laid or get a girlfriend, the number one thing you need to focus on is sexual attraction.

Once a woman feels sexually attracted to you, she will then also appreciate the fact that you’re a good guy.

However, prior to feeling sexually attracted to you, almost all women (except unattractive women) don’t care how nice you are.

The truth is, most guys in the world are good guys (or fairly good guys), but women don’t feel sexually attracted to them just because they’re nice.

If you want a woman to want to have sex with you, you have to trigger her feelings of sexual attraction first (e.g. by displaying confidence, making her laugh and feel girly in comparison to your masculinity).

For example: If you are having a conversation with a woman in a bar about what she does for work, the wrong way to do it would be to ask her a lot of boring questions about it as though you really give a crap about her job.

She knows that guys just talk about that stuff because they don’t know what else to say, or don’t have the balls to joke around and say whatever they want.

The best way to talk about a woman’s job is to use humor to spark her feelings of sexual attraction for you. For example…

  • You: So, what do you do for work?
  • Her: I’m a model.
  • You: (Smile and say in a joking manner) Really? You know the first thing I thought when I saw you was, “That woman over there has pretty feet. So, are you a foot model?”
  • Her: (Most likely laughing) No, I’m not a foot model.
  • You: (Still smiling and joking with her) Oh, okay. Then you must be a hair shampoo mode because you have nice hair too.
  • Her: (Most likely laughing)

Another example:

  • You: So, what do you do for a living?
  • Her: I’m an accountant.
  • You: Yeah, I thought you looked smart. I’ll have to use big words now to try to impress you.
  • Her: (Most-likely laughing).
  • You: So, you’re smart and you’re beautiful. What about some bad things about you? I guess you’re a bad cook, right?

Why does this work?

By playfully teasing her, you are showing her that you’re not intimidated by how beautiful she is.

Most guys she meets are so desperate to impress her that they try to be extra polite, nice and thoughtful when talking to her.

Yet, what these guys don’t realize is that women don’t get turned on by guys sucking up to them with the nice guy act.

Watch this video for more info…

If you want women to feel attracted to you during a conversation, don’t put on an act of being Mr. Nice or Mr. Perfect.

Just relax and let your real personality come through. If you do that, people will see you as being charismatic and interesting.

4. Don’t Give Up When She Tests You

Women will always test you by playing hard to get, acting as though they aren’t interested or are losing interest, etc.

Why do women do that?

Women test a man to see how he is going to react.

Is he going to become nervous and self-doubting, or will he remain confident and relaxed?

Will he become defensive or angry, or will he relax, smile and not worry about her confidence tests?

Will he be able to maintain a positive vibe, or will he crumble under her pressure?

If a guy crumbles when a woman ignores him, pulls back her interest in the middle of a conversation, or teases him in some way, she will lose attraction for him.

Why? Most women don’t want to align themselves with a weak man who won’t have the confidence or strength to face whatever life throws at him.

We live in a challenging world where confidence is much more useful than insecurity.

A woman doesn’t want to get stuck with an insecure guy that she will have to carry throughout life.

She wants a man that she can look up to, respect and rely on to be strong no matter how challenging life gets.

So, no matter what you talk about with women in bars, the main thing is to believe in yourself and your attractiveness to them.

Stay relaxed and confident no matter how much they test you.

When a woman notices that you remain confident, relaxed and positive no matter what she tests you with, she will not be able to stop herself from feeling a deep, instinctive and powerful attraction for you.

Attraction Vs. Words

While the words that you say can have an impact on how attracted a woman feels for you, it’s more about how you say the words that counts.

Watch this video for examples…

With the example of “naughty nurse,” try to imagine a guy saying that in a nervous, self-doubting way.

The words “naughty nurse” are important, but they are not as important as saying it with confidence and showing her that you’re relaxed and not worried about saying things like that.

So, rather than worrying a lot about what to say, I recommend that you focus more on displaying naturally attractive traits (e.g. confidence, charisma, masculine vibe) when you say whatever you say.

A lot of guys miss out on the opportunity to hook up with really beautiful, single women in bars because they waste time thinking, “I don’t know what to talk about with women in bars, so I just don’t go there anymore.”

These guys don’t realize how easy it is to talk to women in bars when you just say whatever you want.

When you can relax enough to allow a woman to experience your confidence, charm, masculine vibe, she will naturally open up and want to continue talking to you.

All you need to do then is move the conversation to a kiss, sex that night or get her number and set up a date.

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