Women are definitely impressed by a man who can engage them in an interesting two-way conversation that allows them to feel a wide variety of exciting and desirable emotions.
Yet, a good conversation isn’t all about the words. A big part of having a great conversation with a woman that makes her feel attracted to you, is to include flirting. Watch this video for some examples of how to use flirting during a conversation with a woman.
Most of the Communication Between You and Her is Non-Verbal
While it’s true that words are a critical part of a conversation, there is an incredible amount of non-verbal communication that goes on between you and a woman as well. To be successful at attracting women when you talk to them, you also need to know:
- What to say and what not to say.
- How to keep a conversation going and keep it interesting.
- How to attract a woman in many different ways during the conversation.
- How to use tonality to show your sexual interest in her, make the simplest line sound funny, attract her and connect with her on a deeper level, etc.
- How to use body language to get your message across without using words, show your sexual interest in her, make the simplest bit of conversation seem funny, attract her and connect with her on a deeper level, etc.
Learning what to say to make women feel attracted to you is important, but make sure that you also learn what personality traits and behaviors make women feel attracted to a guy. When you can attract women with your conversation style and your personality and behavior, you will find it too easy to attract and pick up women.
Women rarely come across guys who know how to turn them on with both their conversation style and personality and behavior. When you do it, you will literally see a woman’s face light up with excitement and she will make it incredibly easy to pick her up.
About the Classic Statistics on Body Language
Way back in the 1970s, research carried out by Albert Mehrabian concluded that body language accounted for a massive 55% of communication, with the spoken word accounting for only 7% and the tone of voice accounting for the remaining 38%.
You’ve probably heard that (or similar statistics) before, right? What you may not know is that Mehrabian’s studies focused specifically on what makes a person like or dislike someone based on their communication style.
While he didn’t offer any advice on body language, Mehrabian concluded that even if a person could keep a conversation going, they would experience problems making friends or attracting someone if they were unaware of how to use body language to gain a positive response.
Unfortunately, most guys don’t know that there are many things about their body language and tonality, which automatically cause many people to dislike them. As they go through life, they wonder why women are so difficult and why alpha males are often so mean to them.
Yet, these people are merely responding to the communication (the “body talk”) he is sending out.
For instance, if a woman talks to a guy who, via his body language and tonality, appears wimpy, nervous, hesitant or lacking in self-esteem, she will naturally feel turned off by him because women are naturally attracted to confident men.
Attraction is an instinctive response that happens very quickly, so if you cause women to instinctively feel turned off by you, it doesn’t matter what you say next – she’s not going to be interested.
Likewise, if a mean-spirited alpha male notices that a guy is fearful of him, he may use that knowledge to pick on him, make him the butt of jokes in front of others, manipulate him or cause him harm in some way.
Body Talk: You Can’t Turn it Off
Body language is something you are already using in everyday life without having to be consciously aware of it. The posture and body movements that you use, all “speak” for you without you having to utter a word. Your body talk isn’t something that you can turn off, but it is something you can improve.
“I speak two languages. Body and English” Mae West, actress
Body Talk: Use it Wisely
The first step in correcting your body talk is to ensure that you are “saying” what you really want to say. Some guys come across as awkward, creepy or sleazy simply by making small errors with their body language. No matter how many “funny lines” they learn to say to women, they are turning women off at a more fundamental and important level that cannot be overridden by hours in a conversation.
Here are some common examples of body language and how it “speaks” for you:
Head movements: Some guys make the mistake of nodding too much during a conversation with a woman, signaling their desperation and incredible excitement at the opportunity of being able to talk to a woman. However, other guys make the mistake of not moving their head much at all, signaling a fear to express themselves. Women can also perceive a lack of nodding or head movement to mean that the guy isn’t interested or isn’t interesting.
Facial expressions: A smile, frown, or “look” on your face can speak volumes about you. Are you relaxed about the idea of making eye contact with her, or does your facial expression show that you’re feeling nervous inside?
Do you maintain a straight, plan, polite, friendly type of facial expression when talking to a woman that you find attractive, or are you one of the cool, confident guys who aren’t afraid to be sexual, playful or very masculine with your facial expressions at times?
Shoulder movements: The angle and positioning of your shoulders can say a lot about your emotional state and confidence.
For instance, picture a man sitting at a dinner table with people he isn’t very familiar with. His shoulders are hunched downward and he keeps looking down, instead of sitting upright or back in the chair and keeping his chin level, while making eye contact with the other dinner guests.
Handling of objects: Excessive fiddling with objects, such as a pen or a set of keys can signal to a woman that you’re nervous, anxious or unsettled by the situation.
On the flip side, women often consciously (on purpose) play with their necklace, earrings and other bits of jewelery when talking to you to signal their interest. So, when it’s coming from a woman, it’s usually a good thing and when it’s coming from you, it’s usually a bad thing!
Body Talk: Get Physical
Friends naturally get physical with one another and women are attracted to men who are not “afraid” to get physical with them.
Guys who are relaxed in one another’s company will sometimes pat each other’s shoulders, punch each other on the arm or ruffle one another’s hair during the course of a normal conversation. Women reach out to touch their friends by putting their hands on each other’s arms, linking arms, or putting their arms around one another.
Close contact is a normal part of being relaxed and at ease around other people and it goes a long way to demonstrating the self-confidence that attracts a woman to a man.
Confidently taking the lead in social situations by putting your arm around a woman’s waist to guide her across a crowded room, or putting your arm on her shoulder to bring her closer so that you can hear what she’s saying at a noisy party are great ways to send out the message that you know how to “take care” of her and are comfortable leading her.
That’s a body language signal that gets a woman’s attention during conversation in a positive way.
Women Are Always Looking Out For Clues to Discover the Real You
A guy can only pretend to be confident for a short period of time. Before long, a woman will be able to pick up on various body language signals that tell her what his real state of mind is.
By looking at the posture, facial expressions and gestures that a guy uses, a woman can tell whether he’s nervous, worried, fearful, intimidated or a variety of other emotions, without necessarily having to listen a word he is saying.
Of course, it’s not just women who have the ability to read “body talk” and assess what is really going on in a situation. For instance, a friend might say they like your new haircut, but you intuitively know when they’re lying, right?
You can tell by the facial expressions made and the tonality of the comment, whether it was actually an honest or insincere compliment. We all have the ability to read body talk.
Body Talk: Keep It Real
Learning to understand every nuance of body language related to interactions with women, is a skill that takes years of dedicated practice (or a matter of hours if you watch our video programs), but at a more basic level, one of the most important things you need to know about using your body language to attract women is to be real.
Trying to be someone you’re not is not attractive. At best, it just makes you appear awkward and at worst, it makes you feel like someone who can’t be trusted. Trying be someone you’re not and attempting to “trick” women with body language amounts to the same type of reactions.
As we always say at The Modern Man, “You never need to lie to a woman” and that fundamental principle applies when you are speaking words as well as using body talk.
A guy who is clearly relaxed, confident and able to be himself is much more attractive to women than a guy who appears to be stiff, awkward, and who is ultimately trying too hard to look “okay” in the eyes of others.
Women are naturally attracted to confident guys, so if your body talk is sending out signals of nervousness, self-doubt and fear, you will always have a hard time attracting women and getting them to open up and show immediate interest…
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I like this man, body language is really effective during convo. I met this chick at a party and invite her to come sit and have a drink with me. Talking to her, my eyes were fixed on hers and i know my smile would get her, she complimented on it. Thanks dude.
Nice one. Congrats!
don’t worry about her body language unesls it is blatantly obvious that she is uncomfortable. Just think about it- you approach a stranger, particularly a girl, and she will be uncomfortable no matter how attractive you are. That’s why you sell it to her why you can be fun to be around, and do your best to do away with her fears.
dude i need yer help with something i was hanivg sex with my girl and the next day i went to work when i came back she went for a walk with her friend and i saw a diary on the table i opened it thinking there were going to be like words but instead she was drawing pictures of cocks how should i go about tellin this to her?
All I can say to this is, “Lol…”
Hey Dan, I know that a man has to keep all these things in mind when he talks to everyone and not just women he wants to sleep with. How can I be in the moment where my mind is free of trying to keep track of how my body is positioned and the tonality of my voice, and just be able to relax, so I can give off a confident, sexual, easy going, and attractive vibe? It would be in a way that feels natural and not at all forced. Where what I feel is brought out through not only what I say, but what my body language gives off. Thanks for this incredible advice.
Thanks for your question.
It’s not something that you can fake because your true self is always coming through via your body language, vibe, presence, tonality, conversation, conversation style, etc. The solution is to eliminate your insecurities, anxieties and social fears and become truly confident. The advice in Alpha Male Power will do all that for you.
Bloody hell I hope Beniza’s gf is a teenager… otherwise an aspiring life drawing artist. As long as the the drawings did not make him look like pewee herman or are of another boyfriends old fella; is there a problem?
Anyway, Dan the other day I bumped into this hot girl I had been admiring from a distance at work. I was entering the lift and she was alone. As I walked in, saw her and immediately I muted my iphone headphones gave her a smile and hi in what I thought was a confident way. She barely managed eye contact and unfriendly mumble of hello before looking at her iphone and checking Facebook. Totally disinterested in my friendly approach, like she was out of my league. I didn’t make any further effort, turned away and got out an my floor.
I wondered how Dan would have approached the same situation. What had I done wrong? and how could I have got the social status to impress her and start a conversation. The same situation happened today with another random cute chick that I just started chatting with a joke about her not knowing the floor she was getting off at; I was also more relaxed at the time, and it led to a nice exchange. Is the next product I need after the flow Dating power?
How often do you run the weekend courses? What do they offer over and above all your online products?
I can only assume your body language and the “aura” are what do it for you. I thought I was appearing confident but the first girl saw through that in a heartbeat; probably with me turning off my headset was the clue for her to think “here we go again, another punter having a crack”.
Girls have told me before that one of the best things about my appearance, is that I have a winning smile and when I am smiling, they can’t help but smile too. Unfortunately I can’t turn that smile or effect on at will; or use it reliably in attracting girls. It is either whole hearted or fake.
Thanks for your question.
About this part of your comment, “me turning off my headset was the clue for her to think “here we go again, another punter having a crack”. Don’t think like that mate! That is a negative mindset, which you are creating yourself. She may have been thinking, “Oh wow! I hope he talks to me. It will be like in the movies! I’ll be able to tell my girlfriends that we met in a lift and just hit it off!”
The best program for you would be Dating Power because you will learn how to think like a confident man. We teach our Confidence Building System in the program and when you follow that, you will become more and more confident every day of your life. Your confidence literally keeps getting stronger and stronger every day. You can imagine the level that I’m at.
About your question of aura: Exactly. My confidence is real. Women notice it and can feel it when around me. It turns them on like electricity turns a light on in your home.
About the courses: http://www.themodernman.com/courses_seminars/weekend-bootcamps.html
BTW: All the techniques we teach on our live courses are included in Dating Power: http://store.themodernman.com/in/ff7fdd
You have pointed out what in retrospect it was quite obviously a negative mindset; and that is where I am finding your book and other resources really helpful in improving the confidence on a daily basis; so I can make it and not fake it in situations like this. I will take your advice and get Dating Power in due course.
You’re welcome mate.
That’s what we are here for mate: To guide you to success! I look forward to hearing a success story from you after you’ve watched Dating Power and put it into practice. Please post it up here: http://www.themodernman.com/success/modern-man-success-stories.html
Good day Mr Dan,many thanks for your news letter and updates,please i have a question bothering my mind.I work as a teacher in a primary school and recently a lady was employed to handle a vacant class,i liked her the first time i saw her,i went further by getting her phone and then we chat online but i notice she wasn’t free with me may be because we work in the same environment but i tried as much as possible to correct her attitude.My question is how do i handle office relationship,my boss is not the problem here but i do i cope knowing fully well that we will be seeing ourselves everyday
Silas Lagos Nigeria
Thanks for your question.
You don’t need to correct her attitude or try to convince her to like you. You need to make her feel attracted to you. Check out these two posts:
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