After a break up, a guy’s confidence in his ability to attract other women is usually his biggest hurdle to begin dating quality women again, especially if his girlfriend (fiancé or wife) was the one to break up with him.
Since women are attracted to the emotional strength in men (e.g. confidence, high self-esteem, etc) and turned off by the weakness (e.g. nervousness, anxiety, low self-esteem, etc), if he tries to “get out there and meet women” in a state of low confidence, he will get rejected most times that he tries.
If won’t matter if he is wearing an expensive new shirt and has sprayed on the latest designer cologne; if he lacks confidence in his attractiveness to women, he will be turning women off.
How about you?
Do you have confidence in your attractiveness and sex appeal to women? Are you able to attract beautiful women when you talk to them?
Watch this video to understand how a woman’s attraction for a man works and how you can use it to successfully begin dating after a break up…
As you will discover from the video above, your dating success after a break up really comes down to your ability to trigger a woman’s feelings of attraction for you when you meet her.
If you attempt to talk to new women and you’re simply hoping that they like you because you’re a good guy, then you’re going to get rejected a lot. These days, women select a man based on how much sexual attraction he makes her feel and if he also happens to be a good guy, that is seen as a bonus.
Attracting Women With Your Confidence
One of the most important traits that you need to be successful at dating women after a break up or dating women in general, is confidence.
Women are instinctively attracted to a man’s confidence and without it, you’re just not going to be able to get the kind of women you really want.
The contrast example here is to think about what we men find most attractive in a woman when we first meet her: Her physical appearance.
If a woman put on a lot of weight when she was in a relationship and therefore became less physically appealing to guys, she’s not going to have a lot of value on the dating market, so dating after a break up is going to be just as difficult for her as it will be for a guy who lacks confidence.
She might be able to attract shy guys who lack confidence in themselves or guys who are willing to accept a less attractive woman just to have sex with, but if she wants a confident guy who can have his choice of women (i.e. the type of guy that most women want), then she’s going to have to get on the treadmill and lose some weight.
For men, it’s not about losing weight or getting into shape.
Instead, a man has to improve his confidence and his ability to attract women during an interaction. If he doesn’t, he will get rejected and will probably end up making excuses about not being tall enough, rich enough or good looking enough to attract women.
Watch this video to understand the real reason why a lot of good men fail with women…
As you will discover by watching the video above, guys make up all sorts of excuses for their lack of success with women, but it really comes down to their inability to attract women.
Recharging Your Confidence By Having Sex With New Women
Obviously, a great way to get over a break up is to have sex with some new women.
Not just any women though.
To truly move on and feel good about yourself and where you life is heading, you will need to have sex with women that you see as being more attractive than your ex.
Yet, if your confidence has taken a knock as a result of being dumped or going through a messy break up, you probably won’t be feeling very confident about approaching and picking up hot women.
If that’s the case for you, watch this video…
As you will discover from the video above, your confidence is pretty much under your control.
You can either use the power of your mind to feel more confident, or you can make the mistake of using it to make yourself feel insecure, unworthy and nervous around attractive women.
Mistakes to Avoid When Dating After a Break Up
When you finally do decide to get out there and meet new women, here are some common mistakes to avoid…
1. Revealing too much about your ex
When you meet a new woman, the most important thing to her is how she feels with you, not what your relationship history is.
Some guys make the mistake of approaching women and then, after he runs out of things to say, he will begin discussing his recently failed relationship.
If you spend a lot of time talking to a woman about your relationship break up, the heartache it caused and the on-going confidence issues you have as a result, you’re not showing her what she needs to see to feel sexually attracted to you (i.e. confidence in yourself, feeling happy with or without any woman in your life, etc).
She might listen to you out of kindness, but she probably won’t want to have sex with you because “sympathy sex” usually only ever happens in the movies. In real life, women are attracted and turned on by guys who attract them and turn them on, not by guys who need to be taken care of emotionally.
So, if a woman asks you whether or not you are single, just say “Yes, I am.” If she asks if you’ve ever had a girlfriend or recently broke up with one, just say, “Yes, I was in a relationship, but now I am single.”
If you’re at a bar and she tries to get you to go into more detail about the relationship, just laugh and say, “Oh, that is in the past now. We don’t need to waste our night talking about that” and then change the subject with something like, “So, anyway. What’s the most fun thing you’ve done in the last couple of months?”
If she still insists, get her to tell you her latest break up story first and then tell her yours. That way, both you and her will be on the same level.
2. Looking for a clone of your girlfriend
Another common mistake that a guy will make when dating after a break up, is to look for women who remind his of his ex-girlfriend.
Trying to find an exact replica of his ex is mistake because it prevents a guy from seeing what other women have to offer. It’s not a woman’s hair color, height, tit size or any other external feature that makes her the perfect woman for you; it is who she is as a person and how she responds to you as the person you are.
Sure, she has to be beautiful (of course), but the way your ex looked is not the only type of physical beauty that attracts you. Just think about the wide range of women that you masturbate over when you look at porn.
The truth is, you will create a different type of love, connection and sexual experience with each woman you have a relationship with. Just because you enjoyed a fulfilling love connection with your ex, it doesn’t mean that you can’t experience an even greater love and connection next time.
After all of my relationship experience (I’m now in a committed relationship that I don’t intend on breaking up. Update: We recently got married), I can tell you this with absolute certainty…
The great times, the love and the amazing feelings that you experienced with your ex are NOTHING compared to what you will experience when you become a better man than you are right now and can attract even HIGHER quality women.
Being able to attract high quality women leads to a completely different life experience. The sex is better, you feel happier, you feel proud to call her your girlfriend (or wife) and you can actually maintain your woman’s attraction over time in the relationship, rather than it fading away and leading to yet another break up for you.
3. Bringing your emotional baggage into conversations, dates and relationships
If a guy has been dumped, has gone through a messy break up, or has been cheated on or lied to by the woman he loved, it will often be difficult to let that pain go and not bring it into the next relationship he has.
While his new woman might seem trustworthy, a guy who has been cheated on or lied to by a woman will usually struggle to fully trust a woman from then on.
Yet, here’s the thing…
If you want a relationship to reach the higher stages of true love and commitment, you need to give the woman your full trust.
If she abuses that trust, then it will be her loss when you dump her and she loses a great man.
However, if you don’t give her that trust, you will end up turning her off by being insecure, clingy, jealous or overly protective throughout the relationship. The love will never grow, mature and reach its true potential and as a result, you and her will eventually get to the point where you wonder why you are still together.
You might get along and have a good history together, but if the love hasn’t ever grown and reached its true potential, something just won’t feel right between you and her.
Are You Ready to Begin Dating Beautiful Women?
To make sure that you’re ready to succeed at dating new women, make sure that you prepare yourself by sharpening up your attraction skills.
The better you are at attracting women when you meet them, the easier it will be for you to begin dating after a break up.