Most women don’t like shy guys because women are attracted to the emotional strength in men (e.g. confidence) and turned off by the weakness (e.g. shyness, insecurity, anxiety).
It’s not because women are mean, but because a woman’s attraction for a man is based on his survival traits. In other words, if he and her were forced back into basic survival (e.g. after a hurricane) would he get pushed around by more confident guys and thus find it harder to survive and to protect her?
At work, would a shy guy be able to get promoted like a confident guy would and if he couldn’t, would that mean that he’d find it harder to survive, thrive and prosper in this world?
Watch this video to understand how a woman’s attraction for a man really works…
As you will discover from the video above, women can feel attracted to guys for a variety of personality traits (e.g. confidence, charisma) and behaviors (e.g. assertiveness, the ability to make people laugh, determination and drive to succeed, being charming towards women, etc).
When answering the question of, “Do women like shy guys?” it’s important to talk about the difference between a woman liking a guy and feeling sexual attraction for a guy.
Yes, some women will like a shy guy as a person, but that doesn’t mean she will feel sexually attracted and turned on by him, or that she will prefer a shy guy over a confident guy.
Women are sexually attracted to the emotional strength in men (e.g. confidence, self-esteem, drive, determination to succeed, etc) and turned off by the weakness (shyness, nervousness, insecurity).
A shy guy can get lucky with women at times, but if he then becomes insecure, clingy and jealous in a relationship, the woman will either break up with him, cheat on him or constantly nag him to be more of a man for her. If he can’t do that, the relationship will fall apart.
The secret to success with women is not to be a vulnerable, nervous, “please pity me” shy guy and hope to get lucky with women who give you a chance and then never really love you as much as they would love a real man. What is the secret to success with women? Simply continue being the good guy that you are, but become a confident good guy.
Learn how to make a woman feel intense sexual attraction for you, learn how to maintain her respect for you and fall more deeply in love with you during a relationship. You don’t have to become a bad boy or a jerk; the secret to success with women is to be a good guy who is also confident, masculine and socially intelligent. When that happens, you become what women refer to as a real man.
Why Women Usually Reject Shy Guys
Shy guys get rejected by women because shyness is a sexual turn off for most women.
A woman wants to feel as though you are mentally and emotionally stronger than her, not weaker.
Being shy or nervous around a woman makes her feel stronger than you, so the idea of submitting to you sexually just doesn’t feel right.
In many cases, a shy guy will make a woman feel as though she needs to be gentle with him because he’s so emotional sensitive.
If your aim is to get a woman to want to have sex with you or want to be your girlfriend, you have to make her feel feminine and girl in response to your confidence and masculinity.
Yes, some women will accept a weaker man (e.g. an insecure, clingy or shy guy) because they want to control him for a while to feel good about themselves, before they dump him and feel even better about themselves because he begs and pleads for another chance.
Other women will accept a weak man until something better comes along (e.g. so he can help her pay rent, or can help her from feeling lonely, etc), but if being accepted by a woman like that is your “dating strategy” then prepare for a lot of heartache and disappointment.
A shy guy might get lucky and find a woman that will be with him for now, but when a more confident man comes along, most women will either cheat on the shy guy or dump him and fall right into the arms of the new guy.
It may sound harsh and selfish of women to do that to a shy guy, but men often do the same thing to women by accepting less attractive women and then waiting for something better to come along.
Additionally, some women will accept a shy guy because they worried about being dumped or cheated on by a more confident man who can easily attract other women.
A woman like this assumes that a shy guy will stick by her side because he won’t be able to attract many other women, so there will be less chance for her to get dumped or cheated on.
Yet, that isn’t how it always turns out.
In most cases, she will end up “wearing the pants” in the relationship and as a result, she will lose respect and attraction for him over time.
Lacking attraction and respect, the couple’s sex life will most-likely dry up and it their relationship may become more of a convenient friendship where they stay together as a mean of paying the bills, mortgage and so on.
If you want to successful with women, the answer is not to be shy and hope that women take pity on you, love you for being weak and never leave you for a real man. The answer is to become and be the type of man that women desperately want to be with and never want to leave.
Watch this video to understand how to be the type of man that a woman will never want to leave…
As you will discover from the video above, being irresistible to women is not all about looks, money, height, having a big dick or having a lot of status in society.
Most women (not all) are happy to be with a guy who can make her feel attracted to who he is on the inside, rather than what he looks like on the outside or how much money he has in his bank account.
Shy Guys Who Act Like a “Friend” to Hopefully Score With a Girl
Some shy guys put on an act of just wanting to be friends with a woman, because they are too afraid of being rejected by her or too shy to show their sexual interest.
What many of these guys don’t realize is that being liked as a friend by a woman is not the same as being lusted after as a potential boyfriend or lover.
Watch this video to understand why…
As you will discover from the video above, there’s nothing wrong with being nice to a woman, but it’s not the thing that will make her feel sexually attracted to you and turned on by you.
While the shy guy is playing Mr. Friendly and Innocent, a confident guy simply needs to have a quick interaction with her, make her feel sexual attraction and then escalate to kissing, sex and a relationship.
After that, the confident guy will not only become the woman’s boyfriend, but they will likely become best friends in their relationship as well. They will have great sex (women are more turned on by confident guys), experience love and have fun together as a couple who have a mutual attraction for each other.
Here’s the thing…
For a woman to want to be more than “just friends” with you, she needs to feel sexually attracted to you and the bottom line is that shyness is not a sexually attractive trait in a man.
Sure, there are some women who like to have a shy guy as their boyfriend because they enjoy having control over him, but needless to say, this does not make for a healthy relationship.
In most cases, the woman will simply dump him or cheat on him if a better man comes along. Since a guy’s shyness is usually down to his lack of confidence and low self-esteem, the woman will usually be able to manipulate and control him with the threat of a break up.
His low self-esteem will cause him to think that no other woman would ever be interested in him, so he will decide to put up with a controlling, disrespectful woman rather than face the prospect of being lonely again.
The Dating Life of a Shy Guy
Here are a couple of examples of how a shy guy’s refusal to be a confident guy eventually leads him down a path of being rejected, used or dumped by women…
Ed the Friend
Ed had been a friend to Ellie for years, but he secretly wanted her to be his girlfriend.
Although he felt comfortable around unattractive women, he couldn’t stop himself from feeling nervous and shy around beautiful women in social situations.
Sensing his emotional weakness, most women rejected him and after a while, Ed developed the belief that most women were bitches and that Ellie was the girl for him.
After all, she was the only pretty girl who was nice to him and had shown him any interest. Over time, he began to see her as “the one” and because he was so obsessed with her, he looked at her appearance and behavior as being way more attractive than it actually was.
In a mistaken attempt to get her to “like” him (instead of feel sexual attraction for him), Ed did everything for her; doing huge favors and always there as a shoulder to cry on whenever her latest boyfriend did something to upset her.
Ellie loved having Ed around as a friend, but his shyness and lack of confidence meant that she didn’t feel any sexual desire for him.
After a while, Ellie began to take advantage of Ed by occasionally calling him up when she needed help paying her rent, never admitting that she’d wasted the money buying sexy outfits to impress a guy that she was lusting after.
She knew that Ed would do whatever it took to hopefully get a chance with her, even if it meant wasting his own money to support her current lifestyle that she clearly couldn’t afford and that had nothing to do with impressing him.
Hoping to get her to like him, Ed dutifully helped her to pay the rent whenever she asked and even bought groceries for her in the hope that it would show her how much he cared and that he was capable of providing for her if they got into a relationship.
The problem was, the more he tried to “be there” for her and to be her best friend, the less sexually attractive he became to her.
She was turned off by how easily she could control him and get him to do whatever she wanted, even though she wasn’t giving him what he really wanted.
While Ed was masturbating porn every week, Ellie was hooking up with new guys and then running to Ed to cry and complain about how bad the other guys treated her.
Ed would tell her things like, “You deserve better than that! Why do you go for such jerks?” and would then explain to her that he wasn’t like those guys at all.
In his mind, he was hoping that he could convince her to like him by explaining how much of a good guy he was compared to the other guys she was feeling attracted to.
Yet, little did he know that you can convince a woman to like you and here is why…
As you will discover from the video above, many guys waste much of their lives hoping to get women to realize how good of a guy they are.
Of course, it usually works out nicely in Hollywood movies where the nice, shy, awkward guy gets the girl by the end of the movie, but real life is a lot different.
Here’s another example of the dating life of a shy guy…
Sam the “Lucky” Guy
Sam’s shyness made it hard for him to develop real friendships with people, so his social life was pretty much non-existent.
Although he went out most weekends, he rarely spoke to any women because he was afraid of being rejected. One night, a drunk woman chose to approach him and say hi. After a few more drinks, they left the bar together and went home for sex.
The thing is, women rarely, if ever approach men, but this particular woman had just been dumped by her boyfriend (a confident guy that could have pretty much any woman he wanted), so she felt drawn to Sam’s shyness and vulnerability.
She was drunk, but instinctively, she knew that Sam’s shyness and lack of self-esteem would give her the perfect opportunity to be in control of everything if they had a relationship. She knew that Sam felt extremely lucky to be with her and she used his insecurity and feelings of unworthiness to make herself feel better about having been dumped by her boyfriend.
A few weeks into the relationship, Sam became clingy and she began to feel turned off the idea of being with him.
Before long, she called him up to say, “We have to talk” and then met up with him to break up with him in person and watch him grovel, cry and beg for another chance. She used his begging and pleading to feel even better about herself and broke up with him and never looked back.
Over the years, I have been surprised at how common the “Sam” story is for guys out there.
It’s pretty much the most common story I come across; especially for guys who are looking to get an ex girlfriend back.
Why? Most guys fumble their way into relationships without any real knowledge or awareness of how to attract and seduce women properly. So, rather than attracting women by choice, they rely on getting lucky and hope that everything just works out.
Yet, it’s not 1900 anymore.
In the past, a woman had to remain a virgin, get married and then stick with her man for life. Even if she wasn’t happy, she had to stay with him because it was shameful to get divorced.
If a guy is unable to guide his woman into deeper feelings of love, respect and attraction for him over time, she will usually just break up with him and move on.
Today’s women are encouraged by society to break up with unsatisfactory men, so the days of guys being able to get through life as a shy, insecure guy are pretty much over.
Are You a Shy Guy?
Asking, “Do women like shy guys?” and hoping to hear “Yes, they do! Shyness is really cute! Be shy!” is a classic example of where guys go wrong when it comes to success with women.
If you want your choice of women, if you want to be successful with women and if you want to stop being rejected by the women you like, then you have to work WITH nature, not AGAINST it.
Women are naturally attracted to the emotional strength in men, not the weakness.
If you want to flow with nature, you need to be emotionally strong as a man, rather than expecting women to take pity on you even though you are shy and insecure.
If you are unwilling to become a stronger guy than you are right now, you can’t expect women to suddenly change their natural instincts and start liking shy guys.