A big part of being a charismatic man is having the ability to trigger feelings of sexual attraction inside of a woman, simply based on your body language, vibe and conversation style.
Charisma is one of those words you will often hear being used to describe amazing people, but what does is really mean to be charismatic and is it possible for any guy to become a charismatic man?
Can a guy like you be looked upon as a charming, loveable and charismatic man by women? Is it possible for you to become the man that women go “weak at the knees” over?
Popular culture will tell you, “No! You have to be tall, dark and handsome and live a James Bond lifestyle to have that type of effect on women.” Yet, as history has continually shown, the masses are usually wrong.
The truth is that you, yes you, can be a highly-charismatic man that women lust after, people love and men respect and admire. You are allowed to be a charismatic man. Charisma is not reserved for celebrities, rich people or good looking people.
Don’t believe the masses of people who simply don’t understand how attraction between men and women really works. You can be the sort of man that makes women feel intense attraction for you and see you as being a charming, charismatic man.
Charisma is Invisible, But the Effects Are Easy to See
Although charisma isn’t something that can be seen with the naked eye, it is something that has a visible effect on the people who encounter it. People sense it and naturally react in a positive way to it.
Charismatic men have an almost “unreal” ability to light up a room simply by being in it. People suddenly pay attention and are keenly interested to watch him, listen to him and get involved in whatever he seems to be interested in. When a charismatic man interacts with a woman, you will almost always see her smiling and showing excited interest in him right away.
You’ve Got it in You Too
According to the findings of various psychologists over the last few decades, charisma is thought to be only 50% natural born ability and the remaining 50% is based on a set of skills that can be learned. I tend to agree, but I have a different way of looking at it.
The way I see it is that everyone has their own natural “vibe” and charisma about them. When they develop the additional 50% by improving their overall social skills and confidence, they create a unique type of charisma that only they can have.
I believe that each of us has the potential to become a more amazing and charismatic version of ourselves, simply by developing a certain set of skills that all charismatic people have. This is one of the reasons why The Modern Man approach to success with women always leads guys to amazing results.
We always advise that you should BE YOURSELF, while also adding in the extra skills and socializing techniques that we provide through our programs. The end result is that you become the most charismatic, interesting, likeable, confident and happy version of yourself possible.
Women love you for YOU, not for some “act” that you put on. You get to be the REAL YOU and women love you for that. It’s just that you’re a much cooler, confident and more interesting version of you. You’re not being held back by insecurities, nervousness and misunderstandings about what women really want from men.
What Makes a Man Charismatic?
According to a study carried out by psychologists in the UK, charismatic men possess three distinct qualities:
1. A charismatic man feels strong emotions.
Uncharismatic guys usually hide their emotions during conversation by sticking to polite, safe and boring conversations. They find it hard to express themselves and be real in the moment. Women feel bored when interacting with them and most people either don’t notice them or don’t want to include guys like that in social activities.
Additionally, guys who lack charisma feel sexual attraction for a woman, but hide it behind an act of being a really nice guy or pretending like they only want to be friends. Charismatic men, on the other hand, are confident and socially intelligent enough to embrace the emotion they are feeling and allow it to come to the surface.
2. A charismatic man compels others to feel the same emotions as he does.
Uncharismatic guys don’t have enough confident and presence to effect other people with their emotions.
An uncharismatic man might be talking to a group of people and feel excited about a topic of conversation that comes up, but even though he is excited about it, he fails to get others interested in talking about it and an awkward vibe ensues. He then wonders why such a thing keeps happening to him, but doesn’t know where to turn to learn and fix his problems.
Research into the “charming” effect of charisma has revealed that individuals with an infectious personality, unknowingly encourage others to copy the body language they use and adopt the attitude and mood they represent.
This means that on meeting a charismatic man, most people will find themselves beginning to copy his body language and mimic his facial expressions. Without being aware of it, they will automatically begin to hold themselves in a matching posture to mirror his movements and expressions. When he smiles, they smile.
3. A charismatic man is his own man, uninfluenced by other charismatic individuals.
A big part of being charismatic is about having great social skills and a good understanding about people and psychology. Personally speaking, when I’m in a social situation, I’m not worrying about what other people are thinking of me and I’m not doubting myself and I’m not comparing myself to others.
I’m on a completely different level that most people in the room. Regardless if there are other charismatic men in the room, venue, bar, club, etc – it simply doesn’t affect me. I’m Dan and I know that as soon as a woman begins interacting with me, she is going to feel something that she’s been yearning to feel for a long time.
Recently, a new friend of mine (who is 6 feet 2 inches tall, has a gym body and would be considered by many as being “good looking”) asked me, “Dan…you have a presence about you that turns heads, makes guys move out of the way when you walk through the room and makes women keep looking at you. How do you do it?”
I explained some of the essential things we teach in our programs (which I won’t reveal in this article) and also added, “Basically, I don’t have the insecurities that most of these guys are plagued by. I’m standing here in a state of true confidence.
I understand things that most people will never understand about socializing, psychology, attraction and being an alpha male. Knowledge is only power if used…and I use it.”
Famous Charismatic Men
Johnny Depp is a great example of how charisma is not about having a specific type of personality (e.g. a bubbly, outgoing personality) or having model looks. Each man has his own unique type of charisma, yet most men don’t know how to bring it to the surface.
Depp is a man with undeniable, yet understated charisma is the actor Johnny Depp. He has a “likeability” factor that is hard to define but, like all charismatic men, he is able to win the affection of others without any apparent effort.
Since they don’t know how to be a charismatic man, a lot of men try to convince themselves that it’s all about looks, money, cars and any other insecurity guys like cloud their mind with.
“Oh, but Johnny Depp isn’t ugly. Look at him in Pirates of the Caribbean. People think he is good looking” guys will say, not realizing that women wouldn’t be interested in Depp if he wasn’t the cool, charismatic individual that he is.
I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve been contacted via the site and a guy says, “Everyone tells me I’m good looking, but I haven’t had a serious girlfriend and am still a virgin” or “I work out at the gym, I’m fairly good looking, I have a great job, but women aren’t interested in me when I talk to them. What am I doing wrong?” The fact is, charismatic men draw others towards them with their personality. You don’t get to be charismatic because you have a certain facial structure or have built up your biceps in the gym.
Charisma is a deeper trait that is way more valuable than mere looks. If you aren’t ready to accept that, then you aren’t ready to become a charismatic man. You’re probably going to put yourself through more years of unnecessary self-doubt, frustration, loneliness and feelings of worthlessness, until you finally can’t take it anymore and want to change. If you believe that it’s all about looks and money, then you have been brainwashed by what you’ve been watching on TV commercials, in music videos or in Hollywood movies.
Charismatic Leaders
Charisma is a quality that is often found in men who are great leaders rather than great “lookers.” Winston Churchill, for example, had charisma; Martin Luther King and Napoleon also had a charismatic ability to attract the attention and support of others.
They weren’t charismatic because they were “tall, dark and handsome” – they were charismatic due to deeper, more important traits that most guys simply don’t know how to develop.
One of the qualities that all three men shared in common, was the ability to communicate as a leader; as an alpha male.
When Churchill gave his famous, “Never before was so much owed by so many to so few” speech in reference to the Royal Air Force’s defense of Britain during World War II, it was his posture, tone of voice and facial expressions as much as his word choice that rallied an entire nation behind him.
In all three cases, their natural charisma was probably something they weren’t even consciously aware of, it was just who they were and how they expressed themselves.
If you asked them to teach you how to be charismatic, they’d simply have to guess, because studies conducted by psychologists over the years have found that charismatic people usually don’t know what it is that makes other people see them as charismatic.
Think about this…
If Winston Churchill, Martin Luther King and Napoleon were not alpha, but instead were shy, nervous types, do you think they would have had the charisma and charm to achieve what they did? Who would listen to them and follow their lead, if they were too nervous, shy and fearful to charismatically state their case?
If you continue to go through your life being suppressed by your fears, insecurities and anxieties, don’t expect the world to start falling at your feet. Uncharismatic men are forgettable, barely noticed and miss out on many of the joys of life.
Every man has the potential to be a charismatic alpha male, it’s just that most guys don’t know how to do it. You have an opportunity to be a great man.
The question is: Are you man enough to take the first step in the direction of becoming a charismatic man? Or, will you put yourself through more years of brainwashed torture, thinking that you’re not good enough and could never be the man you imagine being in your daydreams?
Observing Charismatic Guys in Social Situations
A great starting point when beginning your journey to become a truly charismatic man that women lust after, people love and other men respect, is to simply become more aware of the effect that charismatic people have on you.
Most men with charisma don’t know why people see them as charismatic or HOW they are doing it, but you can learn a lot by observing their communication style, the body language they use and how they approach social interactions with women.
One of the first things you may notice is that charismatic men don’t try too hard. They don’t try to make themselves the centre of attention, by acting like a loud and annoying person. Their true skill is drawing people towards them through being genuinely likeable. One of the most important ways to be likeable is to understand and live one of the golden rules of charisma.
A Golden Rule of Charisma
One of the golden rules of being charismatic is to focus more on making others feel good about themselves and less on trying to make them feel good about you. Stop trying to look good and start making people feel good.
It’s not about you, it’s about them and how they feel when around you.
This is not to say that you should become Mr. Complimentary and spend your time faking your interest in people. People who are over-complimentary and insincere are not charismatic. It has to be real.
You have to be unafraid to be there in the moment, embrace the feelings you have (instead of hiding them away in fear) and be your true self. You have the ability to be a charismatic man, with your own unique, amazing type of charisma. It is within you, but it’s up to you whether you are going to be brave enough to unleash it and live it.
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O.K. I like the material. Wish I could afford to purchase the good material, just lacking funds. I work every day paying bills like everyone else. I really like the part where you explain the end to end conversation at a bar or club, speak to each and every person. But for me I’m a construction guy, not to book smart, so I try to conversate and eventually get lost into what someone is going into. Should I get a dictionary and study study study, which I don’t have much time for, or just be a listener? This works with some who have alot to say, but I feel when I get into some conversations I bore them. I try to be funny or charismatic, but I just can’t seem to put the words together just right, even if I study study study. I have however started to do karaoke and multiple bars, which leads me to different types of people, with some feedback from them first. What I really want to know is how I can be more intelligent sounding to keep a conversation going? I mainly try to be myself, maybe that’s all I need.
Thanks for the emails
Bill
Hi Bill
Thanks for your question.
Yes, I provide the solution for this problem in Better Than a Bad Boy. It’s unfortunate that you can’t afford to get the program right now.
To give you a bit of insight into what I teach in that section of Better Than a Bad Boy: I was coaching a client who was following my advice really well and was being himself, but kept switching into fake personas to try and impress the women. The women didn’t like it and the conversations ended. So, I gave him the advice that I teach in Better Than a Bad Boy and he then began to truly be himself during the conversations and interactions. That night, things got better and better for him and women finally began responding well to him. Then, the next night, he only had to talk to two women the entire night because they both fell for him. The first one was extremely attracted to him and fell in love with him during the hour that they spoke (prior to learning from me, he couldn’t keep a conversation going for more than a few minutes with a girl), but he ditched her because he didn’t find her especially attractive. The second woman had the same reaction and they spent 3 hours locked onto each other, talking, getting physical and falling in love.
The best part? He was totally being himself, so she fell for HIM and not for some false persona. She was at the same level of intelligence as him and they both connected on what THEY liked to talk about, rather than him trying to connect with a girl who wasn’t his intellectual equal.
The solution isn’t to study the dictionary, but to become a better listener as you mentioned, while also becoming a more interesting person to talk to. The programs I recommend for you are:
1. The Ultimate Guide to Conversation.
2. Better Than a Bad Boy.
When you’re ready to make this investment in yourself, don’t hesitate for a moment. We offer a money back guarantee, but you won’t be needing that. You will quickly see how powerful the advice is when you use it in your life and see how differently women (and people in general) begin responding to you.
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan,
I’ve always found Johhny Depp interesting because people like him but he doesn’t strike me as an alpha male or someone who is especially confident or at least doesn’t display it in ambundence. I feel like I have a certain charisma to me I can tell people are fond of me and find me interesting and include me in conversations even if I’m not talking to them or making much effort. Not in a way where there babysitting me in a conversation because I lack confidence just because I don’t say much.
So basically can you be successful with women if your not exceptionally confident or talkative? Can you be quietly confident can any guy be good with women if he doesn’t talk much or do you have to be the classic talker.
Thanks, Johnny
Hey Johnny
Thanks for your question.
Yes, you are correct. You don’t have be outgoing and super-talkative to be successful with women. The style of masculinity that I teach in Alpha Male Power and Better Than a Bad Boy means allows you to attract women on the deepest level possible, without having to be an outgoing type of personality. The specific style that I teach also means that guys will respect you, you’ll be more likely to get promoted at work (because you’ll think, feel and behave like a leader and people will recognize that) and more people will eagerly want to be your close friend.
Check out what customers are saying in the comments of the Better Than a Bad Boy and Alpha Male Power page to get more of an idea of the wider benefits of what you will learn from us here at The Modern Man.
Cheers
Dan
Dan,
Can I clarify something you said to me when we spoke the other day during the phone coaching session. You said people have to have a reason to want to be your friend make the effort etc but I was thinking about this yesterday and remembered I use to run a few house parties at my parents house when they went away and sure I got a lot of people turning up (they had a reason to) but they wern’t interested in ME they were only interested in my parties. I mean it was nice to have people contacting me and being more friendly but their not interested in me. Same with inviting guys to those modelling afterparties like you said I know guys would be keen on coming but its got very little to do with me I know its a start and gets the ball rolling but I don’t want to be used. I’ve fell into that trap before.
Cheers again
Jack
Hi Jack
Thanks for your question.
That’s because when you organize things, people get the impression that you’re doing it in the hope that they will like you. If you want people to respect you, you’ve got start by respecting yourself. Don’t be a Mr. Organizer who goes out of his way to do everything for everyone without expecting people to be thanking the heck out of him. People should be super grateful for what you do. That will only happen if you think, behave and act like an alpha male.
Refer to: The Consequences of Not Being an Alpha Male
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan
I’ll give it a crack man but no doubt I’ll end up speaking to you again in the next few months I didn’t even make a dent in my questions when I spoke to you.
-Jack
Hey Jack
I hope you do mate. Please take action on the things we spoke about. I would hate to chat again and hear that you still haven’t taken steps towards doing the things we spoke about. Make it happen my friend. Life isn’t a movie that you watch, it’s a movie you create day by day. Take action and make things happen rather than sitting around waiting for the “scene” to change.
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan,
Thats me lol I think I just need to get some good momentum to kick in and I’ll be away its just gotten disheartening lately trying but not getting much back especially when its tough enough to take action in the first place it can feel like the whole world is working against you or your doomed or wahetever lol.
Appreciate the help.
Jack
Hi Jack
Instead of thinking that way, look for ways that show you how the world is working FOR your success. It’s a much better mindset. Look for ways that women are looking for you to be their man, instead of the opposite.
Cheers
Dan
“Dan…you have a presence about you that turns heads, makes guys move out of the way when you walk through the room and makes women keep looking at you. How do you do it?” That’s is the mastery charisma that I’m talking about. Granted, I’m a believer in my own presence and confidence and it’s constantly building. I’m looking forward to the day that I get that. lol
Cheers Bro,
Sid
Hey Sid
Thanks mate.
Good to see that you have a higher level of self-belief now, but make it stronger by telling yourself, “I’m already there. This is it. I’ve made it” instead of thinking that you’ll get there one day. It moves things along faster.
Cheers
Dan