Having the love of great friends in your life makes life so much more enjoyable to live.
Without great friends, it’s only natural that you might feel left out and lonely all the time. Be the type of guy that people want to be friends with and they will naturally try to build a friendship with you.
If you’ve ever looked for advice on how to meet new friends, you will no doubt have come across countless suggestions along the lines of joining a club or working as a volunteer in a local group charity project.
This is all well and good and it makes sense to a point, but it doesn’t fully answer the question of how to meet new friends for a guy.
It’s easy for women to go and join clubs and make friends because almost all of the single guys there will immediately be trying to hit on her and get laid, make her a girlfriend or at least be her friend and hope that he can eventually sleep with her one day.
Obviously, going to places where you’ll meet other people is a good starting point, but to make new friends, you really need to learn how to be the type of guy that others eagerly want to be friends with.
Joining a club isn’t the answer or volunteering is not the answer on how to meet new friends for a guy, because if a guy goes to a club and isn’t able to attract the women there or make the guys respect him, he’s usually going to have a hard time making any friends.
Sure, he might be able to befriend the nerds and unattractive women, but if he wants to be friends with the “cool crowd” and have the attractive women like him (and want him), he can’t just expect that to happen because he’s a nice guy.
Depending on a guy’s confidence and social skills, he might be someone who tends to blend into the wallpaper wherever he goes. Maybe he’s the type who feels nervous, anxious or uncomfortable early on and feel that people like him more when they’ve had a chance to get to know him.
Yet, as you may know from your own life experience, cool people and hot women don’t always give you that chance.
If that sounds familiar to you, then it doesn’t really matter how many clubs you join or how much volunteering you do, because you’re probably going to come and go without anyone (that you really like and want to be friends with) really noticing that you were there at all.
To change this, you need to become a guy who makes his presence felt in a way that makes others glad you are there and keen to get to know you.
Be the Guy That Women Want and You Will Automatically Meet New Friends
As a guy, there’s no easier way to meet and build new friendships than to be the sort of guy that women are attracted to.
When you are able to attract women with your personality, confidence, charisma and charm, women compete for your attention and as a result, you end up getting a lot of party invites, going on a lot of dates and having a lot of sex.
When you get a new girlfriend or are dating multiple women at once, you then meet a lot of new people through those women (e.g. at parties, events that you attend together, etc).
Additionally, when you are the guy who can attract women, other guys want to be around you so they can hopefully get some of your crumbs (i.e. the women you don’t want or don’t have time to sleep with).
So, the question now is: Do you know how to attract women with your personality and confidence? Watch this video to find out…
Wow Them With Your Charisma
Meeting new friends is not just a matter of putting yourself in a room full of other people and hoping for the best. You need to be someone that other notice in a good way.
There are plenty of guys who know how to draw attention to themselves by being loud and/or being outrageous, but that’s not the sort of behavior that makes other people want to be your friend.
Likewise, being Mr. Polite or Mr. Don’t Pay Any Attention to Me won’t make people say, “WOW! You’re so polite, nice and unassuming. You’re so nice that I want to be your bestest friend in the whole wide world! Let’s hang out every single day of the year! You can be polite and shy and I’ll just keeping thinking that you’re so amazing because of that. Woo hoo!”
The type of guys that pretty much everyone wants to be friends with right away are the charismatic guys who are attractive to women, but also friendly with others.
Charisma is a trait that some guys naturally acquire as they’re growing up (often because they have great male role models to show them how), but it’s a social skill that any guy can learn to develop and put into practice.
Are You Charismatic?
According to most research done on the topic, charisma is only ever 50% “natural” in those who have it and the other 50% is a learned skill.
Social skills, like any other skill, can be learned, practiced and mastered, so this means that anyone can become more charismatic than they already are at any stage in life and you can become a charismatic guy who makes friends easily.
Then, and only then, does the advice of “join a club” become useful because when you arrive as a charismatic guy at any place where there will many new people for you to meet, pretty much everyone will want to be your friend.
Charismatic guys are great conversationalists because they know how and when to listen as well as how and when to talk.
Guys who are nervous of striking up conversations with others very often slip into being quiet and not saying much at all, talking too much because they’re afraid of an awkward silence, or trying too hard to make conversation by firing loads of questions at the other person without truly listening to much of what is said in reply.
A guy with charisma doesn’t have to try too hard to make conversation, he simply listens to what others have to say and he shows an interest in what’s being said by adding his own take on the topic.
He doesn’t hold back on sharing his opinions and feelings on a topic, but he also does it in a way that is cool, interesting and socially intelligent.
Being charismatic is not about trying to be the centre of attention or drawing attention to yourself, it’s about drawing other people towards you by having something interesting to say and having an interest in what others have to say.
Are You Likeable?
A lot of guys who wonder why they don’t have many friends are simply just not that likeable.
Due to all their nervous quirks, secret fears and anxieties, they come across as awkward, make conversations feel awkward and just don’t have a very charismatic vibe about them.
It doesn’t mean that the guy is a bad guy or that he is doomed for life, but it does mean that he needs to be fix his issues and become a more balanced, charismatic human being if he wants people to naturally want to be friends with him.
It’s not just charisma that makes you someone others are interested in hanging out with and building a friendship with.
The guys that people are eager to be friends with are also confident guys who are relaxed and comfortable just being themselves. They are genuine when they interact with other people, instead of putting on a weird, social persona to hide their fears and insecurities behind.
They are just who they are and that’s it. “Like it or not, this is me!” while also making the people around them feel good about themselves.
It’s not a case of, “Like it or not. This is me! You suck if you’re not like me” it’s like this, “Like it or not, this is me. I will still love you the same and smile and be cool with you, regardless of whether you are like me or not.”
Those type of guys get everyone wanting to be their friend, as long as they do that genuinely. It’s not an act, it’s a genuine approach to people.
Being genuine makes you someone who others feel comfortable being around. Knowing how to meet new friends really comes down to knowing how to be your true, natural, charismatic self, while allowing others to be themselves at the same time.
Just as trying too hard to keep a conversation going or trying too hard to be liked can lead to you being perceived as insincere by others, trying to hard to get people to be like you will make them feel uneasy around you. Just let people be themselves and love them for it.
When they notice that sort of vibe coming from you, they’ll love being around you. However, unless you know who you are and unless you’re genuinely comfortable just being yourself, others won’t be able to fully relax into being themselves around you.
This, in turn, will make them want to steer clear of you. Related to the topic of being yourself and having people love you for that, a common mistake guys make is to try too hard to “fit in” by going along with what everyone else involved in the conversation is saying.
This might mean going along with their tastes in music, their film choices or general likes and dislikes. When people notice that a guy doesn’t seem to have a mind of his own, he’s not showing himself to be a genuine guy and he’s not “likeable” as a result.
Are You An Alpha Male?
Likeable guys are also guys with alpha male characteristics.
The perfect type of alpha male will have rock-solid self-confidence and a manner about him which commands respect, but which also shows respect to others.
Guys like that will know who they are and what they want from life, friendships and any circumstance they find themselves in.
When he comes across weak, confused and insecure guys, they will want to be his friend (for various reasons, one being: Hoping to get introduced to some of the many women who would be in his life), the alpha male won’t be interested unless there is actually some benefit to himself also.
After all, he has to survive as well and he usually won’t need another guy hanging off of him and hoping that he’ll help him get what he wants from life. If the lower-ranking male presents some value to him too, then okay – he will be open to the idea of a friendship.
Yet, if the lower-ranking male just wants to take from him, the alpha will simply reject any attempts to become a closer friend of his.
When you have alpha male qualities, the people you meet will feel relaxed and at ease in your presence. They will feel safe being around you and will be happy and open to spending more time with you, because it will be beneficial to them for various reasons.
When you are charismatic, people feel good when you’re around because your approach to them, the conversation and the interaction will make them feel included, noticed, appreciated and lucky to be around someone like you.
When you are confident, it allows you to be true yourself during conversation, instead of hiding behind a safe “social persona” that you use to hide your fears, anxiety or nervousness.
Confidence, charisma and alpha male qualities are three important things that make you the type of guy that others feel eager to be friends with. When you have those traits, you are able to easily make new friends wherever you go, whether you join a club or not.
Like charisma, alpha male qualities and confidence are not just something you’re either born with or you’re not; they are qualities that you can learn, develop and master for yourself. If you want to know more about how to make new friends, I recommend that you focus on improving your social skills in the areas of confidence, charisma and alpha male qualities.
I also recommend that you improve your ability to attract women, which will happen naturally when you improve your social skills, confidence, charisma and alpha male qualities…
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So true thought similar things in my own mind. Been to Italian classes, soccer teams, theater groups, joined bands, been on meetup.com on and on and on doesn’t make a difference you turn up and you don’t get anything out of it other than a night away from the TV sure you can pick up the odd friend by doing these things but there usually never the type of people you want in your life anyway usually at the same level as you shy, awkward, not much going on in their lives, don’t have many other friends either.
Thanks for your positive feedback.
If that’s what you’re experiencing, you’ve got to work on your confidence and being your true self. Don’t doubt yourself around the “cool crowd” because you ARE the cool crowd. Believe it and live it.
I totally agree with everything you’ve said Jack. A guy can go along to as many classes, meetup groups, societies etc, and still feel like he was before arriving at the chosen activity. In fact it will only cause the person to feel more insecure and self doubting because people seem to just be ignoring him, or treating him like he’s an outsider who’s infiltrated them. Dan you are absolutely correct, a person has to work on their confidence and social skills to get any positive result from the activity they’ve chosen to participate in. I will work on just that before i ever look for something to join in my area.
Thanks for chiming in mate.
The problem is: The internet is flooded will silly advice saying, “Join a club” or “Volunteer” and people think it’s the answer because some website said it. What they don’t realize is that the person writing the article is not an expert on the topic, doesn’t know the answer and is just writing an article and suggesting what they think might work. It makes me laugh (at how silly we humans are at times), but it also makes me angry and want to work harder at getting our tested, proven to work advice out there to guys.
Didn’t know where to post this so I’m just gonna post it here.
I find it silly when some people claim have social anxiety, because nothing has caused it to happen for them. For me I was bullied along the way through high school which means now I avoid socialzing and find it hard to “get out there”.
Personally, it’s kind of ruined my life because I don’t remember how to feel good about myself or have any shred of confidence, I was bullied through high school because I was quiet (not being social much) and therefore I’m guessing an easy target. This has actually caused my social anxiety that I have.
I’m almost 20, and although getting bullied is my past, I feel that its still affecting me now in terms of being assured as a man, being social, even if I am, I feel ‘bottom of the pack’ kinda guy.
A friend of mine who I told this to about suggested I read some self-help books, but I guess I’d really like your take on it as you mentioned you had social problems in the past. What is the first step I can take? Any advice from you I’d be really happy.
Also I know you probably have helped a lot of guys overcome social problems/anxieties, but would it be harder or different for me to overcome because of what caused my SA? (past bullying rather than things like getting rejected by girls, etc.)
Thanks for your question.
Essentially, you are making things worse for yourself by thinking that it was bullying that caused your social anxiety. Bullying was simply a trigger that made YOU begin to think in a socially anxious way. You then took that and wove it into other anxious thoughts and have linked it all up in your mind. If you want to get rid of your social anxiety, the program for you is Alpha Male Power: http://www.themodernman.com/videos/alpha-male-power.html
However, watch this free video first (I think it will really help you): http://www.themodernman.com/success/successful_thinking/3_common_habits_of_successful_men.html
Oh wow, okay, I didn’t know that, thanks for the reply man; that link was really helpful too! And the bullets under alpha male power seem like some amazing stuff to learn, but surely you can’t guarantee them ALL, even in the best case of scenario? :),anyways I’ll be buying it soon after I’ve had a look around all the other stuff and articles on the site. But one other thing I’ve had on my mind for some time – your programs and approach mainly uses mindsets and ways of thinking, but when I’m in a social situation I tend to just FEEL nervous and anxious, I don’t THINK in negative ways, for example around a hot woman, I don’t think anything like ‘Oh, she’d definetley reject me’ or ‘I’d make a fool of myself by going over and talking to her’, none of that, I just feel nervous inside without thinking negative things consciously. Is there something wrong with me?
Sorry for the constant questions Dan I know you have a lot deal with and a lot of whiners around on the site, but I just feel I need to get clarity on my problems and solutions in this area.
You’re welcome mate.
About your question: A human is always thinking. It’s pretty much impossible to turn off the thought process. Just ask the most elite meditators in the world – they claim to be able to turn off their thought processes temporarily. So, unless you’re sitting down on the ground in a bar and meditating for 15 minutes to get to the point of thoughtlessness, then Omar – you ARE thinking.
What is more important than the fact that you ARE thinking, is that you would NOT be thinking the RIGHT type of thoughts for the situation. If you were, you would NOT be nervous. What are the right type of thoughts to have when you want to approach and meet women? Watch Alpha Male Power
About being able to guarantee of the stuff in Alpha Male Power: Of course. I wouldn’t say it otherwise.
Enjoy the program and the great times ahead.
I don’t understand how you ever break out of a situation like this. POPULARITY BREEDS POPULARITY. If your not a cool popular guy and try and make friends people check out your facebook profile it looks bad they lose interest your stuck as you are, can’t meet any new people to get any new photos on your profile and start the positive snowball. Likewise offline even if you meet people and hit it off people are put off by the fact when they discover you don’t have many other people in your life and think whats up with that? I don’t understand how you can ever get your social life off the ground? You can be a cool guy but people are put off because you have no-one else in your life! I’ve done a lot of online meetups with people who have similiar interests to me but 9 times out of 10 their not cool exciting people to spend time with anyway I mean think about it why would they be social cool people wouldn’t be searching for friendships online their phone book is already full.
Thanks for your question.
When you are a cool guy, people will want to hang out with you no matter what. You just have to keep improving your social intelligence until it finally “clicks” for you and you realize where you’d been going wrong all along: http://www.themodernman.com/social/how-to-be-a-cool-guy.html
BTW: If you haven’t listened to Mastery Methods & Mindsets, I suggest you do so: http://store.themodernman.com/products/mastery_methods_and_mindsets.html
After having been on your newsletter for quite some time I finally bought alpha male power and holy crap, you guys at tmm got this nailed.. been using the mindsets you talked about for a couple of days now, especially the assume respect, I felt my ‘super nice guy’ traits completely vanish! Man that alone is an achievement for me, I’ve never felt so leader-like and forward thinking till now. This really is advanced (for me) so I kinda feel I’ve somewhat cheated through the self-confidence/esteem system using these techniques! So anyways I’m gonna stop using these techniques for a while and will buy dating power/mastery methods soon, as I feel it’s more important for me to go through the fundamentals of confidence first, before the advanced stuff.
Thanks for your positive feedback.
I’m glad you enjoyed the Alpha Male Power program and are already experiencing the benefits.
About you looking to get the other programs now: Yes, what you’ll find is that success with women is multi-faceted. To be at the mastery level of success with women, you need to be skilled in all areas. See: http://www.themodernman.com/videos/what-is-your-skill-level-with-women.html
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