Do you feel that women are a complete mystery to you? Do you feel like you’re the only guy who is striking out with women and every other guy seems to know something that you don’t?
Have you ever thought anything like, “What is wrong with me? Why do I keep failing with women?” or “I need help with the ladies” or “Why can’t I get a girlfriend?”
Relax…many modern men feel that way.
The good news is that women are not as mysterious as they might seem to you right now. Being good with the ladies is actually one of the easiest, most exciting things that you will ever learn how to do in life.
If you follow the guidelines that I’m about to give you, you will realize that approaching women, having one night stands, going on dates and being in relationships with beautiful women is actually a lot easier than you currently may think.
First, let’s begin by answering a very important question…
What Do Women Really Want in a Man?
There is a big difference between what women SAY they want in a man and what they actually go for.
For instance, women will often say that they want a nice guy, but they will then reject guys for being nice to them. Women will also say that they only date good looking guys, but will then have sex, date and even marry guys who are not considered “good looking” by most people.
If you want to be good with the ladies, it’s very important to watch what women DO, rather than blindly listening to what they SAY. Watch the video below to understand why being too nice to a woman will lead to rejection, even though she is probably going around SAYING, “I want a sweet, nice guy who listens to me, treats me like a princess and doesn’t expect sex right away.”
Natural Qualities About You That Will Attract Women
Unlike men who are mostly attracted to a women based entirely on how physically attractive she looks, most women will place less importance on a guy’s physical appearance if he has the personality traits and behavioral qualities that she is looking for.
If you want to be successful with the ladies, you need to know what those personality traits and behavioral qualities are and you need to make sure that you display them during your interactions, dates and relationships.
I teach guys how to attract women in more than 100 different ways, but here are 4 ways to help you get started:
Women are attracted to confidence, but are turned off by shyness, insecurity and low self-esteem. If you approach a woman and behave nervous and insecure, it will turn her off on a deep and instinctive level.
Even if you’re a great guy, have a great job (or are studying a course at university that will lead to a great job), most women don’t care about those sorts of details if you are turning them off at a deep and instinctive level. If you are unable to attract her with your personality and behavior, all the potentially attractive details about you become less valuable and appealing.
2. The ability to lead when necessary
Women prefer men who take the lead during the dating process. Guys who wait for women to make the first move will rarely ever get phone numbers, have one night stands or go on dates.
Many guys see women in the movies approaching guys and think that it is normal, but in real life that rarely happens. In real life women want to be approached. Why? They like to know that the guy is man enough to take the lead in the sexual courtship and make her feel like a real woman.
A guy who waits to be approached by a woman is usually the sort of guy who hasn’t yet worked out what it means to be a man and is still thinking like a boy or like a guy who has watched one too many Hollywood movies where the girl approaches the guy first.
3. A great conversationalist
Women like to be engaged by a man who is a good conversationalist, but don’t confuse that with talking to her like a friend. A good conversationalist in a woman’s eyes is a guy who knows how to flirt with her, create a sexual vibe and make her feel turned on in subtle ways.
A good conversationalist is also a guy who can get a woman to be her true self while talking to him and can also be his real self with her. If you hide behind your true self by asking boring questions like, “So, what do you do?” and then having a standard conversation about her answer, it won’t allow either of you to be fully real in the moment.
You’ve got to loosen up and say whatever you think and feel. Yes, you will make some mistakes initially when you learn to be that real, but the biggest benefit is that you get to be yourself and be loved for it. You attract women who are perfectly compatible with you, rather than trying to be “liked” as a nice person by all women.
4. Emotional strength
Emotional strength is something that women crave in a man. As you may have noticed, it’s fine for women to cry and become emotional, but men are expected to be stronger.
Why? We live in a challenging world that is still dangerous at times and it’s much safer and wiser for a woman to be with a man who can be strong during a tough moment or during tough times.
If you interact with a woman and she feels stronger than you emotionally, it’s enough to turn her off on a deep and instinctive level. Even if you’re a great guy, it won’t matter to her because you don’t have one of the most fundamentally important things that she is truly looking for in a man.
Naturally, there are some women who will hook up with and even marry an emotionally weak man. However, such women are usually the type who will never truly love him and will secretly wish to be with a stronger man, or will be the type of woman who controls him during a relationship with the threat of a break up.
As a man, being emotionally strong is not an option; it’s a necessity. You’ve got to be strong. The stronger you become, the better you feel in life, the more you succeed, the more people respect you and the more women love you and want you.
Being emotionally weak is a stressful life full of rejection, heartache, disrespect from others, missing out on promotions at work, feeling depressed and anxious and so on. It’s not wise to be weak.
How to Get The Woman You Want
There’s no use saying “I need help with the ladies” if you are going to keep doing the same old things that haven’t worked for you so far. To be successful with women, you will need make some changes to the way you’ve been doing things so far and to the way you see yourself.
For example, you’re not going to get a phone number, a date or a one night stand if you continue to spend every Friday and Saturday night alone or with your single, male buddies who want to stay at home watching TV or go out “people watching.”
You’ve got to get involved. I know that can feel like a scary thing to do, but when you actually know how to attract women, it becomes one of the easiest, most exciting things that you’ll ever do in your life.
So, how can you get started?
Step #1 – Go to places where single women hang out
If you try to meet women online, you will be competing with 1,000s of other guys who are afraid to talk to women in person. If a woman is attractive, she will get hundreds and sometimes even thousands of messages or requests every month.
The easiest way to get laid or get a girlfriend is to talk to a woman in person.
You have to go to places where single women hang out (e.g. bars, clubs, speed dating events) and simply talk to some of them.
In the beginning, you will most-likely feel a bit nervous and unsure of yourself, but the key is to not get hung up about a specific result. If you go to a club thinking, “I have to get a woman tonight. If I don’t succeed I’ll be a loser,” you are putting unnecessary pressure on yourself and are potentially setting yourself up to fail.
Rather than going out looking to pick up any woman you approach, think of yourself as being just a guy out to have a good time and socialize with some women.
How can you build up the confidence to approach and talk to women? Check out the video below:
Step #2 – Don’t try to pick up any attractive woman you meet
It’s only natural that you might feel as though you want to hook up with a beautiful woman the first time you go out. However, don’t get too attached to the idea of getting a result with every attractive woman you see or talk to.
If you worry and think to yourself, “What if she doesn’t like me? What if she doesn’t want to give me her number? What if she has a boyfriend?” you are putting unnecessary pressure on yourself to get a result or fail miserably.
On the other hand if you remain relaxed and easy-going, by saying to yourself, “I’m here to have a good time by talking to a lot of women without worrying about getting a result,” things will unfold naturally.
Step #3 – Don’t take the conversations so seriously
Women love a guy who can make them laugh, but they also love a guy who can just relax and have a good time with her.
If a woman is attractive, most of the guys she meets are immediately interested in her and will talk to her as though they are hoping to get a chance with HER.
Don’t take the conversation with her so seriously. Instead, talk to her as though she is hoping to hook up with you and she will LOVE it.
For example, if she says “I really like pizza,” smile and say something like 😀 “Oh, right…so you want me to take you out for pizza. I get it…girls always use me for free pizza. If you want pizza, you’re going to have to take me out! I think a girl should pay for me for once…I always get used for free pizza…and I usually only get to eat 1 or 2 slices and the girl gobbles up the rest :(”
If you were smiling while saying it, she will smile too and she will most-likely laugh. She will then say something like, “That’s not what I meant! :D” and you can respond by saying, “Okay, fine…well, look…I’m not the kind of guy who would let a woman’s cravings go unanswered. So, how about Friday night? I like pizza too, so you can show me your favorite pizza place and we’ll see how tasty it is…but, just let me have at least 3 slices.”
You are not being overly serious with the offer for Friday night pizza, but you are putting it out there. After that, she will either say yes or will want to talk to you further and get to know you a little more before giving you her number.
When you feel like the moment is right, get your phone and out say, “Hang on, I’m going to write something about you in my phone” and then hand her your phone and say, “Here, put your number in there where I’ve typed, ‘Crazy Pizza Lady’.”
Smile and don’t take the conversation and interaction so seriously. If you can do that, she will have a great time with you and will want to talk to you again.
Note: That isn’t my standard way for getting a woman’s number. This is just an example based on something I’ve done to help you understand what is possible when you don’t take conversations so seriously with women. In my book The Flow, I explain what to say to basically any woman you meet to get her phone number in under a minute, without even having to use any humor.
In my book The Flow, I explain exactly what to say to absolutely ensure that a woman will give you her phone number. There is a very specific way to say it to ensure that she really wants to give you her phone number. The line that I use is something that took a lot of practise and testing until I finally got it right.
Once you know how to ask for the number in the simple way that I teach in The Flow, you will never ever worry about asking for a number again because you know that you’ll get it.
It’s a Lot Easier Than You Might Think
If you want to be good with the ladies, one of the first things you need to do is realize that it is actually a lot easier to succeed with women than you might think.
If you’ve approached women before and have been rejected you might feel like you couldn’t ever be a guy who is good with the ladies, but that is not true.
With the right training, saying “I need help with the ladies” will quickly become a thing of the past. If you let me help you right now, you can learn exactly what to say and do around a woman to get her to want you sexually and be interested in you romantically.
Complete success with women is at the tip of your finger right now. Will you click or will you stick to your old ways?
Want to Know the SECRET to Success With Women?
Watch this hidden video where Dan exposes his BIGGEST secret to success with women, which allows you to easily get laid or get a girlfriend.
This video is only available here and you can watch it for free right now.
The initial talk is always great, fun and easy but I always have trouble after it, like a dead end, I mean with that pizza conversation, do you keep making pizza jokes with her in the 2nd date and so on? I always hit a slump afterwards, usually around the 3 weeks mark its totally dead with a girl that I had an amazing first interaction with.
Thanks for your question.
Of course you don’t need to keep making pizza jokes! 😀 If you are thinking that way, it means that you still think that women are more valuable than you and you’d be lucky to get with her. Stop trying to impress women and start being real.
If you wanted to keep making pizza jokes, you can if you want to, but not if you are doing it to hopefully impress her and get a chance with her. Don’t think that you need to hopefully get her to like you. That isn’t the way to be thinking about it. Women HATE that.
Watch these two videos and you will understand:
If you want more help with conversation, check out this free video http://www.themodernman.com/blog/5-conversation-mistakes-that-instantly-turn-women-off.html and if you like you what I teach, get my program The Ultimate Guide to Conversation and you will never have a problem coming up with funny, interesting or attractive things to say to women: http://store.themodernman.com/the_ultimate_guide_to_conversation.html
First off, I know I’ve made a few comments before here, but I want to let you know I have made lots of progress in terms of getting good with women! I’ve been able to make my way through the Flow and I have been really using all your techniques and they are really helping.
That being said, even though I’ve come very close a few times, I’m still a virgin at 21. Many of my friends are perplexed by this fact, and a few of my friends, who are pretty good with women, say it’s because my standards are too high, and that I should lower my standards at least for the first time. Their rationale is that everyone’s first time sucks, and that it’ll be good experience to get it out of the way so that when the right girl comes along, I’ll be ready.
This makes sense to me, but at the same time I just feel like it wouldn’t be right, as I feel like I won’t really enjoy it and it’ll feel more like I’m doing her a favor and I’m just doing it for the sake of it. I know you make it clear to never lower your standards, but I’m just curious as to what you think about this. Thanks in advance, Dan!
Great to hear that you’ve been making progress.
About your question: I’ve coached guys like you in person before. Sometimes, a guy’s reasons for wanting to save sex until he meets the right girl is out of fear of not being good enough for her, or just a general fear of having sex. Other times, it’s possibly like yourself where you genuinely want the first time to be great.
Here’s the thing…
As long as you find the woman attractive, it is fine to have sex with her if you are both up for it. Believe me, it will feel GOOD for both of you when you slide inside of her. You won’t be thrusting into her and regretting it; you will both be feeling a lot of pleasure and it will be exciting for both of you.
At the end of the day though, it’s up to you which woman you want to have sex with. You’re not a failure for wanting to wait to find a great woman to lose your virginity to. If you want to wait, then go ahead. However, just remember: It will feel good. The belief that some of your friends have that the first time you have sex always sucks isn’t true. The first time can be exciting and amazing if you build up sexual tension between yourself and the girl and then confidently have sex with her.
How can you confidently have sex with her? Don’t worry about a thing. Don’t think, just do. Be there in the moment and enjoy it, rather than thinking about it. Feel, rather than think. Let her feel you present in the moment with her. She will love it.
BTW: I recommend that you read this: http://www.themodernman.com/blog/5-ways-to-make-a-woman-want-to-have-sex-with-you.html
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