If you want to flirt with a woman at work, you must first ensure that she feels attraction for you. If she only sees you as a friend and has no sexual attraction for you at all, she will not respond well to your flirting and may even complain about it to your boss or coworkers.
If your coworker LIKES you as a person, it is not the same as her feeling sexual ATTRACTION for you as a guy. If she isn’t interested in you in a sexual way, she won’t be interested in flirting with you.
Making Her Feel Sexually Attracted to You
Women are attracted to the strength in men and turned off by the weakness. Here are some examples of the strengths and weakness about a guy’s personality that will either turn a woman on or off.
|Turn on||Turn off|
|Alpha male behavior||Lower-ranking male behavior|
|Socially intelligent / cool guy||Lacking social intelligence / not a cool guy|
|Charismatic||Awkward, boring, lacking personality|
The more confident, charismatic and alpha you are, the more she will naturally feel attracted to you. When attracting women in the workplace, displaying social intelligence (i.e. the ability to understand, get along with and work with others) is essential. Some women will go for the quiet, awkward guy in the office, but those women are usually the unattractive ones or the women who want a weak man whom they can manipulate.
If you want attractive women in the workplace to like you, flirt with you and desperately want to be with you, then you must display the types of behaviors that attract women and make other men respect you. If she doesn’t feel attraction for you and notices that other men don’t respect you, then she won’t be interested in anything other than a friendly working relationship.
Examples of How to Flirt With a Woman at Work
After you have ensured that she feels sexually attracted to you, it is fine to begin flirting with her in a light, easy-going way. I recommend starting with flirting body language first, so you can avoid saying the wrong thing to her too early.
Example 1: Use a Subtle Sexual Smile
To use the Subtle, Sexual Smile to flirt with a woman at work, simply do the following:
- Allow yourself to feel confident in the moment while talking to her.
- Hold eye contact with her and smile in a confident, easy-going way.
- In your mind, assume that she likes you and then use that confidence to smile at her in a confident, subtly sexual way.
- When she holds eye contact and smiles back at you, maintain eye contact for 3-4 seconds while continuing to smile as she talks to you.
She will then either look away in a submissive way (a good sign), look puzzled (usually just a move that is designed to test your confidence) or ask you something like, “What are you smiling about?” to which you can reply (while smiling and saying the following in an easy-going, confident way), “Talking to you makes me smile.”
Whatever she does when you add in the Subtle, Sexual Smile, just make sure that you continue to display relaxed confidence and be easy going about the whole thing. Why? Confidence is sexually attractive to women and if you display nervousness and self-doubt you will not only turn her off, but you will make the interaction feel awkward.
Example 2: Compliment Her So Often That it Becomes Funny
When flirting with a woman at work, you have to flirt “under the radar” so that you don’t get yourself into trouble for being unprofessional. A normal approach to flirting when you meet women in bars or nightclubs is to be more direct and sexually suggestive with your flirting. However, in the workplace, you should just focus on creating a fun and positive vibe with the woman while ALSO making absolutely sure that she is feeling sexual attraction for your confidence, masculinity, social intelligence and charisma.
Some examples of complimenting her so often that it becomes funny is to compliment her about random things during the day:
- Her coffee cup: “Wow, you have great taste when it comes to coffee cups. The off white color is just dazzling.”
- Her desk: “I just wanted to tell you that you’re an inspiration to me. You keep your desk so tidy and organized, while my desk looks like a tornado just passed by it.”
Important: To ensure that you don’t get in trouble for being annoying offensive, you must make sure that you smile when giving the compliments. You must also (and this is more important) maintain a positive, easy-going personality style at work.
If you’re always super serious or if you’re usually sarcastic or negative about things and you then begin to compliment her about random things, she may take it the wrong way. In a work environment, you should always try to maintain a positive, easy-going, light-hearted approach, while also being professional and effective.
If you are too serious and uptight about things, most of your coworkers will not want to interact with you in a playful, funny way.
Do Not Flirt With Her Via E-mail
Many guys make the mistake of trying to flirt with female coworkers via e-mail. This is the worst approach to take for two main reasons:
1. More chance of being misinterpreted: When a woman can’t see your body language and facial expressions or can’t hear the tone of your voice, she has to imagine how you were behaving/feeling when you wrote what you did in the e-mail. If you say sexually suggestive things or attempt to tease or flirt with her via e-mail, it can easily come across as sleazy, insulting and unprofessional.
She may be the type of woman to get offended easily or may be the type to want to cause problems in the workplace, so flirting via e-mail will usually get you in trouble with a woman like that. To flirt with a woman at work, you must ensure that you interact with her in person. If you are too afraid to talk to her in person and try to hide behind messages, she may misinterpret one or more of the messages the wrong way and then report you to a manager, to HR (Human Resources) and begin spreading negative gossip about you around the workplace.
2. Less chance to spark her feelings of attraction: Women feel most attraction for a man when they interact with him. Why? It is during an interaction that a woman can fully experience your confidence, alpha male thinking, behavior and actions and social intelligence.
Simply sending a message to her with a cute smiley face and some LOLs, will usually result in her experiencing mild feelings of interest and possibly some attraction at times. However, if she then interacts with you in person and notices that you are nervous and self-doubting around her, she will close up and lose interest in you.
5 Mistakes to Avoid When Flirting With a Woman at Work
1. Coming on too strong
When flirting with a woman in the workplace, you have to take it easy and give it some time to develop. If you meet a woman in a bar, you can flirt with her and begin kissing within minutes, but in a workplace, you have to be more relaxed and patient about it.
If she shows you some interest, don’t get all excited and then ask her out on a date. Instead, just let the sexual tension build up between you and her until it is absolutely obvious that she wants something to happen. From there, do not ask her out on a “date.” Why? Most women in a workplace environment are worried about dating a guy, getting dumped or used for sex and then feeling embarrassed or humiliated around her colleagues.
To avoid a woman putting her guard up and not wanting to escalate any further than some innocent flirting back and forth in the workplace, you must suggest to “catch up” sometime outside of work, rather than talking about going on a date or asking if she is interested in beginning a relationship with you. Ideally, you would simply invite her to catch up with you and some friends who are having some drinks on a Friday night after work, or invite her to a house party or to a friend’s party at a bar or friend’s BBQ at a park on the weekend.
2. Misreading her feelings
To flirt with a woman at work you must ensure that she will be happy with the added attention from you. This is only going to happen if she feels sexually attracted to you, or if she is an “attention whore” who loves getting attention from any guy, regardless of whether she likes him or wants anything to do with him outside of the workplace. Just because a woman is being friendly doesn’t necessarily mean she likes you.
3. Using the workplace as a testing ground or dating scene
For all intents and purposes, the workplace is for working. If you want to know how to flirt with a woman at work because you’re planning on the workplace as a testing ground instead of approaching and talking to women in bars and clubs, it is a very bad idea. Generally speaking, the workplace is not the safest environment to try out your flirting techniques because you have to be skilled at interacting and flirting with women to avoid making rookie mistakes that will get you in trouble with your boss.
Warning: I do not recommend that you use your workplace as a testing ground for flirting with women, unless you have at least an advanced level of skill with women. If you are at a beginner or amateur when it comes to interacting with women, you will definitely make rookie mistakes and end up causing yourself problems in the workplace. Read: What is Your Skill Level With Women?
The workplace should not be used as your testing ground for interacting with women, but if you really like a woman at work and want to give it a try, make sure that you follow my advice properly. After helping 1,000s of guys to successfully pick up women, I know that most guys make the mistake of trying to pick up a woman without first ensuring that she is properly attracted to them. If you make that rookie mistake in the workplace, expect to be rejected or warned by your boss.
4. Being sleazy
Flirting with women is not about being sleazy and making it really obvious that you and her are discussing sexual things. To flirt with a woman at work, you have to be classy and discreet because most women are afraid of being the target of negative gossip. Most women in the workplace want to be able to maintain their image of professionalism, but are open to some discreet flirting as long as they respect you as a man and feel attraction for you.
5. Telling everyone how you feel about her
Some guys who are unsure how to flirt with a particular woman at work, will go around asking colleagues for advice. However, going around the workplace saying, “I really like her, what should I do to let her know how I feel?” is only going to catapult you and her to the top of the workplace gossip hit list. Office politics aside, embarrassing her in front of her colleagues and superiors is one of the quickest way to kill any growing feelings she may have for you.
The best way to flirt with a woman at work is to ensure that other people simply perceive your interactions with her as being friendly, funny and innocent. If they get the sense that you’ve got a massive crush on her and are desperately trying to get her to like you, they may approach her and ask what is going on.
If you have failed to make her attracted to you first (the most common mistake guys make), she will usually deny having any feelings for you and may even laugh with people behind your back so she can “save face” and not appear as though she is interested in a guy like you.
Are You Ready to Do it?
It’s normal to feel a little anxious about flirting with a woman you work with; especially if you’re shy or nervous around women in general. However, if you’re sincerely interested in flirting in the workplace, my advice to you is to get proper training on how to flirt with women in any environment so you always get the results you want.
With the proper training from us here at the Modern Man, you will learn the best ways to flirt with a woman so that she opens up to you, flirts with you and then tells you that she has feelings for you.