If you want to flirt with a woman at work, you must ensure that she feels attracted to you first.
For example: Begin by attracting her with your confidence, charisma and by using humor in some of your interactions.
When she at least feels attracted to you in those ways, she will then be open to engaging in some subtle flirting with you.
Why? Women are comfortable flirting with guys that they are attracted to and uncomfortable flirting with guys whom they only see as a friend.
If the woman you like at work only sees you as a friend and has no sexual attraction for you at all, she’s probably not going to respond well to flirting and may even complain to the boss or coworkers.
If this female coworker only likes you as a person, that is not the same as her feeling sexual attraction for you. If she isn’t interested in you in a sexual way, she won’t be interested in flirting with you.
You really have to be clear on that before you begin to flirt with her, otherwise it will cause unnecessary problems for you.
Making Her Feel Sexually Attracted to You Before You Flirt With Her
There are many different ways that you can make a woman feel attracted to you (e.g. by displaying confidence, being charismatic, being respected by other people in front of her, using humor, etc).
Watch this video to understand how a woman’s attraction for a man works and how to make sure that this woman feels attracted to you before you begin flirting with her…
Reminder: If you try to flirt with her when she has no sexual interest in you, she will either reject you or ask you to be more professional with her. If you keep flirting with her, even she doesn’t feel attracted to you, she may ask coworkers to tell you to stop or she might talk to your manager or boss.
So, make sure that she is attracted to you first. It’s so damn important that I have to say it a few times, before I continue on with the rest of the article now.
Examples of How to Flirt With a Woman at Work
After you have made sure that she feels sexually attracted to you, you can now begin to flirt with her in a light, easy-going way.
I recommend starting with flirting body language first, so you can further test the waters with her and see how she reacts.
Example 1: Use a Subtle Sexual Smile
To use the Subtle, Sexual Smile to flirt with a woman at work, simply do the following:
- Allow yourself to feel confident in the moment while talking to her.
- Hold eye contact with her and smile in a confident, easy-going way.
- In your mind, assume that she likes you and then use that confidence to smile at her in a confident, subtly sexual way.
- When she holds eye contact and smiles back at you, maintain eye contact for 3-4 seconds while continuing to smile as she talks to you.
When you use the Subtle Sexual Smile, she will then either look away in a submissive way (a good sign), look puzzled (usually just to test your confidence) or might ask you something like, “What are you smiling about?” to which you can reply (while smiling and saying the following in an easy-going, confident way), “Talking to you makes me smile.”
If she likes you and wants to flirt with you, she will become shy, smile, laugh and show you that she enjoyed the compliment. If she wants to keep things professional and doesn’t want a workplace romance, she might get weird about it ask, “What do you mean?”
Simply smile and reply in an easy-going way, “Talking to you makes me smile because you’re not only a beautiful woman, but you’re also very intelligent and you do a great job here. It’s a pleasure to be working with you.”
She will then be impressed at the fact that you’ve not only remained confident (this will be attractive to her), but you also have the social intelligence to be professional in a situation like that.
If she is the type of woman who will need you to be discreet about your workplace romance, she will be impressed that you don’t get flustered and panic when under pressure.
Whatever you do, just make sure that you continue to display relaxed confidence and be easy going about the whole thing. Confidence is sexually attractive to women and if you display nervousness and self-doubt you will not only turn her off, but you will make the interaction feel awkward.
Example 2: Compliment Her So Often That it Becomes Funny
When flirting with a woman at work, you have to flirt “under the radar” so that you don’t get yourself into trouble for being unprofessional.
A normal approach to flirting when you meet women in a bar or nightclub is to be more direct and sexually suggestive with your flirting (e.g. smile and say, “You’re sexy…I like you” when you and her have just had a laugh together).
However, in the workplace, you usually have to much more discreet and subtle.
Rather than being direct about your sexual interest in her, you should instead focus on creating a fun and positive vibe between you and her, while also making sure that you are making her feel sexually attracted to you.
Here are a couple of examples of complimenting her so often that it becomes funny and flirtatious:
- Her coffee cup: “Wow, you have great taste when it comes to coffee cups. The off white color is just dazzling.”
- Her desk: “I just wanted to tell you that you’re an inspiration to me. You keep your desk so tidy and organized, while my desk looks like a tornado just passed by it.”
Important: To ensure that you don’t get in trouble for being annoying offensive, you must make sure that you smile when giving the compliments. You must also (and this is more important) maintain a positive, easy-going personality style at work.
If you’re always super serious around her and other people, or if you’re usually sarcastic or negative about things and you then begin to compliment her like that, she may take it the wrong way and think that you’re making fun of her in a mean way.
To avoid any drama in a work environment, you should always try to maintain a positive, easy-going, light-hearted approach, while also being professional and effective.
If you are too serious and uptight about things, most of your coworkers will not want to interact with you in a playful way.
Do Not Flirt With Her Via E-mail
Many guys make the mistake of trying to flirt with female coworkers via e-mail because they are afraid to say things to her in person.
This is the worst approach that a guy could ever take with a female coworker for two main reasons:
1. It’s very easy to completely misinterpret what you’re trying to say
When a woman can’t see your body language and facial expressions or can’t hear the tone of your voice, she has to GUESS how you were behaving/feeling when you wrote what you did in the e-mail. If you say sexually suggestive things or attempt to tease or flirt with her via e-mail, it can easily come across as sleazy, insulting and unprofessional.
She might be the type of woman who gets offended easily or may be the type who wants to cause problems in the workplace, so flirting via e-mail will usually get you in trouble with a woman like her.
To flirt with a woman at work, you must ensure that you interact with her in person.
If you are too afraid to talk to her in person and try to hide behind e-mail messages, she may misinterpret what you’re saying and then report you to a manager, to HR (Human Resources) or begin spreading negative gossip about you around the workplace.
2. An e-mail is much less likely to spark her feelings of attraction
Women feel most attraction for a man when they interact with him in person. Why? It is during an interaction that a woman can fully experience your confidence, behavior and personality.
Simply sending a message to her with a cute smiley face and some LOLs, will usually result in her experiencing mild feelings of interest and possibly some attraction at times.
However, if she then interacts with you in person and notices that you are nervous and self-doubting around her, she will close up and lose interest in you. She will realize that you’re confident and flirty via e-mail, but you are nervous and self-doubting in person.
5 Mistakes to Avoid When Flirting With a Woman at Work
It’s easy to flirt with women at work if you’re always a confident, easy-going guy who isn’t afraid to have a laugh.
If you’re that sort of guy, no-one is going to complain when you do what you normally do and have a laugh with a woman at work.
As long as you do a great job and approach your role professionally, the vast majority of people (including management) will appreciate that you are able to bring smiles and laughter into the workplace at times.
Yet, when a guy doesn’t come across in that way, he might make one of the following classic mistakes…
1. Coming on too strong
When flirting with a woman in the workplace, you have to take it easy and give the attraction some time to develop.
If you meet a woman in a bar, you can flirt with her and begin kissing within minutes, but in a workplace, you have to be more relaxed and patient about it.
If she shows you some interest, don’t get all excited and then ask her out on a date that day or the next.
Instead, just let the sexual tension build up between you and her until it is absolutely obvious that she wants something to happen between you and her (i.e. she is always going out of her way to see you, she flirts with you, asks what you’re going to be up to for the weekend, etc).
From there, do not ask her out on a “date.”
Most women in a workplace environment are worried about dating a coworker for a while, getting dumped and then feeling embarrassed or humiliated around her colleagues.
To avoid a woman putting her guard up and not wanting to escalate any further than some innocent flirting back and forth in the workplace, you must suggest to “catch up” sometime outside of work, rather than talking about going on a date or asking if she is interested in having a relationship with you.
Ideally, you would simply invite her to catch up with you and some friends who are having some drinks on a Friday night after work, or invite her to a house party or to a friend’s party at a bar or friend’s BBQ at a park on the weekend.
2. Expecting her to like you because you’re being nice to her
Just because a woman is being friendly with a guy, it doesn’t necessarily mean that she likes him and wants to have sex with him.
Likewise, being nice to a woman and being her friend isn’t what makes a woman feel turned on and attracted.
Watch this video to understand why…
As you will discover from the video above, there’s nothing wrong with being nice (you need to in a work environment), but unless you are coming across in a way that triggers her feelings of sexual attraction for you, she’s not going to be interested in anything more than a professional relationship as colleagues.
3. Using the workplace as a testing ground for picking up women
If you want to know how to flirt with a woman at work because you’re planning on using the workplace as a testing ground instead of approaching and talking to women outside of work, it is a very bad idea.
Unless you are skilled at attracting women with your personality (e.g. you’re confident, charismatic, charming, funny) and people like you and respect you, it is very easy to get yourself into trouble for attempting to pick up women at work.
If you’re skilled at picking up women outside of work, then go ahead and flirt away. However, if don’t really know how to make women feel attracted to you outside of work, then you will get much better results if you improve your ability to attract women first.
Watch this video to further understand how a woman’s attraction for a man really works…
As you will discover from the video above, you can make the female coworker that you have a crush on, suddenly begin to look at your physical appearance in a positive light.
When you trigger her feelings of attraction in many different ways, she will be unable to stop herself from feeling sexually attracted to you. When you know that she is attracted to you, she will then be excited when you begin to subtly flirt with her.
Then, if you suggest catching up for a drink after work or invite her to a party that you’re attending on the weekend, she will be happy to come along and will be hoping that you and her hook up.
4. Being sleazy
To flirt with a woman at work, you have to be classy and discreet because most women are afraid of becoming the target of negative gossip.
Most women in the workplace want to be able to maintain their image of professionalism, but are open to some discreet flirting as long as you make them feel attracted to you first.
Here’s the thing though…
Even if a woman is sexually attracted to you, she usually won’t be open to showing obvious signs of sexual interest when others are watching, because she will be worried about how it might affection her chances of being promoted or her position in the company.
So, keep it discreet (e.g. use the Subtle Sexual Smile) and build up the sexual tension between you by continuing to make her feel attracted.
Then, if you attend after work drinks together or invite her out for a drink 1-on-1 on a Friday night after work, she will be keen to finally release the sexual tension with kissing and sex.
5. Telling everyone how you feel about her
If you want to be seen as a cool, confident guy who is liked, respected and wanted by women, don’t go around telling everyone how you feel about the woman you like.
Just believe in yourself that you can attract her on your own, without the assistance of coworkers.
If a guy doesn’t make the woman feel attracted first and then goes around telling people, “I really like her. What should I do to let her know how I feel? Should I ask her out,” it might be fun for some people to talk about, but it’s not going to make the woman think, “WOW! He’s afraid to ask me out! WOW! A nervous, insecure guy! WOW!!”
Instead, she will usually deny having any feelings for him and may even laugh with people behind his back, so she can “save face” and not appear as though she is interested in a guy like him.
Are You Ready to Do it?
Will you be ready to flirt with her the next time you interact with her?