Let’s face it, there’s a lot of really good porn online.

Take one look at a porn site and it’s only natural that you will get a boner and may then consider jerking off to calm it down.

Yet, should you be jerking off to porn on a regular basis? Could it be doing you more harm than good?

To answer those questions and more, I’m going to cover the following topics in this article:

  • Masturbation statistics for men and women.
  • Why do humans feel the urge to masturbate?
  • What do doctors and scientists say about male masturbation?
  • Can masturbating to porn ruin a man’s attraction for his girlfriend or wife?
  • Times when it is okay to masturbate when in a relationship.
  • Can excessive masturbation reduce a man’s drive to succeed in life?
  • What to do if masturbation is preventing you from getting a girlfriend.

Masturbation Statistics For Men and Women

Female masturbation

The following statistics are from various survey and studies from across the world. Percentages do vary based on age and marital status, but these statistics will be sufficient to give you a big picture perspective on masturbation.

When looking at the percentages, take into account that most people aren’t fully honest when asked about masturbation, so you might want to add 10-20% to some of the statistics, especially when it comes to women who tend to be a lot more reserved about admitting to masturbation.

Female masturbation statistics

Sources: Wikipedia, National Survey of Sexual Behavior, The Gossard Big M Survey.

As you can see from the statistics above, it’s not only men who masturbate. Women also masturbate to release a build up sexual desire that has not been released with actual intercourse.

When a woman masturbates, she usually closes her eyes and imagines having sex with a guy or remembers a previous sexual experience. Many women in relationships say that when they masturbate, they think of their boyfriend or husband and imagine having sex with him.

Since women are mostly turned on by a man’s confidence and masculinity, women will usually think about a man being very confident and masculine with her in the bedroom. For men, who are mostly turned on by a woman’s physical appearance, looking at porn is the fastest and easiest way to get aroused.

Most women will never admit to masturbating if you ask them face to face, but the statistics from various studies and surveys show that women masturbate to release their built up sexual desire and even for a bit of fun. Some women have said that they masturbate before going to bed at night to help them sleep, or in the morning to get themselves up and out of bed in a good mood.

Male masturbation statistics

Sources: Wikipedia, Journal of Psychology and Human Sexuality, Wikipicks.


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Why Do Humans Feel the Urge to Masturbate?

An illustration of a man's sperm about to fertilize a woman's egg

Essentially, we humans are hard-wired with an urge to find a mate so we can have offspring and keep the human species going. According to Wikipedia, the total amount of humans that have ever lived is approximately 107 billion.

A lot of sex and baby making has occurred to get us to where we are today. If sex and sexual desire was a bad thing or “wrong,” humans and animals would have died out and vanished into history. Yet, here we are, billions of humans later and we are now communicating via the Internet.

You are reading my article on a computer, phone or tablet and the human race is charging on towards its ultimate destiny. Billions of humans have masturbated, had sex, made babies and made breakthroughs that have led this this very moment.

The fact is, human bodies are designed (or created) in a way that causes us to feel a pent up desire to have sex. When we don’t get that sex, we (both men and women) release the built up desire via masturbation.

From sexual desire to procreation

Sexual desire is not something that a human can turn off. As you might have seen in the news over the years, even religious figures who say that sex is wrong secretly masturbate or have twisted sexual desires and fantasies that sometimes end up hurting innocent people.

Sexual desire is natural and its purpose is to get us to make copies of ourselves via sexual intercourse.

So, if you’re one of the many modern men who feel guilty for having sexual desire, you should stop punishing yourself for it. You are a human being and are hard-wired to feel that way. It’s completely normal, natural and healthy and it is ensures the replication and survival of our species.

What Do Doctors and Scientists Say About Male Masturbation?

In the 18th and 19th century, conservative people who lied about their sexual desire tried very hard to turn masturbation into a bad thing. Doctors, religious figures and other authority figures claimed that masturbation would lead to mental health issues, blindness and even hairy palms.

Here’s what a doctor said about masturbation in the 1950s, “Masturbation is the most prevalent of all sexual disorders. It is very commonly found in the mentally unstable, the insane and sexual perverts. Masturbation in an otherwise normal individual can produce idiocy.” What an idiot! The bullshit that authority figures used to say in public years ago is hilarious.

Thanks to the efforts of today’s scientists and doctors, modern men are now beginning to learn that masturbation may be healthy, if done in moderation.

In 2003, a team of Australian scientists at the Cancer Council of Victoria, found that men who ejaculate regularly during the ages of 20 to 50 are less likely to develop prostate cancer.

Why? Masturbation allows the prostate and the seminal vesicles to discharge secretions and prevent the build up of carcinogens (the things that cause cancer) that may be concentrated in the prostate.

However, don’t get carried away with it! Excessive masturbation (more than 5 times a week) will cause some men to experience impotence, premature ejaculation and a lack of desire for sex with real women.

In my opinion, masturbating more than once a week when you are single (not in a relationship) means that you don’t have the right balance in life.

To achieve what you really want with women, you should be using your sexual desire to approach and pick up real women and to achieve your life purpose and goals, rather than blowing your pent up sexual desire out into a tissue or sock several times a week.

Sources: Cancer Council Victoria, EmbarrassingProblems.com

Can Masturbating to Porn Ruin a Man’s Attraction For His Girlfriend or Wife?

Masturbating when in a relationship

Definitely.

Think about it.

What do you do when you’re looking for porn videos to jerk off to? You look around for the best videos that turn you on the most and ignore the ones that don’t give you a “Wow” reaction. You want to feel as turned on as possible, rather than having a boring, unfulfilling jerk off to mediocre porn.

If you get into the habit of doing that while in a relationship with a woman, it may change your mindset about what it takes you to get fully aroused for sex. Years into a relationship, your girlfriend or wife may not give you the same “Wow!” response that you had when you first began having sex with her.

So, what’s a modern man to do? Avoid porn altogether?

It depends.

If you have a sexy wife or girlfriend, it will be easy for you to want to be with her sexually. Additionally, if you have a great relationship that is based on true love and have also been deepening the respect, love and attraction that you feel for each other, then you will naturally enjoy coming together in sexual union.

It will feel good and fulfilling to have sex with each other. On the other hand, if you’ve accepted a woman that you’re not very attracted to or have developed the type of relationship dynamic that doesn’t naturally and automatically create built up sexual tension between you and your woman, then you won’t feel much (or any) desire to have sex with her.

It was a lot easier for guys in the past. Before the arrival of the Internet and the subsequent explosion of online porn, men were jerking off to “blue movies” (sex videos) and magazines that they would buy from retail stores.

Before that, all a guy really had were a few photos of scantily clad women showing a “bit of leg” or some cleavage. Prior to that, men would have probably had to close their eyes and imagine sexy women.

A man in the year 1900 for example, would have had the same desire and urge to masturbate as you do, but since you have such easy, instant access to amazing, boner-activating porn, you are in a more difficult position.

You have to consciously remind yourself to avoid porn, or else you run the risk of sapping the sexual energy from your relationship with your woman. It takes a conscious effort and if you really do want your relationship to succeed, you will do your best to ignore porn and give your sexual energy to your woman instead.

Times When it is Okay to Masturbate When in a Relationship

Generally speaking, you should avoid masturbating when in a relationship and instead use your sexual energy on your woman.

Personally speaking, if my girl and I don’t have sex for more than 3 days, there is a definite change in her behavior. She becomes more irritable and moody, but the morning after we’ve had sex, she is always so cheery, nice and loving.

I’m actually lucky to have a woman like that because it allows me to give my sexual energy to her a few times a week, rather than blowing it out into a tissue over internet porn. As a result, our relationship feels good and we really feel like a couple.

I’ll go on record and admit that I’ve watched porn a few times so far in our relationship when she has been on her period. There have been times when he didn’t have sex for 2-3 days before her period started and she then had a 6-7 day period, which left me with “aching balls” near the end of all that.

Clearing out the build up of sperm and sexual desire by masturbating didn’t ruin my attraction or desire for her though because I really am attracted to her and really do love her.

In addition to masturbating when your woman is on her period, there are also times when it is totally fine to masturbate when in a relationship, such as:

1. When she has a lower sex drive than you: Don’t confuse that with you not getting her in the mood, or not maintaining the right dynamic in your relationship that naturally creates sexual tension between you and your woman. T

here are some women who have a low sex drive, while other women tend to fluctuate based on their levels of happiness, stress and relationship satisfaction.

If your woman has a very low sex drive and only wants sex once a week or once a month, then, according to scientific research into prostate cancer, it will actually be healthy for you to clean out the built up sperm in your testicles.

So, don’t feel guilty about it.

However, if she has a normal sex drive and you rarely have sex with her, then you need to working on changing the dynamic of your relationship so that you are naturally creating a build up of sexual tension between you, that you both want to release very often.

2. When she is out of town: If she travels a lot for work or goes out of town without you, then it’s fine to masturbate and clean out the built up sperm in your testicles.

3. When she has the flu or isn’t feeling well: If she’s down and out with the flu or some other illness and can’t have sex for weeks at a time, there’s nothing wrong with masturbating to clean out the built up sperm in your testicles.

Can Excessive Masturbation Reduce a Man’s Drive to Succeed in Life?

A modern man hiding from life

Definitely.

Studies have shown that when a guy masturbates too often, his dopamine levels drop. Dopamine is the chemical in our brain that makes us crave and want things in life. With low levels of dopamine from excessive masturbation, a man won’t feel a strong urge to succeed or do much with his life.

As dopamine receptors get less and less sensitive, things that would usually make a guy feel happy and fulfilled, such as spending time hanging out with a friend, making plans for the future, achieving things in life, dating and having sex with a real woman, etc., begin to lose their appeal.

You probably know that already though, right?

You may have had days (or weekends) where you’ve done a fair bit of jerking off, only to realize that you suddenly felt very uninspired by the real world around you.

Feeling down, worn out and disconnected from the world around you, you may have then sat down on the couch and watched too much TV, intoxicated yourself with drink or drugs, played computer games or generally just hid yourself away from the real world.

I’m definitely not saying that we men can’t watch TV, drink, play computer games or have some alone time every now and then, but when a guy does that often as a result of excessive masturbation, it can lead to a lack of success in life.

If you want to be successful in life, one of the key ingredients is to keep pushing towards your dreams with unrelenting determination and belief in yourself.

Masturbating away your desire to get a girlfriend and be happy in a relationship

Life isn’t always easy, so the men who remain the strongest for longest are usually the ones who succeed at whatever it is they are aiming to achieve.

You have to be stronger and more determined than others and if you can just go that extra mile, you will come out on top and be one of the successful people in this world.

Total success and happiness may remain out of your reach (or take way longer to achieve) if you are constantly jerking off to porn to calm your daily boner because you just won’t have much desire to work hard and get there.

Instead of regularly getting rid of your pent up sexual desire, I recommend that you try using it to succeed with what you want to in life. Use the built up dopamine to get yourself to take action in the direction of your goals, rather than dulling your desire with yet another useless session of masturbation.

Besides, having sex with real beautiful women is 100 times more exciting, fulfilling and amazing that jerking off to a video or photo gallery. Following the sex, the love and companionship is even more fulfilling.

What to Do if Masturbation is Preventing You From Getting a Girlfriend

If you have been using masturbation to dull your desire so you don’t have to approach and meet real women, try the following practical solutions:

1. Switch to Masturbation Monday: Instead of masturbating whenever you feel that your sexual desire is recharged and needs a release, try to save that for Monday. I’m calling it Masturbation Monday and it will hopefully give guys something easy to remember to get their habit under control.

Instead of blowing your built up sexual desire out into a tissue on any day you feel it, use your sexual energy to talk to real women and begin having sex with them. That way you can get yourself a girlfriend, rather than dulling your desire so you can hide away for yet another wasted week of your life.

How many weeks, months or years have you been doing it so far? You can’t get those years of your life back – they are gone.

2. Join meet up groups: The more people you know, the easier it is to meet women and be introduced to women. The easiest way to meet new people (and meet some women in the process) is to join meet up groups in your area.

The women at meet up groups are not always the hottest, but at least it’s an opportunity for you to be around real women and get yourself a girlfriend. From there, a guy is usually able to build new friendships, which then leads to parties and introductions to other women.

3. Build your way to a Fortnightly Fap: Once you are comfortable with Masturbation Monday, switch to a Fortnightly Fap.

If you have been talking to real women and getting dates, you should already be having real sex. However, if you’re just jerking off and still avoiding women, then you’re just jerking off. Don’t waste your life like that. Work your way towards sliding your dick into a real pussy – it’s a much more enjoyable, fulfilling and rewarding experience.

4. Get used to a Monthly Masturbation: When you are used to the Fortnightly Fap and have been hooking up with real women, try getting used to a Monthly Masturbation session.

You will have so much built up sexual desire throughout the month that attending a speed dating event, joining a meet up group or approaching real women will be something that you really WANT to do.

However, if you fap like there’s no tomorrow, you’re not going to very motivated to hook up with real women. Many more months and potentially years or decades of your life are going to waste away, with you feeling lonely and left out from having real experiences with real women.

5. Improve your skills with women: Learn how to approach and pick up women.

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Discover The Secret to Success with Women
 

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