Being a male virgin sucks, especially when your friends or family know about it and tease you because of it.
If you want to lose your virginity, the first thing you need to get handled is your ability to trigger feelings of sexual attraction inside of a woman.
You’ve got to be able to display traits that actually turn women on, such as confidence (especially when she tests you), charm, charisma and humor.
It’s actually very easy to attract women in that way and once you do it once or twice, you will see that most women feel SOMETHING for you. All you need to do then is go from attraction, to a connection and then kissing and sex, which is also easily to do once you do it once or twice.
Should You Tell Women That You’re a Virgin?
For the guys who are wondering, “Should I tell a girl that I’m a virgin?” the answer is, “No, don’t worry about it. Just get to the point of having sex with her.”
When you slide your penis inside of her, both you and her are going to feel really good. Your dick isn’t going to feel better to her because it has been in other women. It’s going to feel just the same.
What’s going to be important is that your behavior, vibe, attitude and actions are turning her on. As long as you are making her feel attracted to you, she isn’t going to care about your virginity, so just get on with having sex with her and then enjoying the love and relationship that will likely follow it.
The 40 Year Old Virgin
Hollywood immortalized the idea of modern male virgin in the movie, “The 40 Year Old Virgin.” It was a humorous take on a very serious problem that many guys are suffering today.
Yet, why are so many guys suffering from this problem? Watch the video below to find out…
As you will discover from the video above, the rise in adult male virginity is not women’s fault or the fault of the media. It comes down to one very simple thing that I explain in the video.
Being Left Behind
Have you begun to feel like you’re being left behind by friends, coworkers or fellow university students who are having sex and enjoying love and relationships?
Does it confuse you why some of your friends or coworkers are easily able to attract women, but women always seem out of your reach?
The guys who going around saying “I’m still a virgin” at an age where everyone else around them is not, will usually develop a truckload insecurities, issues and anxieties issues over it.
Over the years, I’ve heard from more than 350 guys who are still a virgin at 30+ years of age and almost every time, they are riddled with insecurities and issues surrounding their virginity.
For example: A guy will assume that he would suck at having sex and the woman would be disappointed, or the sex won’t feel as good for him as it would have if he was younger, or the woman will think he’s a loser for being a virgin, etc.
The list of insecurities just goes on and on and it often turns into something so powerful for a guy that he avoids women altogether. He still masturbates to porn of course, but real women are just too much to deal with for him because of how his insecurities make him feel.
It’s a big deal for a lot of guys these days because premarital sex happens all the time now.
Back in 1800, being a virgin when getting married was standard, normal and even looked on as a good thing, but nowadays pretty much everyone has sex before marriage…and plenty of it.
Today, in the United States for example, the average age for a guy to lose his virginity is 17. This is, of course the “average age” and includes those who lost their virginity earlier than that and those who lose their virginity later than the average, including the proverbial 40 year old virgin.
What is the Right Age For a Guy to Lose His Virginity?
In my opinion, I think that a guy should aim to lose his virginity at or after the legal age for his country and the culture contained within it.
It has been found, for example, that those who lose their virginity earlier than the legal age and the national average age are more likely to participate in delinquent behavior (i.e. commit crimes) later on in their lives.
However, the opposite is also a problem.
The longer a guy waits to have sex for the first time, the more difficult it becomes to lose his virginity because he gradually begins to develop insecurities around the fact that he is still a virgin and thus behaves “weirdly” around women and people when the subject of sex comes up.
He feels self-conscious about his desires for women and if he watches enough movies and TV shows where women are often portrayed as being mean and rejecting guys for showing interest, he will eventually believe that women are anti-sex and would be doing him a favor by having sex with him.
If he believes that, then he’s start to behave in the opposite way that woman actually want him to behave. In other words, he’ll start behaving in shy and nervous ways when women actually want him to be confident.
In fact, women need a guy to be confident so they can feel sexual attraction for him. They can’t feel sexual attraction to nervousness and anxiety, unless they are the type of women who like weak men and want to abuse him emotionally.
Guys who are saying “I’m still a virgin” while everyone else around him is hooking up and having sex, will often stop going out and trying to get women because it all just seem too difficult.
Instead, the guy will often bury himself in his studies, his work, computer games (or sport) and porn and resolve himself to being a virgin for life.
Porn will feel like a good release of all the built up sexual energy, but it will never give him the complex experience and set of emotions that come with having sex and being in love with a real woman in person.
There’s nothing wrong with masturbation, but if you overdo it, you will often end up wasting your sexual energy on that rather than using it as motivation to approach and have sex with real women.
As you will see from the results of the survey above, a lot of guys are jacking off every day.
Here’s the thing…
If you want to get laid, get a girlfriend and get on with enjoying your life with women or one woman, you’ve got to try to use your sexual energy as motivation and drive to approach, pick up and have sex with real women.
If you empty your sex drive into a tissue every day or a few times a week, you’re not leaving much sexual energy to use to actually get real results with women.
Sometimes, a male virgin will get to a point where he accepts his sad identity as the guy who looks on from the outside while everyone else has sex and falls in love. All the while, he keeps saying to himself, “I’m still a virgin. Why? What’s wrong with me? Why is this happening to me?”
Then, every day or a few times a week, he loads up some porn videos, jacks off and depletes his sexual energy.
Don’t hide from women behind porn.
There’s nothing wrong with jerking off every now and then, but if you’re still a virgin, try to limit your masturbation sessions to once a week on a monday (Masturbation Monday). That way, by the time Friday rolls around, you will be full of sexual energy and motivation to actually get a result with a real woman.
If you’re interested in learning how to approach and pick up women, watch this…
Is it Different For Women?
Most modern women usually lose their virginity at a young legal age and then have sex with many guys before settling down.
However, if a woman openly decides to be a virgin until her wedding night, then most people don’t try to interfere or pick on her decision. Our society doesn’t put too much pressure on a woman to have sex.
Yet, for guys it’s different.
They have a small window of opportunity to lose their virginity and every year after that more and more pressure is added.
If people find out that a guy is still at virgin, at 25 for example, he will become the butt of office jokes and people will assume there is something wrong with him.
For the virgin male, he then has to deal with the anxiety and fear about being ridiculed by others behind his back or in person, whenever the subject of sex comes up.
The Good News
If a guy is still a virgin, it does not mean that there is anything wrong with him, which will prevent him from having sex with women forever.
Getting sex with women is easy, as long as you approach them with the right attitude. If a guy is still a virgin and everyone else around him has already begun having sex, it may be due to various reasons, such as:
- Religious beliefs.
- Moral beliefs.
- Physical disabilities.
- Mental disabilities.
Or, he may still be a virgin because he just doesn’t know how to go about changing it. He knows he lacks confidence around women, but he just doesn’t know how to fix it.
However, if he realizes that his virginity has no impact on how a woman sees him, he would be able to move forward and do something about changing it.
Can Women Tell if You’re a Virgin?
A woman cannot see a man’s virginity from a distance, nor can she sense it by simply talking to him (unless he tells her) or from looking into his eyes.
What she will see however, is a guy who is either confident, easy going and at ease with himself when the subject of sex comes up or when she flirts with him. If he’s a virgin or inexperienced with sex, he’s like going to be nervous, insecure and uncomfortable with himself when the subject of sex comes up or when she tries to flirt with him in a sexual way.
In other words, he’s probably going to come across as a typical nice guy and act like he just wants to be friends with the woman. Yet, that approach to women often leads to rejection and here is why…
Unless you tell her, a woman isn’t going to know and she’s not going to be worried. All she wants is a confident guy who can go with the flow of the moment and lead her to kissing, sex and into a relationship.
If you can do that, it doesn’t matter if you are still a virgin. The guy who is constantly saying to himself, “I’m still a virgin…I’m never going to get laid” can be just as successful in attracting women as any other guy because a woman will judge him by his confidence and not by his sexual history.
However, if a guy approaches a woman in an insecure manner, believing that he is not worthy of her, then she will reject him; virgin or not.
Undoing the Brainwashing that You’ve Been Getting From the Media
We are brainwashed by the popular media such as movies, television, magazines and the internet into believing that women want to be treated in a certain way.
We’re told that they want to be put on a pedestal and made to feel in control and in charge (TV commercials are especially guilty of this). While wearing the pants in the relationship, TV commercials will tell us that women also expect flowers, romance and expensive candlelit dinners.
They want to be charmed and swept off their feet by the good looking guy with big muscles who has lots of money, power and success. Oh, and he should be a celebrity or male model too. When modern men see this sort of thing on TV all the time, they begin to believe it as being true.
I’ve lost count of the amount of guys who’ve contacted me complaining about modern women and saying that women are so stuck up these days and all they want are male models, money and fame. Yet, it’s just not true. That’s the TV reality, not the everyday reality.
Despite what TV commercials would like you to believe, here’s the truth:
1. It’s not about the car that you drive:
Yes, some women only want a guy with a sports car and loads of money. That is true.
However, those women are the minority. The majority of women just want a good guy who can make her feel attracted to his confidence and personality and then guide her to kissing, sex and into a relationship.
The advertisers, movie producers and vehicle manufacturers will tell you that your sex appeal to women is all about the car that you drive. If you have the right sports car, then every woman will line up to have sex with you.
Yet, when you meet a woman in bar or at a party for example, she won’t know what car you drive and she won’t ask (unless she’s one of the minority of women who are obsessed with cars).
Instead, she will judge you on how confident you are and how your personality makes her feel. That’s it. You can pull out your car keys and show her, “Look! I drive a Porsche” and it will not impress her if you’re unable to make her feel attracted to your confidence and personality.
If you’re a confident, cool guy, then she’ll say, “Oh, cool!” and will like the fact that you drive an expensive car, but she already liked you anyway because you were confident and cool.
So, don’t think that losing your virginity is about buying some expensive car, house or the latest smartphone.
It’s about you, man.
Not the fancy watch on your wrist, not your smartphone, not your hairstyle…but, YOU. Who you are overall. That’s what it’s about. Are you a confident, cool guy or are you a nervous, shy guy who has all sorts of issues about women and sex? That’s the difference.
2. It’s not about what you wear
Yes, some women only want a guy who wears the latest and greatest fashions, but most women are not that picky and shallow.
Of course, the fashion magazines will tell you that your attractiveness to women is all about the clothes that you wear. If you want to get laid, you have to spend truckloads of money on the latest fashions and get many different pairs of shoes because “women look at a guy’s shoes.”
What a load of crap.
Here’s the truth…
I’ve gotten laid before wearing a t-shirt, shorts and flip-flops (thongs). Sure, you should present yourself well, but wearing amazing fashions is not the secret to success with women.
3. It’s not about being even more of a gentleman than you already are
If you’re still a virgin, then it’s highly-likely that you fit into the category of being a really nice guy.
So, there’s no need to become even nicer to women because that is not the answer to losing your virginity.
Politically correct people in the media (who are afraid to say what they really feel) will tell you that the perfect man is super sweet and very patient and gentlemanly towards a woman. Wait for her, be super nice and eventually she will let you have some sex.
Yes, you should have good etiquette and manners and be a good guy, but being a gentleman is not the answer. Ultimately, a woman wants a guy who is mentally and emotionally stronger than her, who is confident, has high self-esteem and who can make her feel feminine in response to his masculine vibe.
If he is also a good guy, then it is a bonus to her, but she would have sex with a guy like that even if he was a bad boy or jerk.
Why? He is attractive in so many ways to her and women know that it’s next to impossible to find a good guy who is also confident, mentally and emotionally tough and can make her feel like a girly, feminine woman in response to masculinity.
Are You Ready to Lose Your Virginity?
Being a virgin can be a stressful and depressing thing that hangs over your head as a guy.
As others around you enjoy sex, love and relationships, you’re stuck with that empty feeling you get after jerking off to porn several times a week.
Porn is enjoyable in the moment, but it isn’t the same as being with a real woman who loves you, challenges you, makes you happy and walks with you along your path in life.
Laughing and hanging out with her, introducing her to your family and friends and going on vacations together are just a few of the real benefits of having a real woman in your life.
The question is though: Are you ready to lose your virginity?
If you spoke to a woman tomorrow, would you know how to attract her and make her feel an intense desire to have sex with you, or would you feel nervous, not know what to do and lose your opportunity with her?
Want to Know the SECRET to Success With Women?
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This might sound stupid mate but I honestly don’t know how to have sex. I mean yeah its not rocket science but you know the old “find the hole” that scares the shit out of me what if Im god dam terrible at it mate?
Thanks for your question.
Well, you will be terrible if you approach it with that attitude. Sex will naturally and automatically feel good physically, so you don’t need to worry about that. It’s impossible for a woman who wants to have sex with you to not feel physical pleasure when you stick it in.
When it comes to sex, the most important part is how you behave and how you make her feel emotionally. If you want to learn what I do to make women orgasm easily and enjoy sex, watch this program: http://store.themodernman.com/in/18c787c
Dan, do you believe in the statement that women are the gatekeepers to sex? I hear that phrase all the time, I believe it, is it wrong that I feel women can get laid much easier than men can since women normally have the final say when it comes to sex happening?
I used to think the same thing. Since women didn’t like me (because I lacked confidence and would get nervous around women I liked), they never seemed to be keen to have sex with me. It was almost as though they’d be doing me a favor by having sex with me.
Then, I discovered that it us men who are the gatekeepers to sex if we decide so. We teach the secrets of that (and how to get women hoping to have sex with you) in this program: http://store.themodernman.com/in/ff7fdd
Hey Dan, i’m still a virgin at age 24, is it true that sex feels different physically as you get older, as you age? that sex won’t feel the same pleasure-wise the older you get? that it feels differently in your 30’s, 40’s and older as it did compared to your teens and 20’s? because many people say that teens, well mainly 20’s are a mans(man as in human male) sexual prime years for sex. Because of this I desperately hope to lose my virginity before age 30.
Thanks for your question.
No, it’s not true. Sex has become more enjoyable for me each year.
If you are past a certain age and still a virgin and never had a girlfriend before, should you lie about your experience to women? Because unfortunately the overwhelming vast majority of women are turned off by inexperienced men, especially the older he gets because i hear what goes through a woman’s mind is that if no other woman has wanted him then why should she? They say women have a pre-selection mentality, they want a man that is provenly desired by other women, they say its attractive to women when a man has an ex girlfriend or more because it shows the woman that he is an attractive man, they figure something is wrong with a man if he is past a certain age and still a virgin, never dated, so should the man lie then?
Women say all sorts of things that they do not stick to when confronted with it. See: http://www.themodernman.com/blog/7-strange-things-about-women.html
Stop making excuses for your fear of approaching women or your lack of ability with women. See: http://www.themodernman.com/videos/what-is-your-skill-level-with-women.html
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