These days, dating multiple people at once is something that both men and women do to enjoy a fun and exciting lifestyle full of sex, love and rollercoaster emotions. Some people want to quickly settle down and get married, some want to start a family as soon as possible and others just want to have fun for a while.
If you're a man who is interested in dating multiple women at once, you may:
- Have just come out of a long-term relationship and are now looking to have some fun, before committing yourself to another serious relationship.
- Be too busy at the moment (i.e. with work or study) to devote yourself to a committed relationship.
- Enjoy having new women in your life all the time.
- Get bored after having sex with a woman for a few months.
- Have not found the right girl yet who makes you feel like you want to commit for real.
- Have recently been dumped or cheated on by a woman you really loved and now want to get some revenge by having sex with many women and breaking hearts along the way.
- Enjoy pulling one night stands from bars and nightclubs and then dating women for a while before replacing them with new girls.
- Be sick and tired of jerking off to porn every week and now want to have sex with hot women in real life.
Whatever the case is for you, I'm going to explain how I dated multiple women at once for years before settling down with my perfect woman. Personally speaking, I had sex with more than 250 women before I recently settled down into my current relationship. I had an amazing time having sex and enjoying fun times with all those women and I'm now enjoying deep love and commitment with my perfect woman, which is just as, if not more amazing than dating multiple women at once.
If didn't have sex with so many women before settling down, I don't think I would have felt satisfied. I always held the view that there were way too many sexy women in the world to just have one of them. However, by the time I met my girlfriend, I had enjoyed more than enough women to satisfy my insatiable appetite.
How Many Women at Once?
Personally speaking, there were times when I had five or six women on rotation, who were all actively pursuing me and coming around to my place for sex. However, most of the time, I just kept to three women at once because any more than that and it begins to cause more problems than it’s worth (e.g. It becomes difficult to remember who you took where, what you talked about, what movies you saw, their personal interests and so forth). Seeing more than three women at once also eats up too much of your time, which then takes you away from achieving your life purpose or career goals, so I recommend that you limit the number of woman you are seeing to two or three at once.
Often, you will have women who come in and out of your life every few months just to see you a few times. I always had those girls in the background and when they were bored or feeling lonely, they would text or Facebook message me and we'd catch up at my place for sex. They would usually want to be "wined and dined" before the sex because they didn't want to make themselves look cheap, so I would go out to dinner or a movie with them first and then go back to my place for sex. I don't do that anymore because I'm now committed to my girlfriend.
When I met my girlfriend and we immediately fell madly in love with each other, I had to send text messages to four different women to let them know that they wouldn't be able to come around to my place for sex anymore. Two women called me up crying, another one called up and told me that should would wait until I dumped my girlfriend and the other said that I was an asshole. Two months later, the girl who said I was an asshole sent me a Facebook message saying that she missed me and hope that we might be able to be together again one day.
The DOs and DON'Ts of Dating Multiple Women at Once
1. Don't Call, Text or Message Her Once You've Begun Having Sex
The golden rule of dating multiple women at once is to never call them after you've begun having sex with each other. If you are in a committed relationship with only one woman, you will usually talk with her on the phone or see her in person a few times a week, or you will live with her and see her every day. However, if you’re dating multiple women, you should stop calling or texting after you've had sex with her for the first time. It's fine to make a comment on her Facebook status update, click "like" on a photo, etc, but avoid chatting with her online, on the phone or via text.
Never, ever initiate a call or text with her. Always be the one who is replying. Just wait and let her be the one who calls, texts and sends Facebook messages to you. When she does reach out to you, only answer your phone calls from her sometimes and then take your time to reply to texts and Facebook messages; sometimes immediately, sometimes an hour or two later and sometimes the next day. If you're always calling her and texting her, she will assume you want to be her committed boyfriend, so just let her do all the chasing after sex has happened between you.
When you answer your phone (you should only answer it sometimes), keep the conversation brief and positive, but try to get her to get to the point of the call instead of wasting your time. If she asks to see you or go out on a date again, but you're going to be busy on the day she wants to meet, just set up another time to meet her. If you are free to meet her because you don't have any plans, just make sure that you avoid seeing her too often. Once a week is perfect when you're dating multiple women. Twice a week and it starts getting too much like a boyfriend/girlfriend situation and three times a week means you're pretty much committing yourself to one girl.
If you are actually dating multiple women and have a life purpose that you are following through on, you simply won't have the time to see her more than once a week. If you don't maintain a balance of seeing her once a week (or less), as well as having a life purpose that you're actively pursuing, then it will be difficult for you to control your emotions (e.g. eagerness to see her, feeling lonely and bored, etc) and successfully date multiple women at once.
2. Do Be Honest When She Asks You, "Are You Seeing Anyone Else?"
Once you’ve had sex with her a few times, but are not behaving as though you’re in a committed relationship, a woman will usually ask if you’re seeing any other women or where you think your relationship with her is headed.
The best approach is to be honest with her. For example:
- Her: Are you seeing anyone else?
- You: Yes, I'm seeing other women as well because I don't want a fully committed relationship right now.
- Her: Where is this going? Are we going to have a relationship or do you just want me for sex?
- You: All I know is that I really like you, that you're sexy and that you're a great woman. Right now, I just don't want to be have a committed relationship though. If you can't handle that, then okay we won't see each other anymore, but if you can, then we can keep seeing each other like this and see where it goes.
To lessen the blow and not bruise her ego too much, you can also reply with a bit of humor instead of giving her a serious response. For example: If she asks you whether or not you are dating multiple women, you can smile and look around the room and say, "Hmmm, let me see. Nope. It looks like you’re the only one I’m with. Only you baby..." and then change the subject. Some women will laugh and then read between the lines to determine that you're only dating her and are not in courting mode.
It's important to point out here that many women actually want you to avoid answering the question because they just want to have casual sex for a while. With those women (you will have to trust your gut instinct to know which is which), it will be better to turn the question back on her by saying in an easy-going, kind, but also assertive way, "Why are you worrying about that? I’m here with you, we’re having a great time...there's no need to worry about that stuff...I like you, baby, don't worry."
You can then add in that since you’re not in a committed relationship with her right now, you wouldn’t think of asking her if she’s dating other men at the same time. That will make some women feel a guilty for bringing up the subject or hesitant to ask you about it again in future. It will also make many women want to "win" and get you to commit to her. So, after telling her not to worry about it, expect her to try all sorts of things to get you to commit (e.g. saying she doesn't want to see you anymore, not calling for a week, crying about you not committing to her, etc).
Personally speaking, my women always knew that I was dating other women without me even having to say it. How? They noticed how attracted and infatuated they became after only a few minutes of interaction. Then, after we'd have sex and they experienced my raw, masculine confidence in the bedroom, they knew for sure that other girls would gladly come around to my apartment just for sex even if they didn't get be my exclusive girlfriend or not. In fact, some of the women I was seeing actually introduced me to their girlfriends and let me know that they were interested in hooking up with me. In case you're wondering, that isn't because I have a huge penis (I just have an average-sized one), but because of what I do to women in the bedroom.
Despite women knowing that I was the sort of guy who would most-likely have other women chasing him, my women still asked me if I was seeing other women. My approach was always to be honest, while also making the woman feel special. I would say something like, "Yes, I'm seeing other girls, but I like you and when I'm with you, I only think about you. Don't worry about the other girls...we always feel good when we're together, right?" and she would then answer, "Yes" or would try to make me feel guilty by saying, "No, you're the only guy who makes me cry. You treat me so badly. I don't know why I continue seeing you."
I didn't get sucked in by her attempt to control me through guilt because I know that women love being with guys who make them feel so much love and yearning that they cry about not being able to get him to fully commit. The fantasy male characters in most romance novels are exactly like that and then the girl wins him over in the end, or she just keeps trying to chase him and get him to commit, but he never does. Women love the thrill of the chase, even if they say to your face that they don't.
After confirming that I was indeed seeing other women, I would then usually draw the woman into me, hug her, start kissing her neck and grabbing her butt at the same time, firmly caressing her all over her body and then have sex with her. Instead of being pulled into drama and useless conversation, I would use my masculinity to lead her and I out of that conversation and into a more enjoyable emotional state of being. A huge benefit of those moments is that women then try their very best to please you during sex in the hope that you will possibly change your mind and commit to her. It's similar to "make up sex" after a break up, but more erotic in a way because she feels like she is being used for sex and loves it at the same time. It's a nice moment.
3. Do Let Her Be Your Time to Unwind, Not Your Girlfriend
If you're constantly taking her out to expensive restaurants and trying to organize additional dates, then you're trying to be her boyfriend. However, if you're a man who is going after his life purpose and has a great group of friends, you won't always have a lot of time for her. If you lead a balanced life and are man who is rising through the levels of life, you are going to be under a lot of pressure to continue succeeding at whatever you do. When that is the case, women become your time to unwind and instead of being clingy and needy, you remain confident and in control of your emotions.
Personally, when I did have time to "hang out" with one of my girls, I would just get her to come over to my place and then take it from there. My girls knew the deal and were fully aware that they were coming over for sex, but I still needed to be respectful and sometimes take her out to do something instead of just having sex with her and then watching TV. Since I was working so hard (on The Modern Man. I still do, every day), I really enjoyed the quality time (other than during sex) that I spent with my girls because it helped me take my mind off my work. Seeing my girls was my time to unwind and breathe in some feminine energy after being so masculine all day long while I worked on my purpose (The Modern Man).
When I would see my women, I would enjoy doing things like going for a walk down by the river (Southbank in Melbourne), going for coffee, watching a movie at the cinema, grabbing a bite to eat somewhere, chilling out at the beach around sunset or even going out to party with her and our friends. The same now applies with my live-in girlfriend; I work my ass off all day long for The Modern Man and then at night, I spend time with her. Some nights, we hang out with my friends together and other nights she will catch up with her friends and I will catch up with mine. Maintaining a balanced life like that is important and is one part of what it takes to keep the passion alive in a relationship.
4. Don't Get Too Close With Her Family
When couples transition from casual dating to building a serious relationship, they will usually then formally introduce each other to family. When dating multiple women at once, you want to completely avoid meeting her parents, if possible. If she invites you to a family get together, you can go to it as long as she is already aware that you are dating other women and are not exclusive with her. If she's cool with that, then meeting her parents isn't a big deal to her. However, if you're lying to her and pretending that you're serious with her, then she will probably be mighty disappointed and hurt when you eventually break up with her or tell her the truth.
5. Don't Give Up Seeing Other Women, Unless You Want to
Some women won’t like that you're seeing several women at once because that's just not how they roll. They will demand that you only see them and will not be willing to share you with other women. If you want to have multiple women at once, you have to be willing to risk losing some women along the way. If a woman demands that you stop seeing other women and only see her, you should only accept that if you want to truly commit to her.
If you know that you just want to have sex with her for a while, then simply laugh at her and the situation and let her know that you will think about it. Why not tell her "No" directly? Many women (in fact, most women) only demand that you stop seeing other women so you can say, "Okay, will only see you" and then they feel better about themselves. However, she knows that you will most likely continue seeing other women and she will just have to try hard to get you to commit to her.
When I met my girlfriend, we knew right away that we weren't going to be having an open relationship. It was serious and both of us knew that right away. When my girlfriend said to me, "I don't want you seeing other women, okay? It's just us, right?" I paused to think about it for a few seconds and then said, "Yes, just you and me" and then I stuck to that promise. I was happy and willing to stop seeing other women because she was and still is more than enough woman for me.
6. Do Try to Look After Her Feelings
It's impossible not to break the heart of some women when you're dating multiple women at once. It is just part and parcel of having many women in your life and whether most women admit it or not, they actually love being with guys who make them feel intense emotions. That said, when dating multiple women, you shouldn't intentionally try to hurt a woman's feelings and you should always try to look out for her feelings as much as possible.
For instance, many women will ask things like, "Am I not good enough for you?" to which some guys will just be an asshole and say, "No, you're not...sorry," but that is unnecessary. My response to that question is, "It's not about that. As I've said, I don't want a relationship right now. If you don't want to see me and have fun like this, then I encourage you to go and find another man." Some women took me up on that offer and would call me up or text me from a bar/nightclub to say that they were out partying with their girlfriends. I would always say, "Have fun!" and then think nothing of it. Why? I had other women in my life and if I wanted to commit to her, I would have already. The women I didn't commit to weren't good enough for me, but I didn't have to hurt them by saying that directly.
Some people may say that I should have just said to the woman, "No, you're not good enough" but we all live our life in the way we want. There are no set rules to life as a human; humans have been making up the meaning of life for as long as we could come with ideas. Whichever way you approach answering the question, you will hurt women's feelings at times, but hey - women who are in demand do the same thing to men. They dump men, lead men on and say all sorts of hurtful things to men who really love them.
Personally speaking, I used to constantly get rejected and overlooked by women and couldn't even get one girlfriend, let alone multiple women. What changed? I became a confident guy and discovered the techniques that I now teach here at The Modern Man. I'm still not a good-looking guy, I still don't have big muscles and I'm still average height, yet I had learned how to have my choice of women and enjoyed that for many years before settling down. Yes, I broke some hearts along the way, but women who are in demand also break the hearts of many guys in their life.
The Bad Boy Version of Dating Multiple Women
A friend of mine who also has multiple girlfriends takes things a little further than I do and is considered a "bad boy" by most women who meet him. He's an Italian guy and speaks good English, but does so with a strong Italian accent. He's a very charming man and can make pretty much any woman go weak at the knees in his presence. When he and I would go out to meet women, we would always pull women back for sex. There was literally never been a time where we weren't able to each take a woman home for sex when we intentionally went out to get it.
Why? Both of us know how to instantly make women feel amazing about themselves (i.e. they feel sexy and beautiful), become incredibly turned on and begin to fall in love during a simple interaction. Some girls that we met would smile and lovingly refer to us as the "Dangerous Duo," adding, "Oh, you guys – you know how to make women like you too easily. You guys are trouble." A few hours later, I would be back at my place having sex with one of them and she would love it.
Anyway, this friend of mine openly refers to his women as his "Number 1" and his "Number 2" girls. All girls, except his Number 1, are referred to as his Number 2, because calling them Number 4 or 5 would be downright insulting and that is never the aim. However, when a girl he's been having sex with discovers that he also has a Number 1, she will usually go out of her way to try to become his Number 1 girl instead.
Girls can't help it; they are naturally attracted to men who are lusted after by other women. Referring to women as Number 1 or 2 is a bad boy approach to dating, but in reality he is very nice to his women. He treats them well, shows them a great time in the bedroom and spends quality time with them. I've never seen one of his girls looking unsatisfied.
Most Women Are Open to Having Casual Sex (Even if They Deny it to Others)
Most women would never openly admit it to others, but a lot of them are totally cool with having casual sex for a while, even if the guy is seeing other women.Women can't go around admitting that because it can make them look cheap or as though they are willing to be treated badly by men. Yet, the reality is, women hook up with these men because the man usually has a high level of skill with women and makes her feel amazing during a simple conversation, during sex and when she is cuddled up with him on the sofa.
If the relationship becomes serious, she will usually begin to want more out of him and may ask him to commit to her only. If you've been upfront with a woman from the start, then breaking it off with her when she starts talking about marriage or babies is going to be so much easier. You can just tell her, “Hey, babe, I told you from the start, I'm not ready for that. You know that already. I think it's probably best that we don't see each other anymore.”
She will then usually back off and promise that she is okay with just seeing you when you can, but if she persists and keeps demanding that you only see her, then you need to break it off with her if you don't want to commit to her. In most cases, a woman like that will reach out to you via Facebook or text within weeks to a few months asking to see you casually again. I usually let those sort of women come around for a bit more sex, but I made sure (as always) to wear a condom so I didn't accidentally impregnate them.
Ready to Get Started?
Are you interested in having your choice of women until you are ready to settle down into a relationship? What would life be like if women really liked you and desperately wanted to get you to commit to them? Imagine having multiple women come over to your place for sex every week. Imagine no longer having to try hard to get girls to like you and instead just choosing from the many women who really want to have sex and a relationship with you. If you are serious about having this sort of power over women, then get started here.