Dating multiple women

You'll be surprised at how willing most women are to be your "Number 2" girl for a while

There can be any number of reasons that you don’t want to get into a one-woman relationship right now. You might have just come out of a long-term relationship, you may be too busy to devote yourself to a committed relationship, you may enjoy having new women all the time or maybe you just haven't found the right girl yet. Whatever the case, let's look at how you can successfully date multiple women at once.

Keep Your Dating Roster Under Control

Unless you only want a series of one-night-stands and you don’t plan on seeing any of the women again, you will usually only be able to balance two or three girlfriends at a time. More than that and it is likely to cause you more problems than it’s worth, because it becomes difficult to remember who you took where, what you talked about, what movies you saw, their personal interests and so forth. It also eats up too much time, so unless you want to have a new woman every day, keep a dossier on each one and review it before each contact, limit the number of woman you are seeing to two or three at once. This is supposed to be a fun experience for you, not more paperwork!

Never Call Her

If you are in a committed relationship with one woman, you will usually talk with or see her a few times a week. However, if you’re dating multiple women, you want to make sure that several days to a week go by between phone calls and dates. Additionally, after you've had sex with a new woman, you should stop calling her, texting her and Facebooking her. Let her be the one who calls, texts and sends Facebook messages. Then, only answer your phone calls from her sometimes and take your time to reply to texts and Facebook messages; sometimes immediately, sometimes an hour or two later and sometimes the next day. If you're always calling her and texting her, she will assume you want to be her boyfriend, so just let her do all the chasing after sex has happened between you.

When she calls you, make the conversation brief and non-committal. If she asks you out, but you're going to be busy on the day she wants to meet, just set up another time to meet her. However, if you are free, avoid getting together with her too often. Once a week is perfect. Twice a week and it starts getting too much like boyfriend/girlfriend. Besides, if you are actually dating multiple women and have a life outside of that, you simply won't have the time to see her more than once a week.

"Are You Seeing Anyone Else?"

Once you’ve had sex with her a few times, but are not acting as though you’re in a committed relationship, a woman will often directly ask you if you’re seeing any other women or where you think your relationship with her is headed.

The best approach is to be honest with her. However, to lessen the blow and not bruise her ego too much, you can initially reply with a bit of humor and light-hearted joking around. So, if she asks the question about whether you’re dating multiple women, you can smile and look around the room and say, “Hmmm, let me see. Nope. It looks like you’re the only one I’m with. Only you baby...” and then change the subject. Some women will laugh and call you “bad” but they will love it and understand the deal. Others will persist further.

If a woman persists with the questioning, you can then either directly tell her that you are seeing other women (explained in the next section) or you can playfully avoid the conversation (sometimes women want you to avoid answering for a while) by turning the question back on her by saying in an easy-going, positive, but also assertive way, “Why are you worrying about that? I’m here with you, we’re having a great time...there's no need to worry about that stuff...I like you, baby, don't worry.” You can also follow that statement up by casually saying that since you’re not in a long-term relationship with her, you wouldn’t think of asking her if she’s dating other men at the same time. This will likely make her feel a little guilty for bringing up the subject and she will be hesitant to ask it again in the near future.

Honesty Beats All Other “Tactics”

Above all, when it comes to dating multiple women, you should be honest about who you are and how you roll. Personally speaking, my girls know right away that other women like me because they themselves notice how attracted they are to me and how quickly they fell into feeling infatuated by me after only a few minutes of interaction. Then, after we've had sex and they've seen how confident I am in the bedroom, they know for sure that other girls would be gladly coming around to my apartment just for sex regardless if they got be my exclusive girlfriend or not.

So, the way I approach it is to be honest, but also to genuinely make the woman feel special. I tell her that, “Yes, I'm seeing other girls, but I like you and when I'm with you, I only think about you. Don't think about the other girls...don't worry about that...we always feel good together, right?” and she will of course answer, “Yes.” I'll then usually draw her into me, hug her, start kissing her neck and grabbing her butt at the same time, firmly caressing her all over her body and then I'll have sex with her. After that, she'll have forgotten about the other girls. Best of all though, girls in that position in a relationship usually try their very best to please you during sex in the hope that you will possibly change your mind and become exclusive with her.

Taking it a Bit Further (If You Want)

A friend of mine who also has multiple girlfriends takes things a little further than I do. He's an Italian guy and speaks good English, but does so with a strong Italian accent. He's a very charming man and can make pretty much any woman go weak at the knees in his presence. When he and I go out to meet women, we always pull women back for sex. There has literally never been a time where we haven't been able to have our pick of women to take home. Why? Both of us know how to make women instantly feel amazing about themselves (i.e. they feel sexy and beautiful), become incredibly turned on and begin to fall in love during a simple interaction. Some girls that we've met, smile and lovingly refer to us as the “Dangerous Duo,” adding, “Oh, you guys – you know how to make women love you too easily.” They eat it up.

Anyway, this friend of mine openly refers to his women as his “Number 1” and his “Number 2.” All girls, except his Number 1, are referred to as his Number 2, because calling them Number 4 or 5 would be downright insulting and that is never the aim. However, when a girl he's been having sex with discovers that he also has a Number 1, she will go out of her way to try to become his Number 1 girl instead. Girls can't help it; they are naturally attracted to men who are lusted after by other women. Some people may think that my friend is being a bad boy by doing that, but in reality he is very nice to his women. He treats them well, shows them a great time in the bedroom and spends quality time with them. I've never seen one of his girls looking unsatisfied.

Don't Lie to Her

If you lie about the fact that you're dating multiple women or try to conceal who you are, most women won’t tolerate your refusal to be direct and honest and will usually cut things off with you. As we always say at The Modern Man, “You never need to lie to a woman.” There's just no point in it. Be upfront, be real and be authentic and you will live a much happier, stress-free life. When you are honest and real, you don't have to waste time worrying about what you “need” to say or “should” say in any given moment. You just tell it like it is and, luckily, that's what works best with women and in life.

Some Women Won't Want to Share You, But That's Okay

The truth is, some women won’t like that you're seeing several women at once because that's just not how they roll. That's fine, you may lose some girls that way, but it’s a risk you have to be willing to take if you want to have multiple women at once. Think of it this way, at least you get to have sex with them for a few weeks to a month before those problems arise anyway. (Don't forget: The women will enjoy the sex as well. It's not just you who gets a good deal out of it, so you are not doing a bad thing at all).

Since you were able to attract these women in the first place, you'll have plenty of new women to fill her place right away. Once you get to a level where you can attract most women, getting new women is simple and easy. They are everywhere and they all want to have a piece of you. If you want to learn the secrets to being the type of guy that women can't resist, watch Better Than a Bad Boy.

“Am I Not Good Enough For You?”

When a woman really likes you, chances are she’s going to be willing to risk have you bruise her ego by directly asking you why she isn’t good enough for a solitary, committed relationship.

If you like this woman and want to continue seeing her, you need to honestly tell her why you don't want an exclusive relationship with one woman. Maybe you recently got out of a long-term relationship and aren’t ready to have another committed relationship just yet. Or maybe you want to take more time to get to know her better before you decide that you are ready to truly commit to her.

Personally, I just tell women the truth, which is that I'm too busy to have a committed relationship. Sometimes I just don't have time to “hang out” because I am busy with my work. I know that this will likely cause problems if I can't see her for a week or more at a time, so I avoid giving a woman the impression that she can see me and just hang out whenever she wants. I also explain that I am not ready to settle into a committed relationship that may eventually lead to her wanting to have children, because I already know that I won't be ready for that for at least five to ten years.

How many girls do I lose because of saying that? Initially none. They all keep trying and hope to “change” me. Eventually, they get the picture and, since I don't call them at all, they have to find a new guy and move on. However, most will continue to call and text and otherwise stay in touch, especially when they become single again.

Keep It Casual

Unless you have money to burn on every date, you should plan dates that are just casual fun. When you go out to eat, consider just going out for inexpensive meals (e.g. food court/food hall at a mall/casino, bar meals, etc.) rather than going to flashy restaurants and giving her the impression that you want things to be more serious. Also, make sure there is no expensive gift-giving (or getting) because it will get both of you thinking about potentially making things more serious. When you’re dating several women, keeping things light and affordable won’t give the women any reason to think that you are trying to express your serious commitment.

Personally, when I do have time to “hang out” I just get girls to come over to my place. My girls know the deal and are fully aware that they are coming over for sex, but you still need to be respectful enough to do something other than have sex with her. I also really enjoy the quality time (other than during sex) that I spend with my girls because it helps me take my mind off my work. I enjoy doing things like going for a walk down by the river sometimes, going for coffee, watching a movie at the cinema, grabbing a bite to eat somewhere, chilling out at the beach around sunset or even going out to party with her and our friends.

Avoid Getting Too Close With Her Family

When couples begin to transition from casual dates to building a serious relationship, that’s when they’ll usually start formally introducing each other to family. When dating multiple women at once, you want to avoid meeting her parents, if possible. If she invites you to a family get together, you can go to it as long as she is fully aware that you are dating other women and are not exclusive with her. If she's cool with that, then meeting her folks isn't going to be a big deal in her eyes. However, if you're lying to her and pretending that you're serious, she's going to be mighty disappointed and hurt when you eventually break up with her or tell her the truth.

Modern Women

They don't openly admit it to most people, but a lot of modern women are okay with being with a man that has other women. If the relationship becomes serious, understandably that's when things change though and she will quickly alter her tune and want more out of him. If you've been upfront from the start, then breaking it off with her when she starts talking about marriage or babies is going to be so much easier. You can just tell her, “Hey, babe, I told you from the start, I'm not ready for that. You know that already. I think it's probably best that we don't see each other anymore.” Usually, she will back off and promise that she is okay with just seeing you when you can, but if she persists you need to break it off with her.

However, if she doesn't persist and wants to call it quits, encourage her to leave your place quickly as possible (don't drag it out). Say something like, "Okay cool, well I've got some work to do on the computer" and she'll get the hint. Then, when she leaves, just send out a text (this is the only time you should be sending a text, instead of just replying to girls) to one of your girls and get her to come over that night or the next. Don't be surprised if the girl you broke up with sends you a text or Facebook message within a week to a month. If you're following the advice from Better Than a Bad Boy, she won't be able to stop herself from getting back in contact with you. Why? Other guys simply won't compare to you.