This is a guide on how to get your ex back within 7 days or less.
I don’t recommend that you wait longer than 7 days to contact your ex because if you do, most women simply move on.
I hear from guys all day, every day and most of them have tried ignoring their ex for 30 to 60 days and lost her.
So, I recommend that you follow this 7 day guide and get her back quickly, before you lose your chance with her.
- Day 1 of No Contact
- Day 2 of No Contact
- Day 3 of No Contact
- Day 4 of No Contact
- Day 5 of No Contact
- Day 6 of No Contact
- Day 7 of No Contact
On Day 1 of No Contact, here are the 5 things you should do:
1. Come up with a clear list of reasons why she broke up with you
The first step you need to take is to understand the real reasons why your woman broke up with you.
Some guys may wonder, “Doesn’t every guy know already why he really got dumped?”
Interestingly enough, the answer is often, “No.”
Some guys know exactly why they got broken up with (e.g. he cheated on her, he was abusive towards her, he was a habitual liar).
Yet, in a lot of cases, a guy doesn’t have a clear understanding of his woman’s real reasons for wanting out of the relationship.
The woman doesn’t want to tell him her actual reasons because he will then promise to change those things about himself if she just gives him another chance.
So, a woman might break up with a guy by saying something along the lines of, “You’re a really great guy and all, but I just don’t want to be together right now. I’m really confused about my life at the moment and I need some space to figure things out,” or “I’m tired trying to make our relationship. It’s just too stressful. I think it’s better if we break up for now.”
Neither of those reasons give a guy a clear understanding of what he’s been doing wrong.
Women do that on purpose, so a guy can’t convince her to give him another chance based on that, or quickly change and improve what she wants, show her the changes and ask for another chance.
In most cases, a woman wants a man to feel confused and not know how to get her back, so she can then move on and get on with her life without him.
After all, she’s most likely given him plenty of chances to improve already and he hasn’t ever been able to level up and become the kind of man she really wants.
So, now that she is breaking up with him, she doesn’t want to explain how he can get her back.
This is why it’s very important that you use the first day of No Contact to figure out your ex’s real reasons for leaving, rather than wasting time feeling confused about the vague excuses she may have given you (e.g. “You’re a great guy, but I just don’t want to be in a relationship right now.”)
If you’re not sure where to start, here are some questions that will help you uncover the deeper reasons why your woman may have decided to end the relationship…
- Were you the more dominant one in the relationship, or did you let her get away with bad behavior and be disrespectful towards you?
- Were you loving, attentive and caring, or did you regularly hurt her feelings and not really care how she felt?
- Did you make her feel like a sexy, desirable woman in your presence, or did you treat her more like a neutral friend (e.g. you and her ended up hanging out like buddies)?
- Did you maintain your confidence when she tried to upset you by throwing a tantrum or creating drama, or did you lose your composure, get angry or sulk?
- Did you have a long term plan for your life and were you motivated, focused and active in pursuing that plan, or did you behave more like a young guy in the relationship (e.g. immature, didn’t take responsibility for your life, spent more time watching TV or playing video games than focusing on your future)?
- Did you believe in yourself and your value to her, or did you end up feeling like you weren’t good enough for her?
- Did you feel secure in your masculinity and feel confident that she only wanted to be with you, or were you always worried that she might dump you if another guy came along? As a result, did you end up becoming a jealous and controlling boyfriend, or husband?
- Were you only dominant at home with her in private, but then submissive or nervous when around other men or very confident people?
- Did you focus on building on her feelings of love, respect and attraction for you over time, or did you just assume that because you both loved each other at the start, the relationship would last for life?
- Was the attraction between you mutual, or did you always seem to feel more attracted to her than she felt for you?
- Were you not very attracted to her at the start, but she then grew on you over time and knew it? Did she then dump you to try and get you to feel like you really needed her?
Did any of those reasons apply to your relationship?
If so, then you are off to a great start on the path to getting her back within 7 days.
It’s absolutely essential that you know WHAT to fix, so you can then focus on learning HOW to fix it.
I will help you fix, improve and change yourself to be attractive to your ex as you go through this 7 day guide.
You can do it.
Stay focused and you WILL get her back.
The next thing you should do on Day 1 of No Contact is…
2. Start working on improving those things about yourself
For example: If you realized that you were too neutral around her and treated her more like a buddy than a sexy, desirable woman, don’t make that same mistake when you interact with her now.
You have to go from being Mr. Friendly and Neutral, to Mr. Sexually Confident and Charismatic.
If you do that, she will notice the difference, it will feel amazing to her and she will feel compelled to open up to you a little more to explore those new feelings.
That is how it works.
Yet, a lot of guys don’t understand that.
Many guys assume that when interacting with an ex girl, they need to be on their best behavior to impress her (e.g. be extra sweet and nice to her, pretend he’s not interested in her sexually anymore, be extra considerate and generous).
Yet, that’s the worst thing that a guy can do if one of her main reasons for breaking up with him was that she didn’t feel like a feminine, girly woman in his presence.
She wanted him to man up and be more masculine in his behavior and energy, but all he continues to offer her is nice, sweet, neutral feelings.
That’s not going to cut it.
To show his ex that he has understood where he went wrong (i.e. he stopped making her feel like a real woman), he needs to actively make her feel attracted to the new and improved version of him.
One of the best ways to start doing that is by flirting with her in a confident, masculine way.
For example: He’s talking to her on the phone and they are having a laugh and getting along. He then says the following…
Him: I’m hungry.
Her: Well, eat then.
Him: Get your butt over her and cook for me.
Her: [Most likely laughing that he now has the balls to say something like that to her].
Him: Make me your macaroni and cheese. You do a good job of that.
Her: You make it yourself.
Him: [Laughs] What’s sort of woman are you? You can’t even make macaroni and cheese. You’re hopeless. [Laughs again].
Essentially, he’s just joking around with her and letting her see that he has the balls to say risky things because he knows that it’s only flirting.
If she is a typical woman, she will most likely try to test his confidence by pretending to get angry at what he said.
If she does, he simply needs to laugh and say, “Relax girl…you need to lighten up. You’re too serious about things” and then laugh at her.
In other words, he doesn’t buckle under pressure.
He doesn’t fail her test of his confidence.
He shows her that he has bigger balls now, which is what she wanted from him all along.
Best of all, he’s doing it by flirting with her, which is the preferred method of communication for women when they are talking to men that they have a romantic interest in.
Flirting allows an ex woman to feel attracted and to show subtle signs of interest, without worrying that it means she is agreeing to get back with you.
Yet, when she feels attracted in response to your confident, masculine flirting, she automatically begins to want you back.
She suddenly stops focusing on how she felt before (e.g. turned off, no longer in love with you) and begins to focus more on how she feels now (e.g. attracted, excited, happy, in love again).
She can then think something like, “Maybe it’s not hopeless after all. Maybe we can make this work,” and open herself up to getting back together with you for real.
The next step to take on Day 1 of No Contact is…
3. Focus on calming down and regaining control of your emotions
Let’s face it…
You’re most likely feeling pretty hurt about the break up now, right?
Yet, when you’re feeling that way, it’s very easy to say and do the wrong things around her.
So, regaining control of your emotions is a very important step that you shouldn’t brush over.
Watch this video for more info…
Regaining control of your emotions is important because your emotional state (i.e. confident or insecure) is either going to be attracting your ex back to you or turning her off even further.
So, don’t brush over this part.
Some guys do brush it over (e.g. because they will be able to hide their pain and won’t say or do anything to mess things up), only to then say and do things that turn their ex girl off even more.
For example: When a guy has just been dumped, he might be feeling shocked, angry, desperate, or stunned by the news.
He might react in a way that’s uncharacteristic of him (e.g. insult her or call her names, beg, plead and cry, demand that she give him another chance, get violent with her or other people, send her loads of desperate, frantic texts).
In most cases, the guy is a good guy and is simply acting out of character, but his ex usually won’t see it that way.
Instead, his behavior can cause her to think something like, “If this is how he’s reacting to being broken up with, I wonder how he would have behaved if I stayed with him and things got tough in our relationship? I’m glad that I am finding this out about him now and can see his real character. If I had any doubts about breaking up with him before, I don’t have any now. I have to get away from him and not look back. He’s not a real man and he’s not capable of handling a woman like me. I have to move on. He isn’t man enough for me.”
That’s not how you want to make your newly ex woman feel.
So, if you’re feeling upset about the break up, it’s best that you use Day 1 of No Contact to calm down and regain control of your emotions before you attempt to contact her again.
Once you’re feeling more relaxed, the next step you need to take is to…
4. Start learning how to re-attract her
When a guy breaks up with his woman, he will often be given advice from friends and family on how to handle it.
Some well-meaning friends might say things like, “Forget about her. You don’t need her. There’s plenty of fish in the sea. Just move on and find yourself another girl.”
Others might say, “Ignore her for 21, 30 or 60 days and she will come running back to you.”
A mother, sister or female friend might say, “Send flowers and apologize to her. I’m sure she will forgive you,” or “Write her a letter and tell her how you feel about her. Apologize and tell her that you are willing to work things out.”
Although everyone’s intentions are likely good and they are only trying to help, following through on that kind of advice just doesn’t work in most cases.
What does work?
Interacting with her and actively making her feel sexually and romantically attracted to you again.
I recommend that you make her feel that way AFTER you have given her 3 to 7 days of space.
In the meantime, you need to focus on learning what to say and do to re-attract her when you interact with her after giving her some space.
So, at this point, you either need to get help from other men in your life (e.g. a father, grandfather, brother, uncle, friend, co-worker), or if you want to avoid making mistakes that might turn her off even more, seek professional help (from me) on how to re-attract her.
Here’s a free video to help you get started…
Once you’ve started learning the right ways to re-attract her, you need to…
5. Get some rest, knowing that you are preparing to successfully get her back
A break up can definitely occupy a great deal of your time, thinking and emotional energy.
It can be stressful and cause you to stop eating and sleeping properly.
It’s not a nice feeling at all, true?
However, if you want to get her back, you must get past the initial shock, stress and panic of being dumped by her.
One way to do that is to understand that you ARE going to get her back.
You are currently learning what you need to do to get her back and you are learning about re-attracting her.
It is going to work.
I know that because I hear back from 100s of guys per day now (via this site, on social media, via e-mail) who tell me that it has worked for them.
So, don’t worry.
Everything is going to be okay.
Relax and know that you are on the right path now.
You will get her back because you are going to preparing to properly re-attract her and make her feel like she is in love with you again.
That is what works.
So, after you spend some time learning about how to attract her again, try to use some of your remaining time to rest and do things that you enjoy.
- Take a long, relaxing walk in the park or around your neighborhood.
- Go to the gym and have a great workout.
- Go to a movie with some friends.
- Play some video games.
- Cook up one of your favorite meals while listening to your favorite music (don’t listen to sad love songs!).
The more relaxed and in control you feel, the more it will come across when you finally contact your ex.
She will hear the confidence and self-assuredness in your voice and she will see it in your body language.
As a result, she will naturally and automatically feel a surge of respect for you for being man enough to handle the break up in such a mature and emotionally strong way.
Feeling respect and attraction causes her guard to come down a little bit, which then allows her to access deeper feelings of romantic and sexual attraction for you again.
When that happens, she naturally starts to feel like she loves you again and wants to be with you.
As a result, getting back together starts to feel like something she really wants to do.
2 Common Mistakes to Avoid Making on Day 1 of No Contact
There’s no point in doing all the good work mentioned above, if you then sabotage your progress with her by making some or all of the following mistakes:
1. Worrying that it’s over forever or that you have absolutely no chance of getting her back
Without a doubt, Day 1 of No Contact after a break up can be one of the most stressful, emotionally painful days in a man’s life.
A guy can drive himself crazy thinking about what happened, how he stuffed up and what his chances of getting his ex to give him another chance really are.
Unfortunately, if you don’t gain control over your mind and your emotions very quickly, it’s possible that you may start thinking things like, “What if she doesn’t forgive me? What if she never wants to talk to me again? What if she decides that it really is over and I lose her forever?”
Although these may seem like valid questions to you, it’s only going to make you feel more stressed and worried.
It can also get you into a frame of mind that will turn your ex off if you happen to talk to her or interact with her.
For example: If you don’t believe that you deserve to get a second chance with your ex, why should she?
Women don’t want to be with a guy who feels unworthy.
A woman wants a man who knows that he is good enough for her and who also knows how to make her feel the kind of respect and attraction she really wants.
So, you have to believe in yourself and you have to focus on improving your ability to make her feel attracted.
That is what really counts.
The less you believe in yourself, the more it will come across in your body language and in the tone of your voice when you interact with her.
She will pick up on it and feel turned off by your lack of belief in yourself and your cluelessness about how to make her feel sexually and romantically attracted again.
So, don’t rush to interact with her now if you aren’t thinking straight and have somehow convinced yourself that you’re not good enough for her.
You are good enough for her.
To make sure that she feels that when you interact with her, I recommend that you quickly level up your ability to make her feel sexual and romantic attraction during interactions.
For example: If you lost a lot of confidence near the end of the relationship and it really turned her off, you need to level that back up and beyond where it used to be.
Don’t worry – it’s easy to do.
Confidence is under your control and is based on how you think.
Your thoughts create your feelings, so if you get your thoughts right, the feelings will naturally follow.
So, stop worrying and start believing in yourself!
You can get her back.
That’s a fact.
Believing that you can get her back and that you do deserve another chance is so important.
So, believe in yourself!
Another mistake to avoid making is…
2. Worrying that she might go and hook up with another guy immediately
There’s no guarantee that she will remain faithful for even a minute after breaking up with you.
In many cases, it can happen very quickly if she has another guy lined up and waiting (e.g. a guy from work, a guy she met recently while out partying), or if she has a lot of single girlfriends who want to take her out and get her to meet new guys.
Some women do move on very quickly, whereas other women wait until they feel ready to get out there and start dating again, which is usually anywhere from a week to a month.
No guarantees though.
Her hooking up with a new guy could happen today, tomorrow or two months from now.
However, worrying about it isn’t going to stop her from doing it.
Instead, it’s probably just going to drive you crazy and make you react in ways that could push your ex into another guy’s arms even faster than she intended (e.g. you text her in a needy, desperate way).
So, what should you do?
If your gut instinct is telling you that she will move on instantly or very quickly, don’t give her more than 3 to 7 days of space before you start the ex back process.
Follow the steps outlined in this post and when you feel ready, call her on the phone, trigger her feelings for you (e.g. by making her laugh and smile, making her feel feminine in contrast to your emotional masculinity) and arrange to meet up with her in person.
At the meet up, continue to spark her feelings of respect and attraction for you and then confidently guide her back into a relationship with you.
You can do it!
- Day 1 of No Contact
- Day 2 of No Contact
- Day 3 of No Contact
- Day 4 of No Contact
- Day 5 of No Contact
- Day 6 of No Contact
- Day 7 of No Contact