7 things you should do on Day 4 of No Contact after being dumped by your woman who you want to get back:
1. Prepare yourself to contact her by refreshing your understanding of what it will take to make her feel attracted again
After 4 days of no contact, most guys feel ready to break the silence between them and their ex.
It’s okay to contact her at this point, but just make sure that you are fully ready to re-attract her and make her feel drawn to you as you talk to her and interact with her.
It’s very important that you prepare yourself to properly re-attract her when you contact her.
You need to be able to attract her in the ways that she really wants.
For example: Sometimes a guy will contact his woman after 4 days of no contact and break the ice by sending her flowers, dropping her an e-mail or text to tell her how sorry he is and how much he’s missed her, or some other gesture that he hopes she will see as being romantic.
Yet, what he doesn’t realize is that romance is only enjoyable to a woman if she has feelings for a man (i.e. she respects him, feels attracted to him and is either falling in love with him or is in love with him).
So, rather than be impress by his romantic gesture, she’s more likely to think something like, “I haven’t heard from him in 4 days and the first thing he does is to send me flowers/tell me that he misses me! I bet he’s hoping that just forget about all the mistakes he made in the relationship, forgive him and give him another chance. Well unfortunately for him, it’s going to take more than flowers or an apology to change how I feel about him right now.”
She then acts cold towards him or plays very hard to get if he tries to talk to her.
Remember: Romance is only enjoyable to a woman if she has feelings for a man (i.e. she respects him, feels attracted to him and is either falling in love with him or is in love with him).
So, rather than trying to use an approach (romance) that works when a woman is in love, you’ve got to use an approach that works on new women.
Literally think of your ex as a new woman that you are going to attract and hook up with.
That’s the secret.
Interact with her and make her feel truly attracted to who you are now.
Don’t try to sell yourself by telling her how much you’ve changed.
Let her experience it for herself as she interacts with you.
- Maintain your confidence if she tries to make you feel insecure when you call her (e.g. by being cold and unfriendly and saying things like, “What do you want? Why are you calling me?” or by blaming you for everything that happened between you).
- Use humor to make her laugh and smile and change her mood from closed off and cold, to happy and open. Don’t make the mistake of trying to impress her by being on your best behavior around her (e.g. being really nice, polite, considerate, patient). Be ballsy and confident and use humor to attract her, even if she pretends as though it’s not working. It will work. You just need to back it up with fearless confidence.
- Flirt with her and treat her like a desirable, sexually attractive woman, rather than pretending you don’t find her attractive anymore, only want to be nice friends or that you don’t want her back at all.
- Feel secure in your masculinity and don’t allow her to dominate you with her confident personality.
She will automatically sense the changes in you by listening to how you talk and observing your body language and actions.
Even if she tries to hide it or pretend that she’s not feeling it, she will be feeling it.
She will be feeling a renewed sense of respect and attraction for who you are now.
That’s how it is done.
It’s easy, natural and quick.
You don’t need to buy her flowers, grovel or put yourself at her mercy to re-attract her.
Instead, just let your behavior and actions show her that you’ve changed and have become a better man since the break up.
Another thing to do on Day 4 of No Contact is to…
2. Read through the list of your good qualities and remind yourself that you are a cool guy
Just because she left you, it doesn’t mean that you’re an unlovable guy.
Don’t think of yourself in that way.
If you made a list of all your good qualities (refer to Day 2 of No Contact), you will already know that you’re actually a pretty cool guy in many ways.
BTW: If you haven’t made that list yet, make sure you do it now.
Here are some examples of the things you might want to put on your list…
- I’m loyal and trustworthy.
- I’m a good friend.
- I’m focused and determined.
- I’m intelligent.
- I have a great job and I’m going places.
- I’m fun and adventurous.
- I get along well with other people.
- I have a great sense of humor.
- I’m generous.
- I can tell a lot about a person as soon as I meet them.
- I’m smart in many ways.
- I’m a great guy.
Nothing is too egotistical or insignificant to put on your list.
Note it all down.
Use it to feel good about yourself.
Remember: You are a good guy and this list is just about reminding you of all those great qualities you might be overlooking about yourself (especially if you still feel bad about the mistakes you made with your ex, or feel hurt that she dumped you and left you behind).
Read through your list and realize that pretty much any woman would be lucky to have a guy like you.
Another thing to do on Day 4 of No Contact is…
3. Read through the list of her good and bad qualities (that you wrote on Day 2 of No Contact) to remind yourself that she is not perfect
After reading through your list of good qualities, read the list of your ex’s bad (and good) qualities that you made earlier. Refer to Day 2 of No Contact.
By doing this, not only will you remind yourself that you are a good guy (even though you stuffed up), but that she’s not perfect either.
Again, if you haven’t made this list about your ex yet (e.g. because you didn’t want to admit to yourself that she made mistakes too, or because you couldn’t be bothered), now is the time to do so.
You can make the list on your smartphone, tablet, computer or on a piece of paper.
Whatever works best for you.
For example: A list about your ex might look something like this:
|She is a nice person.
|She has a bad temper.
|She has a good sense of humor.
|She parties too much.
|She is a good cook.
|She doesn’t clean up after herself.
|She gets along well with my friends.
|She spends too much time on social media.
|She is selfish.
The more that you can see for yourself that she’s not perfect, the more you will be able to forgive yourself for the mistakes you made.
You will also feel worthy of being forgiven by her, because you won’t feel as though you’re the only one who made mistakes in the relationship.
Yes, she dumped you and she doesn’t want to hear, “But, you made mistakes too” now and that’s fine.
You shouldn’t go to her and say something like that.
Instead, you should use the knowledge of her not being perfect as a way to forgive yourself and feel worthy of her again.
That’s the reason behind doing this.
It’s about you getting back to a point where you are emotionally attractive to her again (i.e. confident, self-assured, happy, emotionally strong), rather than approaching her and turning her off with insecurity, desperation, anger or frustration.
Remember: Successful couples who stay together for life, understand that no one is perfect and that mistakes, arguments and even mini break ups will sometimes happen.
As long as they can forgive each other and if the person who messed up puts in the effort to learn from his (or her) mistakes and become a better person, then the love, respect and attraction between them will grow and deepen over time.
The relationship can then last for a lifetime.
Watch this for more info…
The next step you need to take is to…
4. Try to call her and if she doesn’t answer, send her a text
If you are ready to contact her by Day 4, then go ahead and do it.
If not, then continue preparing yourself to re-attract her when you do contact her after Day 7 of No Contact.
By the way…
It’s always best to talk to your ex on the phone, so you can make her laugh and smile and feel happy to be hearing from you again.
However, that’s not always possible.
Sometimes a woman will refuse to answer the phone when she sees that it’s her ex who is calling.
So, if your ex is refusing to take your calls, here’s an example of what to do to make sure that she will answer her phone the next time you call her:
- Try to call her at a time when you know she’s most likely to be available to answer.
- If she doesn’t answer, send her this text: “Hey Laura. I’m trying to get in touch with you to ask you something quick over the phone, but I haven’t been able to reach you. It’s not serious, but I do need to talk to you on the phone quickly. I’ll give you a call tonight after work at about 6PM so that we can talk.”
- She might then reply with something along the lines of, “Sorry I missed your call – I was busy. What do you want to ask me?” or “I’ve got plans for tonight. Ask me now.”
Regardless of how she responds, don’t make the mistake of thinking, “Oh good! She’s replying!” and then start texting back and forth with her.
No, no, no.
Instead, make sure that you…
5. Get to a phone call
If your ex doesn’t respond to your text at all, just call her at the time you said you would (e.g. 6PM).
In most cases, a woman will be curious about what you want to ask her and will answer her phone.
If she doesn’t answer, don’t text her again.
Instead, simply try to call her again after a day or two.
If she still doesn’t answer, then text her a message saying this: “Tried calling you the other day at 6PM like I said I would, but couldn’t get through! 🙂 I don’t want to be a nag about this, but I really do need to ask you something over the phone. I will try again tonight at the same time. I promise, it’s just a quick call to ask you a simple question. You can hang up the phone if you want to after that.”
By this stage, her curiosity will likely get the better of her and she will want to find out what you want to ask her.
She might then send you a message asking, “Why don’t you just ask me what you want now?”
Whatever you do though, don’t fall into the trap of giving her an explanation via text.
Instead, just text her back and say, “What I need to ask is better done over the phone. I’ll call you at 6.”
Then call her at the suggested time and…
6. Re-attract her on the phone call
When you get her on the phone, focus on getting rid of any awkward tension by using some humor to get her smiling, laughing and feeling good to be talking to you again.
For example: Imagine she picks up the phone and says something along the lines of, “Okay, I’ve answered the phone. So what do you want to ask? Make it quick because I have other plans.”
Rather than be put off by her cold and unfriendly manner, use it as an opportunity to make her feel attracted instead.
You can do that by maintaining your confidence and saying in a joking way, “Then I guess babysitting my pet Iguana tonight is out of the question then?” and have a laugh with her about that.
Remember: WHAT you say is not as important as HOW you say it.
If you remain calm, confident and relaxed when saying whatever you say, she will naturally feel some respect for you.
Then, when you also make her laugh and feel relaxed to be talking to you again (i.e. because you’re not being needy, insecure or nervous on the phone with her), her guard will naturally start to come down.
When that happens…
7. Attempt to get a meet up
This is the “something quick” that you wanted to ask her.
You want to get her to meet up with you in person.
So, after a bit more lighthearted conversation where you continue re-attracting her (e.g. by using humor to melt her defenses and letting her experience the new, improved version of you), ask her to meet up with you in person.
For example: You can say, “Hey, it’s been great talking again. It’s good to see that we can still have a laugh together even though we’re broken up. Anyway, so what I wanted to ask you this: Let’s catch up for a 10 minute coffee to say hello as friends. Of course, it’s not about us getting back together. It’s just a catch up to say hello. We’re mature enough to do that, don’t you agree?”
If you’ve created enough feelings of respect and attraction inside of her during the phone call (i.e. by being confident, using humor), she will likely say “Yes,” and agree to catch up with you.
However, don’t be disheartened if she’s a bit resistant at first.
Most women usually are resistant to begin with, because they don’t want to come across as being too easy, or are afraid of getting hurt again (e.g. you get her to meet up with you, get her back and then dump her after having sex with her again, or after making her fall in love with you again).
Whatever the case, just maintain your confidence and say something along the lines of, “Hey, it’s just a quick cup of coffee between two friends. No strings attached. After the meet up, if you decide that you never want to see me again, I promise to respect your wishes and completely leave you alone and never contact you again. So, how about it?”
She will then likely say “Yes,” and you can go ahead and make plans to meet at a time that suits you both.
Note: At the meet up, you need to make her feel sexually and romantically attracted to you again.
Don’t meet up with her and just have a nice, friendly chat.
No, no, no!
That doesn’t work in almost all cases.
You’ve got to turn on the charm and make her feel very attracted to you.
If you do that, she will naturally begin to open up and you will get her back quite easily.
- Day 1 of No Contact
- Day 2 of No Contact
- Day 3 of No Contact
- Day 4 of No Contact
- Day 5 of No Contact
- Day 6 of No Contact
- Day 7 of No Contact
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