People usually like people who are like them, so if people don’t currently like you, it means that they currently don’t feel as though you are enough like them.
For example: If you find that the “cool crowd” doesn’t like you, then you’re probably doubting yourself around them and feeling like you’re not good enough. That isn’t how the cool crowd thinks about themselves, so you are not matching up.
If you want to be like them, you have to believe in yourself and feel as though you ARE good enough…even if you currently think that you’re not.
From now on, you will notice that the real “cool crowd” (not the people who hang around them) are the ones who believe in themselves and think that they are worthy of attention, interest and admiration from others.
You might also notice that people from the cool crowd aren’t even that special, intelligent, good looking or talented, but most people really like them.
A big part of their appeal is that they believe in themselves and present a confident, more charismatic personality compared to people who don’t believe in themselves and therefore present a tense, stifled personality.
Trying Too Hard to Be Liked
Guys who find it hard to make friends often feel a bit isolated in life and left out of all the fun, sex, love and good times that others are enjoying.
For some guys, the efforts they make to “join in” and to be more sociable don’t seem to get them the results they want and they find themselves asking, “How do I get people to like me?”
When this is the case, the mistake many guys make is to then try harder to be liked, but, in trying too hard, they actually make themselves more unpopular. When a guy behaves in a way that makes him come across as feeling desperate to be liked, he makes himself someone that other people feel awkward around and therefore try to avoid.
There’s nothing wrong with putting in some effort to be a likeable person, but if you want to get people to like you, the main thing that you have to do is believe that you are already likeable.
If you don’t have that belief in yourself, then you will be suppressing your natural charisma and people will find it difficult to relax and feel comfortable around you. They will sense that something isn’t quite right with you and that you need them to give you more compliments, nice treatment, etc to make yourself feel worthy.
Don’t do that.
You’ve got to take the pressure off other people by deciding yourself that you ARE worthy and that you are good enough. Don’t expect people to want to lift you up and stroke you emotionally.
Some people might do that for a while, but if they feel as though you need more of that than they are prepared to offer, they won’t like being around you because it will be too much of a burden.
Being Super Nice
As a boy, you probably got the advice of “Be nice and people will like you.” You may have also been given treats, kisses, hugs and pats on the head when you were a good little boy.
Yet, now that you’ve grown up, you may have noticed that people no longer reward you with love, affection and preferential treatment for being nice. In fact, some people take advantage of how nice you are and you then end up feeling pissed off at them and the world for not treating you the way that you deserve to be treated.
Welcome to adulthood.
As a man, if you want people to treat you nicely, you have to be the sort of guy that they look up to and respect, not a super nice guy that they can walk all over and disrespect.
This doesn’t mean that you need to be a bad person at all. Instead, you just need to be a good guy with balls. In other words, a good guy alpha male.
Think about the guys that you look up to and respect the most and they will most likely be much more alpha than you. If you really admire them, they will also be good guys. So, don’t make the mistake of thinking that not being super nice means that you have to be super bad.
There is a middle ground and that is what we (at The Modern Man) refer to as being a good guy alpha male. This is where you continue being the good guy that you are, but you don’t let people push you around. You command respect, but you do so in an easy-going manner.
Being too nice to people (in an effort to be liked) often results in you being disrespected, taken advantage of and overlooked. It also often results in horrible rejections from women and here is why…
As you will discover from the video above, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a nice person, but if you want to avoid being rejected by women, you must start out an interaction by making her feel attracted to you.
Do you have the skill of being able to attract women when you interact with them? Watch this video to find out…
The next mistake is…
Being an Errand Boy
Some guys try to get people to like them by doing favors, running errands, paying for their food or drinks when out partying, helping them with their work, etc.
A guy like that thinks that by always being available to do stuff for people, they will like him more, but it’s much more likely that they’ll simply take advantage of his desperation to be liked and use him as an “errand boy” without giving his feelings a second thought.
Some people will appreciate it and won’t take advantage of him, but those people are few and far in between. The majority of “friends” that an errand boy will attract are going to be users who don’t really care how they make him feel.
Placing Yourself Below Others
In life, you don’t get treated better, score hotter women and get promoted by bowing at the feet of people who don’t deserve it.
If you want to be liked and respected, you have to have a much higher opinion of yourself than you have right now. It’s not about being arrogant and thinking that everyone else is beneath you, but instead it’s about seeing yourself as an equal.
Some people like having “ass kissing” guys hanging around because they can use his interest in them to make themselves feel better. However, those people aren’t going to be your true friend.
If you want to get people to like you, respect you and love you for who you are, then you have to begin by liking yourself, respecting yourself and loving yourself for who you are.
Don’t place yourself below people and assume that they will saw, “Awww…you’re so pitiful and meek, come here and be my friend. You can hang out with me and all the other cool people because you’re such a little weakling. Come here and sit on my lap.”
You’re a man now, so you need to act like one. A big part of being a man that people respect, like, admire and want to be friends with is believing in yourself.
Most people will only believe in you if you believe in yourself. They won’t give you that belief – you have to take it and own it. It’s yours and you have to build it up, protect it and keep adding to it throughout your life.