To be considered as a cool man, you should aim to:
1. Be a man of purpose
If a guy isn’t on a mission in life and is simply wandering through life, wasting time and not really know what he should be doing with his life, he will come across as being uncool.
A cool man is a man who has important things to do. He has big dreams and ambitions and is following through on them to make it happen.
As a result, a cool man isn’t going to waste time calling friends over and over again, to hopefully get to hang out with them.
If a cool man wants to arrange a dinner or drinks for some of his friends to catch up, he will call or text them to let them know, but he’s not going to waste time chasing people who don’t reply.
His sense of identity and happiness isn’t based on one particular friend attending drinks or dinner with him. He has much more important things to focus on.
If that friend doesn’t call back or come along, it is their loss, not his. They missed out on hanging out with a cool man who is living life with purpose.
However, if he were to hound that friend with calls and essentially beg for them to come (so he didn’t feel lonely, or like his life wasn’t worth anything because that person didn’t like him), then he’s not going to be seen as a cool man.
He’s going to be seen as a yet another lost guy who is basing his sense of identity and feelings of happiness on random friends that may not even be a part of his life forever.
The thing that lasts forever (or at least for a very long time), is your humungous sense of purpose.
Think about where you are heading with your life. Are you on a path that is leading you to fulfill your ultimate dreams? If not, get on it.
Are you reaching for your true potential as a man, or just hiding away behind pointless hobbies, TV shows and a job that you hate? Get on purpose.
Do what you know that you should be doing with your life. What is that? It’s the thing that you really want to do, but you think you might not be able to achieve.
It’s the thing that you can see yourself happily doing for the rest of your life if you have to.
When you are the type of man who has important things to do, you’re naturally not going to be as available and emotionally needy or insecure as a guy who has nothing important to work on.
If you want to be a cool man, the number one thing you need to do is get on purpose. Work out what your purpose is and begin to fearlessly walk the path all the way to success.
Yes, there will be obstacles along the way (there always are when you are trying to achieve something big), but if you are sure that it’s your purpose and you are determined to make it reality, you won’t give up.
You will keep pushing forward when things get challenging, which will be yet another thing about you that people see as being cool and admirable.
2. Be wise
Wise men are usually seen as being a lot cooler than clueless men.
When you know things about life, women, spirituality and success that other people don’t know, it makes them feel drawn to you.
This life is confusing, weird and mind-boggling at times, so people tend to gravitate towards those who have a better handle on reality than they do.
People want to be able to get the guidance and wisdom of a friend who can steer them onto a better path that will lead to happiness, fulfillment, enlightenment and success.
Be wiser and you will be cooler.
3. Have a hot girlfriend or wife
Okay, so some people might think this one is shallow, but it’s true.
Guys with hot girlfriends are usually seen as cooler than guys with ugly girlfriends.
Can’t get a hot girlfriend? Watch this video…
4. Make people see the funny side of life
Using humor is not only a great way to make others see you as a cool man, but it’s also good medicine for you too.
Laughing makes you feel good…and there’s nothing wrong with that.
A lot of intelligent guys want to showcase their intelligence when talking to people, so they avoid using humor and tend to stick to topics of conversation that reveal how smart they are.
Yet, being book smart is not the only type of intelligence that people value. What about social intelligence, emotional intelligence and spiritual intelligence?
These are different areas of intelligence that allow a man to be more wholesome, well-rounded and cooler as a result.
It takes a certain amount of social intelligence to be able to use humor in a way that most people like.
Watch this video for some examples…
As you will discover from the video above, the type of humor that I teach here at The Modern Man is the humor that talk show hosts use.
Talk show hosts need to be liked (and seen as cool) by the majority of people, so it’s not a coincidence that they use that type of humor.
Of course, you might hate some of the talk show hosts that I mention in the video, but the fact is that the majority of the population likes them and sees them as being cool.
You don’t have to act like a talk show host to be seen as a cool. The point is that there is a certain type of humor that most people see as being cool and if you want to be considered to be a cool man by most people you meet, you should consider trying it out and seeing how it feels.
5. Don’t force people to focus on your weaknesses
As a man, there’s nothing wrong with having a weakness in a certain area (e.g. you are afraid of approaching women), as long as you are fixing it.
If you want to be seen as a cool man, don’t go around telling everyone about your weaknesses and expecting them to like you because you’re so vulnerable.
It’s fine for women to do that (because we men don’t select women on how emotionally strong and tough they are), but it’s not fine for men to do it.
As a man, you need to be strong. If you have a weakness or a problem, get on it and get it fixed.
While you are getting it fixed, make sure that you present the positive, strong parts of your personality because that it what will attract women to you and make others see you as being cool.
You’re not going to get any cool points for saying, “I’m scared of approaching women” to attractive women or confident guys. They will usually just make you the butt of their jokes and use your weakness as something to pick on.
If you’re afraid of approaching women (for example), just work on getting it fixed and then, when you are the type of guy who can confidently approach women, it will be yet another thing about you that people think is cool.
By the way…
If you need to build up your confidence to approach women, watch this video…
As you will discover from the video above, the guys who are afraid to approach women aren’t seen as cool men.
When you see a guy who has the confidence to approach and attract women, you most-likely wish you could be his friend or be like him. In other words, you think he is cool.
As a man, if you want people to see you as being cool, it’s important that you sort out your issues with approaching and attracting women. Guys who are good with women are usually (not always, e.g. if they are an asshole or jerk) seen as being cool.
How to Be a Cool Man: Where Guys Go Wrong
To understand how to be a cool man, you first have to understand what makes a guy seem cool or uncool.
For example: If you met a guy who displayed the following characteristics, what would you think of him?
1. He lacks social confidence
He is nervous, insecure and he thinks that everyone he talks to (especially women) is better than him.
Would you think he is cool, or would you feel sorry for him and see him as a bit of a social loser?
If he became more confident around people, would you think he is cooler? If you immediately answered, “Yes” then you know that social confidence is an important part of being cool.
Some guys might think about it for a bit and want to answer, “No…a guy doesn’t have to be socially confident to be cool” but just think about the guys that you admire and look up to.
They are most-likely more socially confident than you are.
No matter how a guy tries to reason with this issue, the fact is that the majority of people instinctively label socially confident guys as being cooler than insecure guys.
2. He is a defeatist
Defeatist (noun): A person who expects or is excessively ready to accept failure.
Everything that he does seems to end badly; usually because he gives up too quickly as a result of his defeatist attitude.
He has low self-esteem and doesn’t believe in himself or his abilities. He’s always got an excuse to tell his friends or others, “Other people can do it, but not me.”
4. He is a complainer or a whiner
This guy will find fault with everything.
Nothing ever seems to make him happy and he will blame others for his failures and for his inability to be cool or to be successful in life.
It’s those damn politicians, it’s the voting committee, it’s the corporations, it’s the legal system, it’s genetics, or whatever else he can think of to blame for his shortcomings.
I used to have a friend who would say things like, “Our society is screwed up man. There’s no room on this planet for a genius guy like me…they don’t get me…the idiots…I hate this world…bunch of idiots who have no clue what life is really about.”
Unfortunately, he is still negative like that to this day. It should be no surprise to tell you that he is still horribly unsuccessful in life.
He complains about the government being hopeless and ruining everything for him. I said to him, “Man, if you’re so pissed off with the government and you think you’re smarter than everyone else….go and become a politician, or shut up.”
He refused to shut up, so I refused to hang out with him any longer. I definitely don’t label him as being a cool man. I simply feel sorry for him.
5. He lacks social intelligence
When a guy like this finds himself socializing with others, especially women and the “cool crowd,” he seems out of sync with everyone.
He tries hard to fit in, but something is off. He might be an incredibly intelligent guy academically, but he has neglected the need to improve his social intelligence and is suffering a lonely, awkward life as a result.
6. He is hiding from his true potential in life
He knows that hiding behind TV shows, food, porn and other things doesn’t make him a cool man and that he’s being a chicken about it, but he just can’t get over his fears.
He avoids being a forward thinker or follow through on big, ambitious goals because he knows that if he does he will actually have to do something about it and he’s either too lazy or afraid to follow through.
Think about the men that you see as being cool in this world. They are almost certainly rising through the levels of their true potential as a man. They are not going to be hiding away behind TV, porn, food, alcohol and useless hobbies so they can waste more precious years of their life.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with watching TV, porn, eating comfort food, having a drink or trying things out in life, but if you aren’t moving forward, full steam ahead towards your biggest goals and ambitions in life, then you’re probably not going to be seen as a cool man by others.
7. He is a slave to the latest fashion trends, but no matter what he wears, he never feels good enough around the “cool crowd”
He will go out and buy whatever is deemed to be the latest trend in clothing, accessories and gadgets. Yet, he will stand out in a negative way because everything about him says that he is trying too hard to be liked for things that have nothing to do with him.
It’s who you are as a man on the inside that counts the most. In other words, are you socially confident, are you a man of purpose, are you socially intelligent, are you enlightened and are you wise?
8. He tries way too hard to impress others.
He will tell the wildest stories (and exaggerate them to hopefully get people to like him), agree to do things that he doesn’t want to do and even support something he secretly feels opposed to; all in an attempt to impress others and to be liked and accepted.
9. He is not successful with women
He doesn’t have a clue how to approach a woman and make her feel attracted and simply looks on at women and hopes that, one day, a woman might be so kind enough to give him a chance. He has no idea on how to get a woman feeling turned on by triggering her attraction in an authentic, masculine way.
When talks to beautiful women, he acts like a much nicer than he actually is (in the hope that it will make women “like” him and give him a chance) and pretends to just want to be friends and talk to her.
When in a relationship, he becomes insecure, clingy or jealous and ruins his girlfriend’s respect and attraction for him. He might also be a bit too neutral around his girlfriend (fiancé or wife) and end up turning the relationship into a sexless friendship, rather than being a couple who are attracted to each other and excited about being in love.
After reading through all the negative qualities listed above, would you consider a guy like that to be cool or uncool?
You might feel sorry for him (I certainly do), but you’re probably not going to look at him as being a cool man like a guy who has the opposite qualities.
For example: If a man displays the following characteristics, would you consider him to be a cool man?
- He is comfortable and at ease.
- He is confident and self-assured.
- He is mentally and emotionally strong.
- He is socially intelligent.
- He is not trying hard to be cool or fit in because he knows that he’s already good enough.
- He is masculine in his behavior, actions and thinking rather than being neutral (i.e. like a dull, boring guy who suppresses his personality) or feminine (i.e. like a guy who acts girly to hopefully fit in with women).
- He is easy going and relaxed.
- He stands up for himself, for others and for what he believes in, while also being respectful to those he is standing up to.
- He is a forward thinker who has goals and ambitions that he is working towards.
- He is successful with women because he knows how to make them feel attracted to his personality and confidence.
- He is charismatic.
See the difference?
Which guy would you rather be?
The guy who lacks confidence, social intelligence and isn’t good with women, or the confident, socially intelligent guy who is not only good with women, but is also pushing forward to reach his true potential as a man in life?
When it comes to the topic of how to be a cool man, it really all comes down to how you think, behave and take action in life.
It’s very easy to complain, feel negative and feel like you’re just never going to be good enough, but a cool man doesn’t waste with that.
Instead, a cool man knows what he wants and then goes after it with unrelenting confidence and determination.
No matter how challenging life gets, the coolest of men are those who can remain standing and push on to victory.
What are you current goals in life right now? Are you pushing forward to achieve them with unrelenting confidence and determination, or are you hiding behind porn, TV and other things to distract yourself and waste more of your precious lifetime?