Have you ever found that when you’re around girls that you’re not attracted to, or you’re not trying to pick up, that you can relax and be yourself?
You’re at ease and you’re not worrying about whether or not the girl likes you because you’re not trying to get her to like you.
Yet, if you’re around a girl that you really like and you want to attract her so you can hook up with her sexually, or have her as your girlfriend, then suddenly you start behaving like a nervous or awkward version of yourself.
You know that you could be a lot cooler, more confident and relaxed around her, but you can’t seem to do it.
You feel tense and doubt that she would like you for you.
So, you might then start being nicer than you normally are, or more polite than you normally are or want to be, which ends up making you come across as awkward to her.
Something just doesn’t feel right, so her guard goes up.
Why does this tend to happen the most around girls that you really like?
One of the main reasons why it happens is when a guy suppresses his emotions and expressions around the girl that he likes.
This means that a guy will suppress or hide how he feels about things and as a result, his body language, behavior and conversation will feel awkward to him and to the girl.
She will sense that he is hiding how he feels about things and trying to behave in a way that he hopes she will like.
Yet, it just won’t feel right for either of them.
As a result, they will find it difficult to connect with each other or to have an interaction that flows naturally and leads to kissing, sex and a relationship.
So essentially if you want to stop being awkward around girls that you really like, then you have to let your real mood flow rather than hiding it, rather than suppressing your emotion.
What are some examples of suppressing emotions or hiding feelings when talking to a girl?
1. Feeling nervous and then trying to hide it by being quiet or unexpressive
If a guy is talking to a girl that he really likes and he is feeling nervous, he might go into a shell and not be as talkative or as expressive as he normally would be around friends for example.
As a result, the conversation won’t flow smoothly and the interaction will start to feel a bit awkward and forced.
They won’t be connecting as well as they could be.
An insecure girl might then wonder if the guy finds her attractive or not, or if he actually has a real interest in her.
She may assume that he doesn’t feel enough attraction for her and as a result, he just can’t really get into the conversation.
He doesn’t feel motivated because there isn’t enough of a spark between them.
Yet, for the most part, girls will notice that the guy is being awkward and they’ll then put two and two together to realize that he’s probably feeling nervous and unsure of himself and that’s going to turn the girl off.
Most attractive girls don’t want to be with a guy who is intimidated by them and is going to be really nervous when kissing them, having sex with them or meeting their friends and family and so on.
Most attractive girls want to be able to get themselves a confident guy.
So, what can a guy do instead of being quiet and starting to be unexpressive when he feels nervous around a girl that he likes?
Well, what you need to understand is that you’re going to look more confident to her and you’re going to be more attractive and appealing as a result, if you just go with the flow of the conversation while feeling a bit of nervousness on the inside, versus you trying to hide your nervousness around her by becoming quiet and unexpressive.
When you allow yourself to just go with the flow of the conversation when talking to a girl that you like, while feeling a bit nervous on the inside, you’ll notice that girls feel more attracted to you.
They’re more interested and conversations continue.
As a result, you’ll start to believe in yourself and your ability to go with the flow of a conversation and as a result, that nervousness that you used to feel on the inside that then caused you to behave in awkward ways will start to wither away.
You’ll start to be able to talk to girls in a confident manner.
You’ll be able to express who you really are and you won’t feel nervousness on the inside.
The next example of hiding how you feel or suppressing your emotions is…
2. Only saying what you think she wants to hear, rather than saying what you really want to say
For example: A guy is talking to a girl that he likes and she asks him the question, “So, have you seen any good movies lately?”
Now, he hasn’t seen any good movies lately.
In fact, he has gone to some movies with a friend and he’s been quite disappointed with the movies that he’s seen.
He usually loves movies, but he hasn’t seen any good ones lately.
Yet, when she asks him the question, “So, have you seen any good movies lately?” he doesn’t want to give a negative response.
He just wants to appear as though he’s happy and positive about everything.
He doesn’t want to seem like a negative type of guy.
Yet, what he doesn’t realize is that girls and people, in general, prefer people who are REAL.
It’s not about being negative all the time or positive all the time, but it’s about being real.
So, rather than being real and saying something like this, “No, I haven’t seen any good ones lately. You know, I usually love movies, but lately they’ve been kind of boring. What movies have you seen?” he says something like this, “Um, yeah, yeah. I’ve seen a few movies. Yeah, they’ve been quite good.”
Then the girl asks him which movie he saw.
He then tells her and she said that movie sucked.
He then says something like this, “Oh yeah, yeah. I mean it wasn’t that good. It was alright.”
She then feels turned off by the fact that he isn’t being real with her and he is changing his opinion on the fly based on what she is saying.
He doesn’t have the confidence to just tell her for real that he hasn’t seen any good movies lately.
He thinks that he needs to put on an act for her and pretend to be this super positive guy all the time.
Everything’s great in his life.
He goes and sees a movie, they’re all great.
He goes here or there, that’s great.
No, some places are great, some places suck, some places are okay.
Some movies are great, some movies suck, some are okay.
That’s reality and you have to let your real mood flow if you want to avoid being awkward around girls that you like.
The same rule applies if a girl asks you whether or not you’ve seen any good movies lately and you have.
The thing is, sometimes a guy will have seen a great movie, but he won’t want to answer with too much emotion or enthusiasm because he thinks that it may make him seem uncool, like he’s so into a particular movie and maybe the girl will think that he doesn’t have much going on in his life and that’s why he’s so enthusiastic about a movie, but that is overthinking it.
You just need to express some emotion and be real.
For example: If you had seen a great movie lately, you can say something like this, “Yeah, you know what, I have. Last week, I went to see a movie with a friend and it was one of those movies that is so intense and draws you in that when you leave the cinema afterwards, you walk out and you’re like, “Oh, I forgot that the world was like this.” You know? You get so drawn into that particular movie that it pretty much changes your perception during that time. It was pretty intense.”
Another example is to say something like this: “Yeah, I saw a really good movie last week, one of the best I’ve seen in ages.”
In both of those examples, the girl is almost certainly going to ask you what the movie was and you can then tell her.
It doesn’t need to be an overly enthusiastic and serious conversation about the movie, but it can be if you want to.
What is your real mood about the movie?
What do you really feel about it?
Did you really like the movie?
Do you want to talk about a particular scene, or a particular plot twist or whatever?
Then talk about that.
Say what you really want to say, rather than just saying what you think she wants to hear.
The third example of hiding emotions or suppressing feelings when talking to a girl that you like is…
3. Not reacting to her with genuine emotion
For example: A guy is talking to a girl that he likes and she is in a bit of a silly mood.
She’s saying silly things and behaving in silly ways, but he doesn’t say anything about it.
He doesn’t really react to it.
He stays pretty much unexpressive and he sort of acts like it’s not happening.
He doesn’t really know how to deal with it and he doesn’t really want to deal with it because he is worried that if he says something about it or if he reacts to it, she might decide not to hang out with him.
Then he won’t get to spend any time with her.
So, he just remains fairly unexpressive.
Yet, the girl knows that if she was around a confident guy who believed in himself and wasn’t on his best behavior trying to impress her, then he would say something about it, or at least react to her silly behavior with his body language.
Additionally, he might even playfully say something like this to her (in a confident, but playful way), “Look at you. You can’t sit still for a second. How many Red Bulls have you had, huh? Calm down for a second, girl.”
Or something like this, “Well, someone’s a little ball of energy today, aren’t they? You’re full of energy. I like it.”
Essentially, what you have to understand is that when you’re around a girl that you like, you don’t have to be perfect.
You can be positive about things.
You can be neutral about things.
You can be negative about some things and so on.
Of course, you don’t want to focus on the negative and be a downer around a girl that you like, but you have to feel free to be your real self around her.
If you try to hide how you really feel about something, then you’re not going to be happy with yourself.
You’re not going to feel good about yourself and she is going to sense that you’re not being your real self around her.
She’s not getting to know the real you and as a result, it’s difficult to connect with you.
The thing is you’re most likely a cool, interesting guy deep down, but you have to let that come to the surface and then let that flow from you.
Yes, you might make some mistakes when you start to be more real around girls that you like, but as you do it, you will find your real self and you’ll be able to express your real self not only when you’re interacting with girls that you really like, but with people in general.
What you’ll find is that people like you so much more, they’re so much more attracted to you and drawn to you because they can see and they can sense that they’re interacting with the real version of you.
Want to Learn More?
Okay, I hope you enjoyed this video and learned something from it.
If you are one of the guys who find it difficult to be confident around girls that you like, make them feel attracted, keep conversations going and take things to the next level such as kissing and sex, then I recommend that you read my eBook, The Flow, or listen to the audiobook version, The Flow on Audio.
When you use The Flow techniques, your interactions with girls quickly flow from one step to the next.
The Flow is the easiest way to get laid or get a girlfriend.
Women Want the Real You
One final point that I want to make for you in this video, is that if a girl feels like she is responsible for you feeling nervous and tense around her, she will usually want to end the interaction rather than continuing to make you feel that way.
The thing is, you and her could have been a great match and a relationship between you and her could have been amazing, but if you cause yourself to feel awkward around her by suppressing your emotions and not letting your real mood flow, then it’s going to be difficult for you and her to truly connect with each other.
It’s also going to be difficult for her to feel enough attraction for you because most girls just don’t want to be with a guy who is very nervous and unsure of himself around her.
When you feel free to express positive, neutral and negative emotions when interacting with a girl that you like, not only do you feel better because you’re being your real self, but you also feel happy about the fact that she likes you for you.
She also feels great that she’s connecting with the real you.
She can sense that you’re being real with her.
You have the confidence to be your real self around her and who you really are is interesting and appealing to her.