How you conduct yourself on the first date will determine whether or not you get a second one.
If you really want to keep seeing this woman that you’ve worked so hard to find, here are the top 10 things not to do on your first date…
10. Put on an act
Many men will acquire the skills to attract a woman, but then screw things up by trying to be someone they’re not on the date. They’ll act richer, cooler, more ambitious, more rebellious or anything else they think will impress the woman.
Don’t put on an act. Simply be the same guy she was first attracted to when you asked her out on a date. Not only can most women see right through the act, but you’ll lose her trust early on, which will destroy the foundation of your budding relationship.
9. Discuss past relationships
Yes, you have a past and so does she, but a first date is not the time to talk about or complain about your ex. Right now she is living in a fairy tale (that line is very important. I recommend you read it again. She is living in a fairy tale with you) where she’s met her potential prince.
If you want to drown her dreams immediately, start trash-talking your ex. Not only will that remind her of your love for previous women, but it will show her how you might behave if you and her broke up.
If she asks you about your past girlfriends just say (in a friendly manner), “Yeah, we’ve all had previous relationships. Personally, I’d rather enjoy this time with you now instead of talking about other women…wouldn’t you?”
8. Use the “You remind me of…” line
Women like to feel as if they are unique and special to you. If you tell her that she reminds you of woman you liked but never got to have a relationship with, it can set off alarm bells in her mind. She’ll think that you obviously still like the woman and given the chance, would probably leave her for the woman you couldn’t score with.
Another bad idea is to compare her to your mother, sister, aunt, or, worse, your ex. No matter how much it was meant as a compliment, it’s going to turn her off.
7. Drink too much
You may be tempted to down an extra glass or two (or more) of alcohol to calm your nerves when you’re on a first date, but the more you drink the greater your chances are of doing or saying something stupid that insults your date or makes you look foolish.
The only exception is if you’re both having plenty of drinks together. In those cases, enjoy the drinks but make sure you’re still sober enough to perform your duties later on.
6. Forget to look your best
You don’t have to wear a tuxedo or a suit (unless your planned date calls for it), but you should put in some effort to look good. There is a fine-line here: We’re not recommending you care ‘too much’ about your appearance, but at least respect yourself by presenting yourself well.
Dress appropriately for the occasion, even if it’s just a casual date. She will undoubtedly go to a lot of trouble to look nice for you. The least you can do is return the favor by being properly groomed and wearing nice enough clothes.
5. Show up too late or too early
If you make the date for a set time, make sure you are on time. Arriving late (especially if you don’t call to say you’re delayed) is rude.
Picking up from her place: Arriving too early will not only make you appear over-anxious, you’ll likely catch her unprepared if you’re picking up from her home. If you arrive earlier than you planned, wait until your scheduled arrival time before you knock on her door.
Meeting her somewhere: Walk into the venue on time, not a minute later. Walk up to her in a confident, relaxed manner and with a smile, ask her she is doing and tell her how great she looks.
4. Stick to boring, polite conversation
When you’re on a first date, it’s not unusual to experience a few silences where either of you don’t know what to say next.
If you are worried about awkward silences or pauses, you might want to go to the date prepared to talk about a funny current event (not boring political or negative stuff), a cool new movie, TV show or a similar topic that will keep the conversation moving along or bring it back to life if it dies.
If you are stuck for something to say, the best option is almost always to get her to talk about herself and things she’s passionate about. People love to talk about themselves when a great listener is present.
3. Talking on your phone for too long
Unless it’s a matter of life or death, there’s no reason to have a call interfere with your date…and that means no texting either. Your only focus should be on your date. If you need to keep your phone on and it happens to ring, check who is calling and if it’s not an emergency, hit the ‘end call’ button and ignore it. If it is one of your close friends, feel free to answer it, say hello and let them know that you’ll back a little later.
2. Forget to listen
A lot of guys make the mistake of trying too hard to come up with things to say, when if they listened to the woman and expanded on her conversation – they’d never run out of things to say. Check out this article to learn 3 ways to keep a conversation going.
If she’s talking and you’re really listening, you’ll always find an opportunity to comment on something she’s said. The conversation will flow easily and naturally and you won’t run out of things to talk about with her.
1. Make a big deal out of who pays the bill
Our golden rule for paying the tab is: If you’re going to date her again, pick up the tab and tell her she can get it next time. If you know you won’t be seeing her again, split the bill.
However, don’t make the mistake of letting the check sit on the table for a prolonged period of time. It creates an unnecessary awkwardness where she feels unsure if you’re expecting her to split the tab with you, or whether you’re waiting for her to pick up the bill.
If you think that by picking up the check too fast you’ll look as if you’re trying to end the date too quickly, simply move the check next to you so she can see that you plan to pay the bill. Then continue on with your conversation.
By avoiding these first date mistakes, you can look forward to more dates or a great relationship with the woman you’ve chosen.
Want to Know the SECRET to Success With Women?
Watch this hidden video where Dan exposes his BIGGEST secret to success with women, which allows you to easily get laid or get a girlfriend.
This video is only available here and you can watch it for free right now.
I hate when people bring up their past relationships when I’m on a date with them. That’s my number one dating pet peeve.
These tips are really helpful to get a second date with same woman.
First of all, make sure the date will be something you will enjoy. It helps to take some of the pressure off yourself “to perform” and decide that you are just going to be yourself. If you decide you are going to have a good time, then you probably will.
Really great tips! Just be yourself, be respectful and listen to what she has to say. You don’t need to show off, or act tough. She will like you more if your genuine.
lol… the make a big deal out of who pays the bill is funny. For me, I have been taught that whomever invites unless it is discussed ahead of time. My first date ever was going dutch.
I think that a guy should always think of things ahead of time to ask his date. I have done the uncomfortable silence and had to fill it in. It was a shame because the guy was nice, but he had nothing substantial to say – no passion for any hobbies or anything in his life.
I think these should apply to women as well!! I’ve been on some dates with girls who did a few of these things and they just act like its nothing.
Thanks for sharing this article with us. I am planing to participate Indian reality Show “First Date” in which if you are selected then you get a chance to meet a new person on a blind date, hope these tips help me to impress my new and strange partner.
I think to bring some gift for her is an another good idea in case if you don’t know her like or dislike then bring two or three gifts is not a bad idea. It shows your kindness and she feel special.
Rahul – that is the WORST advice ever dude. You do not need to bring a woman gifts on a first date. Most modern women will laugh at you or run for the door.
I’d recommend you read my book asap: http://www.themodernman.com/the_flow.html
I agree with madison.. very much helpful .. seems really simple but majority of the people forget to pay attention over these tips
well..havent experienced a date till now…will surely keep these ideas in mind when i build up enough courage to use your tips for approaching and attracting women
I really like your new site guys! A very nice methodology to teach men how to obtain success in dating women.
thank u for ur nice tips about relationships. But my problem is that every girl i meat for the first time begins talking about her past relationships which is the first thing that puts me off. Why is dat?
You might be surprised to hear that a lot of women actually do this as a way to impress you. She wants to tell you about how other guys have chased after her (so you think she is valuable) and how she has such high standards of men now (to try to make you insecure and feel like you need to impress her).
If you don’t want her to talk about past relationships, simply change the topic
“Hey, so enough about all the men who are still heartbroken over you…what’s some fun stuff you’ve been up to lately? You look like you stay in shape – you work out often?”
What if you don’t plan to see the girl again but when the bill arrives she shows no intention whatsoever of sharing the bill (keep up with the modern times girls!), I hate that cause I get stuck with the bill and a girl I am not interested in.
Thanks for your question.
Simply say, “Okay cool – how much is it each then?” or “Okay, I’ll put in $20” (or whatever 50% of the bill is) Sure, it will feel uncomfortable, but for that small moment of discomfort you’ll have saved money on something you would have regretted spending it on.
However, you really should do what I do – have first dates at your place or hers. It’s much cheaper and easier to escalate to kissing and sex. I don’t do “dinner dates” at restaurants anymore. Or, you can do what I call a HALF DATE: http://www.themodernman.com/secret_weapon_first_dates.html
On the first date, should the guy show an effort of picking her up , or have her arrived at the location by her own ?
Thanks for your question.
Those sorts of details are taught in Dating Power: http://store.themodernman.com/in/ff7fdd
Comments are closed.