Is chivalry dead?
Women still appreciate chivalry, but only from men that they feel sexually attracted to. If your main approach to a woman is to be a nice gentleman, but you’re not even saying or doing anything that will make her feel sexually attracted to you, then she won’t appreciate your chivalrous gestures.
The Real Meaning of Chivalry
Here’s what the dictionary has to say about chivalry:
1. The medieval system or institution of knighthood. The combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight; especially courage, honor justice, and a readiness to help the weak.
2. Courteous behavior, especially that of a man towards women.
As you can see, the knights of the medieval times played a big part what it means to be chivalrous, but does that mean that chivalry has no place in modern society?
If you’ve recently been asking yourself the question, “Is chivalry dead?” you may be wondering why your courteous behavior towards women is not bringing you the success that you deserve, right?
You might have even come to the conclusion that modern women do prefer “bad boys” and that guys who treat women well get rejected. Maybe you’re starting to think that the world has gone crazy and you’re not going to be able to get a girlfriend because you’re not prepared to give up on what you believe is the right way to treat a woman.
You want to be a nice, chivalrous gentleman and if women don’t like that, bad luck to them, right? They need to wake up and realize that you are a great guy, right?
Women don’t care that you’re a good guy unless you first make them feel attracted to you. In the past, women had to select a man based on how nice he was and how well set up he was financially.
Generally speaking, women couldn’t earn their own money, so they were completely dependant on men. If she got married, she had to stay with that man for life, even if she was unhappy, because it was shameful to get divorced.
Women can now earn their own money, have sex with whoever they like and settle down whenever they feel like it. They no longer have to select a man based on how courteous and chivalrous he is.
That’s not to say that women no longer appreciate or want men who are courteous or chivalrous. Women do still appreciate men who treat them well and most women want to find themselves a good guy, but he ALSO has to be able to make her feel sexually attracted.
These days, dating and relationships start with sexual attraction, kissing and sex. A recent study found that 55% of couples admitted to having sex on their first date, while another study found that 70% of women admitted to having experienced a one night stand before.
In other words, you don’t have to court a woman for weeks or months by being a chivalrous gentleman. Be a good guy, be respectful and treat her well, but make sure that you’re not acting like a gentleman from 1895.
In today’s world, you need to start with sexual attraction. From there, you need to kiss the woman and have sex with her. After that, you can both decide whether or not to have a relationship. You’re essentially taking each other for a “test drive” first and seeing how you feel.
The Modern Way to Be a Chivalrous Man
Here are 3 examples of how to be chivalrous with a woman in today’s world.
Important: A woman will only appreciate these gestures if you have already made her feel attracted to you. If you are only being a nice gentleman and are not saying or doing anything to make her feel turned on by you, she will most likely see your attempts to be chivalrous as tacky or uncalled for.
Make sure that you trigger her feelings of sexual attraction FIRST. Then, the fact that you’re a good guy will be highly appreciate and make her feel excited to have finally met a good guy who ALSO turns her on.
1. Be nice to the people she cares about in her life
A woman will always have people in her life that she respects, enjoying hanging out with and loves. A chivalrous modern man will make sure that he gives those people attention and doesn’t try to exclude them from the life that he and her have together.
Even if you don’t necessarily like some things about those people and would prefer that she only hang out with your friends, you should try to be more open minded. Be courteous to her by having a more open heart and caring about her happiness, not just your own.
One day, she may not like some of those people, but while she does, a good guy will let her experience the relationship and come to her own decisions over time.
2. Surprise her by doing something nice for her once in a while
A recent example for me is with my wife.
We had a party at our house with friends for her birthday. Everyone had a great time and headed home at about 1am. I woke up at 9am and saw that the house was a mess downstairs in the living and dining areas.
So, I quickly made some breakfast for myself and spent the next two hours cleaning up all the mess. When my wife came down, I said, “Happy birthday darling” and she had to stop and look for a couple of seconds to realize what had happened.
She was amazed that I’d cleaned it all up for her and had been expecting to come down and have to clean it all up herself. I later overheard her telling her aunty how lucky she is to have a guy like me and that it was a great birthday present in the morning.
Every now and then, I do something nice for her like that and it helps to remind her that she is treated well. I don’t have time to do that sort of thing more often though because I put in about 50-60 hours of work per week into The Modern Man, so she appreciates it when I do anything that is extra special just for her
3. Watching one of her favorite TV shows with her
If you’re a masculine man like me, you don’t really want to be watching the types of TV sitcoms and drama shows that women like.
Personally, I prefer to watch channels like H2 (History 2), National Geographic, Discovery Science, etc. I want to learn something or see something interesting.
However, my wife likes to feel the emotions that come with watching drama shows. I’ll often walk into the lounge room and see her teary-eyed or wiping away some tears.
So, being the courteous, chivalrous guy that I am (haha…), I will sometimes suffer through 30 minutes or an hour of watching one of her favorite shows with her. I would rather be watching something else, but I do it so we can have a chance to talk and connect about what’s going on in the show.
She’ll explain all the drama going on in the show and excitedly tell me about some of the story plot lines. I will genuinely listen and explore the conversation with her, joke around about it or add in my own thoughts.
After that is done, she is always happy to see that we experienced something like that together. However, it’s not something that a woman wants to do with her man all the time. If a guy did that every day and was interested in all of her girly shows, they would become more like neutral friends, rather than man and woman.
To keep the sexual spark alive in a relationship, you have to retain the dynamic where she is the woman and you are the man. If you start to think, behave and act like each other, you will neutralize the sexual attraction and eventually, you will both feel bored of being in the relationship.
You will begin feeling attracted to more feminine women and she will begin feeling attracted to more masculine guys. So, be careful not to go overboard in your attempts to be chivalrous and courteous to your woman.
Be a good guy, but make sure that you still remain a masculine man…