Are you letting the fear of success steal your life away from you, day by day?
Are you going after what you really want with women and in life, or are you hiding from it because you’re afraid of failing?
To some people, it may seem strange to think that a man could fear success so much that he avoids becoming successful in many areas of his life. After all, what man wouldn’t want to have a great job, a loving relationship with a beautiful woman and achieve anything else in his life that he desired?
Although success brings more happiness and fulfilment to a man’s life, fear of success is one of the primary reasons why men steer clear of going after what they really want.
In the case of a beautiful woman, a man will often avoid approaching her and picking her up because he fears that begins a relationship with her, he won’t be able to keep her happy.
Instead of facing his fears of approaching women, he will wait in the shadows in the hope of “getting lucky” and will accept a woman that he isn’t truly happy with.
Are You Afraid of Success?
In most cases, success means that you need to do things that are not familiar to you, which can make you afraid. To get what you really want, you might have to step outside of your comfort zone and talk to high status business people or to beautiful women and the cool crowd.
For you, success might mean that you have to take on bigger responsibilities, take more of a leading role at work or around friends, or you may have to do things that you’ve only ever fantasized about being able to do.
As you imagine being successful, you then begin to fear that if you become too successful it will then change the relationship you have with friends or family members, because you might have less time to spend with them or they may become jealous of your accomplishments and resent you.
For instance, if you suddenly become more successful at meeting attractive women or finding a great girlfriend, you may fear that your friends who don’t have your level of skill with women might feel uncomfortable around you.
Perhaps if you start to earn more money, you might assume that your friends will either resent you or try to take advantage of your new wealth.
You may also believe that you don’t deserve real success or that if you get that new job you want, you might not be able to accomplish everything that’s expected of you. So, why even bother?
If you succeed in your love life, you may fear that you don’t have the skills to build and maintain a relationship with the quality woman you have attracted. So, why even talk to her?
There are many reasons why you might fear success, but let me ask you this: Do you really think it is an intelligent thing to do to let your fears be stronger than your desire to succeed?
Do you feel as though hiding in fear is better than being a true success and enjoying all the benefits that come with it? Would you rather let this life pass you by or live this life to it’s fullest?
Answering those questions is hard for someone who fears success because the fear is usually more powerful than the desire to succeed. Additionally, someone who hides from success usually doesn’t know how good it feels to be successful.
One of the biggest differences between successful people and unsuccessful people is that successful people get EXCITED about any small step of progress they make towards their goal. Any little win fires them up even more and gives them more passion and drive.
Yet, unsuccessful people focus on their lack of success. Any little slip or mistake serves as additional fuel for their fear of success. They think, “See! I can’t do this. I am hopeless. I will never be successful” and give life to the fear.
To kill fear, you have to stop giving it fuel. You have to give fuel to the fire of your desire. The bigger your desire, the easier it is to succeed now and in the long run.
Take the Test
If you have been making any of these mistakes, you have been adding fuel to the fire of your fear…
Do you spend too much time on unimportant things to delay doing the things that you actually need to do to be successful?
For instance, do you use your phone or computer to “check Facebook,” read unimportant news or follow sports that you don’t need to following all week long?
Do you watch a lot of TV or spend way too much time at the gym, when you should be putting some of that time towards achieving the long-term goals that you really want to achieve in life?
2. All Talk, No Action
Do you spend a lot of time talking or daydreaming about meeting a new woman, landing the job you want, getting a better education or wanting to live a healthier, more active lifestyle rather than putting in the time and effort to make it happen?
When you see a beautiful woman that you want to approach, do you sometimes think, “She’d never go out with a guy like me, so why should I even try to talk to her?”
When you think about getting a better job, do you sometimes think, “What’s the point in even applying? There are so many applicants; I’ll never get the job (or promotion) because they are most-likely going to be better than me.”
4. Misplaced Guilt
When good things come your way, do you feel guilty that you got it and others didn’t? Do you feel like you don’t deserve to be successful, but you feel happy for others who succeed? When something good happens to you, does you sometimes feel like you shouldn’t be that successful or lucky?
Do you know what you should be doing, but just can’t be bothered doing it because you’re afraid that you won’t succeed anyway? Have you become addicted to your laziness, to the point where you actually make yourself feel good for staying at home alone and not doing anything?
How do you think you will feel in 30 years time when you look back and realize that you wasted your life, while people around you have been getting ahead of you and enjoying life so much more?
Do you know people who could help you to achieve your goals, but are too embarrassed to ask for their help? Have people offered to help you to accomplish something, but you then turned them down because you’d rather do it yourself?
Do you feel like you’re most-likely going to fail, so you don’t want anyone else to get involved because you will then let them down?
Entering the Unknown
You are always in control of how you perceive the world.
You can either look at ‘the unknown’ (things you haven’t done or things you don’t know about) as a scary thing and then feel fearful about it, or you can look at the unknown as an exciting thing and feel exhilarated by it.
Remember when you first learned to drive a car? Getting behind the wheel for the first time was an example of you entering the unknown…but, guess what? You survived and you succeeded because your willingness to learn outweighed your fears. That’s how you have to look at all of your possible success fears.
For example: This is how a guy can begin overcoming his fear of approaching women and then use his newfound confidence to approach and attract women that he chooses…
Overcoming your fear of success is simply a matter of understanding that if you have a strong enough desire to succeed, you will eventually get there and reach the level of life and experience you are aiming for.
It doesn’t matter if you make mistakes along the way to success because EVERYBODY does. The most successful people in the world have made 100s, if not 1000s of mistakes to reach the success that they now feel so proud about.
The basic steps to become successful at something are:
- Learn what you need to know.
- Give yourself the time to practice and become better at whatever tasks are necessary to achieve what you want.
- Don’t give up at the first sign of difficulty or challenge.
No elite athlete, musician, actor, businessman or anyone you admire who is a success was born with all of the tools necessary to become great at what they do.
They learned, practiced, made mistakes, practiced some more, made whatever sacrifices were necessary and had enough self confidence and drive to eventually achieve greatness and succeed.
How willing are you to be successful?
Will you hide away in fear, or will you take control of your life and live it to the fullest while you still can?