For some women, playing hard to get is a major component of their dating strategy.
She will either do it because she only wants to attract the type of guy who remains confident no matter what tests she puts him through, or because she knows that it will make guys want her more. At some point in her life, someone will have told her that if she agreed to go out with a guy too quickly, she might appear “easy” and the guy would quickly lose interest.
A woman who plays hard to get will often hide her true feelings and get a guy working hard to keep her attention because she is insecure about her attractiveness. Find that difficult to believe? Well, according to the global study conducted by Dove Cosmetics, 96% of women do not consider themselves to be beautiful.
In other words, women ACT like they are hot stuff and that a guy would be so lucky to be with them, but deep down, almost all women are insecure about their attractiveness to guys. A lot of this has to do with the way that women are presented in magazines, porn and advertisements.
She Has Been Hurt or Tricked By Guys Before
Some women are guarded because they have been hurt by an ex-boyfriend, or may have been quickly dumped once a man was able to attract her and get her interested. For these men, they’re playing the “Can I get her?” game and once they do, they lose interest. It might also be that while a man has never showed this type of behavior to her, her friends have been the victim of men playing these types of games and she wants to make sure it doesn’t happen to her.
To avoid being hurt by you, some women will play hard to get to hopefully make you feel more desperate to be with her. She will attempt to make sure that you are truly interested in a possible relationship with her, before she fully opens herself up to you. Unfortunately, in most of these cases, men go too far when trying proving themselves and end up turning the woman off by becoming desperate and being too keen.
The best strategy is NOT to try to convince her to like you or pour your heart out to her and explain how much you like her. The best strategy is to get her chasing you and desperately trying to be your girlfriend. Get her to become so attracted and interested in you that she blurts out her feelings for you. Don’t let her play you with her games because if you get sucked in by it and become needy, insecure and desperate, that will actually turn her off.
She is Tired of How Other Guys Approach Her
Many women, especially beautiful women, get hit on all of the time. In most cases, they get approached by men who try to amaze them with a pick up line or by guys who are too nervous, too eager or too awkward. After a while, they have an automatic response ready to reject guys and ask to be left alone. A woman will rarely meet a guy who can approach and talk to her in a confident, easy-going manner while also being able to make her feel attracted to him. When she does meet a guy like that, she immediately opens up to him.
If you want to be successful at approaching and meeting women, you’ve got to drop all the bullshit and acting. You’ve got to be real, easy-going and confident. Don’t put on an act, don’t think that women are stupid and will be amazed by a pick up line and don’t put too much pressure on the interaction. Just be the cool, confident guy that you are and have a fun, interesting conversation with the women. If you don’t know how to do that, click around here at The Modern Man and I will teach you.
She Plays Mind Games Because it Works
Let’s face it, playing hard to get works for many women. There are a lot of desperate men who will do pretty much anything to get some attention from women. What these guys don’t realize is that women are attracted to the strength in men (e.g. confidence, masculinity) and turned off by the weakness (e.g. desperation, self-doubt, insecurity).
Begging and pleading a woman to give you a chance never works. Spending hours trying to convince her to like you doesn’t work either. What works is making her feel sexually attracted to you by being confident and masculine around her.
Many women use the desperation of guys to increase their self-confidence. They eat up all the compliments offered and try to use that to feel confident enough around guys who actually make them feel attraction. Remember: 96% of women don’t think they are beautiful. They make ACT as though they are the hottest girl in the world, but they do not believe that. Most women you meet are insecure about their looks.
Give Her Some of Her Own Medicine
One of the best ways to win over a girl who is playing hard to get, is to simply turn the tables on her. Get her chasing you and hoping to win you over.
How to get her chasing you:
- Attract her by being confident and masculine.
- Make her feel girly in response to your masculinity.
- Flirt with her and create a sexual vibe.
- Be 100% attracted to her, but do not be 100% interested in her.
- Allow your interest level in her to rise and fall based on how well she treats you.
- When she begins treating you well, don’t show intense interest. Just let your interest rise slowly.
- The nicer she is to you and the more interest she shows, the more you reward her by slowly raising your interest level.
I’ve used that approach to sleep with models and women who usually reject 99% of the men who try to pick them up. Women LOVE being put in the position where they feel lucky to be with you. Beautiful women are usually bored to death of guys who are desperate to get a chance with her. She wants to have the feeling that she is winning you over.
Lessons from “The Bachelor”
You might have heard of or watched the reality television show called “The Bachelor.” The basic premise is that 25 beautiful woman vie for the attention of one man, The Bachelor, in the hopes of finding a husband.
During the course of the show, “The Bachelor” dates the women to find out who he likes until he’s left with two women, one of whom he supposedly proposes marriage to or at least suggests that they enter into a monogamous relationship after the show ends. What makes the show so interesting is how these beautiful women (who would normally play hard to get in a one on one situation) behave as they try to win “The Bachelor’s” heart.
It’s a fact of nature (even if women deny it to your face) that women are more attracted to men who other liked and wanted by other women. In the case of The Bachelor show, they want to be the girl he chooses for several reasons (e.g. fame, feel special on TV, beat the other women, etc), but the fundamental instinct of being attracted to men that other women want is a huge driver.
You can have the same effect on women in the real world. Instead of being the super keen guy who hopes to be chosen by women, get women hoping to be chosen by you. Be the sort of guy that women want (i.e. confident, masculine, real) and just believe in yourself. Allow you interest in women to rise and fall based on how they are treating you.
If you are behaving in an attractive way, most or all of the women will show signs of interest in you. When a woman notices that all the other women in the group are interested in you as well, she will become desperate to win your attention. When her friends see that, their attraction for you will rise as well. It’s pretty cool how it works. Just make sure that you remain humble and don’t get big-headed about it though.
Just smile, relax and know that most women like you and want to be with you. It’s an awesome way to live life and it makes the dating process simple and effortless.
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