Why do some women play hard to get?

Why do some women play hard to get?

For some women, playing hard to get is all part of the dating game.

Somewhere in a woman's life, someone likely told her that if she was too friendly or agreed to go out with a guy too quickly, she would appear "easy" and the guy would quickly lose interest.

A woman like this has often been instructed to hide her true feelings and if a guy shows interest, she should make him "work" to keep her attention. On the other hand, some women are simply not interested in you and if that's the case, you either need to change how she feels about you or move onto another woman.

Women Who Are Guarded

Some women are guarded because they have been hurt by an ex-boyfriend, or may have been quickly dumped once a man was able to attract her and get her interested. For these men, they're playing the "Can I get her?" game and once they do, they lose interest. It might also be that while a man has never showed this type of behavior to her, her friends have been the victim of some man playing these types of games and she wants to make sure it doesn't happen to her. So, some women will actively shield themselves from being hurt by making sure that you aren't just playing with them. She wants to know that he is truly interested in a possible relationship, so she guards herself and makes him prove himself extensively before giving in.

Unfortunately, in most of these cases, men go too far in proving themselves and end up turning the woman off by becoming desperate and being too keen. The best strategy, regardless of what you think the woman wants to hear, is the get her chasing you and desperately trying to be your girlfriend. That way, you never have to face rejection and are in complete control of the relationship. However, if you try to explain that you're the man for her, express your feelings and ask her to choose you, you will be rejected 99% of the time.

She is Tired of How Other Guys Approach Her

Many women, especially beautiful women, get hit on all of the time. And it's usually by men who think that they have to approach a woman with an amazing pick up line, a guy who is overly aggressive, shows no self-confidence or who acts way too eager too quickly. Basically, most women are bored by this type of behavior and they dismiss most men out of hand because of it. Rarely will a woman meet a guy who approaches her in a normal, easy-going, confident and attractive way (read The Flow to learn how). However, when she does meet a guy like that, she immediately opens up to him.

She Plays the Game Because it Works

Let's face it, playing hard to get works for many women. There are a lot of desperate men who will do pretty much anything in an attempt to get some attention from women who play hard to get. Women find this type of reactionary behavior from men funny, flattering and/or pathetic. Furthermore, since they're being rewarded for playing hard to get, they just keep doing it! Watching men grovel, beg and plead with them only increases their self-confidence, so they eat up all the compliments and desperate attempts to impress.

So, Give Her Some of Her Own Medicine!

One of the best ways to win over a girl who is playing hard to get, is to simply turn the tables and play the game back at her.

You can do this in a number of ways. The best way of all though is to approach her and make her feel attraction for you emotionally, but don’t try to pick her up. As she shows you signals of interest (she will if you have attracted her properly), don’t jump all over them by showing your intense interest back to her immediately.

Instead, relax and allow your interest in her to rise and fall based on how well she is treating you. Think about it, this is exactly what hot women do to you. They’ll show interest in you immediately if you approach them confidently, but as soon as you start messing up, they will then start losing interest. Do the same thing to women and you will instantly find that women start trying to impress you and maintain your interest.

Lessons from "The Bachelor"

There's a popular reality television show in the States called "The Bachelor." The basic premise is that 25 beautiful woman vie for the attention of one man – "The Bachelor" – in the hopes of finding a husband.

During the course of the show, "The Bachelor" meets, dates and whittles down the women, a few at a time, until he's left with two women, one of whom he supposedly proposes marriage to or at least suggests that they enter into a monogamous relationship after the show ends.

Now, what makes the show so interesting to watch and analyze is seeing how these beautiful women behave as they try to win "The Bachelor's" heart. Most of the women start out by genuinely hoping to meet the man they will eventually marry. However, as the show moves along and one gorgeous gal after another gets cut and sent home because "The Bachelor" isn't interested, you can that all of the women genuinely become desperate to win his love.

You can have the same type of effect on women in the real dating world. Instead of being the super keen guy who falls head over heels for a beautiful woman, let her be the one who falls for you. Sure, you will love her fully as well, but let her work hard to make you fall in love with her. In you're interacting with a group of women, don't be the guy who feels so lucky to be hanging out with a group of women. Just relax, be yourself and realize that these girls are lucky to be hanging out with you. Allow you interest in each of them to rise and fall based on how they are treating you. If you are behaving in an attractive way, then all the women will be showing signs of interest in you. When a woman notices that all the other women in the group are interested, she will become desperate to win your attention and for you to show her the most interest out of all the women in the group.

Is She "Playing Hard to Get" or Saying, "YOU Will Never Get Me"?

There is a difference between a woman playing hard to get with you and a woman who is giving you signals that she's simply not interested in you. It is essential that you learn the distinction between the two, otherwise you will cause yourself a lot of heartache and unintentionally annoy a lot of women who just aren’t interested in you.

If she flirts with you a bit (makes eye contact, continually primps herself, plays with her hair, touches you, etc.) but won't immediately give you her number or sleep with you, then she's playing hard to get and she just wants you to try a little harder first. If you find yourself in this situation, do your very, very best to turn the tables on her so she is trying to get you to like her fully again. If you want to get an in depth eduction on how to make a woman desperate for you to like HER, watch Better Than a Bad Boy.

On the other hand, if there is a woman who pretty much ignores you, won't engage in a long or flirtatious conversations with you or simply gives you one or two word replies when you talk to her, then she's just not feeling it with you. You can either improve your attractiveness to women and change how she feels about you, or find a new woman and start again.