Question: Why Do Women Play Hard to Get After You’ve Shown Interest?

• Henry

  How do you deal with women’s mind games?? Replying late.. ignoring calls, even though you know she is interested, she persists on texting back way later, or ignoring your call, only to call back in a few hours or the next day, even after you are really close with eachother. Do you confront her on this or play it cool?

  • Dan Bacon

    Hey Henry

    Thanks for your question.

    Listen to this free preview for the answer: http://www.themodernman.com/get_her_begging_to_be_your_girlfriend.html

    I’ll also be making a video on that subject soon. Look out for it!

    Cheers
    Dan

    • Henry

      Thanks Dan, let me know as soon as the video is available. Let’s just say I have a girl that every guy has chased in the past. So she can be really testy and she does this the most with not replying to calls or messages. Or being ‘too busy’.
      I’ve read a lot from other sources on ‘staying in your frame’ to make her more submissive.

      So I look forward to hearing your opinions and advice on the situation.

      Henry

    • Dan Bacon

      Hi Henry

      Thanks for your question.

      Retaining your power (or “Staying in your frame”) is only part of what is required to successfully attract a beautiful, sought after woman. If you want this particular woman you referred to in your comment, you need to make her feel LUCKY to have you as a boyfriend, rather than you feeling lucky to get with her. Most guys will hand over their power to her in the hope that she will choose them. That is NOT what she wants. In Dating Power, we explain how to turn the tables so women feel lucky to be chosen by you.

      Cheers
      Dan

    • Henry

      I have dating power, what section in particular should I re-revise?

      Thanks Dan!

    • Dan Bacon

      Hi Henry

      Thanks for your question.

      Watch the section Making Women Chase You, particularly the part where I talk about the difference between being attracted to a girl and liking her. A woman should get the sense that you have standards and she will then try to impress you, IF you do the other thing I mention in that section.

      Cheers
      Dan

    • Jonathan

      Okay so lets say that there is a girl that likes you but like you try to talk to her but she doesn’t acknowledge you but she talks to her friends like how cute you are and stuff, would that be considered as hard to get? And than you ask her out and than she thinks about it but her friends tell not to go out with you because your not cool enouph or something, what would that be considered as?

    • Dan Bacon

      Hey Jonathan

      Thanks for your question.

      Watch this video: http://www.themodernman.com/videos/turn-your-female-friend-or-co-worker-into-your-girlfriend.html

      Cheers
      Dan

• Dan

  Great work and advice there Dan! I learned a lot. Thanks!

  • Dan Bacon

    You’re welcome mate!

• Jason

  Why do girls listen there friends and not face it themselves and weather they should go out with him?

  • Dan Bacon

    Hi Jason

    Thanks for your question.

    This would be a great topic for a video. First though, I have a question for you: Why don’t her friends like you? What do you think you’ve done to turn them against you?

    Answer that and I’ll make a video response for you.

    Cheers
    Dan

• Curtis

  How do women recongnize real man/men when they first see him. What instinct let’s her know that he is a man in charge. How do women see that you are masculine man.

  • Dan Bacon

    Hi Curtis

    Thanks for your question.

    As Ben says in Dating Power, “Everyone is constantly displaying body language whether they like it or not…you can’t turn it off”

    Body language is the ideal way for a woman to assess who you REALLY are. If your confidence is a front (is fake) then she will see right through it by observing your body language. She will be able to see the nervousness in your eyes, you fidgeting with your hands, tension in your body, etc.

    True confidence can’t be faked because your TRUE SELF is always coming through. Example: Have you ever spoken to someone who was trying to deceive you…that person was trying to come across as genuine, but you could TELL that they weren’t being fully straight with you?

    Women, human beings like us men, also have the ability to pick up on such deception. They can see it in your body language, hear it in the words you use during conversation, what you talk about and what you don’t talk about.

    If you want a woman to instantly see that you’re a real man, you need to develop true confidence and have a clear understand of what women really want from men.

    If you haven’t already (I’m assuming you haven’t, because you’re asking such a question), go ahead and read my ebook The Flow: http://store.themodernman.com/products/the_flow.php

    Then, when you are ready to build your confidence even further, listen to Mastery Methods & Mindsets: http://store.themodernman.com/products/mastery_methods_and_mindsets.php

    Cheers
    Dan

• tesfalem

  hi dan

  how can i deal with a girl who show me her interest first but trying to act not like that now?

  • Dan Bacon

    Hi Tesfalem

    Thanks for your question.

    Sounds like you made a bad first impression and she is no longer interested. Good news: You can recover from it.

    Watch this video:
    http://www.themodernman.com/videos/question-and-answer-video-series-part-10.html

    Cheers
    Dan

• Esrom

  how can u tell if a girl that you’ve been hanging out for a short period likes you or not??

  • Dan Bacon

    Hi Esrom

    Thanks for your question.

    You find out by FLIRTING with her. If she flirts back, then she is trying to tell you that she is sexually interested in you.

    Sounds like you’d benefit from watching this video:
    http://www.themodernman.com/videos/question-and-answer-video-series-part-8.html

    Cheers
    Dan

• MATTHEW

  Nice simple explanation on this. Thanks. Only thing I need more of is a little more situational details like a girl you have to see often so you have to be careful not to make a mistake that will last or she will tell all the mutual friends or workmates. I’m always worried about my reputation.

  • Dan Bacon

    Hi Matthew

    Thanks for your comment.

    Listen to the FREE AUDIO PREVIEW on this page called “How to Tell a Woman That You Like Her” http://store.themodernman.com/products/the_ultimate_guide_to_conversation.php

    Cheers
    Dan

• Gary

  How do you flirt with girl without going overboard while still showing interest to make sure you’re not in the friend zone?

  • Dan Bacon

    Hi Gary

    Thanks for your question.

    I have to ask you: Have you even tried flirting with a woman yet? If yes, what have you done that makes you think you went overboard?

    Pls. give me some more info on a specific example and I will then reply with more detailed advice.

    Cheers
    Dan

• Maarten

  Thanks Dan.. this was one of the moste interesting videos!

  You are just great at explaining things.. you are the best!

  Thanks again!

  Nice day

  • Dan Bacon

    Hey Maarten

    Thanks so much for your feedback! I really appreciate it. Glad you’re enjoying the vids.

    Cheers
    Dan

• Landon

  Hey Dan

  Great video.

  It’s confusing to me girls don’t want to be seen to be ‘easy’ but will chase a guy that their super interested in doesn’t that just lower their value? Because we can see shes chasing us.

  Are girls aware their chasing guys or don’t they care?

  Thanks

  Landon

  • Dan Bacon

    Hey Landon

    Thanks for your question.

    Have you ever heard a woman say, “I love a guy who is a challenge?” Women LOVE to chase a guy because it arouses more exciting and rewarding emotions that just accepting the 1,000s of desperate guys who will say and do anything to be with her.

    Here’s the thing…

    Humans place more value on things that aren’t as easily attainable. For example: In countries that have easy and consistent access to clean running water, they don’t care about water…they use it and don’t spare a thought about where it came from and how much of it is left. In countries where water is hard to get or non-existent for certain periods during the year, they savor it and sometimes even kill each other over it.

    Bringing it back to women and dating now…MOST guys are desperate and as soon as a woman shows them a TINY BIT of interest, “WHAM!” – the guy lights up like a Christmas tree and signals his interest back to the woman.

    Borrrrring…

    That experience is as boring for a woman as water is to a Westerner…both the Westerner and the woman can just take it for granted because it is on TAP and is available all the time. What a human wants is something VALUABLE.

    So, YES – most women are usually aware that they are chasing a guy. In fact, women GET EXCITED about it because it is EXACTLY the sort of stuff that women LOVE to talk about with one another for hours and hours on end. Granted, they also like to brag about all the guys chasing them, but they’re usually just talking those guys down and using them for a self-esteem boost.

    Landon – I understand that it would be confusing for you if you look at it that way. Instead, look at it in terms of a VALUE EXCHANGE between you and the woman.

    By going out with you, is she basically doing you a favor because you’re acting like a LOW VALUE guy who will basically accept ANY half decent woman who shows him interest?

    OR…

    By going out with you, is SHE the one who is getting the good end of the deal? Are YOU the one who is reluctantly allowing HER to seduce you? Are YOU the one who feels like he has more value in the situation, so YOU are making you chase you to earn it first.

    Trust me – when you have as much choice as the guys who are GOOD with women do (me included), you REALLY DO have to pick and choose the women that you will allow to seduce you because you honestly don’t have time for them all. Also, if you ever get to the level of having multiple girlfriends at once (my life for the past 5 years), you will probably get them competing amongst each other for your attention. Up to you though – some guys use the power that they gain from our information to find one woman and keep her. I’ll probably do that in a few years…for now though – I’m enjoying the multiple girlfriend lifestyle.

    Cheers
    Dan

• lycan

  im got a target.. but she is in a relationship with someone.. can you give me some advice.. she is really hot….)

  • Dan Bacon

    Hi Lycan

    Thanks for your question.

    Sorry mate – I don’t provide advice on stealing another guy’s girlfriend.

    The only reason you want to do that is you lack the confidence to approach other women. You might say, “Oh no – she is special to me Dan” …yeh, for sure – special because you’ve got no other options with women.

    Grow a pair of balls and approach some new women. It is not difficult when you use the right techniques. Listen to how this guy picked up a girl during the day:
    http://www.themodernman.com/she_called_him_stupid.html

    Cheers
    Dan

• Landon

  Hey Dan

  Don’t girls ultimately just kill there own dating lives by being super difficult? I know they’re trying to find a guy who is ‘worthy’ but from my own personal experience i’ve found even if i am backing myself and i think i’m a decent guy if a girl is being super hard to get with then i either lose interest or i do start chasing more and changing my approach even though i know i shouldn’t. I find most girls go overboard with the games and it just wipes out most of their options that were good enough for them, they just made it too difficult i mean most guys aren’t ladies men.
  most people don’t have bulletproof confidence and can be completely unphased by how someone is responding to them, the doubts to start to creep in after awhile.

  • Dan Bacon

    Hi Landon

    Thanks for your comment.

    Yes, you’re right – a lot of modern women do make it difficult for men. However, they absolutely NEED TO in order to find men who are compatible with them. If a woman settles for a lesser man, she won’t love him fully, won’t be happy and will likely cheat on him in due course.

    The thing is, most modern women have been “uplifted” as a result of previous generations that saw the rise of feminism, created equal opportunity for women and gave women a political voice. Since women in Western countries can earn their own money and support themselves, they don’t need to bow down to men anymore like the women in poorer countries still do. They also don’t need men for physical security because we have police and court systems that protect all citizens and a hungry media that is ready name and shame anyone who breaks the law.

    If you want a modern woman in a Western (or Westernized) country, she will expect you to have more “balls” than her. What I mean by that is: Modern women have become very confident, independent and outspoken. If that scares you and makes you feel like less of a man around her, then she literally can’t feel attraction for you and you simply won’t be compatible with her.

    Hence why I called this “The Modern Man”…it’s about men getting their balls back and knowing how to interact with women in such a way that the women begin to chase and try to pick them up. Have you listen to Mastery Methods & Mindsets or watched Dating Power yet? Those programs will fix your problems.

    Cheers
    Dan

• Jesse

  Hey Dan

  I always assume that if a girl is being difficult then she’s not that in to you? I understand that girls will test to find out what kind of guy you are confident etc but from my own experiences the girls that have been really into me haven’t tested me at all or very little anyway because they don’t want to blow the opportunity with me i’m assuming? but with girls who are throwing the challenges at me I’ve never ended up being with. Anytime i start to see increased resistence I just pull the plug because i know shes not interested.

  • Dan Bacon

    Hi Jesse

    Thanks for your question.

    Yes, sometimes that will be correct. However, there is a difference between a woman being uninterested in guy and a woman testing a guy to see if he is confident enough to be with her. It is easy to see if a woman isn’t interested by reading her signals of interest, which we explain and demonstrate in Dating Power.

    Regarding the girls who don’t test you much for fear of blowing the opportunity, that is also correct and definitely does happen. Some women will avoid putting you through challenging tests because they are already super keen on you and have decided that they already want to be with you. However, that usually only happens when you “get lucky” and will rarely, if ever happen with the type of women that make heads turn and jaws drop. Most women will test a man to see if he is actually a man or not. If you can’t handle her tests, you will have demonstrated that you’re not strong enough (mentally and emotionally) for her.

    You said, “Anytime i start to see increased resistence I just pull the plug because i know shes not interested.” If you do that, you’ll never get to have your choice with women. You’ll have to settle for women who choose you. For guys who aren’t attractive to women, using that strategy leads to loneliness, frustration and the odd occasion of getting lucky with the type of woman they don’t really want anyway. If you want your choice with women, you need to learn how to handle interactions with strength and poise and not be thrown off by the little tests women put you through.

    Cheers
    Dan

• Jesse

  Hey Dan

  Thanks for replying dude. Could you clear this up for me.

  What is it about average looking girls and it being so easy to attract them though? Are they just desperate and don’t have as higher standards as more attractive girls?

  Like sometimes I’ve been out and met girls through friends or bearly even said hello to some girls and they’re ready to take me home and tear my clothes off, and i’m like what did i do to deserve this level of interest from her? I wasn’t displaying any of the traits or being attractive.

  Like your model is start an interaction, spark attraction, develop a connection, but honestly dan dude sometimes i’ve been out and not had to any of that so i’m confused? Is it just physical attraction thats getting were I am? and if so does that mean girls feel physical and emotional attraction?

  When these average girls find me attractive is it just because they don’t think they can do any better and have settled but in actual fact would really want someone like you for example? Is this the equivalent of a guy having an average looking girlfriend because he doesn’t think he can do any better but in reality really wants a hottie?

  Sometimes i walk past average girls in the mall and they’re showing strong signals of interest playing with hair franticly looking away because they’re shy etc and i’m like ok then walk past good looking women and you get nothing. Why is there a difference i thought attraction was attraction regardless?

  If a good looking girl with big boobs walks past a group of guys every guy feels attraction for her, no question. I don’t understand surely if you are being attractive girls will find you attractive? regardless if the girl is a 10 or a 1.

  • Dan Bacon

    Hi Jesse

    Thanks for your question.

    A hot woman has to act uninterested because as soon as she shows most guys the slightest bit of interest, they fall in love with her and follow her around like a lost puppy. Likewise, if a confident, cool guy shows interest in an average or unattractive woman, she will feel like all her luck has come at once and will be smitten over him. She will feel like she is getting more value of the situation that he is. However, if an average or unattractive woman shows interest in a cool, confident guy who can attract and sleep with hot women, he usually won’t be interested because he wants an attractive woman.

    This is where things get different for us guys….

    Since a woman’s attraction for a man is mostly based on his PSYCHOLOGY (confidence, personality, mental and emotional strength) a guy who is considered “ugly” can get an attractive girlfriend by attracting her with his confidence and personality. To everyone reading along: Don’t deny this truth in your mind. You see “ugly” guys with hot girlfriends ALL THE TIME. Don’t deny that it is the truth. You see it all the time.

    It is EASY for us men to decide whether we are attracted to a woman or not, because it is initially based on the physical. However, a woman need to assess more complicated parts of a man to allow her feeling of attraction to GROW. Yes, a woman’s attraction GROWS based on how the man makes her FEEL.

    THIS IS A GOOD THING.

    It means that we men CAN (and DO…don’t deny it – you see it all the time) attract beautiful women regardless of our looks. Women aren’t as lucky as us men. If a woman is physically unattractive, she will often have to settle for second best and accept the type of men that attractive women don’t want.

    When it comes to understanding attraction, remember this: You see the world through the eyes of a man. A woman she sees the world through the eyes of a woman. Both are VERY DIFFERENT lenses and you cannot understand a woman’s thinking by applying the masculine version (e.g. men are mostly attracted to a woman’s physical, so surely women think the same way about men! No, that isn’t true) of reality to it. She is interested in different things about men and her attraction grows based on how a guy makes her feel with his personality. Accept that, stop worrying about it and simply approach women you find attractive and move things to kissing, sex and a relationship.

    You said, “…and if so does that mean girls feel physical and emotional attraction?” Yes, of course they do. However, just because a woman feels both physical and emotional attraction, it does not mean that you need to be a male model to make a woman feel physical attraction. Simply look at the types of men that women are with and you see that they are just average looking guys. Yet, their girlfriends are physically attracted to them. Confusing? Yes! Men all over the world simply don’t understand that women are looking at us through a different lens. If women only felt physical attraction for men who were male models, 99% of us guys wouldn’t stand a chance! The truth is, a woman is more attracted to how a guy makes her FEEL via his personality than anything else. That is why you’ll often see guys leaving comments on this site saying they are “good looking” but are still a virgin, or always end up in the friend zone. Although women will feel some initial attraction for his looks, they will lose attraction for him due to his lack of confidence, lack of conversation skills and inability to flirt and escalate the interaction to a sexual level.

    Cheers
    Dan

    P.S. You mention that women sometimes throw themselves at you and you don’t even have to go through the normal steps of The Flow. Yes, that’s called “getting lucky” and as you may have experienced – it rarely, if ever happens with the type of women you really want. Getting lucky with women is not what this site is about – anyone can get lucky. So, I just want to make it clear for you and those reading along that women throwing themselves at you when you “get lucky” and haven’t done anything to deserve it has nothing to do with you using The Flow process.

    As you would know, if you want your CHOICE with women you need to approach women you find attractive and then take them through the natural process of The Flow. Listen to how this guy did it. Guys who rely on getting lucky usually don’t end up getting anything or if they do, the end up in a relationship with a woman that they aren’t really attracted to. Worse, they end up fathering children with her and are attached to her for life.

    The Modern Man is about giving men the ability to choose women, rather than waiting and hoping to be chosen by average or unattractive women.

• Jesse

  Hey Dan

  Thanks man thats some deep stuff there 🙂

  Yeah its just confusing I understand what you guys teach and that makes sense but then I see other things happening that do not fit or contradict with that line of thinking and I’m scratching my head going whats going on here.

  • Dan Bacon

    Hey Jesse

    You’re welcome mate.

    Yes, the whole area of women, dating and attraction is confusing for many modern men and that’s why this website exists – to clear up all the junk and allow guys to see what is really going on between men and women. A classic example is how women say, “I want a nice guy” and then go for guys who seem like the complete opposite. I wrote an article on that here: http://www.themodernman.com/nice_guys.html

    Cheers
    Dan

• DC

  Hey dan i have a question.

  I approached this girl and got her #. She told me to come visit her at work. (she works at a restaurant) so I did. We also went to a dog park to have some fun with the dogs. We went as far as making out at the dog park. 4 or 5 days went by very little communication between the two of us. I finally texted her one night and asked if she was free that weekend. She said “i dont know im working two jobs, I am work right now” So i decided to go visit her at work again. I showed up when she was closing so I left and she said that I should have stayed. So i turned around and waited and waited for about 30 mins for her to come out. Then Finally i said f this and as i was leaving I saw who I think was her chating with someone just casually as I was waiting. Then when I finally got home she called me and I did not answer. Is she trying to play hard to get because i showed interest and waited for her? Is she just TRYING to piss me off? Does she not like me? Was she scared of me waiting for her? should i forget about her? should i have answered the phone? thanks
  DC

• DC

  Oh BTW i dont want to date this girl. Just want to have sex with her.
  But anyway that was a killer answer dude. I really need to get dating power. I feel like I would not be asking all these questions if i had it. But Mastery Methods & Mindsets is awesome.

  • Dan Bacon

    Hey DC

    Interesting story mate – thanks for sharing.

    Congratulations on your success so far. Sounds like you had a lot of initial interest, but then lost that by trying too hard and possibly coming across as a bit desperate. Most women want to be the one who has to do a bit of the chasing, so they feel like they are lucky to be getting with you rather than the other way around. By hanging around her work and waiting all that time, it can signal that you are pretty desperate to get with her. It then gives HER the dating power, meaning: You place her in the position where she is calling the shots and deciding what happens and when (e.g. she told you to come back and you did. You then waited for 30 mins and even though you thought you might have seen her outside, you walked away with your tail between your legs. She called and you didn’t answer).

    What to do instead:

    – Don’t ask a girl if she is free for the weekend, because you’ll often get that response. I give clear examples of the correct wording to use in The Flow. The wording I provide ensures that you don’t get evasive, vague answers like the one you received, “I don’t know, I’m working two jobs.” If you’ve already read The Flow and didn’t use my wording for asking a girl out, stop for a second and give yourself a slap across the back of the head. When you use the wording I include in The Flow, a woman WANTS TO meet up with you and doesn’t play hard to get.

    – Don’t go to her work. If a woman really likes you then she will make an effort to SEE YOU outside of her work environment. You don’t have to go to her work and hang around waiting and hoping to see her. Get her to meet you somewhere for coffee, or get her to come over to your place for dinner or you go to her place for dinner. I mention how I get women over to my place for dates somewhere near the middle of this video: http://www.themodernman.com/videos/what_is_stopping_you.html

    About your questions:

    Q: Is she just TRYING to piss me off?
    A: Probably not. You’re most likely just thinking about it too much instead of focusing on moving things forward. Golden rule: Don’t worry about all the details or what a woman does – just keep moving things forward with confidence.

    Q: Does she not like me?
    A: Maybe losing interest now.

    Q: Was she scared of me waiting for her?
    A: Nah, probably not…unless you come across as a scary type of dude! Lol…

    Q: Should i forget about her?
    A: Definitely not. Move it forward.

    Q: Should i have answered the phone?
    A: Yes. Playfully tease her about making you wait and ask her how she’s going to make it up to you.

    You also said, “I really need to get dating power. I feel like I would not be asking all these questions if i had it” Indeed. You’re not using the Dating Power approach and that’s why women are playing hard to get and you’re ending up chasing. The Dating Power approach is to get women chasing you.

    Cheers
    Dan

• DC

  Wow! dan thank you for putting so much time and thought into these answers! We all really appreciate the effort! In return we buy your stuff!! haha
  I have one more questions about this whole thing..
  If I had a lot of initial interest how come so much time went by without her texting me? I texted her because… well.. shes freakin hot! And i was waiting for her to contact me first, trying to get in the one up position. But she never did! but she made out with me on the second date and begged me to come to her work the first time! I dont understand. thanks
  DC

  • Dan Bacon

    Hey DC

    You’re welcome mate.

    You said, “And i was waiting for her to contact me first, trying to get in the one up position. But she never did!” …no, no, nooooo. We haven’t ever said to do that. Initially, we recommend that you follow up (all explained in detail in Dating Power) and organize a catch up/date to get things going. That doesn’t give her the “dating power”…if you don’t understand why, you’ll need to watch Dating Power. It is 8 hours of video, so I can’t explain it all in a comment reply! Lol…

    Cheers
    Dan

• DC

  Oh BTW thanks for the golden rule. Im gonna start doing that! When I think about the details it kills me!!

• Johann

  Hey Dan,
  the FLOW has been helpful and I am reading over the whole using cocky humor part. My question is a side-step from that. I have been trying to figure out how I can be so good up front speaking to 50, 100, 200 people, and then in my one-on-one conversations or in smaller groups only being average. So my question is, what traits should I transfer from being up front to speaking one-on-one so that I can get the same attention and yet not look like I’m talking to a crowd?

  • Dan Bacon

    Hi Johann

    Thanks for your positive feedback and question.

    You’ll learn that from confidence building system that we teach in Dating Power. To help you out now though, here’s some advice:

    1. Change your mindset.

    Instead of telling yourself that you have a problem talking one on one, say to yourself, “Talking one on one or in front of a crowd is no different. I’m confident in both situations.

    2. Gather evidence of that new mindset.

    The next time you talk one on one with a person, pay attention to when you feel confident and then give yourself a “pat on the back for that”. Example, “Oh wow – cool! I did feel more confident there. I am improving. This is easy”

    For full instructions on how to use the confidence building system, watch Dating Power.

    Cheers
    Dan

    P.S. Since you’ve already purchased The Flow, use the contact us to get in touch with me. I will reply and give you a 50% off purchase link for Dating Power.

• DC

  Hey Dan!
  I have some questions. I have been improving so much on approaching women! Its great.

  My first question. Why it harder for me to approach women in bars vs. everyday places like bookstores, gas stations the mall? I cant figure it out.

  Second I think I might have found a friend (who is also looking to get better with women), to go out with and approach women. The first time that we were hanging out I was going to approach this girl in Hastings and I went back to old me and got a little nervous and didnt attract her very well. Was that because my friend was watching me? If so how do I get over this and show him I can attract women?

  Also, I want to buy another product because I loved Mastery Methods and Mindsets and because it has helped me beyond belief. So if I tell you what I am still struggling with maybe you can suggest something.
  I can approach women much eaiser now, I no longer think before I act, especially if she is showing signs of interest like eye contact or smiles ect. I can do SOME attracting but I’m still not solid on that. I seem to be getting better at getting a girl on a first date, but thats where I think I screw things up. I also screw things up on my follow up after the fist date. Remember my story about the girl who I made out with at the dog park but then didnt follow up correctly and then went to her work and waited for her and screw it all up? Well I think thats where I need help. Im thinking dating power. What do you think? And the flow was good too.

  Thanks a lot
  DC

  • Dan Bacon

    Hey DC

    Thanks for your positive feedback and questions.

    Question 1: I need more info on this. What sort of mindsets do you have about approaching women during the day vs. approaching at night?

    Question 2: This is a difficult one to overcome initially because you have little “evidence” in your own mind that you are good with women. The more evidence you have that you are good with women (e.g. you have interactions with women and the women show you interest, you get numbers, kiss and have sex with new women) the more you will feel confident interacting with new women in front of friends. In the meantime, just remember this: To be successful with women you should avoid trying to impress them because it makes you come across as desperate and needy. To have cool people like you and want to be your friend, you should avoid trying to impress them because it makes you come across as desperate and needy.

    Question 3: Yes, I definitely think Dating Power is for you because we explain the start to finish process from approach to sex and into a relationship. We cover every step of the way to ensure you cannot fail at any point in the process from approach to sex and into a relationship. In Dating Power, I also explain our exclusive “Confidence Building System” that (like everything else we reveal in our products) we tested for years with real clients before recording it and making it available via this site. That system will help you with the issue you mentioned in Question 2, as well as improving your confidence with women and in all areas of life.

    Cheers
    Dan

• DC

  Ok. I think I have figured it out. I can approach a girl I like during the day if I am by myself and she is also alone. Alone as in not with a group of friends or even with one friend but maybe browsing at some kind of store just by herself. I think there is less pressure because it would be just me and her. My mindset is “there is really no big deal to this, because its just me and her, If I screw up oh well”

  I think at a club there are so many people and I am usually by myself and she would be with friends or even surrounded by a bunch of people in the club. I feel much more comfortable approaching one girl vs. two or even a group. To be honest my mindset in a club is “dont look like an idiot, dont look like an idiot, dont look like an idiot, dont look like an idiot, dont look like an idiot” Thx
  DC

  • Dan Bacon

    Hi DC

    The solution to that is Mindset #1 in Mastery Methods & Mindsets.

    Cheers
    Dan

• Isaac

  Hey Dan.

  About 3 weeks ago I met this girl at the mall, I approached to her and we talked for a while, then I looked her up at facebook, through her other friend who was with her. well thing is, the OTHER friend (the one I was not talking to) starts chatting with me on FB And asks me for my number, we started talking and she would get very evasive and cold whenever I asked something about her friend (the one I talked to first) and after a few weeks of talking, she just stopped replying EVERYWHERE, but yesterday she sent me a message saying she was sorry and all that…waht should I do? is she interested or just playing with me?

  • Dan Bacon

    Hi Isaac

    Thanks for your question.

    First up – congratulations and props to you for approaching women in a shopping mall. Awesome to hear! (For anyone reading along who wants to know how to approach women in shopping malls, we explain it in detail in 21 Great Ways to Get a Girlfriend).

    About your question: You should not waste any more time talking to her on Facebook. Conversations on Facebook usually fizzle out because the two people get distracted and life moves on. Meet her in person, kiss her and escalate to sex. Until you do, you’re nothing but a friend or vague “boyfriend interest” for her. You will be forgotten as soon as another guy comes along who kisses her and then has sex with her.

    Cheers
    Dan

• Isaac

  And I dont quite get the “play hard to get”. So I need to…show lack of interest? I mean being somewhat “cold” to her? in my experience when I started acting “cold” to women they would not answer back or started texting me, quite the opposite in fact they stopped talking to me…isnt that a turn off for them?

  • Dan Bacon

    Hi Isaac

    Thanks for your question.

    We explain that in Dating Power. It’s not about showing a lack of interest – everyone has tried that and it rarely works. The strategy we explain the section called “Making Women Chase You” works every time and is based on being honest and sincere rather than pretending to not be interested. All of our methods, techniques and strategies are based on honesty and being real – no tricks needed.

    Cheers
    Dan

• Tony

  CLASS A advice! The flow was the first book i’ve ever read when i started my journey on becoming alpha and better with women and since than i’ve read MANY other dating books but nothing even comes close to the flow. BUY IT! do it now. I’m speaking from experience, I read this my senior yr of hs and after 3 years of being an average joe, i made my last year of high school MEANINGFUL and best of all, a kick ass good time. This book is very self empowering and comes with everything you possibly need. I’m not from Australian, but cheers indeed to the modern man for helping the real masculine and confident men in us everywhere!

  • Dan Bacon

    Hi Tony

    Thanks for sharing your positive feedback.

    Enjoy the great times ahead with women! It only gets better and better from where you are now…

    Cheers
    Dan

• Iain

  Hi Dan,

  Just wondering, when it comes down to compliments with women, is it good to compliment a women if she looks good even if you don’t know her, or will this instantly give her the impression that she can have you eating out the palm of her hand so to speak and that you are not a challange for her. Just sometimes women look amazing and I want to tell them, do you think it could come across badly? or is it something you should wait for when you are actually dating them?
  This doesn;t have to be relating to looks by the way, even if there is something you notice in regards to their personality.

  • Dan Bacon

    Hi Iain

    Thanks for your question.

    Compliments are powerful when used correctly. We explain the ins and outs of compliments in The Ultimate Guide to Conversation: http://store.themodernman.com/products/the_ultimate_guide_to_conversation.php

    About your question: A woman will only receive such a compliment well if you make her feel attraction for you first. Read The Flow and learn the correct process to follow when approaching and talking to women. Unless you can take her through Steps 1 & 2 of The Flow immediately, a compliment like that will not be received well in most cases. Most guys don’t realize that they are going against the flow of a natural sexual courtship and compliment a woman at the wrong time, thus leading to a rejection and further confusion on how to approach women.

    Cheers
    Dan

• DC

  Hi dan! Its been a while. I have been doing pretty ok in the women department. I have met one girl who really really really likes me. She wants to date me but I dont want to because I dont want to be tied down. I told her this and she is ok with it and she still wants to hang out! its great!! but anyway….
  I have a question. I have been going to my local shopping mall and approaching girls. I got a phone number from one girl who I thought I attracted and connected with really well. Then there was a second girl that I KNOW I attracted with and connected with really well. I made her laugh countless times. We talked, she touched me when she really didnt need to as in putting her hand on my back and touching my arm and stuff like that. She was showing my a lot of signs of interest. There was one point where I was about to ask for her number and she was behind the counter (where she worked) and next to another guy who worked there. Having that guy there I guess made me lose my balls. I still havent developed the mindset of “people dont really care”. But after that I felt embarrassed to ask for her number in front of him. I made an awkward situation and I left. I hate myself for it. But anyway I came back and we talked a little and she said that “I bailed on her” but she gave me her number anyway but she acted like she was not happy with me. I still made her smile and laugh the second time I came by. Soooooo on to my question. I have texted both these girls. They have both responded only once and that was hours ago. How long should I wait untill I respond two times in a row to a text? I dont want to come off as desperate but I want to pursue these girls. Especially the second one because we really connected so well. What do you think of the whole thing?
  I still have a lot to learn. thanks!
  -DC

  • Dan Bacon

    Hi DC

    Congratulations on your success using the Dating Power techniques so far! Awesome to hear that you approached, used the techniques and got results.

    About your question: It doesn’t matter if you respond to her quickly, but like Mark explains in his interview, you should mix things up:
    http://www.themodernman.com/get_her_begging_to_be_your_girlfriend.html

    Also, go back and watch the section in Dating Power where Ben explains how to follow up and when to use text messages.

    You said, “I dont want to come off as desperate but I want to pursue these girls.” Generally speaking, you’ll only come off as desperate if you actually ARE desperate. Pursuing a girl is fine, as long as you’re not desperately chasing her.

    Keep pushing forward like you have been mate. It sounds like you’re almost there and are now beginning to get used to having the “dating power” over women.

    Cheers
    Dan

• Manny

  Lil’ backstory: I bought your products a few months before I turned 18. It helped me get a vast amount of confidence talking to women and losing my virginity about 6 months later. I honestly feel that The Modern Man products are a part of who I am, the mindsets and the ability to talk to anyone, not just women, confidently at any place and any time. Now, around the beginning of last February, I turned it up a notch, no longer just getting #’s at the bar, or a one night stand with some random chick, because honestly, even though I had been following The Modern Man for about a year and a half at that point, I had only taken a couple girls out on dates. Since February I was taking about 3-4 girls out on any given week, and honestly found it to be a lot more fun than just the pick-up aspect. I’ve taken out and had sex with more girls in the last year or so than I ever thought possible, honestly. But, one thing all those girls had in common, is that I never liked them nearly as much as they liked me.

  I didn’t bullshit any girl, I didn’t lie, I didn’t give compliments I didn’t genuinely feel were true, and I still don’t even with this girl.

  This girl I’m taking out now, been about four or four and a half months, is the first girl I’ve ever done anything with that I actually feel something for. I’m doing and saying things I would have never done with any other girl. For instance, today I called her maybe no more than 3-4 times and left her a message. Not that she was ignoring me, she texted me later and let me know she tried to call me but my phone’s retarded at times and doesn’t always accept phone calls. (she’s not the only one it’s happened to). But I texted her and apologized for calling her phone so much… (I know, why the hell should I apologize for something like that?!) She did, however, respond letting me know “you never need to apologize for calling. My bad for not picking up”…

  I guess the question I’m driving at is, “How do I get the power back?” How do I make it so I’m not the one scared of losing her, and make the way it was with the other girls, where they were the ones scared of losing me? What can I do to make her feel that way, and know she feels that way? I guess what I’m asking is tips on how to manipulate her and that’s f-ed up, and not at all how I meant it… but I hope you know where I’m coming from.
  I don’t wanna lose this one.

  Any advice you have would be much appreciated.

  Thanks,
  Manny

  P.S. – I read about the situation you mentioned in one post, (I don’t remember which), where you had 3 girlfriends at the time, one of which was a stripper, and they were all vying for you attention simultaneously. That’s where I was, and I lost it, I want to find it again.

  • Dan Bacon

    Hi Manny

    Great to hear of your success using our advice.

    You were getting plenty of sex, women were chasing you and then you met a girl who made you stop doing what made you successful with women in the first place. Lol…classic. I did the same thing in the early days when I was first working out The Flow. I met a girl who I really, really liked and thought, “She’s different…I don’t need to worry about maintaining my power because we have such a great connection” …and it backfired! Before too long, she stopped chasing and I started to panic, worrying that I would lose her. I began to read into things she said or did, thinking that she was losing interest. She noticed the change in me and began to feel like she was more valuable than me (out of my league, so to speak).

    I turned it though and so can you.

    How? Stop and realize that you CAN get other girls just as beautiful and interesting as her. If you don’t believe that you can, you will most-likely continue to act needy and the situation will get worse. If you do believe it, you will be able to ALLOW YOURSELF go back to having the type of confidence that women are magnetically attracted to. It’s a decision that you need to make in your heart and mind.

    A great way to get more of that belief back is to use the techniques you’ve learned from us when you interact with women in everyday situations. Make the women attracted to you and REMEMBER that you still have it. As you know, it is EASY to attract and pick up women when you use our techniques. Use the techniques and remind yourself of the power you have.

    Your girlfriend wants to feel lucky to have you, not the other way around. Get that confidence back and enjoy your relationship. Love is a beautiful thing – enjoy it, don’t destroy it with unnecessary insecurities.

    Cheers
    Dan

    • Manny

      Thanks Dan,

      “Unnecessary Insecurities,” that’s what I think to myself everytime I go through the slump of trying to figure out whether or not she’s into me, and you’re absolutely right about it all. When I was at my best it was because I KNEW I could get any woman I wanted, and I still can.

      I will prove to myself that I can again, even if it’s flirting with the barista at starbucks, or having some fun when I go out to drink with my friends.

      Need to get my head back to the attitude where I would tell myself “This girl’s lucky to be hanging out with me.” and get that great confidence back so I that exude it wherever I go.

      Thanks Dan.

      Manny

    • Dan Bacon

      You’re welcome Manny!

      By the way: The best way to get that confidence back is to do exactly what you’re planning to do…but, don’t stop at just flirting with the women you meet. You’ll get your full mojo and confidence back when you’re having sex with new women (especially if they are hotter than you normally get).

      Eventually, when you get to my level, the mojo and confidence stays with you all the time. Personally, I have 3 girls on the go at the moment so I’m rollin’ with a swagger that is drawing even more women in. I love how it works! We’re so lucky to have been born as men and be able to have so much dating power regardless of our appearance.

      Enjoy the great times ahead. I hope to hear a success story from you soon!

      Cheers
      Dan

• Graham

  All these above stories make me realise what i’ve missed out on for most of my miserable life. I had almost zero confidence at uni, remained a virgin till i was 23, and only managed to get laid with the most unatractive obese female in a nightclub one night, and the irony was, she rejected me afterwards. Hmm! typical. But i know i have a lot to learn, and the best place would be to buy all your products over time, startinf with the flow. Ps, i only ever seem to attract the women that no guy wants, let alone date and have sex with.

  • Dan Bacon

    Hi Graham

    Sorry to hear about your lack of success with women so far in life, but yes – we are here to help you fix that!

    You deserve better mate, so give yourself permission to become the man that women lust after. Allow yourself to be the man who chooses women instead of hoping to be chosen. You don’t have to accept second best, third best or nothing at all. You can and will have choice with women when you use the right approach.

    Looking forward to seeing a success story posted up by you sometime soon!

    Cheers
    Dan

• Walter

  Hey Dan, it’s me again, Walter.

  I just want to say that the section in your e-book, “The Flow,” assuming rapport, is simply golden. You see, I’ve just started my new job and everyone in the office simply love me. I was a bit awkward at first because I’m really not used to being popular(Like girls initiating eye contact with you in the elevator and whenever you pass by the lobby) but yeah, I’m getting used to it now.

  Oh and yeah, well, I also have a question. Well, there are a lot of pretty women at my workplace, and I’ve decided that It’s high time I get myself an honest-to-goodness girlfriend. (and not just an f.buddy) I met this girl and followed “the flow,” and it turned out great. I escalated to kissing her by the end of the week (yeah probably too slow for you guy’s standards hahaha). Actually, I was still deliberating with myself whether or not it was the right time to kiss her, but I just thought, “what the hell I’ll just go with it.” And so I did. I looked at her face afterwards and she was beet red, and she was smiling giddily. (So basically, no violent reactions whatsoever)
  And then we parted ways because the train had come (Yes, it was on a train station, after work. Because I usually walk with her up to the train station when going home)

  What I found puzzling whatever, was what happened the day after.

  The day after that happened, she wasn’t as warm as she was anymore before I kissed her. Like before, whenever I sat besides her during lunch break, she would rest her head on my shoulder and playfully get my fork to “steal” my food. She also had that habit of calling out my name playfully like “Walllterrr~~~~~” Now, when I sit besides her, she would turn away to chat with her friends. She’s giving me the cold shoulder I guess?

  What does it mean Dan? Is it her way of telling me that she’s not interested? Or is she just playing the ‘HARD-TO-GET’ card? And if it is the latter, how do I turn the tables around again?

  Thanks in advance, man.

  • Dan Bacon

    Hey Walter

    Congratulations on your success so far!

    Wow, her reaction the next day was quite weird, but she’s most-likely worried about the relationship causing problems for her at work. Read this.

    I recommend you approach her when she’s alone and talk to her about it in a lighthearted, easy-going manner. Smile, be relaxed and be chilled out.

    Example:

    You: Hey Jessica! [Smile and have an easy-going, friendly vibe towards her]
    Her: Hey Walter.
    You: Hey, I wanted to talk to you about what happened at the train station. [Smile and have an easy-going, friendly vibe towards her]
    Her: [She says something].
    You: I don’t know if the whole thing made you uncomfortable or anything, but I just thought I’d say it’s all cool and happy that we’re just friends. [Smile and have an easy-going, friendly vibe towards her]

    If she doesn’t want to be just friends, she’ll then make it obvious with her signals of interest. If she keeps pushing to show that she likes you, leave it for a few days and let her continue to show signals of interest. Then, organize a catch up outside of work.

    Cheers
    Dan

    • Walter

      Hey Dan, thanks again for the advice. I just talked to her this morning. Nothing heavy, just your usual light-hearted but meaningful chat. I just found out that she started seeing another guy a few days ago prior to me kissing her. So I’m assuming that she’s confused. No biggie though, like I said, LOTS of beautiful women at work.

      Cheers!

• DC

  Hey dan!!
  Hey man you have no idea, I feel like I am soo close to having the “dating power”. I am an approach machine too!! I have approached a lot of attractive girls on the street that I see as I am driving by. Its a lot of fun. I know what I am missing. Conversation. I’m going to buy the “Ultimate Guide to Conversation” when I get the money. I have a question for you. I started a conversation with this girl at a coffee shop near my city’s University. We talked and talked and then eventually she just had so much to tell me that she basically took over the conversation. It was hot and boring in the coffee shop so I suggested that we go to the University’s duck pond to feed the ducks like Stu! hahaha! Anyway it was dark and with no one out there but she still wanted to go! I was surprised that she trusted me that much just after knowing me for like 2 hours. Big success in my eyes. I was having trouble initiating some touching because I wanted to start off holding her hand but she kept her hands in her pockets because it was cold outside. Anyway we never kissed or anything because I never really saw the chance.
  So after getting her number, I reviewed the “follow up” video on dating power. You were right, I was doing it all wrong by starting off with texts after getting a number. So instead I called her and she answered. I was a nervous asshole though :(. I was talking quiet and not very confident. So she kept asking me “what?” “I cant hear you”. There was a lot of background noise coming from her phone. She asked if it was ok if she called me later and I said sure. That was last night. If she does not call me back should I call her or just forget her?
  Second, do you have a Facebook account? If so can I add you?
  Another question, how in the hell did you not give up when you first started to get better with women? I imagine that you were getting shut down like crazy when you first started out! Most men would have quit, I know it! I ask because I have huge dreams of my own and I’m asking for adivce on not giving up.
  Dan, thanks again for everything you do for us “non-naturals”!!
  DC
  Again, thanks for everything you do!

  • Dan Bacon

    Hey DC

    Great to hear of your success!

    About that girl: You could’ve hugged her because it was cold. Check out “The Hug Technique” here: http://www.themodernman.com/dating/articles/new-years-eve-kiss.html

    About Facebook: I use my FB profile for non Modern Man stuff. Add me here: https://plus.google.com/103289968167481759992/posts

    About giving up: Read the updated version of The Flow and go to the section where I talk about how I changed my mindsets and pushed through. It’s on page 202.

    Cheers
    Dan

• Amrish NZ

  Dan I have a question for you,. a girl in my class has recently been coming over to my desk in class & watching everything I do. When I turn around to look at her when I realize she was behind me the whole time, She just walks off without saying a word or even smiling. She has done this a few times & sometimes I don’t even notice that she is there.
  Do you know why she acts this way?

  • Dan Bacon

    Hi Amrish

    Thanks for your question.

    It doesn’t matter why she does anything that she does. All that matters is that you talk to her and go through The Flow and have sex (and a relationship if you want) with her.

    If you want something to say to her. Turn around, smile and laugh at the situation:

    Amrish: Hey, it’s you again! You’re a crack up. So, you want to help me with my work huh? You can do my homework if you want.
    Girl: [Laughing].

    Cheers
    Dan

    • Amrish NZ

      Thanks Dan

      I have some ideas as well since she was a Japanese teacher for 3 years.
      I’m gonna try using humour by saying something about her beating her students with a stick when they were misbehaving & she through anything or everything at them when they drove her up the wall 🙂

• david b

  Hey dan sorry I forgot about your rule…well I didn’t wait around I approached her and playfully questioned her for not messaging me back with “I guess women don’t like me” tactic you taught in the flow…she said she barely gets on facebook that’s why but…..anyway I just reacted and she’s less serious than I thought and insinuated her taking me to prom with her by flirting and left with a smile….the question I guess is just trying to not think to hard about using the tactics and doing them without thinking from the flow….ill be getting 21 ways soon so I hope that helps….anyways thanks I’m slowly becoming a believer ill keep you updated

  • Dan Bacon

    Hi David

    Thanks for sharing your progress!

    It’s always great to read these type of comments and see the transition to success. Keep practicing the techniques and eventually it will be natural for you (i.e. you won’t have to think about it, you’ll do the correct things automatically every time).

    Cheers
    Dan

• david b

  Oh and how do I know when I can move in to step 3 or basically how do I know when she’s been attracted enough?

  • Dan Bacon

    Hi David

    If a woman isn’t attracted, she will usually stop talking to you and walk away, or she will make it obvious that she doesn’t like you. So, if a woman stays and wants to continue the conversation, go through the remaining steps until you get to kissing, sex and relationship (if you want that).

    Cheers
    Dan

• Fernando

  I’ve been failing all my life in this matter. I really relate with Dan’s experience since i’ve just got the worst experience in terms of failing with girls i really liked. Most of the time i really did not know what was wrong with me, usually my self confidence would be crunched and my life will go in a verge of madness and depression as past experiences would remind me that i was basically NOT able to get the girl i wanted. Surfing the internet i just got here and although i haven’t acquired the ebook just yet, i’ve watched every video and read every single inch of the website and i’m afraid you can imagine my surprise!!! since every single mistake i made is described here as what we as men are NOT SUPPOSED To DO. Now i finally understand everything was my fault and i really know what to change now. I just figured out that this could be a great start and instead of feeling depressed and hating myself now i know everything is possible for me as a man. Kicking off this weekend!! Thanks for all your help guys!!

  • Dan Bacon

    Hi Fernando

    Thanks for your positive feedback mate.

    I’m glad you’ve been able to learn a great deal from all the free advice on the site. If you like what you’ve been learning so far, you will LOVE The Flow. It is jam-packed with techniques and insights that will blow your mind and provide the transformation (to a confident, attractive man) that you’ve been looking for.

    You can change mate – keep believing in yourself like you are starting to do now. Remember that your past does not equal your future. Change your approach and your results will change. Enjoy the great times ahead!

    Cheers
    Dan

• Dan

  Hey Dan, read the flow and found there to be alot of great stuff in it.

  There is this one girl who was in one of my college classes who i find attractive. she is definitly one of the “cool girls” who likes to party. I sat next to her in class but we didnt talk much and when we did it was the boring “where do you work?”, whats your major?” kinda stuff. However, i got her number the first class and texted her a few times. unfortunatly i was drunk when i texted her so probably made a fool out of myself.
  Ironically enough she was put into another one of my classes and i am forced to be in a group project with her and another girl. Well we all met together to work on the project and instead of being a “good little boy” i persistantly teased her and the other girl. They teased me back and i had both girls laughing at everything i said. However, when the other girl went out for a smoke and i had the girl i liked one-on-one..i tried to ask her questions and find out more about her and be a little more “serious” but she gave me quick answers and started looking around and saying “when is (*insert other girls name) getting back?”…

  she seemed very uncomfortable when we where one on one and after the other girl came back she started to laugh at the things i said and did even when they werent funny….Did i come across as too goofy? did i make her laugh too much? i couldnt think of very interesting questions to ask when we where one on one either… It was almost as if she didnt respect me and thought that i couldnt be serious…

  • Dan Bacon

    Hey Dan

    Thanks for your positive feedback and question.

    Good on you for trying – it’s obvious that you are already making a lot of progress and heading in the right direction. However, you are making one key mistake: You are trying to hard. She has probably noticed and now she is playing hard to get. Read the section on Assume Rapport again – it sounds like you’re trying to get what you already have with her…and that is turning her off.

    Cheers
    Dan

    • Dan

      Hey Dan thanks for the response.

      But if i assume rapport and be more open and friendly toward her wont that make it seem like im trying even harder? she seems like she would be creeped out and shut down if i talk to her in an “i already know you so we are cool to talk about anything” kind of way.

      For instance: i tried giving her the “nice job: high five” and it was probably the quickest high five ive ever had in my life.
      Im really not sure what i have with her. she doesnt seem comfortable in front of me…i dont know if that is because she is nervous because she likes me or is just creeped out by me.

    • Dan Bacon

      Hi Dan

      You’re welcome.

      Even by your response I can see that you are trying too hard with her. Stop worrying about what she will think and start doing whatever you want. Women don’t reward weakness in men. You will need to regain her respect by being a man, not by trying to get her approval for your actions.

      Cheers
      Dan

• Frank

  Hi Dan,

  I saw you could help a lot of guys out there and so I thought maybe you could have an advice for me. Here is some information you could need to give me a good advice, I’d be happy if you could do that!

  So obviously the reason I’m here is a girl. When I met her I really was stunned, not just because shes quite attractive but also because she is smart and nice in a way not a lot of girls are.
  But let’s get to the point. The thing is she has a boyfriend. For me this is a no-go area because I’m not the kind of a guy who tries to “steal girls” from their boyfriends. I think that’s not pretty cool and on the other hand you should have a look at it from the perspective of that guy who seems to be happy with her.
  So she became part of our clique and a friend of mine. We get along really well and apparently she’s quite happy when she’s around me. I think that’s obviously as I can see it in her eyes when she looks and talks to me. But anyway, she still has a boyfriend so I didn’t do anything. In the last few days (maybe like two or three weeks) I could get the information that it isn’t going well with her boyfriend. She started to complain about him when she talked to other girls from our group and I heard a few things (but could not follow their conversation). I don’t know anything special and I don’t wanna know the details, but apparently she got quite unhappy with him. She isn’t concentrating anymore on her college stuff and I can see that. When she’s looking at messages he sends her she reads it in a way like if she’s thinking whether this relationship is at its end. At least that’s the impression I get when I look at her reading it because she always gets sad when this happens.
  Most of the time when this happens I try to mess around with her to get her a little more happy again. I really got good at it and I realized she started to look at me in a different way.
  Honestly I got the idea that she is checking out if I was a better option for her. She’s touching me more and more, she tries to keep eye contact more and stuff like this. Our conversations got more exciting because it isn’t anymore just about college stuff. (The only thing she isn’t doing is sending me a lot of text messages when we aren’t together, just the usual stuff.)
  As you can think I’m really excited about the situation because I can see a chance for me. At least I think there could be one. I do have feelings for her but had to keep them for me cause I didn’t want to ruin our friendship.
  Now as her relationship seems to come to its end I need your advice what to do. How to react when she splits up with her boyfriend? She will feel miserable and angry, that’s for sure. What do you expect me to do? Of course I did spend much time to get a solution by myself but as it could happen each day I get the feeling that I should have a good advice from someone who really has a clue. Honestly I couldn’t figure out what would be the best reaction. She isn’t just a girl I saw on the street and if I get a chance it will be one chance, not two or three.
  I hope you understand what’s going on because I, honestly, get more and more confused. I tried to keep my feelings for her as small as possible because I had bad experiences with a similar case. But now my feelings grow bigger and bigger and I cannot control it the way I’d like to.
  Or eventually I’m seeing more in the situation than there is. It really struggles me.

  So please mate, tell me what to do or at least my possibilities.
  Cheers, Harry

  • Dan Bacon

    Hi Frank/Harry

    Thanks for your question.

    I’m not one to help a guy steal another guy’s girl, but if what you’re saying is true – it’s sounds like they are going to break up soon. So, if and when they do, here’s what you should do…

    The short answer is that it has nothing to do with your feelings – you have to get her attracted to you, rather than be her chummy friend. It seems like you’ve been hanging around, being a good friend and hoping that she eventually likes you and chooses you – that’s not how it’s done. Girls lead guys like you on and the guy usually ends up in the situation you are – thinking about your feelings like a lovesick girl would.

    Learn how to attract her and make her have feelings for YOU. At the moment, you are going against the flow of nature with your approach to her. It will most likely backfire with you being stuck in the friend zone unless you change your approach to her. Read The Flow.

    Cheers
    Dan

• Frank

  Hi Dan,

  thanks for your quick reply. (BTW, you can call me Harry, actually Frank is my real name but my friends used to call me Harry … long story)

  A friend of mine told me about The Flow (and that’s how I found you). He basically pointed out most of the things you talk in your book, like having confidence and so on.
  So I see what you’re up to. But a lot of things in The Flow are about getting to know girls and in my case I do know her.
  So what do you mean with changing my approach?

  One thing I’m always thinking about is this:

  I guess one of the main reasons they will break up is her having a lot to do. She doesn’t have much time cause of her activities and stuff like that. But most of this time she spends at college (with our clique) and by learning for college. Our subject is quite hard and it is a lot to do. Apparently her BF doesn’t get along with this. So as we study together, do you suggest I can take advantage out of this? If so, what would be the best way?
  One example is she always asks me the stuff she doesn’t get. Now I thought maybe she is using me by asking all this stuff just to get her answers. How can I avoid this but at the same time still stay the one she asks, like because she needs my help but not just in a way to get the information. I dunno how to explain it properly, but do you see what i mean?

  • Dan Bacon

    Hi Harry

    You’re welcome mate.

    You are making a fundamental mistake in how you are approaching the situation – you’ll see what I mean when you actually read The Flow. Also, when she asks you for answers, you can flirt with her instead of just answering all of her questions in a straightforward manner. However, I have to refrain from giving any further advice about this because it goes against my principles to teach a guy how to steal another guy’s GF. Read The Flow and you will find that it’s not just about getting to know girls, it’s about ATTRACTING them sexually and emotionally.

    Cheers
    Dan

• Amrish NZ

  Hey Dan, I finished read the flow & I did approach that female in my class who was a Japanese teacher for 3 years.
  I knew what I wanted to say but when I did approach her, everything went blank & I ended up having a emotionally guarded conversation feeling real nervous.
  I tried to make it interesting & eliminate that nervousness when I brought up the movie she liked.
  I joked about the part where the guy with the vegan powers gets stripped of his powers form the vegan police & asked her what was her favourite part of the movie(Scott Pilgrim Vs The World).
  Her response was that she just found it funny & said nothing else. Most of her answers were short.
  I ended the conversation without hesitation saying I’ll talk to her later which I didn’t do .
  She only just made initial eye contact but she didn’t ignore me nor did she laugh at me after I left her desk.

  Am I trying too hard or am I still acting weak around her?

  • Dan Bacon

    Hi Amrish

    Thanks for your question.

    Yes, you are trying too hard. You don’t understand yet that YOU are in the position of power…if you hand that over to a woman, she will take it and accept that you are a weak man. Don’t do that to yourself. You really need to watch these new videos (especially Better Than a Bad Boy and Alpha Male Power): http://www.themodernman.com/videos/4-new-mastery-level-video-programs.html

    Cheers
    Dan

    • Amrish NZ

      Hey Dan

      Thanks for that, the truth is I wasn’t trying to hand over all the power.
      I previously had a crush on her & things didn’t go well after I found she had a boyfriend last year. I went through deep depression & also ended up being a angry guy which scared her & even her friends started disliking me.
      We were quite close friends before but now she sees me as nothing, plus now she has a crush on someone else since she broke up with her ex last year & unfortunately she is a average looking female.
      The bad experience I had with her has made me bitter about women & I have to see her everyday.
      I don’t understand yet that I’m in the position of power because I haven’t yet realized how to use it.
      I’m no longer gonna approach her as she is very moody & I’ve completely lost interest in her.
      I don’t approach any females in my class since most of them don’t like me.

    • Dan Bacon

      Hi Amrish

      Thanks for your comment.

      Yes, you weren’t trying to hand over the power, but you did. I know that you’re trying mate and I feel for you. I recommend that you stop trying to approach women in your class (you’ve said this in your last comment, which is good) and go out to meet women in bars. You need to start having sex with a few women to realize how much power you really do have. Have you got some buddies to go out approaching with? If not, listen to 21 Great Ways to Get a Girlfriend – many of the ways don’t require you to go approaching with friends and several of the ways help you to make new friends, while also meeting women.

      You need to get some positive experiences under your belt with women. You’ve made a bad impression on the women at your university, so stop trying to do anything there. Get out and meet new women, have good experiences and let your confidence build. The girls at your uni are only going to bring you down for now. Later, when you are confident (from your positive experiences) the girls at uni will notice the difference and treat you better.

      For any guy who wants to make more friends, read this: http://www.themodernman.com/social/friendship/making_new_friends.html

      Cheers
      Dan

    • Amrish NZ

      Hey Dan

      Thanks for you r comment

      I feel a lot better now that you told me that.
      I will follow your advice & meet women outside the classroom in bars & else where,especially the gym I got to.
      I don’t have any buddies to go out to approach women but I’ll make new ones so I can approach them. Otherwise I’ll use the techniques from The Flow, to meet women at other places like the supermarket, coffee shop etc.

      Take care, its great that someone like you understands what I’m going through 🙂

      Thanks again

    • Dan Bacon

      You’re welcome mate.

      You deserve better than to be treated how those girls are currently treating you because you’re obviously a good guy, with good intentions. Just remember though, when you start respecting yourself (by not dropping your status or handing over your power. Not in an arrogant way, but in a relaxed, confident way) women will start to respect you. Go back and re-read the section on Assume Rapport and Attraction in The Flow if you haven’t already.

      Looking forward to hearing a success story from you.

      Cheers
      Dan

• Jose

  i need your help this girl i show to much attention im just trying to be her friend but she wont act like my friend even tho she said we are
  how do i fix this

  • Dan Bacon

    Hi Jose

    Thanks for your question.

    Dude, you’re doing it wrong. You want to have sex with her and for her to be your girlfriend, but you’re trying to be her FRIEND. Jose, read The Flow and learn how to do it properly: http://store.themodernman.com/products/the_flow.php Trying to be her friend is DISHONEST. Be honest, real and masculine and move things forward to a kiss, then sex and THEN she’ll be your girlfriend.

    Cheers
    Dan

• Jared

  Hi Dan,

  Quick question please. Why do I seem to always attract the girls I never meant to attract and never attract the girls I tried to spark attraction to? Hope the question ain’t that confusing to read.

  Cheers.

  • Dan Bacon

    Hi Jared

    Thanks for your question.

    The women you want feel stronger than you and thus can’t feel proper attraction for you. Watch this video for more info: http://www.themodernman.com/videos/better-than-a-bad-boy.html

    Cheers
    Dan

• Marco

  Hi Dan.
  I have one request for you. I would really like you to write article about one specific topic. I guess you have ton of experience, yours and also guys close to you, and your students, so your insight on this one would be interesting to hear. Topic is settling down for a obviously wrong girl, just because you dont have anything better at that moment, or not realising that you do have better options, but you are so obssesed with first one that you dont see it. I must say that i was also victim of this i must say „selfdestructing“ behaviour, but when i finished my school, and acomlish myself in my job ( lawyer) i become aware of who i am,what i worth, and what i deserve, so i mennage to snap myself out of it. But i also see everyday around me guys in that position all around me ( my good friends, but also guys i just know).
  I really dont want to disrespect anybody and generalise people by occupation, but the thing is this. For examle my case (2 years ago): I began some sort of relationship with a waitress. Lawyer and a waitress, imagine that. And do you think she knew to appreciate that she was in relationship with someone who is mush more accomplished in life than her? NOOO my brother !!! I think I was cool “down to earth” guy, i didn’t behave like snob, like I was the prize ( which for her I obviously was ), but on the other hand she did act like that, like I couldn’t possibly find someone better than her, and I should be luckiest man on earth for beeing with her. I want to explaine that I am not a wussy guy(I would be terrible lawyer if I was ha ha ) I am not someone you can toy with, but I am also not a jerk, just a normal, friendly guy. I was lucky to realise my mistake in time and dump her. Only thing that she didn’t do wrong while beeing with me is cheat on me, but I think that is only because she knew that I am very lets say “ sensitive” about that, and that I could make her problems beyond her imagination should I find out that she did that. My problem is now in the past, by I told you I see my story all around me, great, succesfull guys ( lawyers, doctors, architects, businessmen…) with waitresses, saleswoman, girls with no job or school what so ever etc. Now my way of thinking is DON’T MAKE COMPROMISE, DON’T SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS THAN WHAT YOU DESERVE. But like I sad in the beginning I would like you to write some article about this topic, it would mean a lot for every guy that reads it.
  And I have one question for you, because I clearly don’t understand women that much.
  I really cant figure this one – how those girls don’t appreciate what they have ?

  • Dan Bacon

    Hi Marco

    Thanks for your question.

    I was wondering how you could be a lawyer when you were making a few grammatical mistakes in your writing, but then I saw your e-mail address and can see you are from Russia. You speak very good English for a Russian man – well done. I am thinking of learning how to speak Russian next year, but I am not sure because I might be going to live in Jamaica. Black women are hot…

    About girls and occupations: The thing is, as a masculine man who has purpose in life (i.e. you are a man who is aiming to achieve big things over the long term of your life) you don’t need a woman to also have an amazing career. It doesn’t matter if she’s a waitress. In fact, it is often a bad mix to have both the man and the woman be very focussed on their career because both become too masculine, which then ruins the sexual attraction. If you can be a LOT more masculine that the woman (watch Better Than a Bad Boy to learn), then it is fine to have a career woman as your girl. No matter how much of a high position she takes on or how masculine she behaves, you will still be the man and you will be the masculine one.

    About your article request: I have already written similar articles. See: http://www.themodernman.com/dating/relationships/is_she_the_right_woman_for_you.html and http://www.themodernman.com/dating/relationships/opposites_attract_but_do_they_stay_attracted.html

    Cheers
    Dan

• tosin

  Hey Marco,
  If I understand your question you are basically asking why a girl who is like a waiter or saleswoman would still not automatically feel lucky that she is in a relationship with a guy that is a ‘lawyer’ or a ‘doctor’ and why even with this so called gap in ‘social status’ she still acts like its the guy who is the lucky one. Well, my take on this is that just because a guy is doctor or a lawyer or even a billionaire businessman it doesn’t make a difference to a woman as to the level of respect she gives to the guy. REAL status and dominance with women has little or nothing to do with position you hold or how much money you have. Its all about what the status/dominance play is between you and a woman. That’s why you would see guys that don’t have money or even a job dating attractive money and the women respecting them and continually trying to impress them. Just because you have money or a fancy job does not automatically accord you respect with women, in fact it may work against you because you may begin to reason that you can/need to buy a woman into your life. What women are really interested in is hoe much of a dominant man you really are on the inside, how masculine to are, how much self-respect you have for yourself and if you would really assert yourself as the more dominant one in the relationship, all of which women continually test. The moment she sees herself as the more dominant person, you have given her control of the steering wheels of the relationship and you are already the submissive one. No amount of money, or fancy job is going to make a difference.

  This is my personal opinion, Dan , what do you think?

  P.S – Dan black women are hot? Dude , that’s old news. Lol. Our women are black, shapely, curvy and proud. You don’t know what you are missing. Come over to the black side.

  • Dan Bacon

    Hey Tosin

    Yes, you are correct. However, it’s not Marco’s fault for thinking that way. If you pay attention to what TV advertisements say, what characters say in TV sitcoms and what insecure people say when they try to explain how the world works – it is very easy to get sucked into it that version of reality. Most people want to believe that the world is too difficult, because it’s easier to hide away from what they want that way. Some of the worst offenders at spreading the insecurity are talk show hosts; they give their “opinion” on everything, even though they are not qualified experts. If they are insecure about something, they spread it by spinning their insecure way of looking at things into various conversations. If you look into documentaries, read biographies and see what happened “behind the scenes” to cause many famous people to get into show business in the first place, you’ll discover that it is usually out of a need to feel loved or deal with a particular insecurity they have about not being good enough. Even the great Robin Williams said he originally got into comedy to impress women and try to get laid. Sure, that eventually led him to international stardom, but the reason he did it was very typical of why most men try to achieve anything.

    …and as you know, when men do it that way, they’ve got it all backwards.

    There’s nothing wrong with achieving things in life (heck – I spend 3 hours talking about life purpose and achieving big things in Better Than a Bad Boy), but doing it to impress women means you are building your life on a foundation of insecurity. Women can see through it and they can and usually will manipulate you because of it.

    Cheers
    Dan

    P.S. About black women: Yes, I was a bit slow to catch onto that. It was like the first time I had sex with a hot Asian chick…I was like, “WTF! This is awesome”…but, then I slept with 2, very black, African women (not at the same time, lol) in the south of Spain last year and my whole perspective changed. If I ever decide to have children, I want it to be with an African woman. Planning on moving to Africa or Jamaica (or maybe the USA) in late 2013. Nowadays, nothing compares to a hot black chick for me…

• Liam

  Hey Dan,

  I thought maybe you could give me some advice. I have a problem. Like one year ago, I met a girl at college. We became good friends and – honestly – I have had a crush on her from the very first moment. But she had a boyfriend back then, so I didn’t do anything. But, of course, we were messing around a lot and had fun. Meanwhile she became my partner for learning. As the subject is pretty hard, we did spend a lot of time together. We still do.
  The thing is, I am really attracted to her. I cannot really tell if she is attracted to me. On the one hand she is smiling at me a lot, she touches me without a reason and seems to enjoy being around me. Stuff like that. But on the other hand, when we are not together for learning, it seems to me as if sometimes she doesn’t even care.
  One example: two weeks ago we spend a lot of time together. She phoned me to arrange our learning stuff, she told me about her day and stuff like this. She did that a few times, even right after she had finishing time at her job, as if there was nothing more important as phoning me instantly.
  But the very next week when we couldn’t learn together it seemed to me as if she didn’t even care anymore. She just texted me she is afraid of not passing cause she has no time to learn.
  This procedure reruns over and over, for about three months now.
  So I am thinking whether she just uses me for her aims or if there is a chance for me.
  I am scared to lose her as friend when I confess to her that I could imagine more than just a friendship and she says no.

  So what do you suggest? Meanwhile we know each other pretty well. How can I attract her, even if she wasn’t attracted to me so far? And how do I accomplish her running after me? I want her to get a crush on me so that I get the power over the situation, if you know what I mean.
  Is it really that hard to get her on my side?

  So I hope you have some ideas!

  Best,

  Liam

  • Dan Bacon

    Hi Liam

    Thanks for your question.

    You don’t tell a girl that you want a relationship if you haven’t even had sex with her yet. You do what I explain in Step 4 of The Flow.

    I recommend that you at least watch this video and use the technique suggested for getting yourself out of the friend zone: http://www.themodernman.com/videos/question-and-answer-video-series-part-3.html You don’t go from the friend zone to sex by telling her that you like her.

    Cheers
    Dan

    • Liam

      Hi Dan,

      thanks for the link. I watched the video and know I see even more in what a bad situation I am.

      See, I did read the Flow and I like what you are saying. You helped me to change my mindset about a few things and I try to use your tips whenever I can.
      So meanwhile I met her again, of course. The thing is, every time we are alone we actually do manage everything in a perfect way. We get along really very well, she tells me things she doesn’t tell other male friends. In using your tips I made her laugh about a lots of things or she’s boxing me in a playful way. Actually I could go on with this kind of list for another few things, but I hope you’ll get the point.
      So now when we are together with other people, we do not have this special chemistry as when we are alone and I need to change that.

      When I summarize the situation, i think I’m definitely still too deep in the friend zone, what I have to fix!
      I suggest we’d fit perfectly together, but I have to attract her more.
      I am using the things you talk in The Flow, like humor, eye contact and the rest, but I still don’t see the success I’d like to see.

      BTW, I’m pretty sure I am competing another guy who isn’t studying with us.
      How can I use our subject in which I help her a lot as my trump card?
      I know she needs me there a lot, she’s even phoning me by night when exams are on the plan.

      In a few days I have some kind of a date with her when the two of us are going to a sports game. I asked her if she wants to join me and she said yes. So this has to be a good sign.

      Best,

      Liam

    • Dan Bacon

      Hi Liam

      Thanks for your message and positive feedback about The Flow.

      However, I need to point out one very important thing to you: Read page 179 of 214 in The Flow. Although you are going on a date with her, you are still making the classic mistake that I point out there.

      You mentioned that you wanted to use your mutual subject at university to somehow get an edge over the other guy who is interested in her. NO! That is NOT what you need to do. What do you need to do? KISS HER. If you need more examples on how to have a first kiss with a woman, watch Dating Power and use the rejection-proof examples that I demonstrate for moving in for a first kiss. When you KISS her, it will change the relationship from a friendship to the beginning of a sexual relationship.

      Here’s some articles I wrote about first kisses:
      http://www.themodernman.com/when_should_you_have_a_kiss_on_a_first_date.html
      http://www.themodernman.com/dating/sex/how_and_when_to_first_kiss_a_woman.html

      Stop talking to her and just kiss her already! …and post up your success story here when you do! Make it happen Liam!

      Cheers
      Dan

    • Liam

      Hi Dan,

      thanks for believing in me!
      Maybe I have to read the Flow another time to get it.

      So I wondered about that being an alpha thing. I think I can say I am a half-alpha. So how can I compete real alphas? Like when you are in a group and there is another guy who is getting lots of attention. How can I manage to get the attention he is getting, so that I am the alpha instead and even that dude is impressed?
      Because the alpha thing is working pretty well on “normal” people, but when there is another alpha the problems are on their way.

      What do you do in those situations?

      Another thing: what do you do when her (female) friends get all her attention?

      Thanks for your support, I really appreciate it!

    • Dan Bacon

      Hi Liam

      You’re welcome mate.

      I know you can do it, because I’ve been coaching guys in person for many years and have seen all types of guys succeed easily when they use my advice. You are no exception. You will continue to experience more and more success the more you use my advice.

      As for the alpha questions: All of that is discussed and explained in detail in Alpha Male Power. I give a lot of free advice in these reply comments, but cannot go teaching what is in Alpha Male Power in these replies. That advice is reserved for customers who invest in the program.

      As for reading The Flow again: Yes, you will find that you learn so much more when you read it the second time, because you’ve now had many more experiences with women. You will be able to understand the concepts on a much more advanced level. Things that you might have only “kind of” understood the first time will jump out of the page and suddenly be crystal clear for you.

      Cheers
      Dan

• sampath

  Bro
  i’m trying for a girl she’s a tough one.she is of different kind as she looks at me when i didn’t see at me when i try to see her she pretend of not seeing me & now a days she is not seeing me also….as i think .i don’t know wheather she see’s me or not now a days . till now i didn’t talked with her till now completely . i like her a lot & she also likes me as i heard from some one so please ….tell me how to get her & maintain a relation with her …& mainly how to talk with her.

  Regards
  Sampath

  • Dan Bacon

    Hi Sampath

    Thanks for your question.

    Looking at each other means NOTHING unless you make something happen. Another guy can simply walk up to her, talk to her and escalate to a phone number, kiss or even sex that day or night. If you don’t know what to say, LEARN. Read The Flow, use the conversation examples, flirting examples and escalation examples and then come back and post up your success story here.

    Cheers
    Dan

• SJ

  Hi Dan
  Where do I start? Ok here goes.. Only now just discovered ur material – hopefully not too late lol!
  Anyway a few months ago I got attracted to a local girl & we had great times chatting in person, regular phone calls & flirty tx – we ended up sleeping together then nothing! She made every excuse known to man not to see me again – I then became too needy (I now realise) and told her how I feel & that I cared etc etc & she got scared. I then joined a dating site – I’ve met 2 women in quick succession & had sex with both on the 2nd dates (which I never thought would happen). However the 1st was v v needy and still begs me to come back after I rejected her (a mirror image of me???) the 2nd is lovely and about to have a 3rd date with her but only after rescuing the situation after I appeared desperate again – I came on too strong in a tx. Now this is where my head really hurts – the original girl (way back at the beginning) is starting to show an interest again – only because I’ve been more relaxed and I like her the most – however she’s backing off again now I’m responding to her. I hope I’ve made some sense here – any advice appreciated, thankyou for ur time.

  • Dan Bacon

    Hi SJ

    Thanks for your question.

    It sounds like you need to learn more about what women actually want in a man. You seem quite natural at being able to attract women and escalate to sex, but are making some fundamental errors in your approach to the set up of relationships, which will keep causing you problems until you fix them. No doubt in my mind that the program for you is Better Than a Bad Boy.

    Cheers
    Dan

• tristan

  Hello Dan,
  How was your day? Well, it’s has been a wonderful, interesting and great privilegee for me being recognised in your educative community.
  I have been receiving your newsletters and they are really helping me become a real man.
  Though, I am improving in my side as a real man through your words of wisdom in your newsletters, but I still have a long way to go before I reach my dreams. This is because I have not been able to get your main e-books due to the high cost if it is converted to naira.
  I am pleading that you please help us in Nigeria. We are feeling left out in the modern man’s community.
  I am glad writing to you; I believe if I ever lay my hands on those your e-books I will be more better than you in terms of being successful with ladies(joking). I will be very happy if you consider us in Nigeria.
  Your boy
  Tristan

  • Dan Bacon

    Hey Tristan

    Welcome to The Modern Man mate.

    I’m glad I’ve been able to help out my brothers in Nigeria. Don’t worry – I care as much about you guys as I do for every other guy who is struggling with this area of life. However, the prices of my programs are set. If you can’t afford my cheapest product The Flow, then you’ll have to be patient and learn from all the free stuff I send out via the newsletter. If you want to work out a part payment plan to get a program, contact me here and let me know what you can afford per month.

    Cheers
    Dan

• Shawn

  why do women feel that if they are to easy it means they might be kind of a slut?

  • Dan Bacon

    Hey Shawn

    Women have to pretend they aren’t interested in having sex too quickly for many reasons that I explain in The Flow. One of the reasons is that a woman want you to be able trust to her if she have a relationship with you. If she’s too easy upfront, you might think she’ll be an easy target for another guy who wants to steal her from you.

    Cheers
    Dan

• wiley

  Why wont your video work on my phone

  • Dan Bacon

    Hi Wiley

    Thanks for your question.

    Everyone can play Youtube videos. If you can’t, install the necessary software. It’s free.

    Cheers
    Dan

• Jamie

  Hi Dan mate. I’m having a little bit of trouble. I’ve bought a lot of your products over the years such as The Flow and Dating Power and I’ve become much, much better with women.

  I can now do all of the hard work with relative ease. I am more confident so i can approach girls. I go through the 4 Steps of the flow very well and during the past year I have gotten to the point of kissing lots of girls in the night club and I always get the phone number when there’s an opportunity. So as far as meeting girls when I’m out is concerned, I’m doing very well.

  When i get the phone number, I’m not needy, i vary my text response time, I make phone calls or video calls if the girl is comfortable enough. Again, i go through the 4 steps of the flow and build lot’s of attraction and connection. These girls like me and i can see it.

  The problems start to occur when i suggest to meet up. It just doesn’t seem to happen for me and it’s very frustrating after all of the effort I’ve put in – it just feels like a waste of time.

  It’s always a last minute excuse or they start being a bit funny and i really can’t understand why, when things have been going so well?

  At first i thought it may be because they are shy because a lot of girls are, especially when it comes to meeting up. I haven’t suggested anything overly forward, just things such as ‘Hey your cool, we should grab a coffee sometime’.

  I genuinely think it could be the shyness aspect because these girls really do like me lol. I’m just unsure of how to go about it because i think i start chasing a little too much when they start playing hard to get about a meet up? I certainly try a little harder, although i do want to meet them at some point, that’s why I’ve been talking to them all along!

  It’s just very frustrating doing all of the hard work for a little thing like this to ruin it all. I hope you understand and any advice you could help me with would be greatly appreciated. Thanks man.

  • Dan Bacon

    Hi Jamie

    Thanks for your question.

    Great to hear about your success so far, kissing lots of women and getting phone numbers.

    As for why some girls aren’t keen to meet up: You are coming across as very attractive and confident when you meet the girls. Some girls then feel as though you are too good for them and they want to get some level of power and control over you, so they play hard to get about the meet up. They also play hard to get because they want to be sure that you really do like them and are not just going to use them for sex. Read: Why Do Some Women Play Hard to Get?

    Cheers
    Dan

• Jim Mason

  What does it mean when a girl says “not yet” after you ask her for her number?

  • Dan Bacon

    Hey Jim

    Thanks for your question.

    She’s not attracted to you. You need to attract her. If you don’t know how, read The Flow.

    Cheers
    Dan

• Jonathan

  Great video Dan! This is something that’s really puzzled me recently. I used to think girls didn’t like me or maybe lost interest when they did this, and the fact that only some girls would do this while others didn’t made it even more confusing. One girl who has told me her feelings in the past still did this while we had already been dating and it didn’t make sense because she was so different when we were together in person e.g. giving me attention. i thought that she lost interest or i started getting too needy and showing too much interest because sometimes I became weak. So, the question is, if she’s testing your confidence or wants to show you she’s not easy, do you give her what she wants and just keep pursuing her when she ignores you? If you flip the script and she refuses to chase you, which I’m guessing most of these girls who play these games in the first place will act, what do I do? I’ve found that playing games with a confident woman will just make them do it back to you and slow down any momentum or ruin the relationship.

  • Dan Bacon

    Hey Jonathan

    Thanks for your positive feedback and question.

    Yes, we never advise that you should play games with women, because when you come across savvy women they will play even harder. The Modern Man approach is about being authentic in your lack of neediness, desperation, etc. When that is REAL, no woman can mess with you. Teaching you how to be like that is not something for the comment section though. I have a 10 hour and 50 minute video program for that: http://store.themodernman.com/in/18c787c

    Cheers
    Dan

• Jamie

  Hi dan mate. I bought the flow a few years back and have had a lot of success with girls since. I’ve been working on my confidence after buying alpha male power recently and i think i’m becoming a lot more confident so thanks for that man.

  I was out on saturday night and prior to that i’ve been texting a girl i know quite well. She’s always into me whenever i see her but can sometimes be quite difficult, i think she’s a bit shy. I bumped into her in a nightclub and immediately she was all over me. I escalated to kissing her, she was all over me, and after a while i went to get a drink with my mates and told her we’d catch up later.

  I came back about 15 minutes later and she was all over some other guy. As soon as she saw me she left him and came back to me, however i wasn’t happy with this so i politely smiled, told her to have a good night and walked away from her (she looked mortified that i’d turned her down). I ended up hooking up with another girl about 10 minutes later so wasn’t too bothered.

  My question is why do girls do things like that. It was clear she was into me and i followed up on that. However as soon as i go grab a drink she’s all over some other guy. Personally i value myself better than that which is why i walked away from her, although its frustrating since i know the girl well and actually kind of like her.

  • Dan Bacon

    Hey Jamie

    Thanks for sharing your success so far. Great to hear.

    About your question: The other guy caught her at a peak moment, after you’d already turned her on. In cases like that, it’s often that the girl thinks, “Well, if he thinks I’m just going to sit around and wait for him after he’s gotten me all turned on, he’s got another thing coming” and will sometimes approach guys or make it really easy for the next guy who approaches her.

    To do the pick up properly and escalate it to sex, you should have brought her with you when you when to go have a drink with your mates. She might have thought you were ashamed to introduce her to your mates and just wanted to come back later, have sex with her than night and then leave it at that. Although many women are totally fine with one night stands, you have to ensure you don’t treat them disrespectfully (or in a way that they see as disrespectful).

    Cheers
    Dan

• Mike

  Hey,

  So where is the line on dealing with a “hard to get girl”? Meaning, when do you reach the point of being confident and showing you can step up versus saying “whatever” I will just find someone knew?

  And for context this isn’t regarding talking to a girl for the first time but after you’ve already been dealing with her (and I already made the mistake of showing too much interest with this one so just taking my medicine for next week/months sake).

  Mike

  • Dan Bacon

    Hey Mike

    Can you rephrase your question or provide some more info.

    Not sure what you mean exactly.

    Cheers
    Dan

Comments are closed.