Watch All 11 Videos
- Part 1: What do you say to a woman after the conversation starter?
- Part 2: How do you overcome the initial fear of rejection when you want to approach a woman or ask her out?
- Part 3: How do you get out of the friend zone with a woman and start dating/having sex with her instead?
- Part 4: Why do women always go for bad boys?
- Part 5: Why do women play hard to get, especially after you’ve shown them that you’re interested?
- Part 6: How do I get the confidence to approach women?
- Part 7: Why does she always talk about other guys who like her?
- Part 8: How do I tell a woman that I have feelings for her?
- Part 9: How do you approach women during the day? (Bookstores, malls, etc)
- Part 10: Can I recover from a bad first impression I made on a woman?
- Part 11: How do you pick up beautiful women who play hard to get?
Learn From My Advanced Training Programs
- The Flow
- The Ultimate Guide to Conversation
- Mastery Methods & Mindsets
- Dating Power
- 21 Great Ways to Get a Girlfriend
- Confessions of a Natural
- Better Than a Bad Boy
- The Modern Relationship
- Coaching Call Breakthroughs
- Alpha Male Power
- Get Your Ex Back: Super System
Share Your Thoughts
If you enjoyed this video, have a question or want to comment on anything – PLEASE DON’T BE SHY. Go ahead and leave a comment below!
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Cool! I’m def looking forward to watching more of these vids.
I already have your Dating Power program and used the advice to turn a female coworker into my girlfriend. I’m now interested in hearing more about your advice on relationships and keeping them interesting and exciting. Do any of your programs provide advice on that?
Thanks for your question.
I actually recorded a talk about relationships that I gave at a seminar recently. The video will be available on the site in the coming months.
In the meantime, check out Mastery Methods & Mindsets to hear me explain how I get my girlfriends addicted to being with me and doing everything they can to impress me so I will stay with them:
Also, there’s a bunch of techniques and examples on how to keep a relationship exciting and interesting in my ebook The Flow:
This mind set is BRILLIANT, I never viewed it in that way:)
I think I have a negative mindset that now I am going to change, let me explain. I would get really annoyed and frustrated if girls I didn’t find attractive kept approaching me, and trying to talk. So I just assumed that most girls would not want to talk with me.
But now I realize for women that would only be like a nicey nice guy approaching, who is nervous and asks her the same boring questions and tries too hard to impress her.
However if I am confident and a cool guy, that for them would be doing them a favor.
ONE QUESTION DO YOU HAVE TO WATCH FOR A SLIGHT CUE TO APPROACH, SUCH AS A SMILE, OR OPEN POSTURE FROM THE GIRL? Because there is a technique I tried recently, mainly due to the confidence gained from reading your ebook, but not sure it may have been a fluke:( you see a hot girl and immediately without hesitation you walk up to her and say hi, this direct approach doesn’t give me time to evaluate and think and talk myself out of it. This move seems better than even a man with a lot of experience coming from an awkward, weak position e.g having stared at her for too long prior to approaching.
Anyway by using this approach I was the only one to get her number in the club, and my skills with women are bad no Dan really bad, however this powerful entrance was magic so intense:)
Anyway she is not my type I am not going to phone her, however she has some really hot friends who now want to meet.
thanks for the video:)
Thanks for your question.
No, you don’t need to look for a cue from the woman showing you that she wants you to approach. It happens sometimes, but mostly only on TV and in movies. In the real world, most women are too afraid to look desperate or easy, so they act like they haven’t even noticed you.
Just approach. It is the only way you’re going to meet her.
I guess that imagining a scenario like the one you outline there, goes hand in hand with your ideas about “assuming rapport” and that is why it is effective.
I have a pet idea of my own that both sides have to be in the right frame of mind for the flirting interaction to happen successfully. If they’re not, then you have to get them (and yourself) there
Anyway that’s just me thinking aloud. Great work guys.
Yes, exactly. Most women aren’t going to be in the right mood immediately, so you need to get them in the right mood by being easy-going, confident and flirtatious.
I have to say that you guys REALLY know what your talking about! Ive read the flow and it has helped tremendously! However I still have a lot of trouble with self confidence and putting myself down even when I seemingly have success. Despite this I still managed to shake it off for periods of time and now have a girlfriend, my second since reading the Flow. The girl I’m with now, however is still decent friends with her ex’s, and has admitted to cheating once; why, I still have to find out. I really don’t know how to view this. Logically I see no problem with her staying friends with ex’s and what not, but some of my friends say this is a problem. And she says the cheating thing is a long story…. If you could, whats your take on girls like this? Thanks a bunch! Keep the Videos coming! 🙂
Regarding your confidence, listen to Mastery: http://store.themodernman.com/products/mastery_methods_and_mindsets.php – it fixes all the confidence problems that guys have with women.
Regarding your GF cheating on you. You’re only putting up with her bad treatment because you don’t have any other options with hotter women. Approach and have sex with hotter women and you’ll forget about her faster than you can say, “Wow, that was some awesome sex. Way better than my GF!”
As the old saying goes, “Once a cheater, always a cheater.” You will never be able to fully trust her again, so move on and let her learn the life lesson. If you don’t, she’ll probably teach you the hard way by breaking your heart down the track.
Dan, I have a question (oh and great work btw). If a woman gives me signals do I still approach her the same way with that mindset if I know she has a boyfriend? Oh and another question, why is she flirting with me in the first place if she already has a boyfriend?
So glad i found this site, very helpful .
very good tips, thanks 😀
I’m going to be booking phone coaching this week so I won’t be annoying you with questions for much longer 😛
I tried posting this question up earlier but it didn’t appear online.
My question for you Dan is:
How do you accept things about this area of life when you don’t agree with them?
Some examples are:
Embracing girls and their behaviours.
Accepting that i have to ‘play the game’.
Adopting mindsets and behaviours that i don’t necessarily agree with.
Accepting the fact i’ve been wrong and having to change.
This is my monster problem at the moment it really does slow me down. Sometimes when I listen to you, Ben & Stu talk in interviews talking about how you talk to girls or the different dynamics that have to be followed or even some of the stories you tell I kind of get turned off for whatever reason. I’ve noticed a lot of things in this area of life go against my beliefs, my personality and even how I was raised.
How can I make these mental leaps in my mind?
Thanks for your question.
Tell me something specific that you’ve listened to that went against your beliefs. I need to know more before I can reply in a helpful way.
Overall though, dating and being successful with women is pretty simple. What we recommend that guys say and do with women is what the guys who are successful with women say and do. Guys who don’t behave in the ways we explain struggle to attract women and find a girlfriend. It’s not rocket science. You just do what works – same in all areas of life. When you’re playing soccer you kick the ball and don’t pick it up with your hands. If you pick it up with your hands, you get penalized. When you’re interacting with women, you behave in certain ways and they like you. If you don’t, they penalize you for not playing the game the right way.
In terms of making the mental leap in your mind, the main thing you need to realize is that women WANT you to be more confident, flirtatious and sexual. They don’t want you to be a scared, nice guy who thinks they just fell from the stars. They want you to stand up and be a man. What about that goes against your beliefs?
Thanks again for the question. I’m interested to hear what you come back with.
An example in your book the flow you mention that sometimes its ok to not text a girl back i know this technique works! but for some reason Dan it just feels really weird not texting back i find it uncomfortable and i don’t like doing it.
I feel uncomfortable using the Powers Moves and i don’t mean i’m not confident in using them its that it doesn’t sit well with me as a person i feel wrong using them. I was raised in a very religious family so this may be why.
Again Dan dude your products and techniques are fantastic they work like a treat i hope you don’t think i am critising them its just i find it hard to implemement some of them.
Thanks for your question.
“i know this technique works! but for some reason Dan it just feels really weird not texting back i find it uncomfortable and i don’t like doing it.”
So, you don’t want to do what works? To be candid, that’s like a heavily overweight woman saying, “Look, I know men don’t find fat women as attractive as women who are in shape and have a sexy figure, but I don’t like staying in shape. I like my cake, my chips and beer and want to be fat. Why don’t men just like my fat?”
Here’s the thing…
Women WANT you to not text back right away (sometimes). Why? It is INTERESTING. It lets them feel desirable EMOTIONS. Compared to a guy who always texts back, a guy who doesn’t is a CHALLENGE…and women all over the world crave that. Listen to: http://www.themodernman.com/get_her_begging_to_be_your_girlfriend.html
However, “Not texting back” is NOT the be all and end all solution for success with women. It is just something that HELPS. You don’t HAVE TO do it, but it helps to get a woman in the frame of mind where she is chasing you. If you want to be in the type of relationship where the woman has the power over you and can manipulate your emotions with the threat of breaking up with you, then – by all means, continue feeling “uncomfortable” putting women in the one down position of power by not doing things like skipping the odd reply to one of her texts. Just be prepared for the devastating consequences of handing over your power to a woman.
As you might know, approximately 90% of divorces in the US (according to Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divorce) are initiated by women. Yet, I don’t find it surprising that ALL of my alpha male friends who are naturally good with women have not experienced this threat or don’t look to anytime soon. In fact, if their marriages ever end – I am willing to bet that it will be them who initiate it, not the women. I am in the same position – honestly, without a word of a lie, I have not had ANY girlfriend want to break up with me since I learned what now teach at The Modern Man. I have broken up with every girlfriend over the past 5 years – many who still keep in contact with me and want me back. I don’t think this is a coincidence. It is up to you which road you want to go down, but I think it will be a little more “uncomfortable” for you when a woman exercises her power in the relationship and breaks your heart by dumping you. I hope it doesn’t happen to you, but the statistics are pretty glaring.
“I feel uncomfortable using the Powers Moves and i don’t mean i’m not confident in using them its that it doesn’t sit well with me as a person i feel wrong using them. I was raised in a very religious family so this may be why.”
Again, the POWER MOVES are not the be all and end all solution to success with women. They are just something that HELPS. We do not use them in every environment, because it is not always appropriate. If you’re religious then I assume you might go to a church of some kind…if so, we would never recommend using the Power Moves there – it would not be appropriate. They are more designed for bars, parties and less formal environments.
Don’t worry mate – I didn’t think you were criticizing and I sincerely appreciate your comments and questions. I also understand that it might be a huge mental leap for you to go from thinking women are special little angels who need to be treated like delicate princesses, to realizing that they are normal human beings who like to be treated well, but also LIKE IT when you offer them a bit of challenge…if you make them WORK to maintain YOUR attention and interest rather than just being THERE and WAITING to be attentive at any time.
unforunately, the videos dont work on my laptop but ive been reading the comment section and from their ive learned so much. my question is do you have any advice for a teenager? i do understand that most of the same priciples and concepts apply to any man regardless of age but i feel as if the dating game may be even more difficult for a teenager, or at least one like me being a bit of a “nerd.”
since i started highschool ive only had two girlfriends, which i guess isnt too terrible all things considered. in all honesty i didnt really ask either of them out, it just sort of happened.
id like to consider myself to be the nice guy. the guy thats there for the girl when she needs it. i liten, i dont ask for ANYTHING in return, im an all around gentleman, but i always get pushed away.
i express some interest in a girl, take for instace a girl i recently asked out, i’ll call her emma. She is very much like me in alot of ways. she likes the same music, movies, art, clothing, games, ect., but when i asked her out she turned me down in favor of my pothead friend. the whole ordeal was enough to send me running with my tail between my legs. Recently i opted to become Asexual, as to avoid anymore problems like the one with Emma(and trust me there have been far too many) but i dont want to be asexual really. i just want someone to share with and to be close to.
i cant be a tough guy, its not who i am. im a caring sensitive guy with a lot on his mind and i just wish someone other than myself would recognize that.
if you have any advice for me i would love to hear it, any help would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks for your positive feedback and question.
You said, “i cant be a tough guy, its not who i am. im a caring sensitive guy with a lot on his mind and i just wish someone other than myself would recognize that.” I understand where you’re coming from, but that’s like an obese woman saying that big is beautiful. We men are more attracted to women in excellent physical condition and who are not overweight, so we don’t see big as beautiful. Women are more attracted to men who are confident, so they don’t see men who are wimpy and overly sensitive as sexy. You don’t have to be a “tough guy” as you put it, but you do need to have balls. If a woman feels like she has more “balls” than you, she won’t feel attraction for you.
My advice is about being a good guy, but also being confident and knowing how to make a woman feel attraction for you….and yes – this stuff works for teens. I’ve heard back from guys as young as 15 and as old as 68 with success stories. If you want to learn, consider asking your parents to let you buy my ebook and learn how to be more confident with women and people. If you’re unable to do that, I wish you all the best and hope to help you further when you’re old enough to learn more about relationships with women and being a man.
the advice is gratly appreciated and i deffinately undertsand what your saying. im glad someone could put it straight out there. i think i can do what your saying
I get very concerned that soon every guy will be great with women soon with the internet and all that and even guys discovering your site.
Isn’t it just part of nature some males mate other males don’t? Would it ever get to the stage every guy was good with women and if not why not? If every guy was shit hot with the ladies isn’t that going to be problematic lol?
Lol, mate you’re only thinking that because you’re not following our advice and approaching women. If you were using our techniques to approach women, you’d already be getting laid and wouldn’t be worried about other guys.
Additionally, here’s the mathematics of the situation:
– How many new sites to visit in a week?
Let’s imagine that you visit 20 new sites in a week.
– How many new sites will you visit in the next 10 years?
Let’s imagine that you visit 20 new sites per week for the next 10 years. That’s 20 x 52 x 10 = 10,400.
– How many sites are there on the internet?
HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS.
Dude, most people will never, ever, EVER hear about The Modern Man. Yet, YOU know about us. Our tested techniques are in our programs and waiting for you. The question is: Are you approaching women using the right techniques, or sitting around worrying about how other guys might get laid?
P.S. For the record, I have to give you some credit mate. I understand where you’re at when you think that because I also used to think the VERY SAME way when I first started working on this area of my life. I thought, “Shit! I’d better hurry, because all the other guys will find out that you can be successful with women by using the right techniques”, but then, as I got better and better with women, I realized that most guys are either:
a) Hopeless with women. They simply fumble their way into relationships and accept whatever they can get.
b) In denial that they need help. They’d rather keep failing that find The Modern Man and learn. So, they look at porn and try their very best to mask the pain they feel about being hopeless with women.
P.P.S. An exercise for you to do: Go to a bar this weekend and LOOK at what other guys do. You’ll see that most of them just STARE at women and rarely, if EVER approach. Usually, it’s the drunk guys who do it, because most guys do NOT understand how to build confidence and be successful with women. If you want to learn that, watch Dating Power and follow our advice properly. When you do, it is literally IMPOSSIBLE for you to fail. Listen to this guy for example: He has a lisp and wears thick glasses and even HE was able to do it. If he can, ANY guy can.
i also have very big problem and i hope you can surely help me out.most peopole including men and women tell me how good looking i am;muscular and very tall but my problem is,i find it very difficult to approach girls even the ugliest.AND also find it difficult too tallking to guys.i cant look straight to someones face when talking to.AND this has made feel me so shy when i try to approach women and the woman can just see directly from me so i really need your help
Thanks for your comment.
Someone like you needs to watch Alpha Male Power. Why? Despite your looks and people continually giving you compliments, you think like an omega male and thus suffer the consequences. Read: http://www.themodernman.com/dating/the-consequences-of-not-being-an-alpha-male.html
i have a big problem when it comes to women.I attract a lot of beautiful women but its hard for me to them approach women because i don’t know how to start or maintain a conversation with a women and it is hard for me to tell a women how i feel about her even if she expects me to express my feels first to her its because i lack in confidence and fear of rejection
Thanks for your comment.
No, women do not expect you to express your feelings first. They hate when a guy approaches a sexual courtship that way. Read The Flow and your next comment to me will be a success story.
I think I see my problem with women. Well its a few actually. I think its that I care to much of what others think. By that I mean If I see a woman out in public I would think if this doesn’t go well others would look at me like some kind of failure. I need to get myself to a point where I don’t care what others think, and know that I can be successful with women. I need to go for the women I want and not mind if I get rejected. Not every woman has to like me and the people watching can think what they want. I know I am a great man who is learning to get much, much, much better with women.
The other thing is that when I go to approach a woman I may feel like I don’t know what to talk about. I know its more how you say it than what you say, but it is still important to know what say.
I think the last thing may be that I don’t go out as often as I would like. I usually stay inside on my computer, while life is passing me by. Its a terrible feeling and I’m tired of it. I want to be able to go out just by myself and feel comfortable knowing that no matter what I am still a catch, and I can get lots of women deeply attracted to me. I just want to have fun during my college years. I know life is uncertain and I want to be able to have no regrets.
Dan I know your products can help me in my journey to be a better more masculine, confident, and happy man. I know I still have other things to work out, but I know this is really where I need to work on for now. Well thanks for all the great advice and i’ll keep learning everything you have to offer.
Sounds like you need to watch Alpha Male Power. I provide the solution to getting over the unnecessary fear of what people think of you. Many people suffer from it – Alpha Male Power provides the cure for that and loads of other unnecessary, mental afflictions.
About not going out enough: Listen to 21 Great Ways to Get a Girlfriend and complete the 30 Day Challenge. You will have more women in your life than ever before if you follow the advice and actually talk to women in the environments we suggest and in the ways we advice. You’ll also make a load of new friends in the process.
I really appreciate your advice. I’m a little unsure now. Wish to get first. You had told me on another video comment that I should get Dating Power. I’m not trying to make you make my decisions for me. I just want to make sure that I make the best of the opportunity I have been given. Thanks for your time and I will put what I learn to great use. Hopefully when I have the money I will be able to buy most if not all your products.
You’re welcome mate.
Yes, I realized that. I probably should have mentioned the fact that some guys need to learn more than others. In one comment, you asked about a specific area that is covered in detail in one of our programs and in another comment you asked about a completely different area! 🙂
When learning how to become more successful with women, it’s only natural that some guys are going to need to learn more than others. As such, we have a wide range of programs to ensure each man can learn what he needs to know to become truly successful with women.
Yeah sorry about being all over the place haha, but I have made my decision. I’ve studied each other the programs you suggested and now I’m confident in which one I’ll get. I’m pretty excited to see where this turns out, and can’t thank you enough. Keep your eyes on your inbox for my success stories haha.
Great to hear that you are clear on what you need to learn next. Okay that sounds good – I’ll look out for a great success story from you sometime soon. Please post it up in a comment here: Modern Man Success Stories
Dude, you are legit and amazing.
I read The Flow and watched the videos and read the articles.
Now, there was a beautiful girl who was insanely attractive who I said “Hi” to at a bus stop and I had such an amazing conversation with her. She was not single (I knew she was honest) but she was so receptive towards my approach and the best part is that it was at a busstop and in a bus which is regarded as the worst place to approach women.
I also have a cool girl in my class group that I have begun flirting with.
Thanks for this advice man.
Thanks for your positive feedback.
Yes, as you are now experiencing: This is a LOT easier than most guys think. Approaching and talking to women is actually exciting and liberating. I remember when I first started doing it; I finally began to feel free from the unnecessary fear and anxiety that I was creating by thinking that approaching women was BAD. Like most guys, I thought women would reject me like they did to guys in movies, on TV sitcoms and even in music videos. I quickly realized that real life is completely different from what we see on TV. In real life, women actually want to be approached. Heck, I’ve even recorded women SAYING that on the street: http://www.themodernman.com/street_talk_with_women.html
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