Watch All 11 Videos
- Part 1: What do you say to a woman after the conversation starter?
- Part 2: How do you overcome the initial fear of rejection when you want to approach a woman or ask her out?
- Part 3: How do you get out of the friend zone with a woman and start dating/having sex with her instead?
- Part 4: Why do women always go for bad boys?
- Part 5: Why do women play hard to get, especially after you’ve shown them that you’re interested?
- Part 6: How do I get the confidence to approach women?
- Part 7: Why does she always talk about other guys who like her?
- Part 8: How do I tell a woman that I have feelings for her?
- Part 9: How do you approach women during the day? (Bookstores, malls, etc)
- Part 10: Can I recover from a bad first impression I made on a woman?
- Part 11: How do you pick up beautiful women who play hard to get?
Learn From My Advanced Training Programs
- The Flow
- The Ultimate Guide to Conversation
- Mastery Methods & Mindsets
- Dating Power
- 21 Great Ways to Get a Girlfriend
- Confessions of a Natural
- Better Than a Bad Boy
- The Modern Relationship
- Coaching Call Breakthroughs
- Alpha Male Power
- Get Your Ex Back: Super System
Share Your Thoughts
If you enjoyed this video, have a question or want to comment on anything – PLEASE DON’T BE SHY. Go ahead and leave a comment below!
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Hey man, I just wanted to let you know that I learned sooooooo much from all the information you guys have given from this company. I have been getting better and better with women everyday I go out…
One issue I have with women is randomly at times when I try to flirt…I always come on too strong and they start to resist (not like a test, actually resist)…or too light and it doesn’t go anywhere(even if I am acting attractive)…sometimes Im able to flirt in just the right way that they let me through but it’s usually random.
basically im asking if you could make a video on how to keep a girl from resisting you blatantly when you flirt?
Thanks for your comment and question.
Sounds like you are missing one of the key ingredients when it comes to flirting, creating a sexual vibe, making women feel comfortable and getting women attracted to you.
That is: Relaxed confidence. We explain how to have it in Mastery Methods & Mindsets: http://store.themodernman.com/products/mastery_methods_and_mindsets.php
Relaxed confidence comes from a number of things:
1. The right mindsets.
2. Understanding what women want from men.
3. Enough experience talking and interacting with women when using techniques that get you positive results.
Why number 3?
If you’ve had a lot of negative experiences talking to women where you get rejected or mess up opportunities, it will be difficult if not impossible to have relaxed confidence around women you really like. However, each time you have a positive experience with a woman (you’ll achieve that by using the right techniques and approach to women), your insecurities and anxieties will begin to wither away until they no longer exist. Eventually, you will just KNOW that most women like you and you can basically have almost any woman you want…which then translates into you living your life with the powerful feeling of relaxed confidence.
When you are in a state of relaxed confidence and you flirt with a woman – the flirting WORKS. Women feel the right vibe with you and it just works!
Enjoy the great times ahead with women!
Today I was going to my uni and at the uni library hit off a conversation with a hot girl. She asked me how long it takes to log on to the computers and i jokingly said couple of hours. She then asked me what she should do and i replied by saying try hitting the keyboard really hard or punching the screen. We started to have a bit of banter going back and forth and some flirting. After this she asked questions and volunteered information aswell. She asked me how old do you think i look. I done the down up look that Ben demonstrated in the seminar and said you look young. Amazing how the techniques and advice really do work. Hope to keep improving on this area of dating women.
Thanks so much for sharing your success.
This is a PERFECT example of how to flirt with women and not come across as a desperate, Mr. Nice Guy. Most guys would have just answered her question with the logical answer and tried to be as helpful as possible, in the hope that she would LIKE them. No, no, no…you need to get women attracted to you like Andreas has done here. Well done Andreas!
To everyone reading along with these comments – you’ll find loads of flirting examples like the one Andreas has shared in The Flow. The “up down look” that he is referring to is demonstrated by Ben in our Dating Power seminar.
Hello Dan i just want to thank you for all your hard working and the emails, but i would really appreciate if you advice me on one thing i got this girl who i am going to take out this month and shes a bit taller than me, you think everything will be alright ?
Thanks for your question.
It will be alright if you think it is alright. If you think it is a problem, she’ll pick up on it and it will mostly likely turn her off you. A tall girl always encounters guys who feel intimidated by her height. If you can be one of the rare guys who sees her as “cute” for being tall, she’ll love you for it.
Same applies to everything you could worry about with a woman: Just don’t worry and it won’t be a problem. Worry and it will become a problem.
I just Need To Know One Thing. Please answer this question,It’s all I need to know.What are the topics that women love to talk about on the phone or anywhere?Even to get them to flirt?
Thanks for your question.
If you think that is ALL you need to know about conversation, I’m sorry to say that you are mistaken. Succeeding with women doesn’t happen when you know the topics they like to talk about. It’s a little more complicated than that!
If you are going to be good at talking to women, you also need to know things like how to: Flirt, not qualifying yourself during conversation (unnecessary qualifying during conversation is the #1 reason why a woman will suddenly lose interest in a guy), use the right type of humor in the right moments, slide in sexual innuendos every now and then, etc, etc.
However, since you asked. Check out this article:
wuz up dan,
I have a big problem in my city with women. My problem is very frustrating to me. For example, girls sometimes show me that they are very attracted to me with their actions like eye contact, heavy flirting, etc. However when I get their number they don’t call me or text me back. Some will answer and then say we should get together but never follow through on their word once I set up the date, and I feel like it is the city I am in. Please help me out.
Thanks for your question.
Dude, it has nothing to do with your city. If a woman is attracted to you and you follow her up correctly, she will eagerly want to see you again regardless of where your city is located. Think about it: Girls in your city hook up with other guys…but not you…so unfortunately the problem is with you, not your city.
Have you watched Dating Power? We explain the start to finish process from approach to sex and into a relationship. You may be making some crucial mistakes at various points through the “process”.
I just wanted to thank you for your products and your help – a can finally see a natural way of attracting women – in contrast to other “pickup gurus” I came across in the Internet 🙂
Anyways, I’ve got a question, could you please help me with that? (:
The thing is you mentioned that you have SEVRAL of interactions with women at night…(at the bar, etc…)
I personally, can’t imagine that… Could you give me a ball park of have much time you spend with a particular girl before you move on to somebody different? And you do you leave and interaction?
I can’t imagine how to have fun with the girl and then just leave the interaction…
My picture is that you somehow approach a group i a way “hi, how ru doing… what your night has been, etc etc…” have some fun. And then imagine you somehow run out of things to say(or u see ur incompatible with her,etc…), and you just want to leave an interaction.
What “excuse” do you use in a bar when you want to go away to another group of people who are let’s say 5 metres away?
And one “bonus” :)question popped my head right now: if you are in a more serious, meaningful mood – how can you change it so that you can have fun? Is there a way? Or are people just born to be always smiling and happy?
My problem is that when I’m in the bars, or in the social environments I’m just about 15-20% of the time prepared to be funny and smiling, etc. Of course I know I can’t be serious when I’m approaching women in an upbeat and irrational sort of mood – but how can I change my mood?
and wish you all the best 😉
Thanks for your questions.
“Could you give me a ball park of have much time you spend with a particular girl before you move on to somebody different?”
When I was first learning how to approach women I would speak to as many women as I could in a night because I needed the experience, but these days I only need to speak to one woman (sometimes two or three, but usually just one) because she will like me and I’ll be able to escalate it to a phone number, kiss or sex that night with her. When I talk about having several interactions in a night, it is for the majority of guys who are still learning. I’m at the mastery level with this, so it is different for me.
“What “excuse” do you use in a bar when you want to go away to another group of people who are let’s say 5 metres away?”
You don’t need to make an excuse. Just say, “Okay cool, it’s been fun chatting to you guys…I’m going to head off and chat to some other people…might talk to you guys later” Be polite, smile and leave on good terms.
“but how can I change my mood?”
Your mood changes to happy, smiling and feeling good when you actually talk to women. So do that and your mood will change.
Other than approaching to get in the right mood, you need to instill yourself with the mindsets that will allow you to live in a state of relaxed confidence and happiness. Listen to Mastery Methods & Mindsets to learn how:
i wanna say thank you for the great work . i have a probleme and can you pleaze answer , last yeer i hade a relationship with a super hot girl , we broke up and i tried to get her back but she rejected me and since then i tried to make another relationship but i was afraid of being rejected and bleave me i tired so many times and it’s like a big wal standing in front of me, pleaze help me .
Thanks for your question.
I feel your pain mate! Here’s what happened to me when my first love cheated on me and then dumped me the next day: http://www.themodernman.com/why_women_cheat.html
Your life from here:
a) You either let that break up and the heartbreak associated with it hold you back, or;
b) You realize that you will likely fall in love many times throughout your life and just go ahead and enjoy it.
Unlike our grandparents (and parents for some of the older readers), most people don’t just find one person and get married anymore. We’re living in a different world these days and as modern men, we need to adapt and be strong.
Love is a beautiful thing Yuri. Don’t protect yourself from one of the best things about life. Sure, you might feel bad one day if you break up with another girlfriend…but, going through that for a month or two is better than missing out on all the great times that come with true, mutual love.
Just wondering when your in a bar and your with a girl and you can tell she’s into you and you wanna make a move how do you do it?
Is it ok to say things like
“You’re really pretty i really want to kiss you”
“Would it be alright if i kissed you?”
Things like that. How is the proper way to do it or how would you go about it?
Thanks for your question.
No, no, no! You don’t ASK a woman if you can kiss her. People only do that in the movies and it doesn’t work in the real world.
You need to read a woman’s signals of interest and if she is open to it, use the 3-kiss technique that I demonstrate in the FREE PREVIEW video of Dating Power on this page:
In Dating Power we reveal the 8 signs that reveal whether a woman is interested in kissing you or not. Get the full version to learn all that…and more.
I am the guy that being dumped by his girlfriend, i took your advice about moving on and that’s what i did. I arranged a date with a girl that i hade my eye on her from a long time and every thing was perfect .
i have a question and please answer ;
Do you think older girls are atrackted to younger guys ?
Exemple ; a 16 year old guy having a relationship with a 21 or a 22 year old female ! do you think it will work ?
Thanks for your question.
It depends on the girl because most girls will either go for guys their age or older. When you are as young as you are now, you will need to display high levels of confidence and “coolness” (read my ebook The Flow to find out how) to be liked by women who are 21-22.
However, it gets easier as you get older. I, for example, am 33 and my girlfriend is 19. All of the women I’ve been with over the past 2 years have been between 18 and 23 years old…they love older guys because we’re usually more confident, masculine and better at sex.
Don’t let that put you off though – a lot of younger women prefer dating guys their own age. The best way to meet women in your age group is to build more of a social circle. Listen to 21 Great Ways to Get a Girlfriend for all of our very best tips and techniques for making more friends and finding compatible women…and to OTHER guys reading this – YES, the advice works whether you are 70 or 17. Use our techniques and you are GUARANTEED to get results or we will give you your money back.
I have the same type of question as Yuri except I am 51 years old and wondering if younger women between 20-30 years of age would still be attracted to me?
Thanks for your question.
Read this free report: http://www.themodernman.com/download_the_flow_in_action.html There’s mention of a 52 year old guy with a 26 year old girlfriend.
You might also find this article helpful:
I would like to thank you for all the dating tips and advice you’ve given, it has certainly made me a lot more confident with women.
Now I am confident to approach women and engage with women I do get positive responses but I am often unable to take it any further.
Would it be possible for you to tell me how to show women you really are ‘the one’ and not just another friendly guy? Also would it be possible for you to tell me how to attract girls I used to like but went off me because i didn’t move it forward correctly?
Thanks again, you’re awesome,
Thanks for your question.
Sounds like you need to watch this video: http://www.themodernman.com/videos/question-and-answer-video-series-part-10.html
She’ll only think you’re “the one” if she is properly attracted to you.
Is it OK to ask a girl out while she’s working? I used to work in retail and a girl gave me her phone number and my brother works in a bar and he gets asked out all the time but it seems to me to be against the rules to for a guy to ask a girl out while she’s busy. It seems that they feel there’s some sort of obligation for them to be nice to you because you’re a customer which makes them uncomfortable.
Thanks for your question.
Yes, it can make a woman uncomfortable if you do it the wrong way. In 21 Great Ways to Get a Girlfriend, we explain EXACTLY what to do and say when picking up women who work in retail environments: http://store.themodernman.com/products/21_great_ways_to_get_a_girlfriend.php
BTW: It sounds like you are imposing your “insecure” beliefs on the world, which then holds you back from taking action. Would it surprise you to think that some guys (us included) think it is TOTALLY FINE to pick up a woman in her work environment, even when she is busy? Are our beliefs correct and yours incorrect?
No. It’s not about who is right and wrong…it is about what WORKS and what gets you the RESULTS you want. Obviously, the way we think makes life easier. I recommend you listen to 21 Great Ways to understand the rules from a different perspective.
i realy appriciate you products
Thank you for your product and advice, there is a women I love, and I want her to be my girlfriend, I can talk to her, have conversation with her and lough with her, she is also attracted to me in turn, some time it seems that both of us understands the aim but none of can say we love each other.
how do I tell that I love her?
How long can our relationship be like that before we declare as friends?
Thanks for your question.
You, my friend, are in the friend zone. Until you KISS her or have SEX with her, nothing will change between you…no matter how much you talk, laugh and hang out. All it will take to remove you in an INSTANT is another guy coming along and at least kissing her (many guys will do that within minutes or hours of meeting her). She might remain friends with you after that, but you’ll be even further in the friend zone than before.
Watch this video to find out how to go from the friend zone to lovers:
Hey my name is Gary and i have a quick question,
How do I approach a girl that is with a bunch of her friends by myself? I have done it with a wing man but i just want to do it by myself for once.
Thanks for your question.
Yes, it’s definitely a quick question, but the answer is complicated because it depends on the amount of women in the group, the environment/place you’re in, the energy level of the group, if they know you or not, how attractively you present yourself, the volume of your voice, what you say, your body language, etc. To be correct, my answer cannot be “Just walk up and say….” because it is not proper advice. You need to learn all the components of group approaching to be successful, because a couple of little slip ups can ruin the whole thing.
You’ll find the answer in Dating Power: http://store.themodernman.com/products/dating_power.php I specifically explain how to approach groups and cover everything you need to know. We also talk about group dynamics a lot in 21 Great Ways to Get a Girlfriend: http://store.themodernman.com/products/21_great_ways_to_get_a_girlfriend.php
Also, you might benefit from listening to this: http://www.themodernman.com/the_truth_about_dating_power.html
Hi Dan! Great products man, they are precisely what some people need!
I have a question or 2 and I really hope you could answer it.
I have a huge problem becoming the center of attention and it’s because I’m always speechless, both when I’m alone with a girl and when I’m sitting with a group of friends/people.
Do you have any tips on how to improve my socializing skills?
I recently started university and I met this girl there. She is really adorable but she has acquired the wrong opinion of me. Because of my previous question I haven’t had the chance to talk to her very much but it feels like she secretly resents me. This could be paranoia but if she does, how do I overcome that to make her get a new, better opinion of me? It feels like once they get an opinion of you it’s stuck there.
Thanks for any help, it’s really appreciated!
Thanks for your positive feedback and questions.
About your first question: To fix that problem, you need to fix your mindsets not your socializing skills. Your ineffective mindsets are causing you to react in that way. You ARE capable of talking to a woman one on one and talking amongst a group, but your mindsets are telling you otherwise. Start with this free report: http://www.themodernman.com/dating/articles/quick_fix_report.html
Your second question: I’ve already made a video about that. See: http://www.themodernman.com/videos/question-and-answer-video-series-part-10.html
It could also be a case of general paranoia on your part. People with your kind of mindsets usually think that others are more concerned about them than they actually are. The truth is, you don’t matter to most people just like most people don’t matter to you – they are just background noise… nameless faces in the crowd. You don’t sit in a restaurant analyzing how other people are eating their lunch and they don’t do the same back to you. You don’t spend all day laughing to yourself about how others are dressed and people don’t do the same to you. You don’t worry who is talking to who in a bar or club environment and people aren’t worried if you’re talking to anyone or not either. Yet, for some reason – you think that everyone else cares about what you’re doing. They don’t care, so don’t worry.
I really love “The modern man” and you guys with all your advice. I am pretty sure that I improved my behavior towards women since I found you.
But, nevertheless, I’ve got a problem. Some days ago I saw a girl on the train from university back home. I didn’t really care, but afterwards I think I should have talked to her. Now there was some kind of a sweet serendipity and like two days later she added me on facebook. I recognized her and asked if she is the girl I saw on the train and she just mailed “yes” (with a smile, whatever). But now she doesn’t reply anymore and I don’t know what to do cause I think “why did she search for me when she doesn’t interact now”.
I hope you can help me. Thanks!
Thanks for your question.
Without knowing anything other than what you’ve said in your comment, my assumption would be that she may have lost interest after seeing your photos and activity on Facebook. Women use Facebook as a screening process. If you don’t photos with you and women and/or ex-girlfriends who are at least as hot as her (hotter than her is better), then you will be screened out. If you have photos of ugly ex-girlfriends or no ex-girlfriends, a lot of women will feel like they’d be doing you a favor by being your girlfriend.
If it isn’t your photos or lack thereof, then she is simply waiting for you to walk up and talk to her in person. Her adding you as a friend on Facebook was likely her way of letting you know that she wants you to approach her and talk to her in person.
BTW: You mention that you are “pretty sure” you’ve improved since you found this site. Lol, thanks for the glowing feedback! Anyway, we give out loads of practical and insightful advice for free on this site, but if you want to take things to an advanced level you will find our very best secrets, techniques and strategies in our products. I recommend you listen to 21 Great Ways to Get a Girlfriend because we specifically explain how to approach and talk to women on public transport, as well as in college/university. Also, make sure you listen to this free clip to learn some very important lessons about success with women.
During 30 years of my life I repeated the same mistakes as I approached and interacted with women. I start to read “the Flow” just one month ago and I was fascinated. My life in relation to intereccion with women has changed radically in just a couple of days! For the same reason I decided to purchase the ultimate guide to conversation and later mastery methods. I have read a lot of books from pick up gurus and all are nothing but trash.
The Modern Man is dedicated to understand the motivations and the way how women think. Dan and his partners treats women with respect! That’s the big difference! In modern man there are no tricks but a correct way of dealing with womans and this stoff realy works!
Dan’s teachings are in fact: A WAY OF LIFE!
Thank you so much, without doubt one of the best investments I’ve made in my life!
Thanks for the positive feedback mate.
It gets even better and better from there! Enjoy the great times ahead with women!
Its so easy for women all they have to do is stand there and look pretty which makes them attractive and they were born that way so they haven’t had to do anything, how is that fair?
Thanks for your question.
That is just how things have always been and most likely always will be because women want a man who is confident, so naturally it has always been and still is our role to walk up and display our confidence. It is a woman’s role to put on make up, get all dressed up and display her physical beauty in the hope that a confident man will approach.
Dan, is it wrong, odd or weird that I sometimes I am jealous, envious of how women are valued for their youth more than men are?
Because combined with the fact that women don’t have to be the ones to approach, make the first move and ask a man out, initiate/escalate, take the lead, are on the receiving end of sexual attention, requests for dating and relationships, it is an almost for certain guarantee that women will not miss out on their youth for dating, relationships, sex.
Meanwhile it is easy for men to miss out on their young youthful years for dating, relationships, sex, he can miss out on that by not taking action, not approaching or he does take action, he does approach women but his approach to women is awkward, wrong, weird, he won’t be getting any dates and won’t be getting laid.
I know that both sides have advantages and disadvantages. If you only do the accepting of offers(which is womens role), then you are limited in your choices. If you make the offers(which is mens role) you can select who gets them, thus controlling that end of it, but all women have to do is just say Yes or No, they just have to welcome or deny advances, which I feel doesn’t require much effort, yes I know it’s the reality of life, but I often am angry, kicking myself for not mastering that earlier, in my late teens and early 20’s, I feel that if I was born a woman, I would have more dating and sexual experience by now.
Sorry Dan, it’s just I wish I took action to fix my issues with women and knew all of this stuff in my late teens and early 20’s, so my jealousy, bitterness and frustration is envy of women how they are valued for their youth more, and women are far less likely than men are to be a late bloomer in the dating/sex game, as in be a virgin or never having a relationship at 25+ or 30+ years of age, because their mating market value is so high in their late teens and early 20’s, throughout their 20’s and since they are on the receiving end, the ones being approached, have loads of options when they are in their youthful years, out of all the options that come to them, a handful of them are bound to be guys in which their is mutual attraction involved, since that is why women have generally had their share of ex-boyfriends by their mid to late 20’s, early 30’s. Meanwhile it is not uncommon to hear of guys being in their late 20’s, even 30’s and older who are still a virgin and never had a girlfriend, probably more male late bloomers than female late bloomers, or maybe men are just more vocal about it than women are.
So basically, the long and short of it, it’s me being jealous, envious, and angry over not knowing how to take action about the Human Mating Dance earlier.
It’s not wrong to feel that way, but there is no benefit to feeling that way. You are welcome to feel anyway you want, but to be successful and effective in life, you should focus on thinking, behaving and feeling in a way that gets you the results you want.
So, I would recommend that you don’t waste any more time or energy focussing on emotions that will get you nowhere. Just start approaching women by using my advice and you will soon not have the time or need to focus on worrying about women’s dating market value because you will be having sex with women, being in relationships with women and being in love with women instead.
Pretty much all of the comments from you since our paths crossed are about you sitting around thinking about things. What you need to be doing is approaching and interacting with women, so you can then get the results you want and get on with enjoying the next level of it all (i.e. sex, love and a relationship).
Focus on getting results, not on why you are angry about not getting results. Approach women rather than thinking about women. Attract women rather than hoping that they will like you. Etc, etc…
How do you loosen up in social environments and just talk. I’m sick of going out with my friend who I wouldn’t consider to be a ‘cool guy’ but he seems to do a hell of a lot better than me and he knows none of this stuff were as I’m busting my balls trying to get in the mood.
My eye contact sucks like really SUCKS, I can’t think of anything to say and when I do it usually falls flat on its face and it puts me off making further conversation when pretty much everytime I make a joke you get that akward momement when no-one laughs or you tell a story and no-one looks interested by the end. The mindsets don’t help in loosing up at all like ‘i’m a good guy’ ‘people would be lucky to meet me’ etc that doesn’t work the only thing that helps in building confidence socially is when people do look interested in what your saying and are laughing at what your saying thats the only thing thats makes me chillout somewhat but that never happens enough for it to run on auto or for me to believe it. I went out with my friend last night and it sucked again I’m so god damn sick of this, I hate when people say its easy its not at all.
Thanks for your question.
If you want to loosen up in social environments and just talk like your friend does, you do need to change your mindsets. You said “the mindsets don’t help” but how much do you know about mindsets? I don’t want to sound like a salesman here, but according to my records you haven’t purchased any Modern Man products so I wouldn’t expect you to fully understand the topic of mindsets and how to use them for confidence and success with women. Mindsets ARE the key to confidence and if you are serious about learning, listen to Mastery Methods & Mindsets and your problems with loosening up in social environments will be fixed. If you need more help with conversation, I recommend that you also listen to The Ultimate Guide to Conversation to learn how to keep conversations going and keep them interesting when talking to women (or people in general) in social environments.
Also, you should read this free report about mindsets because it sounds like you’re making the mistake explained in the report.
P.S. I know you said that you hate it when people say it is easy, but I have to tell you mate, “It IS easy!” Listen to this guy explain how he transformed himself and went from zero to hero. If he can do it (or all these guys who have submitted video and audio testimonials) so you can you.
P.P.S. For those reading along with the comments and wondering what a “mindset” is: A mindset is like an attitude or a habit of thinking. For example: If you have a habit of thinking negatively about approaching women or about your value to women, it will obviously result in you feeling nervous, lacking confidence, etc around women. If you have a habit of thinking that approaching and talking to women is natural and normal and that you are valuable to women, it will result in confidence. However, it takes more than just “thinking positively” to become confident and feel the amazing effects of using positive mindsets. You need to gather evidence that your new mindsets are TRUE as well as do ONE MORE very important thing to develop real, lasting and unstoppable confidence. If you want to find out what that one thing is, watch Dating Power to learn our entire Confidence Building System. The system was thoroughly tested on ourselves for 2 years and then with clients for 3 years before we recorded it at the Dating Power seminar and made it available on this site.
Thank You for replying.
I have purchased all your products apart from 21 great ways I think I might have used a different email or something when I bought them, don’t worry Dan you can promote anything you want 🙂
For example yesterday I had to give a presentation infront of 200 people no matter how positively I was trying to think about how well I would do and I would go great and no-one would care if I made mistakes or if I looked nervous the fact is I was still shitting myself in the car on the way to the venue and the nerves were building the closer I got to me doing it. Negative dialogue increases when your pushing your comfort zone no matter how hard I’m trying to not let it effect me.
They way I look at it Dan is its like bunjee jumping or sky diving (don’t know if you’ve ever done that, try it its amazing!) someone can sit and tell you about how safe it is and how no-one has ever been hurt and your more likely to be killed in a car accident and theres hundreds of people that have done it before and if they can do it then so can I etc etc its doesn’t do anything you still feel the fear.
How do you keep a strong head when things go wrong? Its easy to adopt mindsets if things are going well but when shit hits the fan they don’t last very long even if I’m trying to remember what you guys say or I understand the reality of a situation that little man just comes crawling back.
Thanks mate. Sorry about that – I had no records under the e-mail you’re using when leaving comments! I feel like a bit of a douche now! Lol…
Okay, onto your problem and how to fix it: Go back and watch the section called “Confidence With Women” in Dating Power again because you are making a common mistake in the confidence building process. As I say in that section, “…Mindsets are USELESS MANTRAS unless they are backed up by real world evidence.” Although mindsets are an absolutely essential part of the process for building confidence, they are only ONE part of the process. There are 3 STEPS to the confidence building process and at the moment, you’re only really using ONE of the steps needed to develop true, unwavering confidence and overcome the fears, nervousness and anxiety you are referring to. So watch that section again, follow the 3 STEPS fully and when it works (it always does) I hope to hear back from you in a month or two letting me know of your success.
You also asked, “How do you keep a strong head when things go wrong?” – Again, watch the section on “Confidence With Women” in Dating Power and use what we call bridging mindsets. It’s psychologically impossible for a human to go from fearful, anxious and nervous to truly confident and free of any insecurities WITHOUT bridging the massive space in between the two extremes. Without a “bridge to cross” you’ll simply get swept downstream by the powerful currents of fear, nervousness and anxiety. If “thinking positively” was the only thing needed to build confidence, everyone would be doing it already. There is more to the process of building and maintaining confidence that just “thinking positively”, so go back and watch that section and follow the advice fully.
first of all i wanna say good job for the great work ,
i have a girlfriend and i don’t know how to move our relationship to the next level ? what can i do ?
Thanks for your question.
I’m not sure what you mean. Do you have a FRIEND or a GIRLFRIEND? If you haven’t had sex with her then she is your FRIEND. All it will take for you to lose her is another guy to come along and have sex with her. You’ll then be placed in the friend zone and may lose your opportunity with her completely.
If you want to know how to escalate to kissing and sex, watch Dating Power. We provide rejection proof techniques that ensure you can go from one level to the next without any complications.
If you want to get out of the friend zone, try the techniques I explain in this video:
I thought about searching on your website cause that’s what I normally do when I need an advice for interaction with women. But in this case I’d like to have a personal advice from you.
I am studying at university and met an awesome girl. She is almost one year older than me and in the beginning it really confused me that she’s hanging around with me the whole time cause I thought older girls are almost never interested in younger guys. She’s now part of our clique and we are having a lot of fun together. She smiles at me quite often and it makes am happy when she does. We can talk to each other about almost everything, she is really cute and all in all I’d say she would be the perfect girlfriend. But, as you can think, there is a problem. Otherwise I wouldn’t need your advice. The big problem is her boyfriend. As far as I know she’s quite happy with him (I don’t know him). Honestly I am struggling with the idea of thinking about how to get her single, cause I wouldn’t want any other guy thinking like that if I had such a great girlfriend. But I know I’ll be very unhappy if it goes on like that the next few months and I’d like to save myself from that torture, if you know what I mean.
I am not quite sure what information you need to think of an advice, but this seems important to me: I know her boyfriend is quite good looking and what I heard popular. I heard other girls saying I am quite handsome as well but on the other hand you cannot compare him and me just on our appearance. Another thing is me being more the kind of a loner than the popular party animal which might be a plus factor for him.
To be honest I am not very proud of writing to you about those facts cause I am not sure how to behave in this situation and it’s the first time i really got into one like this. “Stealing” another ones girlfriend is pretty uncool and actually I am not sure if I could compete her boyfriend but what am I supposed to do? I need to act in one or another way but as I’m thinking about it more and more I cannot get to any solutions which are positive for me. So what do you suggest on my situation?
As I can see on the website you could help other guys and I must say thats very nice of you. I am trying to help other people as well but when it comes to women I am more the one who is in need of help. So hopefully you can help me out of my dilemma.
Thanks for your question.
She sounds like a great girl and I can understand why you’d like her. However, I’m glad you’ve already pointed out that you don’t feel entirely comfortable with the idea of stealing another guy’s girlfriend, because we don’t either. Stealing another guy’s girlfriend or wife goes against our code of ethics here at The Modern Man. Additionally, the guys who want to do it are usually the ones who are afraid to approach other women. We’re here to make men stronger, not help them become weak, sneaky men who steal and manipulate.
Here’s the thing…
If you were actually speaking to other women (try the 30 Day Challenge), you wouldn’t have “tunnel vision” about this other woman who already has a boyfriend. Since you are not actively speaking to other women who are INTERESTED IN YOU, you end up seeing her as your only option. Look, I understand that you like her and she seems to like you, but you missed your chance making a move and now she has a boyfriend.
In the meantime, here’s what you should do:
1) Learn how to escalate to kissing and sex.
No amount of talking will EVER do what kissing and sex does. Kissing changes things from friendly to sexual and sex begins a relationship. In the 1920s, men would court women for months and then ask the father for his daughter’s hand in marriage. They’d then get married and have sex on their wedding night. In the modern world, sex begins a relationship. Hence why we call this site “The Modern Man” – it’s about getting with the times.
2) Show her that other women like you too.
If you wait around hopelessly for her to break up with her boyfriend and choose you, you’ll likely become more desperate, insecure and unattractive to her. If you want her to see that she should be with you, start hooking up with other women who hotter than her or at least as beautiful as her. If you go for women who aren’t as attractive as her, it won’t have the same effect.
3) Try the 30 Day Challenge.
We get success stories EVERY DAY from guys who are in the middle of the 30 Day Challenge and already reporting back that they’ve gotten phone numbers, kissed women or had sex. The challenges start out EASY and get more difficult as your confidence and skills develop.
BTW: If you don’t happen to get any results, we offer a 30 day money back guarantee. So, don’t wait around any longer – try it and enjoy the great times ahead!
I notice that you said that women use FaceBook as a means of “screeing you”. That is, they use this website to conduct a background check on your past history and success with women, which you believe, therefore influences their opinion of you and thus the level of attraction they feel towards you and by extension, there desire to be with you. I do not have a FaceBook account but I have given consideration to getting one after several close friends moved overseas and said it would be a great way for me to keep in contact with them, aside from emails and telephone calls of course. Now, I do not have any photos of myself with women, that is to say I do not have any photos of myself with women at social events as I have only recently decided to work on this area of my life and become more social. Up untill this time, I threw myself into my work in an attempt to get promoted and recieve a higher salary so that I could afford to take time off from work to travel overseas between Janurary and March 2012.
Anyway, basically what I am trying to ask is this; will I, even if purchase your products, learn the material contained within those products and apply that material in interactions with women, still be unsuccessful with women, by way of being screened out, as a result of not having photos of me with women at social events on my FaceBook profile? And if so, is there then any real point in purchasing your products because on that basis, even if I do make the effort to learn the techinques and apply them, I will still get no where, in other words I still won’t experience success with women and dating, that I wish to enjoy now and in the future.
Just to make it clear, I am asking this question on the assumption that I do actually create a Facebook profile.
Thanks for your question.
Yes, of course you can still experience success with women. Like we always say, “You never need to lie to a woman” and that certainly applies in your situation as well. If you do create a Facebook profile and a woman asks you why it is so bare, you simply need to be honest and tell her that you’ve only recently gotten on Facebook and have never been one to take many photos at social events. Additionally, if you are now someone who is interested in taking more photos (and adapting to the modern environment of sharing fun/interesting parts of your life with family & friends via photo and video on FB) you can tell her that too.
Above all, what matters most to a woman is how she feels when she interacts with you. This is why you see men who are average or below-average looking with beautiful women. If she feels amazing around you, everything else (including your lack of success with women in the past) is just details that can be overlooked.
Without a doubt, Facebook has become a screening process for a lot of women in today’s world. It has made it easier for a woman to find out if a man is liked or disliked by other women and socially in general. However, if a woman feels a LOT of attraction for you (watch Dating Power to learn how) she will “forgive” your seemingly absent past and instead feel like she is the lucky one who will get to be in your new photos. She will feel lucky that other women didn’t find you first.
The moral of the story is to get started though. The longer you leave it (i.e. not having women in your life), the more of an issue it will become. It’s no longer the 1920s where most people only have one relationship in their life. It is now normal and expected that people experience life before settling down. Sure, some people still get married and settle with the first person they meet, but it is quite rare these days. If a man goes through much of his life being single and not having any women sharing it with him, it becomes pretty obvious that there is either an issue with his confidence or with how other women perceive him and that sets off alarm bells in a modern woman’s mind.
I recommend you listen to this case study. “John” had gone through most of his life being unsuccessful with women and turned it around almost immediately.
First off, thank you for answering my question Dan, it was very much appreciated. It is a relief to know that I, with a new Facebook profile or no Facebook profile at all for that matter, can still meet and attract and date women, provided I learn how to do so.
Anyway,I sat down a few days ago and I asked my self what was holding me back from achieving success with women and dating in the modern world. At the top of the list, and the first answer that came to mind were my poor conversation skills, when it comes to interacting with women. I often, perphaps always get seen as a friend rather than a boyfriend or lover. So much so that I have never been with a woman or kissed a woman or done anything like that before.So I went online to your website and came across “The Ultimate Guide to Conversation”, which according to you enables one to talk his way into “sex, love and relationships with women.” The second answer that came to mind was my fear of rejection and lack of confidence around and when interacting with women. I noticed that this product contains advice on how to overcome a fear of rejection and how to remain calm, composed and relaxed and ultimately “confident” when interacting with women. My third and final answer was not knowing how to approach and behave around women in a whole variety of different environments that I find myself in on a day-to day or a fairly regular basis now and in the future. So my question to you is this. Do you believe that this is the product for me? In other words, do you believe that this product will enable me to become successful with women and dating in the modern world? That it will allow me to be able to talk to women. That it will enable to be confident with and around women and that it will enable to approach, interact and be successful with women and dating in a whole variety of enviornments.
Thanks for your positive feedback and question.
Since you have no experience kissing or having a sexual relationship with a woman, you may need more help than some guys who learn from us. Yes, The Ultimate Guide to Conversation will teach you all the things you pointed out in your comment. However, if you want to learn more about approaching women and building (and maintaining) unstoppable confidence, I would recommend that you also watch Dating Power.
Dating Power includes our exclusive Confidence Building System and covers the start to finish process from approach to kissing, to sex and into a relationship with a woman. All the steps are explained and examples of what to say and do are given at each step. When you follow the instructions in Dating Power, it is literally impossible for you to fail. Listen to how this guy turned his life around using the Dating Power techniques: http://www.themodernman.com/dating/audio/turn_rejection_into_success.html
P.S. If you want to purchase both programs, please note: When you add The Ultimate Guide to Conversation to your cart in our shopping cart, you will see an offer to add Dating Power at 40% off.
Thank you for such a prompt reply.
I just wanted to ask you a few questions based on the response you gave above.
1. You said “Since you have no experience kissing or having a sexual relationship with a woman, you may need more help than some guys who learn from us.” Does this mean I will struggle to learn and apply the techinques contained within these products, as a result of my lack of experience and success with women and dating thus far?
2. Which product, assuming I purchase both products, should I learn from first?
3. How would you recommend going about learning the material contained within these products? Would you recommend taking notes and then memorising these notes and then applying them in the real world in interactions with women, for example? The reason why I ask is because I would find it rather difficult to watch a program like Dating Power and listen to a program like The Ultimate Guide to Conversation , which go for 8 and 10 hours respectively, once and then remember and successfully apply all the techinques and strategies that were discussed in those products in interactions with women, who I found attractive.
4. Do you believe that if I was to purchase both these products, it would solve all my problems with experiencing success with women and dating in the modern world ?
Thanks for your questions.
Question 1: Any guy can do it and that is proven on a daily basis by the testimonials we receive. You simply have to go through the 4 stages of learning:
1. Unconscious incompetence: You don’t even know that you’re doing it wrong.
2. Conscious incompetence: You know what you’re doing wrong.
3. Conscious competence: You can do it correctly, but you have to think about it while doing it.
4. Unconscious competence: You can do it correctly without thinking about it.
Question 2: Dating Power covers all topics related to success with women and dating, so I recommend you start with that. If you feel like you need more help with conversation after watching Dating Power, then The Ultimate Guide to Conversation will teach you everything you need to know.
Question 3: Everyone approaches it differently. Some people absolutely hate taking notes, while others get a lot of benefit out of it. Just follow your normal learning style. Most important is that you actually apply the techniques to real life interactions with women. You will be surprised at how quickly everything starts working for you.
Question 4: It depends on how deep your problems are and how much work we need to do with you. We get success stories every day from guys who’ve only purchased Dating Power, The Ultimate Guide to Conversation, The Flow, Mastery Methods & Mindsets or the Confessions of a Natural interviews. Some guys need more help than others. However, the ONE thing you can absolutely count on though is that when you use the techniques, you WILL get results.
So if you were in my current situation what would you do to fix this area of your life?
The reason why I ask this question is because I’m just not quiet sure what I should do to “fix” this area of my life. I guess you could say I feel a little overwhelmed and confused and would like some guidance/advice from you.
Thanks for your question.
It sounds like you might be the type who often over-analyzes things and ends up spending a lot of time procrastinating. To give you the guidance you’re after, I might need to explain it using an analogy.
For example: When you wanted to learn how to drive a car, how did you feel? Like most people, you might have felt a little nervous, but once you began learning how to drive, you would have started to feel more and more confident behind the wheel. Eventually, you would have gotten to the point where you drove the car without even thinking about it. The same goes for success with women. Initially, you might feel a little nervous about the idea of being successful with women, but once you start learning and using the right techniques you will immediately begin getting positive responses from women. Before you know it, you will wake up with a beautiful woman next to you in bed and wonder, “Why didn’t I do this earlier? What was I so afraid of?”
If you don’t take action, more weeks, months and years of your life will tick by. It’s up to you if you choose to waste the best years of your life feeling afraid to even take the first step in the direction of the life you want. I, for one, hope you don’t waste your years avoiding what you really want with women and missing out on all the love, sex and intimacy with women that makes life so enjoyable.
I’ve made an “executive decision”. I will purchase and learn from the Ultimate Guide to Conversation, seeing as it focuses extensively on conversation and gives advice on how to overcome a fear of rejection and become confident around and within interactions with women and will enable me to be at my most attractive to women and will enable me to approach and be successful with women in a whole variety of environments.
Wish me the best luck.
Good on you for making a decision and taking action.
BTW: You won’t need “luck” with this Matt. I have every confidence that you will succeed. You simply need to use the techniques we teach and you will then get positive results. Most guys try to “get lucky” with women by fumbling their way through an interaction and hoping that the woman makes it easy. When you use our techniques you will naturally and effortlessly go through the process of attraction, connection and escalation. Women will find you attractive, they will flirt with you and they will begin to have strong feelings for you. However, if you don’t use the techniques, nothing will happen.
Hopefully the next comment you make will be one where you tell me the success you’ve had using the techniques! The ball is in your court now. Enjoy the great times ahead!
I finally turn to you. I have great respect for your work. I have tried to solve what I’m about to present to you by myself, for a long time, but not successfully.
I think the best way to approach this would be for me to just go ahead and reflect over my situation. Maybe you can give me guidance.
I’m not bad at creating attraction. I just feel like I can’t controll it. Last week I took a class with a girl a bit older than me, she was beautiful & she had done modelling. And it was just so easy, demonstrating value, teasing her and sparking attraction, she just naturally and instantly respected me a lot.
Then, and what matters, is that there is this girl, let’s call her Sophie,in my regular classes. I see her everyday.
She had been attracted to me for some time – she had shown it, and I had done nothing. Slowly, as days became weeks, weeks started becoming months, it was clear to me that her attraction for me was fading away.
Then this thing happened that was seen by many people, resulting in me getting a lot of attention and praise from other girls. Seeing all the attention from other girls once again made her attracted to me.
Now some time has passed since this last spark of attraction and her interest is falling again.
The reason I’m telling you about Sophie is because I’m super attracted to her. She is good looking, feminine, carying, and has a one of a kind personality. I will not meet someone like her again. Interestingly she isn’t by far as popular among guys as one would expect, I believe this has to do with the fact tht she isn’t at all the girl whom does a lot of partying.
I wish it wasn’t this way but she has ended up meaning a lot to me. This doesnt happen very often to me – and I don’t even know Sophie all that well.
I don’t usually have difficulties flirting with girls. I think it’s the fact that I care so much that makes it so hard for me to start conversations with her and flirt. The initiall reason behind her attraction for me stemmed from acting roles I have done, I’m scared that if I were to man up and go after her she would find out that I’m not the ”role” that she initially found attractive. When she shows interest I usually manage to flirt a little before I end up finding some way to look like im busy/have important stuff to do(Inside I want nothing more than to stay and talk to her thou).
This has created a follow up problem; Having behaved in this arrogant manner, ( which really is just some kind of unmanly protection I’m ashamed of) approaching her now and showing my interest, after ALL THIS TIME, would seem weird. What is my reason for all of sudden having lots of interest in her? How can I make her qualify herself strong enough to justify all this time of silence and fake uninterest from me?
What in the end pushed me to write this was the fact that; I’m running out of time. And it’s happening quickly. Next week will be the last week we spend in College. The final week I know we’ll get to spend much time together. If I do nothing now and I won’t be getting any more chances.
Is it too late?
How do I make her qualify?
I know it’s quite a bit, but if you could give me all you’ve got on the situation. I’ll owe you one.
Note; It might help you help me if I add that along with your works; the Flow & Mastery methods, I own other pick up products aswell, of which some products has slighty different views on how to go about in certain situations.
Thanks for your question.
Lol…that’s what you get when you follow amateur pick up artist advice and try to combine it with our natural style. The amateur pick up artist advice that I’m referring to is:
1. Demonstrating value: This is an insecure mindset from pick up artists who think they need to prove themselves to get the okay from women.
2. Faking non-interest: This is another insecure mindset from pick up artists who think they need to act uninterested to make a woman chase. Losers. They just don’t get it.
John, you tell me that you have read my ebook The Flow. Dude, what is step 4 of The Flow?? ESCALATE. Take things to the next level: Phone number, kiss, date, sex. We never, EVER tell you to pretend not to be interested. We advise you to move things forward honestly and naturally like a real man.
Additionally, you have listened to Mastery Methods & Mindsets. John! Dude, one of the main things we talk about in that program is BEING REAL. You never need to lie to a woman or pretend not to be interested. Unlike the insecure mindsets of pick up artists, we advise you that you ARE good enough for the women you want. So stop being so insecure and MOVE IT FORWARD.
You asked, “How can I make her qualify herself strong enough to justify all this time of silence and fake uninterest from me?”
Since you’ve been acting weird by following lame pick up artist advice and pretending like you’re not interested, it may feel awkward for both of you when you suddenly want to escalate things. However, the way around it is to go through ALL of the 4 steps of The Flow the next time you talk to her. Make sure to include some flirting (which you are good at…so don’t worry that you won’t be able to do it with her – YOU WILL. Just do what comes naturally for you now) and move it forward.
Talk about the topic of “weekends” with her:
You: Hey, so do you go out much on weekends?
Her: (Doesn’t matter what she says).
Then tell her that you and some friends are going to a certain bar or party on the weekend and INVITE her. Then escalate that way. Going for a date may feel awkward unless she is super keen to start dating you.
P.S. Stay away from the amateur pick up advice online. Most of those guys (even the ones who claim to know what they are talking about) are NOT truly confident and successful with women and are simply teaching insecure tactics based on their insecurities. Our advice is and has always been based on true confidence and a natural, honest approach to women. Additionally, we have always thoroughly tested everything we teach before making it available on the site. Listen to how we developed Dating Power for example.
I’m from Durban in South Africa and I need your help, bud. Big time!
I’m 19 years old and I’m not very confident around girls…when I play sport or hang with friends or study…I’m relaxed, happy…but when it comes to girls….its a completely different story…I freeze…I feel anxious…nervous…scared and I feel like my mind is raciing!And I don’t have the courage to actually go up and speak to a girl/girls I would like to date….and let me tell you…its so fustrating…I feel stuck…almost crippled…I guess you could say I go into my shell around women. I think the main reasons for that is…I don’t have the slightest clue about how to be good with girls andso in my mind I fear being rejected and I also seem to not be you know relaxed and calm around girls who are really fit (good looking)…In fact (and this is really embrassing and dissapointing) I have never gotten anywhere with a woman (even though all of my buds have had girls some stage….but not me…..)I want to be able to approach girls in everyday places (not bars/clubs….I just don’t ennjoy that type of scene),know what to say and what to do (I think everything that I say and do, puts me in the friends zone…its sucks so much!) so that she likes me and wants to be with me…Dan you have no idea my bud how much I want to become confident and to not fear being rejected and be able to be normal around beautiful women…basically I want to be able to be able to be out somewhere…like….I suppose a shopping centre or the street see a beautiful woman/women and be like yep, I’m gonna go talk to her and be able to do that and have success. I have spent the past month or so trying to figure out which product would help me and I think I’ve got it down to two. 21 Great Ways to get a GF and the Ultimate Guide to Convo. Dan, do you think that these products will help me? (I need some reassurance!) which one should I get? Should I get both? Do I have to know other stuff from other products to be able to use the stuff in these products? (cause I don’t have really any experience in this area of my life ) Will I be able to use both programs together at the same time?
I would really appreciate it if you could answer these questions, my bud….it would really mean a lot to me
Thanks for your questions.
You said, “…but when it comes to girls….its a completely different story…I freeze…I feel anxious…nervous…scared and I feel like my mind is raciing! And I don’t have the courage to actually go up and speak to a girl/girls I would like to date” If that is your main issue, you need to watch Dating Power and go through our exclusive, Confidence Building System that has been tested and proven to work for all types of guys for the last 5 years. When you follow our confidence building system properly, you will never, ever freeze up again when you see an opportunity to approach. Guys from all over the world have used it to quickly fix their confidence issues and get on with life.
Dating Power also includes advice on conversation and has our 21-Point Approaching Checklist. However, it is mostly focused on approaching women in bars and social environments, so if you want specific strategies on approaching women in shopping malls, bookstores, etc – that’s why we created 21 Great Ways to Get a Girlfriend.
By the sound of it you may need more help than the average guy, which is why we have all of our additional programs available. Each go into further detail and correct mistakes and problems that many guys just won’t naturally fix themselves. We could have stopped at The Flow, but a lot of guys need more help in various areas (e.g. conversation, so we created The Ultimate Guide to Conversation).
About your other questions:
– “Will I be able to use both programs together at the same time?” Yes of course Shaun. All of our programs work together seamlessly.
– “Do I have to know other stuff from other products to be able to use the stuff in these products?” No.
Check out the video, audio and written testimonials we have from guys who’ve used our advice. If they can do it, so you can you. Success with women begins with the right information. Once you know what you’re doing when it comes to women, everything just happens naturally and easily for you. You become a natural.
I would really like to thank you guys, I have been enjoying great success with women.., After buying the Flow, Dating Power, Mastery and Mindsets, the Ultimate Guide to Conversation and all of the Confessions of a natural my confidence and social intelligence really developed.. I have had two years of one night stands and brief flings and, after deciding I wanted something more meaningful, am currently enjoying a relationship with a beautiful, smart, funny, and (a little bit) cheeky girl:-).. The best part is that I chose her, rather than just settling for whatever came around, like I used to do a few years ago..
I do still have lots to learn because I enjoy the experience of pushing myself to achieve more.. and there seems to be one key question getting in the way of my development..
I often hear girls (girldfriend included) saying they like “badboys”.. Some girls even associate the term (in positive light) to criminals and assholes I’m neither of those things.. I am naturally positive, nice natured (but not needy or mr-pleaser nice) and kind hearted to those I love. Keeping in mind that I have developed natural confidence, am assertive, mentally strong and even “play by my own rules,” women always talk about badboys.. and say things like “I know he’s bad for me but I can change him”…
I know I am kind, I don’t support violence and avoid aggressive behaviour but I’m definately no wimp, what gives?, Is there some key aspect that I am missing within the content?? How can I reflect those “key” behaviours in me without being a jerk, asshole or criminal, even though I have developed a strong, masculine and socially intelligent personality?…
Thanks for reading champ.. Hope you’re enjoying France 🙂
Thanks for your positive feedback and question.
What women refer to as a bad boy is not a criminal or abusive man. It’s just a way of saying that a man is not afraid to look at her in a sexual way, date multiple women or escalate to touch, kissing and sex.
Additionally, many “nice guys” see men who flirt with women as jerks. However, women see men who flirt as charming as long as it is done properly. As you would know, each of our programs includes more examples of the type of flirting that women find charming.
“I have had two years of one night stands and brief flings and, after deciding I wanted something more meaningful, am currently enjoying a relationship with a beautiful, smart, funny, and (a little bit) cheeky girl:-).. The best part is that I chose her, rather than just settling for whatever came around, like I used to do a few years ago..”
Sounds like you’re doing FANTASTIC though Nicholas. Congratulations! It’s great to hear of your success! I love it when guys follow our advice properly and enjoy the natural, easy success they deserve with women. Awesome!!
So Dan, should watch “Dating Power” take notes, then go on to listen to “the Ultimate Guide to Convo” take notes, then go on to “21 Great ways to get a GF”? Take notes and then go out and meet women?
Thanks for your question.
It’s totally up to you. Some guys want to learn everything before they start, whereas others want to learn a few techniques and get started immediately. Either way, there’s no point worrying about it – just get started and learn what you need to learn so you can get on with enjoying your life with women.
My name is Patrik and I live in Sweden. I came across your website earlier this spring due to a research paper I was doing for English class. I saw the basic information and I was amazed. I subscribed to your newsletters and the information I received was great. So this summer i decided to purchase Dans book ‘The Flow’ as it was reccomended for beginners. Thanks to your book I have now become much more confident than I used to be and it has had an incredible impact on me socially.
Thanks for sharing your success so far.
Enjoy the great times ahead with women!
DUDE, ok well i started talking to this girl the other day that i knew years ago. well we knew each other by name but nothing more. anyway our past introduction made a great conversation starter for me and after using what i learned in the flow i had her number in less than an hour and we’ve been hitting it ogg for the past several days. everything is going great!! thanks so much man. Mike, Connecticut, USA, 18.
Thanks for your positive feedback and congratulations on your success!
It’s always awesome to hear back from guys who use the techniques properly. Well done!
Enjoy your new relationship!
Hey Dan, it’s me again, Walter.
I have a question today, and this time it’s not dating or relationship-oriented.
It’s actually about my friends. You see, ever since I’ve decided to get this area of my life sorted out, I feel like we’ve been sort of “growing apart” so to speak. We’ve all been bros since our high school days, and we’ve been through a lot. They all actually have the same problem as me—-They all seem to stumble upon women and dating….We were all clueless. Lately though, since I’ve been getting numbers and meeting more and more beautiful women, they just sort of feel alienated around me. Like, I’m not the same person they knew. They actually used to make fun of me because I haven’t had a girlfriend since birth. But now, they see me as sort of the guy who is single because he chooses to. And the guy who can get any girl he likes at any given time.
They’ve actually asked for my advice when it comes to women and dating. And I referred them to this site.
Now whenever they read about something in this site like how to add more “emotion” to conversations (or being a little more risque), they’re like:
“I can’t do that! that’d be rude!”
“That only ever works for guys like you man.”
I’ve also been sort of monitoring their interactions with girls, and I get frustrated when they don’t at least TRY to apply what they’ve read here. They’re all like “I MUST PLEASE THIS GODDESS BY ACTING LIKE HER PUPPY, I WILL SUBJECT EVERYTHING AND SURRENDER MY MIND BODY AND SOUL TO AT LEAST HAVE A CHANCE TO BE NOTICED BY THE GREAT GODDESS”
………….or something like that. LOL.
It’s actually creating a rift in our once great friendship. It’s like we’re not on the same wavelength anymore.
Anyhoo, how can I convince the other guys to man up and at least TRY your techniques?
Thanks for your question.
Yes, a lot of guys experience the same thing as you when they learn what women really want, but are hanging out with guys who are afraid of women and think that impressing them by being super nice is the answer.
In terms of convincing your old friends to try new things and improve their success with women – some guys just aren’t ready to admit they need help or to seek help. As the old Zen quote goes, “When the pupil is ready to learn, a teacher will appear.”
So, when they are ready (probably some time from now when they get sick and tired of being rejected, being dumped and feeling powerless) I will be waiting to guide them to success. If you want to help them get to success faster and at least try something, give them simple things to try.
For example: If a woman asks your friend what his name is when they first meet.
Suggest that he get her to guess. Instead of just answering, “Micheal” and not taking the opportunity to use some humor and create a positive vibe between him and the woman, suggest that he say (with a smile and in a positive, easy-going and light-hearted manner), “Guess…let’s see how good of a guesser you are. My name starts with M.” Women love that sort of thing. It’s flirtatious, fun and it demonstrates confidence.
However, the best incentive for your friends to give it a chance will be when they see you hooking up with women. Have you tried the 30 Day Challenge yet? Most guys at least get sex or a girlfriend when they use our conversation and flirting techniques for speed dating, which we teach in 21 Great Ways to Get a Girlfriend. Going speed dating and using those particular techniques is Challenge #3 in the 30 Day Challenge.
P.S. Here’s an article I wrote on making new friends if you want to add more friends to your social circle. However, I must point out: When you go through the 30 Day Challenge you will also make a lot of new friends – you’ll have to try it to see why.
I’m actually working on that right now Dan.
I’ve been doing stuff from the flow for about five months now, and so far, I’ve only ever succeeded in escalating to sex once. (That flight attendant I was talking to you about before)
Right now, all I’m getting is names and numbers. I’ve gone on a number of dates, tried stuff, and I’m slowly but surely starting to “get it.”
But lately, I don’t know,it says on your e-book that I should be celebrating my “mini successes” but when it comes to getting into a real loving relationship with a woman, somehow I just stuff it up and do something wrong. I’m thinking I should have “leveled up” a bit by now, but as far as names and numbers go, that’s all the progress that I’ve ever made. Truth is, my friends only ever see me meeting new women and getting numbers, that’s why they have that image in their heads that I’m somekind of gigolo. LOL. They never see me actually stuff it up in front of a woman. Hahaha.
It’s a bit frustrating, but I really promised myself that I HAVE to get this handled. The feeling of frustration is present but I just have to try and try and try. Part of my plan is actually to get a girl that’s prettier than “miss facebook” (That girl that gave that ‘one-special-girl’ syndrome) a few months ago. Hahaha.
This coming christmas though, all I have to do is hide from my relatives…So I can avoid that annoying and dreaded question: “Hey walter, have a girlfriend yet?” DUH.
You’re getting plenty of phone numbers, but have only had sex with the flight attendant woman…so, what is stopping you with the other women? Why aren’t your dates leading to sex and a relationship? Where are you going wrong?
Oh and yeah, a few of them actually don’t reply or don’t follow up after I get their numbers or e-mail. But I think that’s normal. Is it?
It depends on:
a) How much you attracted and connected with them before getting the number/e-mail/Facebook add.
b) How you follow up. I explain that in The Flow – you need to use 4-steps of The Flow when you call also.
BTW: No, it is not normal for women not to respond when you follow up. If you’re following our properly, women will begin to chase you early on and that will increase as you go through the dating process and into a relationship.
I think….I’m actually being indecisive about this. And it’s turning them off you know? I know I need to work on my inner game right now. I mean, I know I NEED to have that rock-solid confidence, but knowing that you need it and actually having it are two different things…..In my head it’s like “I’m confident, I’m confident, I’m confident I’m calm, cool, and all that…….”
But when reality hits me and we’re on a date already I stuff it up. To put it bluntly, my confidence is fake. I can fake my body language, my words (I was a writer and an actor in high school and college)….but I can’t really fool myself. When things are moving forward, I stop myself. I don’t really wanna bang my head in the wall right now out of frustration, but it’s like I want to have a girlfriend and at the same time I don’t. Yeah, feminine, tell me about it.
Thanks for your question.
Yes, that is not how to build and maintain confidence. Where did you learn that from? Certainly not us! 🙂 Be careful of trying to learn for free from amateurs on the internet – most people don’t know what they’re talking about and are giving insecure advice. We tested our advice for YEARS before making available on the site. Here’s our story. We’ve even had the media/press follow us with TV cameras to see if what we teach would work on random guys that they brought along. Of course it did! Our advice always works – we made sure it worked before making it available.
True, unwavering confidence is something that can be built if you follow the right process, which I explain when I teach our exclusive “3-Step Confidence Building System” in Dating Power.
What Modern Man programs have you watched/listened to/read?
You have a point Dan, actually I’ve also read [Edit: Walter mentioned the name of an ebook that was written by an amateur. I have removed it because I don’t want to be promoting crappy dating advice by amateurs. Cheers, Dan] and so far, “The Flow” which is of course, written by you.
The thing is, the fake confidence can only get me so far. When a woman brings out something that “tests” my confidence, I usually blurt out something rude….I mean I know that I should be flirting during these situations (or maybe just be calm and be more in-control), but since that inner part of me is insecure, I usually overdo the [Edit: Removed reference to amateur technique that Walter learned from another site, which is now causing him problems] and end up turning off the girl. It reminds me of that part in your e-book where you talk about overstretching the social gap and becoming a real prick.
It’s really something I’m aware of but find difficult to overcome, sometimes the words just naturally come out of my mouth and before I know it, I’ve already said something. And just a few seconds later I’d be like… “Why the hell did I say that?”
Oh and btw, as far as themodernman stuff go, I’ve only ever read the flow. I’m not sure you’re aware of this, but this e-mail add is also subscribed to your newsletter. I’ve also seen all your stuff on youtube. I wish I could afford dating power though. (LOL)
Yes, the book you referred to was written by a guy who claims to be a dating guru, but is actually quite hopeless with women. Have you actually seen photos of his girlfriend? Do a Google search with his name + photos of girlfriend and see for yourself. She definitely isn’t pretty. In one of his programs he said something like, “Yeh, I’ve been there and done that with beautiful women, but I prefer an average looking woman with a good personality” That is such a cop out! Beautiful women can and do have good personalities too! My girlfriend is hot AND has a great personality. She’s easy going, intelligent, down to Earth AND pretty. Here’s some photos of my women (maybe 20% of the women I’ve slept with) if you want to see for yourself.
Delete that other book you read Walter – it has no value because the guy who wrote it doesn’t even follow the advice contained within it.
P.S. The Flow includes a link to purchase Dating Power at 50% off. I’m not sure whether that’s still outside your budget or not, but I thought I’d let you know. If you want to learn our exclusive Confidence Building System (that we tested for years on ourselves and with clients before making it available on the site), you’ll find that in Dating Power.
Well yeah, to be honest, I always DID find his methods and techniques to be a bit too aggressive and extreme. Anyhow, since dating power is still just a dream buy for me, the only logical solution is to take out that thing which is causing me problems. (His techniques and moves)
I know you are trying to respect the guilty guy’s privacy and identity, but i really think it would be a good idea for you to give us an idea of who this guy is( something like a link to one of his sites or something like that). Reason i say this is because lots of guys are out there claiming to be “gurus” and giving innocent guys bad advice( Trust me there a LOT of them). At least you giving us a clue as to some of them like this guy that Walter has gotten clearly bad advice from can be filter out instead of causing further damage to other guys. Geez who knows how many others guys that subscribe to modern man are also getting crappy advice from him. Think about it Dan
I’ve recently purchased your E-Book “the Flow” and I read your newsletter all the time. I don’t have a question… more of a comment. I’d just like to compare the Modern Man system to a movie I’ve seen recently called, “Limitless”.
In the movie the lead character goes from a self loathing loser to a genius by taking a pill that unlocked his brain’s potential. The lead character was able to swoon women as an after thought and had all the right moves & confidence in any situation.
Seeing how the lead character’s metamorphosis took place is kinda how I envision a guy might be after following your instruction. He went from self doubting to knowing all the answers. From loosing his more successful girlfriend in the beginning to intimidating and wowing her by the end of the movie.
If you haven’t seen the movie its worth a viewing & maybe even as a visual aid for your seminars. Not so much for the magical drug use but to show the difference in the lead character’s behavior & demeanor from a scruffy cynic to a well polished, stylish businessman that not only women but people in general couldn’t get enough of. I think he embodied all the principle that you all are trying to convey in your teachings.
I’m glad I’ve stumbled across your sight. It has helped me to get my swagger back immensely. I’ve been successful with women in the past but have found myself in a terrible rut for the past few years. Everything I read thus far brings back memories of techniques I used when I was younger & in my mind more fit & handsome. But I realize its all a mind state & nothing a lil exercise & grooming can’t handle. I’m interested in checking out more of your material just wish it wasn’t so costly. It’s well worth it I’m sure. Anyway, keep up the good work.
V from Texas
Thanks for your positive feedback mate.
Yes, there was an interesting lesson about confidence in that movie. That being: The more certain you are of your skills and abilities in a particular area, the more confident become. Confidence in a particular area is closely linked to how certain you are of your skills in that area. To become truly confident with women you need to get the right information (about success with women), use it (and see that it works every time) and gradually you will become absolutely certain (confident) that you can have pretty much any woman you want. You’ll see that pretty much every time you talk to a woman she is attracted to you and gives you signals to move it forward. It really is quite amazing.
Glad to hear you’ve got your swagger back V. Enjoy the great times ahead! The women are waiting for you…
Hi all and to fellow readers,
My name is Ben. I finally made a big breakthrough very quite recently and it was at a singles event. It wasn’t a speed dating event but the type where it’s at a nightclub and singles hang out.
Anyways I wasn’t even there for half an hour until I started chatting to this girl and she was very attractive. After at least of half an hour of conversation we hooked up and started kissing and I then got her number. I was the first guy to do so at the event and there were guys trying to get in with this girl but however I was the only one she was attracted to at the event.
What also made me stand out from the guys was she kept telling me was that I was “brave” and very gutsy to come to the event by myself and pull it off with her. At the end of it all it is confidence that pulls it off with a girl and also don’t analyse the situation with whether or not you will get a girl that night. Just have faith in your attraction skills and display an attitude of risk taking and what I mean is if you move in for the kiss don’t be attached and focussed on whether or not she will kiss you back.
Alot of hard work and perserverance has taken me to this stage and now when I go to any bar or singles event I have confidence in myself and know women do want to meet someone.
Thanks Dan for helping me get to this stage of my life and I wouldn’t have gone this far if it wasn’t for the modern man. May the light shine on you for the work you do and for the lives you have made for the better.
Great to hear of your breakthrough to success! Thanks for sharing it.
Yes, you’re absolutely right about not over-analyzing situations; just trust in your skills (and the techniques you learn from us) and things will happen naturally and easily. Well done mate!
I got to admit the Modern Man techniques are basically at the top of the food chain. Like with interacting with women i used signs to know if she was interested such as:
seeing if she leans in
playing with her hair when she is talking to you
Also there is one I use to see how interested she is and that is placing your arm on her lower back or around her waist. If she doesn;t pull away it is a big indication she is interested.
Hi Dan, I’ve recently purchased 21 great ways to get a girlfriend. I’ve been listening to it for a few days, and already i can report that i’m feeling a bit more confident and calm. I’ve still to test out a particular scenario approach. But i was wondering if there is a way to get girls on facebook? Like browse random profiles of girls in my area, get them interested despite the fact that we are strangers, and not creep her out. Would much appreciate a tactic for facebook approaching.
Thanks for your question.
We’ve done a bit of testing with Facebook and so far, we’ve found that it isn’t a great way to get a girlfriend. Most hot women are bombarded with friend requests from men they don’t know. Additionally, Facebook hasn’t evolved into a dating platform because most people are very protective of their Facebook profile; they don’t want their family, coworkers or even friends to see their “dating activity” and then tease them about it.
Richard, 21 Great Ways to Get a Girlfriend came with a bonus called the 30 Day Challenge. The challenges start out very easy and get more difficult as your skills develop. If you want a girlfriend FAST, try the challenge of Day 3 of the 30 Day Challenge. That is the FASTEST way to get a girlfriend we’ve ever experienced.
P.S. Here’s some info on using Facebook that you might find interesting:
Sorry to be a ball buster but can you answer these two questions.
1. What is ‘masculinity’?
People band that word around all the time and I’m still not clear on what it is. Whats TheModernMan definition? Is it something you have to do and beware of and communicate, is it a mindset, do you have to develop it or is it something that just happens over time as part of the process. What is it lol?
2. Is there such a thing as flirting too much or flirting in the wrong way?
I’ve used some examples in your book I like the ‘oh not just a pretty face’ comment among others its a classy style of flirting but when does flirting become sleazy or tacky?
I sometimes feel like I flirt in terms of teasing and twisting what the women is saying too much is there a point where you can take flirting overboard and come across as a sleazy kind of guy or just not very masculine in your behaviour.
I want to tease to keep the emotional level high and not be boring because it can get boring just keeping conversations to the point all the time and because I’m that kind of person naturally sometimes I feel it should be a treat to get sexual and have fun with a women and not do it all the time when you see opportunties. Should you be flirting 50% of the time or something?
Thanks for your questions.
1. Masculinity is essentially the opposite of femininity. So, in other words the less you behave like a woman, the more masculine you will be. Examples:
– Masculine men don’t get all emotional like a woman; they feel emotion, but maintain control of it.
– Masculine men don’t whine, bitch and moan about things to seek pity; they face challenges in a strong, forward-moving way.
– Masculine men are more interested in watching football, the UFC or war/action movies than love stories and girly TV sitcoms. It doesn’t mean that you can’t watch the things that women watch, but generally speaking masculine men are more interested in watching TV/movies that have a masculine challenge theme.
2. The amount you flirt needs to be tailored to each situation and woman. It’s never the same. However, remember that Step 3 of The Flow is not about flirting and creating attraction. If you want to escalate to Step 4, scale back the flirting and go through Step 3.
If you need to learn more about flirting and conversation, I recommend you listen to The Ultimate Guide to Conversation.
I’ll keep that in mind when I’m out and about.
Like for example my dad is a very old school masculine kind of guy he knows how to treat my mum probably why they’ve been married for 30+ years! My grandad is the same he was in hospital on a drip machine and flirting with 20 year old nurses lol Why do older generations of men just seem to get it where as today guys are just big tampons?
Does superficial stuff like liking sports and going gym and liking cars really matter? I have guy friends who always compete in those types of areas to me its just lame feel like I’m back in high school with that stuff. Personally I like cheesy pop and chick flicks surely that doesn’t matter?
Aren’t some guys more masculine than others naturally? I would consider Bruce Willis more masculine than Brad Pitt for example.
The main thing about masculinity is having balls. Gym, cars, martial arts, etc – they are all typical masculine interests. However, none of them are the answer to being masculine.
Masculinity starts from within. It’s a power that transcends any sport, hobby or interest. We could debate which celebrity is more masculine all day long, but what matters in terms of your success with women is that you have BALLS and use them. In other words, approach and talk to women you find attractive and then escalate to kissing and sex. Once you have that handled, you’ll find that most of your confidence and masculinity issues will have naturally fixed themselves.
Use (not just listen or read about) our advice and techniques and you will become the masculine man you want to be, while also getting the results you want with women.
hey ive always been somewhat good at talking to girls enough so that i can get by with that part but all my relationships start to fall apart when it comes time to make a move and im talking like basic moves like kissing her for the first time i can never seem to do it its part nerves and the other part is i just dont know what to do when i have to make the move do i just randomly kiss her or grab her thigh??
Thanks for your question.
Watch the free clip of Dating Power on this page. It includes one of our tested techniques for escalating to a kiss:
I have read the flow and love it. Got a girlfriend and alot more girls are into me than before.
My question is. My two best friends are already super confident and dont have much problems with girls. How can I stand out as an alpha male with them. I dont want to seem arrogant, there is no sort of competition between us to be some kind of group leader, we love eachother :p. But “The Flow” mentioned to act like an aplha male. I kind of feel like though.
But my bigger concern is that, many times me and a friend, after talking to some girls decide which one we want to go for. We pretty much have the same taste and kind of “fight” over her. Sometimes I think the girl is getting too much attention and start getting cocky. And we end up with nothing. But its always a fun night!
Thanks for your positive feedback and congratulations on getting a girlfriend by using The Flow.
About your question: The best strategy when you and some friends are interested in the same girl, is for YOU to display relaxed confidence and use flirting body language between you and the woman. Don’t try to compete with your friends for her attention. When you do talk to her, you need to avoid unnecessarily qualifying yourself, otherwise your friends will look more attractive to her.
If you don’t know what I’m referring to, make sure you watch Dating Power. All is explained in that program.
Hi Dan, want to tell you about the success I had this past weekend.
Last Thursday night I got a e-mail from a woman I ment at one of my friends birthday parties last year in December. we ment at mugs and jugs where they have good food and karaoke. she e-mailed telling me she liked my singing. so I sent her an e-mail back saying thanks and hope we can get to meet again sometime.not too much longer she went on chat line sent me her cell number and said for me to text her sometime. so I sent her my cell number as well. next thing I knew a lillte while later she sent me a text, which was a nice suprise. so she said that she want to her me sing again, so we set up a date to go back to mugs and jugs. we had a good time and she got to hear me sing so more songs as well.
so when we got to my apartment complex we sat in her car and we talked for a good while. then she took my hand and I held her hand and started to carest her as we talked. she told me that I have a nice smile and that she liked my eyes. next thing I know we’re kissing and the making out in her car. then she said she wanted to go upstairs with me to have sex, so we did and it was great. we’ve got another date coming up this saturday to go to the beach. I remembered the things you metioned in about the flow. I haven’t even read the flow yet and its working already. will I read the flow? you better believe I will.
Thanks for the positive feedback.
Congrats on your success so far! You can look forward to x10 that success when you learn The Flow.
Hey Dan, I have to tell you that I’ve been reading The Flow e-book and yes everything in the book you say to do really works. to tell you what happened to me this past weekend. Sunday I was at a Lifestyles Gym with a friend when I saw this young cute looking burnett at the front desk. so I remembered what you said about being confident in myself. so I said to her Hi There, how are ya? she said to me that she was doing okay just eatting some candy. so this is where I flirted with her and I said oh my that can’t be good for your teeth young lady, I’m going to tell you teacher. she laughed and said to me pls don’t do that. I said to her okay tell ya what, do my homework for a week and we’ve got a deal. she laughed and said okay deal and said enjoy your workout. when me and my friend was done she was still there and the front desk. she asked me how my workout was and I said it was good. I asked her if she finished all of her candy and she smiled and said yes. I said okay cool, if your teacher ask where you got the candy from I’ll take the hit. so I got her laughing and she okay thanks. so we talked about life here where we live now and told her about where I used to live in New York, she turned away to take care of a customer and I turned away just to see what was on T.V. But when I turned around she was looking at me like she wanted to talk to me some more which was cool.by my being confident and using confident body language and buliding up raport I was able to keep the converstation going and we both felt good about the fact that we could talk. apond me leaving she said to me it was great talking to me. I said thanks you too, we’ll see each other again.then later at a supermarket I went to get some stuff and apond checking out I saw two cute looking woman, one was a cute looking burnett and the other a cute looking blonde. so using the same skills as before I walked up and said hey giys whats up? they both smiled and me and said they were doing okay. the cute looking blonde who saw me from before asked me where I’ve been, she haven’t seen me in a while. I said yeah been hidding myself. she said she wish she could to the same thing. so as I gave the other young lady my money the cute blonde asked if plastic was okay, I said to her oh yeah thats find. thats what I like a woman who knows what I like. she laughed and said yeah I know what everyone wants. I flirted with her and said yeah I heard that about you. not only did I get her laughing I made her blush. so dose this work? yes it dose. I’m still not where I want to be yet but I’m on my way. I’m no pg 42 of the flow and taking notes, writing things down and reading what I’ve learned for reminders and postitive affermations for myself. dan you are the man.
Awesome! You’re only up to page 42 of The Flow and you’re already coming up with your own flirting lines and making women blush with attraction.
For all the guys reading along with these comments, make sure you READ Julian’s examples of flirting and using humor with women. He already understands it and is reaping the rewards.
Hey Dan, Adam again. Thanks for your respons!
I was In the gym today and saw this very cute girl. We share looks and I want to talk to her but she is working out with her mother. It seems a little innapropiate to talk to her in front of her mother. Sometimes she seperates from her mother but she is always looking. Any idea of what I can do?
Thanks for your question.
Yes, we explain exactly how to talk to women in a gym environment in 21 Great Ways to Get a Girlfriend. Ben and Stu (from The Modern Man) both worked as personal trainers for a total of 10 years between them. They offer expert advice on picking up in the gym.
By the way, you said, “It seems a little innapropiate to talk to her in front of her mother.” It will only be inappropriate if you’re being sleazy and trying to pick her up. Use our natural, easy-going style of talking to women and you’ll never have a problem.
Hey dan! Im glad you just answered the “in front of mom” question because I have always wondered the same thing. Thanks!
I want to hear the story with the flight attendant!
I learn so much by reading these comments! I can relate to SOO MANY of them! Like you have said all I have to do is what you guys say to do in your products and you WILL see results as I have. I am living proof they work!
Thank you so much for taking the time to answer all these questions with every vid! You are really putting a lot of effort with every answer and it is MUCH appreciated by all of us!!
Thanks again, DC
Thanks for the positive feedback DC!
I look forward to reading your comment below this new video: http://www.themodernman.com/videos/the-flow-new-edition.html If you didn’t get your e-mail with a free upgrade of The Flow, just let me know.
Your ultimate guide to conversations has helped me out A Lot when it comes to conversations and flirting. One area that I still struggle with is when sexual subjects are brought up.
For example, I was with this group of people, mostly girls, whom of which some are definitly potential partners – when the subject started getting sexual. And I just didn’t know how to add to conversation (which I usually do very well), I know aswell that these girls think I’m very experienced sexually (I have never lied and said so thou – it seems to be result of just acting confident in general) and I can feel how the group is expecting me to add to the conversation by coming with some funny anecdote or bold cool statement.
It seems like it’s when these subjects come up the girls want to know more about me. Can you give me a few practical tips/guidelines for these conversation?
I’m afraid that at the moment I’m not financially in a state where I can buy any other products 🙁
Thanks for your question.
Yes, go back and listen to the section on “Sexual Innuendos” in The Ultimate Guide to Conversation. Additionally, one of the best responses in those situations doesn’t actually involve any WORDS. Simply smile “knowingly” at the women. By knowingly, I mean that you know they like you and would love to be with you sexually. Women CAN read that type of body language communication and will feel turned on by it.
Also, listen to the section on “Humor” again. Remember what Ben said about getting used to taking risks during conversations and just going with the flow.
P.S. Most guys find that when they listen to The Ultimate Guide to Conversation for the second time (after a month or so), they understand it so much better because they’ve been using the techniques in their life. I recommend you listen to the whole thing again. You’ll hear things that you missed or weren’t ready to understand the first time.
Hey Dan Buddy!
Dan how can I get the contact info off of this girl?
She works in a store that has like a constant flow of customers shes the only one working on the checkout. I mean how can I get her details without her feeling uptight about someone behind me in line hearing and how can I get them the first time? She works in a drug store so its not like a convenience store that I can frequent regularly and ‘pretend’ I’m buying something you go there to get medication. I’m in the store waiting for the line to die down so I can just go up when its quiet but it doesn’t its a really weird environment to do a ‘pickup attempt’. Last time I was in there I said ‘I know this sounds really random but you’re super gorgeous’ she beamed at me and played with her hair. How can I follow this up?
Thanks for your question.
We cover these problems in 21 Great Ways to Get a Girlfriend when we explain how to talk to women who are working and how to get their phone number. Also, we never, EVER advise anyone to pretend or lie to women about anything. Be honest dude – you don’t have to tell her that you think she is super gorgeous, but you should tell her that you want to talk to her and say hi. She’ll get the picture.
First, great advices! I just bought your “The Flow – 2012 Edition” and I have been trying the Flow for a month now after breaking up with my girlfriend I had for 7 years. So I feel very new with this whole “picking up girls thing”, I was like 15 since I was trying it.
Anyway, I was out at a hot nightclub this weekend and saw a beautiful woman sitting at a table with her girlfriend. They were in a conversation but me and my buddy just smoothly sat down besides them and started with your line “Hi, I saw you and thought I’d come over and be social, my name is David, what’s yours?” She was intrigued by my confidence and then I said something like “what have you been up to tonight?” But thought all the time “I have to come up with something flirty to say!” But I had a flirting-drought in the beginning so it was a very shallow talk in the beginning. But after I while when she told me that she was a teacher I said “Oh, I love teachers, you must be a smart girl – but you look kind of blond to me” which was recieved with some laughter. We continued like that kind of flirty talk but after like 10 minutes and after some “weird silences” she said “Oh, we’ll just have to go to the bathroom.” Then we never saw them again. What do you think went wrong? Not taking it to the next step perhaps? I could have said “so, lets go and take a smoke” but I thought that she wanted to hang out with her buddy so I didn’t. And can you give me some advice in being more flirty?
Thanks alot Dan!
Thanks for the positive feedback about The Flow and congratulations for getting out there and approaching! Well done.
It sounds like you started off quite well with those girls, but they ended up getting the impression/picking up on the vibe that you were trying hard to pick them up. It’s something that women can sense very well about men. The thing is, if you’re thinking (like you said you were in your comment to me) “I have to come up with some flirty to say” then that fear and desperation will come through in your body language, vibe and conversation. You just need to practice a little more and get used to using the technique from The Flow called “Assume Rapport.”
Also, silences during conversation are NORMAL not weird. Don’t freak out if the conversation has a few silences – that is NORMAL. Use the conversation advice in The Flow and get used to expanding the conversations in the ways I suggest. It’s not always about flirting and cracking jokes.
I look forward to hearing about your success in the near future!
I know what to say and what to do but I’m not quite sure WHEN to do it or WHEN it’s enough. Is this something you know how to explain?
Yes, you need to practice. Just like when you learnt to drive a car (assuming you have), you (like everyone else) had to go through the awkward stage of getting used to doing it properly. Just keep driving/approaching women while using the right approach/techniques and you’ll be a natural in no time.
I’m a sophmore in college and I’ve never had a girlfriend. Each day that goes by I’m more afraid that I’ll be single forever. I’m really desperate to get a girlfriend. I just struggle at talking to girls. I’m always depressed because I don’t think girls will ever like me as more than a friend. What should I do? Thank you!
Thanks for your question.
Sounds like you need to learn how to attract women mate. You’re not a special case that can’t be fixed – it’s pretty simple when you know what you’re doing. Read The Flow, use the techniques to talk to girls and then post up your success story here when you have a girlfriend next month.
You know, a lady friend of mine once told me that if the girl you’re dating suddenly starts not replying to your messages or stops talking to you, she’s just trying to see if you’re the type of guy who’s gonna make the extra effort/gonna fight for her.
But isn’t that kinda contradictory to the modern man way? Isn’t your method all about making the girl so attracted to you that everything flows smoothly into place? (And in fact, she’s the one who’s gonna start chasing you?) I’m just confused.
Hi Frustrated Nerd
You’re confused? I’m confused! Lol…
You are talking about The Modern Man method, but you don’t even own any of our products. I appreciate your question, but mate – that’s like saying you know how it feels to drive a Ferrari, before you’ve actually driven one. Are you serious about learning, or are you just going to be a “tire kicker” when it comes to women? Sitting around thinking of what you could do, looking for reasons NOT to take real action, instead of fixing your problems with women? Do you like being a “frustrated nerd”? Is that the identity you want to torture yourself with for the next 15 years?
…and no, what she said isn’t contradictory to The Modern Man method. We already know that girls do it and we advise how to counter it. Heck, we even have a free article on it: http://www.themodernman.com/dating/relationships/why_some_women_play_hard_to_get.html and a free video: http://www.themodernman.com/videos/question-and-answer-video-series-part-5.html
Read what these guys are saying in their comments after reading The Flow. If you want to experience the simple, easy and natural success that they are experiencing, I suggest you stop procrastinating and hiding behind your “frustrated nerd” identity.
Well you see, a friend of mine let me read his copy of the flow. Yeah, I’ve noticed how he’s become increasingly better at talking to women over the past few months. The real kicker though, was when he finally got himself a girlfriend. I mean, from world of warcraft junkie to a guy who has a hot girlfriend—-By this point, I was scratching my head on how he did it, and when I asked him about it, he showed me this site and had me read your e-book.
I’ve finished reading the e-book and I always re-read it whenever I go at his place, but I guess I’m a slow learner compared to him. Yeah, I’m not very nervous anymore whenever i talk to girls…But I’m always having trouble with steps 3 and 4 I guess. I am a very wary person when it comes to people I meet.
So yeah, I’m still confused about a whole lot of things. Like, “developing a connection.” wait, what? How does one “develop a connection?” When all I ever know to talk about are online games or books or stuff about the internet—most girls don’t even care about that stuff.
I know there was a section there in your e-book about how to have a conversation, It’s just my lack of practice I guess.
Oh by the way, thanks for the article and the video. Sheds light on a whole lot of issues.
Okay, that makes sense now! Lol…
Yes, you just need to practice. Just like you practiced to get good at World of Warcraft, you will also become proficient and highly skilled at charming the underwear off women. Believe me – I was probably WORSE than you with women when I started. It’s just about learning a skill set. Once you’ve got it, you’ve got it…and you can enjoy the benefits.
I’ve began to read some of of the videos and ebooks.
Which I’ve found quite interesting so far.
I just have a question, is it ok to start trying some of the stuff on your ebooks and videos, on some of your women friends first (everyday general women friends, that you see most days of the week, and have quick catchups etc etc)?
I have some women friends who I’ve met in the past 2-3 years (basically during and after uni), who I still feel like I don’t know them in a more deeper level.
Would it be ok to try some of your “flirting and some conversation starters” on them before going to the real stuff. e.g. bars, clubs etc.
Or should guys just jump in the deep end and practice on women in bars and clubs etc etc.
I just would like your opinion on my thoughts, thanks.
Thanks for your question.
It’s fine to practice flirting and conversation with them, but just don’t get too caught up in it to the point where you fall for one of the girls. Transitioning from friends to lovers takes skill and experience. Newbies often mess it up by developing “feelings” for the girl and expressing that before they’ve actually made the girl get to that point first. If you find yourself in a position where the girl does like you and wants something to happen, use the technique I mention in this video for getting the girl over to your place: http://www.themodernman.com/videos/question-and-answer-video-series-part-3.html If you need more info on escalating to kissing and sex (using rejection proof methods), watch Dating Power.
However, you should start talking to new women as soon as possible. Once you see that you can attract most women you meet, you’ll realize how much choice with women you really do have. Check out some of the success stories guys have posted here are just reading The Flow.
I read the flow about a year ago and the women are fallin in love like dominos!
I’ve gotten girlfriends, women to fight over me etc.
But the only way I get into in a conversation with a women, is when I “should” to. At a house party where people get to know eachother, I talk to women and do it great. Meeting women through friends. But I never talk to women when it’s not expected. Like at a club or suddenly a gorgeous women sits in front of me in the metro. (Or maybe its expected in a club, but its different). I have no clue what to say. I dont like to dance in the club where there are 10 guys drewling around 1 beautiful women that they want to dance with. I look for women in the bar or somewhere you can talk but dont know how to start the interaction. In house partys and similiar, I usually know some people there and can relate things and I feel that there are much to talk about.
I am a student and dont have much to spend but the “Alpha Male Power” seems like a video for me now that I can purchase it 50% off. It almost felt as if you were talking about me in the introduction!
Thanks for your question and positive feedback about The Flow.
It’s great to hear that you’ve had girlfriends and had women competing over you. Nice work! However, this part of your comment is a bit confusing, “I have no clue what to say” because there are many conversation starters and conversation examples in The Flow. You may want to get loads more conversation examples by listening to The Ultimate Guide to Conversation instead of watching Alpha Male Power next. All of our programs will make your stronger, more skilled and more attractive to women, so it’s just a case of which one you want next.
While I do provide new conversation examples in Alpha Male Power (all of programs include new things to say, do, etc), the advice in this program will give you the confidence to just approach anyway, even if you don’t fully know what you’re going to say to keep the conversation going and keep it interesting. A true alpha male can simply trust in himself to handle the situation, no matter what he faces. You’ll learn how to have that sort of power and you’ll quickly see how it helps you with woman and in life. Living life as an alpha male is completely different than life as a lower ranking male. Everything changes – doors open up, women fall at your feet, guys respect you/look up to you more, you have better relationships with your family, co-workers, etc.
I continue to be frustrated and confused about dating. Today I have been on a date with a lovely tall German girl. I am tall, attractive and have many good personality traits. I have the potential to date varied women, however they are not going beyond a 1st date.
I struggle with womens tests and due to a string of unsuccessful dates, I am self-doubting my ability to getting a long standing girl friend and what type of woman I am compatible too. Also I am doubting how I should react to women at work, considering I am spending about 60 hours there at the moment.
I met todays date at a club last week where we talked, danced and got physical. Today however, she whinged about a few things, ie how Melbourne’s trains go through the loop on a weekend which made her late, a wonky table at a cafe we had coffee at. This reduced my attraction for her and also triggered thoughts about previous dates where girls threw up tests and I struggled for a response to them.
How do I deal with these tests and prevent the triggering of previous bad dating experiences?.
Is there any chance you can create an online community, so there is potential to find wingmen for going out with.
I appreciate your advice.
Thanks for your question.
You are missing the most important step of all: SEX! Let’s face it, your aim is not to sit around talking to a girls over coffee for the next 5 years – you want sex and a relationship, or relationships. You simply have to escalate to sex.
When you start having sex with women, something magical happens to your confidence and your belief in yourself that you can have sex with ANOTHER woman…and women NOTICE this type of confidence. Basically, you will find that once you start having sex (and not just sitting there TALKING to girls and trying to get to know them on several dates) you will experience a type of positive, confidence-building momentum that will take you to the next level.
You should already be experiencing the mastery level, but you’re holding yourself back by not starting a sexual relationship. If you’re picking up women that you’re not very attracted to, well – then that’s your fault and you need to start talking to attractive women. It took me a LONG TIME to accept the fact that HOT women are EASIER to pick up than ugly/unattractive women. I wanted to deny it for as long as possible because I was afraid of being rejected by beautiful women. Yet, as soon as I started approaching them as a confident, alpha male, they opened themselves up to kissing, sex and a relationship immediately. I’ve never looked back and have just been enjoying great times with women since.
P.S. About the online community. Yes, we have it on a list of things to make, but it will be about 8 months away yet. Access will only be permitted for customers.
Hi Dan,thanks for taking the time to reply to all our questions. Heres my last two weeks.
Firstly, i have had some success, the first day i caught up with a girl i met a year ago. I played with her alot and acted like she was the chaser and i was in her bed within an hour haha. I know some of the techniques worked but i think there was some luck involved too, shes hot as but a bit needy and picks up alot of guys. NYE in Melbourne i was out with a buddy in Melbourne and a couple of stunners walked in. My buddy who is a body builder with no approach confidence was with me. It actually gave me confidence having him like that. For a while i was cruising round using your interaction/conversation technique every where i went. I immediately started to chat to the hot girls, they were playing a bit hard to get and when they told me they were from sydney i said ahh too bad i was just starting to like you. One laughed and the other frowned. I introduced myself , held out my hand and they said i dont do handshakes, i laughed and then for some reason i went blank and couldnt think of anything to say. Looking back it was pretty funny.I decided to get some drinks for my buddy and i and told them to not be too mean on my little friend. When i came back my mate, god love him had them still there and was looking at me in a desperate(help me) way.he had told them i was a musician and it went on smooth from there. They stuck around all night. The more alpha female one, extremely hot by the way, stuck by me. I teased her all night and i played hard to get and so did she, we even mentioned it and she said its rare that i find a match for me. We kissed alot and got pretty drunk .The teasing worked really well, i had to be on my toes all night with this one but never dropped my status like it felt she was trying to get me to do. Problem was though is that the teasing didnt stop all night, my attempts to connect and slow down the teasing didnt work. After dancing with her at about 3 am i took her hand to find somewhere quite but she resisted and kept wanting to play this game we had which was now in its 5th hour. I said im going to mingle for a while and get some fresh air. I chatted to a group of people and when she passed me she grabbed a guy to get me jealous. It backfired bcos the guy was sleazy. She called me over and introduced me as her husband. I played along for her and told the guy we had 6 kids, much to her dismay.For the rest of the night she kept accusing me of being a player and flirting with other people to the point where i lost attraction in her. After a brief explanation that im just sociable which she wouldnt accept i bid them a polite goodnight. My mate was spewin as he wanted to get laid but i thought i would be lowering my standards. I am wondering if i took things too far with the tension and teasing or was this girl just messy, she was drunk mind you but she did get really pissed and possesive to a guy she just met. Any thoughts
Congrats on your mini-success, but it ended up being a failed attempt because you didn’t follow the golden rule of The Modern Man: Be real.
You were “playing hard to get” when in fact you are not hard to get. If you want to learn about genuinely having standards about what you will and will not accept in a woman, I recommend that you watch Better Than a Bad Boy. You will also learn how to be real about your sexual attraction to women, instead of playing games.
Do i need to be normal and boring with text if im always making the convo fun and exciting? She likes me but always talks normally and straightforwardly.
Thanks for your question.
Watch this for the answer: http://www.themodernman.com/videos/turn-your-female-friend-or-co-worker-into-your-girlfriend.html (It’s on a different topic, but contains the global/overall answer you seek).
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